The Top 43 Sexiest U.S. Presidents

Hail to the chief.

It's President's Day and just like every year, lists ranking the efficacy, intelligence, and popularity of the forty-three U.S. Presidents abound. Here at Nerve, we put together our own list, celebrating the most important presidential characteristic: sex appeal.

43.) Richard Nixon

Certainly the least sexy person connected in any way to Deep Throat, Richard Nixon is irredeemable. The receding brow, the virulent racism, the opposition to everything sexy about the '60s. This man gives the lie to the idea that power is always sexy.

42.) William Howard Taft

There's not much to say about Taft, except that out of all the presidents, he definitely bore the strongest resemblance to Garfield the cat. He ended the Progressive Era and later became Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, but we're guessing the only thing you know about him is that he once got stuck in the White House bathtub.

41.) Warren G. Harding

He had a face like putty and a dour look only a banker could love. Also, his name was Warren. Unsexy.

40.) Benjamin Harrison

He was chubby, old, and undistinguished. Very few have ever fantasized about Benjamin Harrison, possibly because most people have forgotten he existed.

39.) Grover Cleveland

Cleveland was the only man to serve two non-consecutive terms, thereby screwing up the numbering system — thanks for that, buddy. He was also very ugly.

38.) John Quincy Adams

Quincy Adams looks like an angrier, skinner, balder version of his father (no prize himself).

37.) John Adams

He gave us most of the legal principles we value dearly, but he did not do New England proud in the looks department, with a face that wouldn't be out of place at a Belushi family reunion. (And actually, there's a reason Paul Giamatti got cast in his biopic.)

36.) William Henry Harrison

He had a big nose, a bad comb-over, and luckily for him, the Darwin Awards were still over a century away from their inception: after refusing to wear an overcoat while giving his Inaugural Address, he caught pneumonia, and died a month into his term. FAIL.

35.) Herbert Hoover

The puckered old-man face is a turn-off, but causing the Great Depression is worse.

34.) Millard Fillmore

He's ugly, he knows it, and he doesn't care. (Which, actually, is kind of sexy... but still.)

33.) James Buchanan

A giant, white-haired baby.

32.) Rutherford B. Hayes

Rutherford B. Hayes botched Reconstruction, to the lasting detriment of African-Americans. He also had a stupid beard.

31.) James Madison

Sure, he's the father of the Constitution, but he was only five-foot-four.

30.) Calvin Coolidge

The strong, silent type... in an off-putting, "please don't make my skin into a lampshade" kind of way.

29.) William McKinley

McKinley's huge forehead and stern demeanor remind us of a high-school principal, and while some people out there harbor leftover teacher-student fantasies, we're not among them.

28.) Chester A. Arthur

Arthur was not a very attractive man, but he rocked some outrageous muttonchops. (Here, let's take a closer look.) Confidence is sexy, and it definitely takes confidence to look like that.

 

Commentarium (334 Comments)

Jan 24 12 - 11:05am
Ashlea

JFK or Bill Clinton should of been number one! <3

Jan 25 12 - 10:15pm
Delicious and Tasty

JFK was fucking hot. I would do him in a heartbeat. He gets me wet.

Jun 22 12 - 4:44pm
R

Fucking agree! SO hot. Can't believe he isn't number one. I mean the man was so sexy that he turned his best friend gay. JFK shoulda been number one, you can hear Marilyn's moans from the grave.

Feb 02 12 - 12:03am
Irene

JFK and Obama are the best looking.

Feb 06 12 - 10:53pm
JCshocked

Wake up people. The previous president told students that it was fine to make C's and they could be president some day? You tolerate a complete idiot as president just because he's white, but you would try to cripple and ruin an A student just because he's black? No wonder this country is as screwed up as it is? The rest of the world is so happy that you are preoccupied with simple crap like color because they're waiting for the chance to move into first place. Ridiculous. Grow up people and pay attention to what is important! Bush led the country into an economic depression and you fools gave him 8 freaking years to do it. Your current pres has caused some impressive improvement in just 4 and you insist on dwelling on the fact that he's black. If he knows what's good for him and his family, he will really leave that white house crap alone and salvage what he can of his family. It is 2012 and people are still preoccupied with race. Wow!

