The Ten Sexiest Cartoon Musicians

Who's hotter — Jem and the Holograms, or Josie and the Pussycats?
by josh kurp

Today's release of the new Gorillaz album, Plastic Beach, brings animated bands back into the public consciousness. Gorillaz are rightly praised for their innovation and genre-hopping, but people always forget to mention their sexiness. It's okay — there's nothing wrong with thinking a cartoon is sexy! While you grapple with your deep-seated feelings of shame, we'll grapple with the challenge of picking just ten sexy cartoon musicians.

10) Wendy Nespot Doug

There's something really sexy about a bald woman, especially when she plays keyboard in a band otherwise filled with huge-nosed men. Without her and the geniuses behind Doug (criminally not on DVD), we might never have heard such classics as "Killer Tofu" and "I Sneezed on My Face."

9) Jet Screamer - The Jetsons

Any man talented and attractive enough to land Judy Jetson deserves a spot on this list. First appearing in the second episode of The Jetsons (the aptly titled "Win a Date with Jet Screamer"), Screamer scored his biggest hit with "Eep Opp Ork Ah-Ah (Means I Love You)." The song was later covered by both the Dickies and Violent Femmes. When real bands start covering fake songs by a fake singer, you know something sexy is afoot. (See also Wilson Pickett's inspired read of "Sugar, Sugar" by The Archies.)

8) Powerline - A Goofy Movie

If you've ever thought, "You know what would be really sexy? A talking dog that looks and moves like a hybrid of Prince and Michael Jackson," Powerline is for you. In A Goofy Movie, young Max Goof will stop at nothing to join Mr. Line onstage in Los Angeles to impress his ladyfriend, Roxanne. He succeeds — performing the hit "Stand Out" with his idol — but if we were Roxanne, we'd still be focused on Powerline instead.

7) Trent Lane - Daria

Not many people can pull off the soul patch, but Trent looked good in 1997 and somehow still looks good today. Maybe it's his tendency towards pantlessness. No matter what it is, if a guy's good enough for Daria, he's good enough for us.

6) Jem - Jem

The theme song says it all: Jem is excitement, adventure, outrageous, "glammer and glitter, fashion and fame!" Most importantly, though, girl knows how to rock the miniskirt and '80s hair.

5) Homer Simpson - The Simpsons

Many bands from The Simpsons could have made this list (the B-Sharps, Party Posse, the Larry Davis Experience, etc.), but only one parodied Bush's "Glycerine" to win Marge's heart. Kurt Cobain proved that a grunge idol with a sensitive side could be sexy; Homer Simpson and Sadgasm took it to the next level.

4) Paul McCartney - Yellow Submarine

Granted, the cartoon Beatles weren't voiced by the actual Beatles (they were too busy being transcendental in India), but it's tough not to swoon when you hear cartoon Paul sing "When I'm Sixty-Four."

3) Russel Hobbs - Gorillaz

The other three members of the band might not be lookers, but Russel brings some much-needed sex appeal (and drumming skillz) to Gorillaz. True, he's a big guy, but that just means there's more to love. 

2) Jessica Rabbit - Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

In her big entrance in Roger Rabbit, Jessica shows how to use every curve of her animated body, especially her disproportionate booty, making poor Betty Boop look like a pile of black-and-white garbage in comparison.

1) Josie James - Josie and the Pussycats

Who else could it be? Josie knows how to play a mean pop song and could probably kick the asses of the Slits and Vivian Girls combined. So let's forget any possible association with Tara Reid and instead focus on those immortal leopard-print jumpsuits.

FIND MORE

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Commentarium (50 Comments)

Mar 09 10 - 1:07am
Dan

No one is sexier than Trent from Daria. Nah nah nah nah nah.

Mar 09 10 - 2:38am
Gill Vidales

Love you so much for recognizing Josie's awesomeness

Mar 09 10 - 3:20am

What? No Rock Roll from the Flintstones sing The Twitch?

Mar 09 10 - 9:47am
fasss

Wendy Nespot is not sexy. C'mon, don't force it. Love Josie taking just over Jessica Rabbit, that feels right.

Mar 09 10 - 10:39am
Runyon

Jessica Rabbit is number one for me. When I watched Roger Rabbit as a kid, she drove me craaazy.

Mar 09 10 - 10:54am
Michael

Uhm, you forgot Sharon Apple!

Mar 09 10 - 11:19am
Jamobey

Cold Slither.

Mar 09 10 - 12:46pm

Killer Tofu and the Beets rock!

Mar 09 10 - 12:49pm
sk

You forgot a certain mermaid in a grotto...

Mar 09 10 - 1:06pm
christopher

snoopy dances with bunnies...

Mar 09 10 - 2:33pm
littlegirl

Jessica Rabbit as a child was what made me know I was bi

Mar 09 10 - 3:04pm
little fiend

@Dan agreed! I loved Trent back in the day.

Also, you guys forgot that other Beets hit "I Need More Allowance".

Mar 09 10 - 5:48pm
Zoe

Toki from metalocalypse! I LOVE HIM!!

Mar 09 10 - 11:50pm
Drew

Nice choice with Sadgasm.

