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March 29, 2010
6. Phat Beach (1996)
Another flick that does not literally take place during Spring Break, Phat Beach nonetheless gathers all the elements and adds some poetry, a dash of Coolio, and far too many dream sequences. Actually, this is one of the few party flicks grounded in a financial reality — the two main characters are pretty much broke from the start, forcing them to lie about being members of the Fat Boys.
SPUDS COUNT: 2
There are plenty of gazongas to be seen, but the guy who created Entourage directed this movie. By law, that prevents us from going higher than two Spuds.
7. From Justin To Kelly (2003)
Who could forget Amateur Beach Singing: The Movie? This stinker swept the 2004 Razzies and torpedoed the career of curly-q "leading man" Justin Guarini. In From Justin To Kelly's defense, Spring Break romances are often accented by spontaneous group dancing (although rivers of tequila usually prevent the kind of coordination on display here).
SPUDS COUNT: 0
This one makes Where The Boys Are look like Porky's. If Kelly Clarkson didn't look so good in a bikini, Spuds would probably be crying.
8. The Real Cancun (2003)
The Real Cancun was the antidote to From Justin To Kelly, offering up all the sleaze that might have kept the latter from flopping. This "reality" film was the first major-studio production to feature non-simulated sex, although nothing outwardly pornographic "pops up" during the proceedings. Cancun also popularized such refined catchphrases as "bandeezy," "butt-fuck dance fuck," and "I live here, fuckos."
SPUDS COUNT: 4
The quintessential boobs, booze, and beach experience for those who live too far away from the ocean. Plus, Snoop Dogg!
9. Club Dread (2004)
The film that brutally sent up Jimmy Buffett, in the form of Bill Paxton's deliciously dumb Coconut Pete. Club Dread changed things up by adding a murder mystery to the pina-colada-flavored comedy shenanigans. It's like one of the Scream sequels, except it's funny in the parts that are supposed to be funny (and scary in the parts that are supposed to be scary).
SPUDS COUNT: 3
Cheryl Ladd's daughter Jordan is worth the price of admission alone.
10. Reno 911!: Miami (2007)
Cable TV's silliest cops head to a law-enforcement convention in Florida and — wouldn't you know it? — a litany of wacky hijinks ensues. Of course, since this was their feature debut, the Reno fuzz had a slightly higher budget. That means they could blow up more stuff, including large sea-dwelling mammals.
SPUDS COUNT: 5
Exploding whales, apple-martini lube, Pee Wee Herman, racial tension, homosexual tension, and that great theme music.
FIND MORE
Ten Profoundly Unsubtle Instances of Movie Product Placement
Spring Loaded - 24 hot photos from Spring Break
True Stories: March Madness - I went to Spring Break a virgin...
Commentarium (8 Comments)
Where The Boys Are also deals with date rape and isn't just a ball of laughs. It's actually a somewhat serious look at changing dating experiences as the kids entered the 60's.
Haha, what an awesome write-up, and props for using Spud MacKenzie as a rating scale. That dog had the life.
Love these choices. Hilarious.
I was sad to see that this list did not include the near screen debut of the former-almost Mr. Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins. Robbins starred in 1985's Fraternity Vacation, which used to be on cable all of the time --- especially in March. The details of the film escape me, but fairly certain it had a wet T-shirt contest and a jumping into a pool from a roof incident in it somewhere.
Nothing from the '70s? Maybe they didn't have spring break then.
Where is "The Sure Thing?!?!"
RE: "The Sure Thing," "Fraternity Vacation," and the 1970s - there was only so much room on the list, and what it really came down to was my level of familiarity with each entry. I've never seen "The Sure Thing" or "Frat Row" (hell, I hadn't even heard of them until last week), so I felt I couldn't accurately write about them.
"This film is fun-loving, bold, and sort of bawdy, but there is nary a keg stand or nipple to be seen" There is however a subplot about rape that you missed!