Aug 07 12 - 9:43am
asdfasdfasdf

It astonishes me that people would still pull the race card when talking about Obama. Get this: No one cares that Obama is black. The only racists are the ones who defend Obama that he is black. Obama sucks because he is a failed president, with failed policies. People voted for him because he's black. You should realize that people hate Obama for what he did and not what his skin color is. You are ridiculous for not letting go of the skin color. Everyone else has moved on to realize that it doesn't matter whether someone is black or white, if they failed then they failed. Bush is responsible for economic failure but Obama made it worse. The current president continues Bush's foreign policy, failed to fix the economy and cares about random things like affordable healthcare and increased taxes. If he knows what's good for the country he would resign. It is 2012 yet people still defend Obama with race. Wow!

Feb 29 12 - 7:36pm
Arabelle

OBAMA IS UGLY AS SHIT, TR IS UGLY AS SHIT, AND MOST POLITICALLY BIASED LIST EVER.

May 17 12 - 4:33pm
Anna

Obama is a dead-sexy President, and if you actually think he's ugly I can't help but assume it's most likely racially motivated. I agree with you on TR, however.

Jun 25 12 - 8:40am
andrea

I ONLY date black men but Obama is NOT Handsome as fuck!

Feb 29 12 - 7:38pm
Arabelle

nixon last? ru fucking kidding me? Nixon is 50 times better lucking than fatass Teddy Roosevelt. I swear, you are high.

Jun 13 12 - 9:10pm
yupiu

i agree but you spelled looking wrong

Mar 01 12 - 11:56am
ANR

The real list is : #1 OBAMA #2 GEORGE W BUSH AND I DONT CARE ABOUT THE REST ;)

Mar 08 12 - 11:23pm
butt

shut up

Mar 06 12 - 5:51am
Brigitte

Team Wilson all the way! I also agree that TR, FDR and JFK were good looking too.

May 22 12 - 4:01pm
jen

uh TR good looking? how?

Mar 31 12 - 12:56am
LES

Looking at the top ten except for Roosevelt I think there is a little political correctness there. Obama 3 and Clinton 6? Come on. Look at that picture of W. Bush and tell me he shouldn't be with Kennedy. This is a sexy contest not a popularity contest.

Apr 02 12 - 8:45pm
Sam

Ronald Reagan Number NINE? Politics aside, he was damn sexy.

Apr 07 12 - 4:16am
Doll

lol I love this list. I think they are basing it off politics and social skills also...if Barack didn't use the same speech pattern every time, I put him on the top spot....

Apr 19 12 - 9:44pm
anon

LBJ was disgusting, why wasn't he the ugliest? Although I do agree that Reagan, FDR, and Kennedy were cuties. I would have put Woodrow Wilson higher too :)

May 01 12 - 2:51pm
Don

I would have enjoyed the list a lot more if I hadn't had to endure the obviously biased and bigoted comments about the Presidents politics. Regardless which side of the political fence you might sit on, ideological leanings have nothing to do with sexiness and vice versa.

May 02 12 - 2:32pm
Nat

How did George Bush make this list? And how come Obama is sitting at No. 3. He is the hottest President ever. And really, Bill Clinton is left off this list? You people have got to be kidding me.

May 07 12 - 5:51pm
Sharon

How could that hottie Bill Clinton not be #1? He got impeached for sex! He's certainly my sexiest president, with JFK second.

May 08 12 - 1:23am
Rachel

JFK NOT at #1??? I refuse to accept this. TR is hot but there is no way, just no way he tops "I'm-never-through-with-a-girl-till-I've-had-her-three-ways" Kennedy.

May 29 12 - 6:53am
Alan

Joking about James Garfield's assassination. Bad taste. Lack of confidence? Perhaps. But he was also a gregarious, physically affectionate man. Like Clinton, he was a bit of a policy wonk. Like Kennedy, he had some degree of charisma. As a young man he had a lot of appeal to women and men both.

Jul 07 12 - 6:43pm
Anthony

I think JFK should be #1, and #2 position is a toss-up between Clinton and Obama.

Jul 10 12 - 2:30am
AshleyWanKenobi

I can't tell what's more attractive about Richard Nixon. The Watergate scandal or his "little white lies." Why is he on here? There's nothing captivating about the man.