Mar 10 10 - 12:30pm
balthazarrr

On of my friends initiated a campaign last month to try and get me to dress as Powerline for Halloween.

Mar 10 10 - 2:48pm
Dude

Max sang "Eye 2 Eye" with Powerline, not "Stand Out." Ugh, seriously guys.

Mar 10 10 - 10:30pm
Chelsea

No freakin' way! 2D of Gorillaz is SEXYSEXYSEXY

Mar 11 10 - 1:33pm
frostedcupcake

None of the boys from Metalocalypse made the cut?? Not even the younger versions of themselves (as seen in the "Dethgov" episode?) That's a crime!

Mar 11 10 - 1:46pm
Orphan Annie

Trent, yes.

Mar 11 10 - 3:39pm
wonderwhat

In the late 80s I dated a girl who played Jem in a band that lip-synched at shopping malls to promote the cartoon and toys. She was hot (not Jem, the girl I dated :).

Mar 12 10 - 2:23am
wabberjock

wow I though Prozac would be on here, as much as they suck

Mar 12 10 - 5:48am
Chris

Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus = Jem for the 21st Century

Mar 13 10 - 2:24pm
FoxyBrown

I thought Trent would have been at least in the top five.

Mar 14 10 - 3:00am
Tumor

Agreed on 2D from The Gorillaz but Russel was pocessed with a demon as a child, pocessed with the spirit of Del tha Funkee Homosapian, had his soul ripped out of his body by the grim reaper, spent a summer in Ike Turner's basement, and (according to Wikipedia) has Xanex to share.
Anime deserves a list of its own. Haruko Haruhara is number one for sure. Pink haired alien, completely psyco and hyperactive? In a show thats a metaphor for pueberty and sexual discovery in itself? Sounds like Nerve's speed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGiZWGlszxA

Mar 14 10 - 3:08am
Ed

Pete from "American Pop"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RL2LbIw_FQ

Mar 14 10 - 9:24pm
JS

There are few real-life women as hot as Jessica Rabbit. That one should win this contest even if she wasn't a musician.

Mar 21 10 - 7:32am
zhariff

Jem is the greatest.hands down

Apr 12 10 - 8:30pm
Julia

LOVE 2D from the Gorillaz!!! Don't know why,but he is actually really hot.<3

May 07 10 - 6:40pm
CBG

Trent from Daria is hands-down the best. Homer shouldn't place for Sadgasm (in my humble opinion) because that very instance placed on The Top Ten Times the Simpsons Jumped the Shark! Contradictory! Besides, Trent had a Van Dyke beard. So there.

May 15 10 - 11:18pm
DDR

Russell was a horrible pic.. Murdoc should have been there!

May 27 10 - 3:07am
Marnie Brumder

JEM SHOULD BE No. 1!!!!!!!!!!

Jun 15 10 - 3:08pm
Sammy Pike

Murdoc is the definition of sex appeal, I mean come on.
Check this out, http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3zfwb0uBw1qcnlqeo1_400.png

Jun 15 10 - 3:09pm
Sammy Pike

Agreed on Toki btw! :3

Sep 11 10 - 10:09pm
G_luver

Murdoc & 2D should have been on here too!
Nr. 2 /2D
Nr. 1 /Murdoc Niccals

Oct 07 10 - 9:38pm
Molly

John Lennon was lead vocals in Hey Bulldog, not Paul McCartney... :\ Either way, awesome song. Mad props for this entire list actually. But I do agree with some other commenters: 2D > Russel!

Nov 13 10 - 9:50pm
Felicea

Dead straight ditto with Chelsea up there. "2D of Gorillaz is SEXYSEXYSEXY".

(The hell do you mean "The other three members of the band might not be lookers" honestly Russel is the least good looking out of all of them)

Feb 12 11 - 10:59pm
Sammi

I agree. Plus his vocals are done by Damon Albarn. Who is sexy, sexy, SEXY!!! That enough should put him on here!!!!

Nov 21 10 - 9:47pm
PrezDEagle

What about Ranma Doco or Interstella

Dec 27 10 - 1:49am
yaya

Interstella, Daft Punk's fictional band should have been up there

Dec 27 10 - 1:50am
yaya

Or Britney Britney or Chip Skylark from Fairly oddparents, they make me laugh

Feb 05 11 - 2:22pm
anal sex

Entertainment comedy.. Awesome :)

Mar 19 11 - 12:54am
best-yeast-infection

Entertainment comedy.. Great idea :)

Jun 02 11 - 10:02am
best-yeast-infection

Entertainment comedy.. Amazing :)

Jul 01 11 - 11:09am
Erect Bizkit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIuw-eCBn3w

May I raise an opinion good sir

Sep 19 11 - 8:10am
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Sep 19 11 - 9:45am
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Sep 19 11 - 9:46am
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Aug 09 12 - 1:04pm
m4r1j4v45cr1p7

What about 2D? He's adorable.

Aug 09 12 - 1:06pm
m4r1j4v45cr1p7

And Noodle is undeniably attractive in the video for "On Melancholy Hill".