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Ranked: The Women of Lost from Least to Most Sexy
Every single character, ranked by sexiness.
By The Nerve Editors
Since day one, we’ve debated the motivations of the dozens of characters on Lost. And — especially when it comes to the almost frighteningly attractive women — we’ve also spent hours arguing over who’s the most attractive. So, before the show takes its final bow, we've decided to rank all the significant characters from unappealing to irresistible. (And check out yesterday's list for the men's rankings.)
25. Eloise Hawking
Unless you have some kind of fetish for condescending schoolmarm types, there's not much sexy about Auntie Exposition. (And she's not going to win any Mother of the Year awards, either.)
She's as sexy as she is the biological mother of Jacob and the Man-in-Black — which is to say, not at all. Sometimes benevolent, sometimes shockingly violent, this guardian of the island intimidates us (and some might say bores us) more than turns us on.
23. Rose Nadler
Her and Bernard's love is so real that we'd feel a little weird talking about Rose's sexuality. And while we know she likes long walks on the beach, that strikes us as just a bit too "eHarmony commercial."
22. Danielle Rousseau
Young Rousseau would make us wish we could remember more of our high-school French, but spending sixteen years in the elements (and going more than a little crazy) doesn't do anyone any favors. (And while her daughter, Alex, was definitely a looker, she was also only fifteen. Apply for the list again in three years, miss.)
Zoe almost has a Tina Fey vibe going, and normally, we'd be all about that. The only problem? She never left much of an impression on us, and she perpetually looks like she's been through a windstorm.
20. Harper Stanhope
Unfortunately for Harper, the first thing we remember about her is that her husband had an affair with Juliet. And while we don't hold that against her, it's clear she didn't leave much of an impression.
19. Cassidy Philips
Hypothetically, a female version of Sawyer would be super hot. In reality, however, Cassidy Philips lacked her ex-husband's street smarts. A failed con artist is nobody's idea of a good time.
18. Beatrice Klugh
We like strong, dominant women, but the intensity of "Ms. Clue" was downright scary. Even her mind-blowing home entertainment center back in her "room" couldn't garner her a higher spot.
17. Cindy Chandler
Flight attendants rank just below French maids and just above candy stripers in the "sexy job" hall of fame, but Cindy adopted a more motherly role when she got to the island, and while we admired her for it, it didn't exactly scream sex appeal.
Yes, she appeared mostly naked. And yes, she's obviously a sexy woman. But poor Achara may have appeared in what is often considered the worst Lost episode ever, and we'd just the same forget about her.
15. Amy Goodspeed
Pro: she's one of the Island's first MILFs. Con: her son was the insanely creepy Ethan Rom, and she voted for the death of our beloved Sayid.
14. Ilana Verdansky
It never quite all came together for Ilana (although it did, quite literally, all come apart in the end). While she made a sexier lawyer in the Sideways universe than she did a bodyguard on the island, the latter is how we'll always think of her.
13. Charlotte Staples Lewis
You know those Survivor chicks who look hotter all grubby than they do in makeup at the reunion show? Charlotte is the opposite. Don't get us wrong — she worked the time-traveler's nosebleed as best she could, but when she showed up as Sawyer's glammed-out blind date in the Sideways world, we realized what Faraday had seen in her all along.