Jul 19 12 - 7:09am
Frogmedic

Disregarding the obviously politcal bent and commentary (although Taylor"s made me LOL), looking at strictly their pictures you've posted here, this is my take:

Better Looking than Rated -

* Harrison; He looks like the human version of Remy, the main character, in Ratatouille. He's adorable!
* Coolidge; He is Robin Williams-esque, and many find him sexy-ugly.
* Jackson; He reminds one of Clint Eastwood. Who has been sexier longer than Clint? Even now he's sexy!
* Johnson; He has the same features on a slightly different shaped face as Tommy Lee Jones. Many find him sexy-ugly.
* Truman; He looks like the shy, funny, thoughtful boy-next-door.
* Regan; Kind of a gentile-air of confidence. Certainly well formed facial features!
* G.W. Bush; He has that look of a fresh young kid, eager to serve his country, a little cocky about it, but in a reassuring way - "I got this.". I can even forgive the unibrow because of everything else.
* J.F.K should be #1!! He's adorable, exudes sexualality, kindness, intelligence, and a beautiful profile. Hands down sexiest POSUS so far!!!

Uglier Looking than Rated -

* McKinley; He looks like Sam Eagle on the Muppets.
* Grant; He looks like a disgrace to the uniform.
* L.B Johnson; Just creepy looking.
* Taylor; He looks like a perpetually grumpy man.
* Polk; Very doofy looking.
* Lincoln; He looks wise, but certainly not attrative.
* Obama; While he does have a great bod, in this picture, he looks like a scrawny guy with a big head.
* Roosevelt; (duh) He just looks like an average joe you wouldn't ever think of again if you saw him walking down the street.

Right On -

* J.Q. Adams; He looks like Scrooge from the Christmas Carol.
* Eisenhower; He looks powerful in that picture and what woman isn't secretly drawn to power?
* Clinton; He looks like a happy man who is at ease with his life and who he is.

In my opinion, of course.

Jul 29 12 - 2:25pm
...

Clinton , JFK , obama for me . But Clinton was very handsome

Aug 05 12 - 11:26pm
CS

Ulysses S. Grant is by far the sexiest President EVER. And your commentary is completely wrong: he was not a drunk. He scarcely drank anything as a General or President. Get your facts straight.

Aug 20 12 - 1:07am
Judy Trudy

Excellent. x) Okay, so I don't concur with all of the criticisms (particularly physically)--the whole thing's tongue-in-cheek and I get that. I like the idea, and I find the list amusing. 'Course, I have always been a lover of older men (and yes, teachers.)

I dunno, Warren sounds kinda sexy to me, lol.
Taft & Cleveland remind me of Wilford Brimley. XDD
The Adams look kinda cute in their own Adams way.
Poor Harrison...& he wasn't bad-lookin' at all... :(
Buchanan's description makes me LOL. Baby-face! x3
I have to respect Hayes' beard, gosh dangit. And Arthur's & van Buren's danged muttonchops.
Aww, James Madison was an inch shorter than me. :} Cute.
Coolidge, Truman, and Garfield are aiight. Frankly, most of them are, imo.

Ooh, John Tyler's kinda hot. I do enjoy older, thin dudes.
Carter, Grant, Eisenhower...pretty cute. Polk, Washington, Lincoln, Reagan, Taylor---not bad.
I like the top ten. FDR and JFK, yes. Jefferson and Obama, sure. The Bushes are both physically cute and lovable-looking, and seem to have great personalities. Clinton? Well dammit, his photo says it all.
Woodrow Wilson--wow, I never realized it before, but he's quite the hotsy totsy, huh?

I completely agree with the assessment of Theodore Roosevelt--so damned sexy, and an awesome president.
And holy crimety. Franklin Pierce...I say they do a biopic of HIM starring Johnny Depp. People will see it for Johnny, and then we'll all know a lot more about that obscure, yet extremely fine, Pres. >;)

Aug 22 12 - 5:34pm
dcuervo

Young Rutherford B. Hayes was movie-star good looking.

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/c0.44.342.342/p403x403/264882...

Also, am I crazy or does this portrait of James Buchanan look like Anthony Hopkins?

http://www.encore-editions.com/canvas-portrait-prints-us-presidential-pr...

Sep 04 12 - 12:06am
hk

whats bad about obama is that he ignores his white side we hear nothing about his white mom who raised him

Sep 06 12 - 10:06pm
mauriziot

Abraham Lincoln was one unfortunately looking guy and John Kerry looks like Andrew Jackson

Sep 19 12 - 4:14pm
GarrettCarey

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