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August 16, 2010
Ten Movie Bands We Wish Were Real
From School of Rock to Crucial Taunt, the greatest rockers of cinema.
By Jon Blistein
The just-released Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is just as much about music as it is about video games and evil ex-boyfriends; the soundtrack features songs by Beck written for the titular character's band, Sex Bob-Omb. In tribute, we're honoring the best fake bands in movie history. Please note: this list does not include any fake band that went on to actually release a record (aside from the movie's original soundtrack) or tour. So that means no Spinal Tap, no Otis Day & The Knights, and no 2ge+her (which is too bad, because those guys were hilarious).
1) Crucial Taunt, Wayne's World
The greatest musical component of Wayne's World will always be the "Bohemian Rhapsody" scene, but love interest Cassandra's band Crucial Taunt comes in at a close second. Their covers of Hendrix's "Fire" and Private Life's "Touch Me" are both solid, but their version of Sweet's classic "Ballroom Blitz" wins out. Plus, there's a lot to be said for a frontwoman who can play Hendrix, yet inspire you to hear "Dream Weaver."
2) School of Rock, School of Rock
It was the role Jack Black was born to play (aside from Barry in High Fidelity, a film which itself features several awesome fake bands) — a goofy, dead-beat, wannabe guitar god who teaches a bunch of preppy elementary-school kids the power of all things rock. Points for the wonderfully cheesy anti-authority lyrics, the goofy outfits, the infectious melody, and the fact that the twelve-year-old musicians really can shred.
3) N.W.H., Fear of a Black Hat
Less known but far funnier than Chris Rock's rap parody CB4 is this Spinal Tap-esque 1994 classic, in which a group of early gangsta rappers continually ascribe political significance to their misogynistic songs (on a track called "Booty Juice": "The butt represents society...") Not only are N.W.H.'s rationalizations hilarious, their songs are actually pretty infectious; "Guerillas in the Midst" holds its own with most of what N.W.A. and Public Enemy were putting out at the time.
4) Marvin Berry and the Starlighters, Back To The Future
Some might view this scene as a little offensive, considering the whole "re-appropriation of the birth of rock n' roll thing." That said, it's well done, it's funny, the song is awesome (as it always has been), and who wouldn't want to see Michael J. Fox shredding with the Starlighters? It's Eddie Van Halen meets the earliest days of rock.
5) The Commitments, The Commitments
A group of working-class Dubliners playing soul music shouldn't work in theory, but The Commitments prove otherwise: "The Irish are the blacks of Europe," says manager Jimmy Rabbitte. "And Dubliners are the blacks of Ireland. And the Northside Dubliners are the blacks of Dublin. So say it once, say it loud: I'm black and I'm proud." Every cover they do, including songs by Otis Redding, Wilson Pickett, and Aretha Franklin, is worth checking out, but their version of James Carr's "Dark End of The Street" takes the cake.
6) Stillwater, Almost Famous
With hyper-sexualized lyrics, an abundance of moaning and groaning, and a down-tempo groove accented by thunderous drums and excessive guitar solos, Stillwater's "Fever Dog" mimics the '70s rock aesthetic perfectly. In other words, it's awesome.
7) The Soggy Bottom Boys, O Brother, Where Art Thou?
While The Soggy Bottom Boys only perform in two or three scenes in O Brother, their story is fairly significant. In the Coen Brothers' whimsical history, they signal a shift in American music from regional popularity, to widespread recognition, not to mention an early combination of Delta blues with traditional folk music. And unsurprisingly, George Clooney, John Turturro, and Tim Blake Nelson can put on a pretty great show, fake beards and all.
8) Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Theatricality has always been a core component of glam rock, so it only makes sense that eventually someone really smart would combine the genre with musical theater directly. That's what John Cameron Mitchell did with Hedwig and the Angry Inch. The band's music combines a glam-rock sound with the graceful storytelling of so many great musicals.
9) The New Main Street Singers, A Mighty Wind
Like Stillwater, The New Main Street Singers send up the cliches of their genre perfectly. They look exactly like the kind of group you'd expect to see on PBS between 1 and 4 a.m. Plus, Jane Lynch! Everyone loves Jane Lynch.
10) The Oneders, That Thing You Do!
The real life of a one-hit wonder is tough. You're on top of the world, and then it's all gone. But here's the good part: the song is pretty much always great. The same goes for fake one-hit wonders — "That Thing You Do" is a perfectly crafted pop song that sounds like every other early Beatles rip-off, which is by no means a bad thing. The Oneders would never have to make another record; we'd always love them for that one perfect song.
Commentarium (86 Comments)
Funny thing is the band that inspired this list is a heck of a lot more interesting than any of them on it. Sex Bob-omb rules.
Hedwig and the Angry Inch is pretty great, but I'm in lesbians with Sex Bob-omb.
Sex Bob-Omb is all love from me.
Even Clash at the Demonhead is pretty awesome
Where the **** is Dewey Cox?! Or for that matter Steel Dragon?! Crap list is craptacular!
No Maxwell Demon or Flaming Creatures from Velvet Goldmine?? For shame!!!!!
Something needs to be said for Wyld Stallyns.
I vote for Hedwig and the Oneders. I have more of a thing for TV bands though I realize. The Studz from Degrassi (and every other Degrassi band), The Beets, Driveshaft, and so on.
driveshaft 4eva
Hedwig.
HAL 9000 was a solo artist, but he was still representin' even while The Man was takin' him down.
Wylad Stallions is a great call
Steel Dragon is definitely missing from this list.
I wish Dr Teeth & the Electric Mayhem were a real band. "Can you picture that?"
The Clash at Demonhead isn’t that great (yes it is).
Eddie and the Cruisers!
Agreed!!! I can't believe they are not on the list!!
really?
no eddie and the cruisers???
All those bands, Dr. Teeth, Wyld Stallyns and especially the bands from Velvet Goldmine ("The Rats" and "Maxwell Demon" I think...) should be in there - but what about Sexual Chocolate!!? Sexual Chocolate!!!!!
Whither Josie and the Pussycats?
The Commitments actually did tour. -1 Nerve.
Ummm....Wyld Stallyns?!?!?
WYLD STALLYNS
Sexual Chocolate!!!
No Spinal Tap?
Spinal Tap toured and released albums, so NO.
Jefferson Heights' own Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate!
You forget Airheads..
idiots forgot Munchausen By Proxy
otis day and the knights from animal house!
I agree in the comments regarding Wyld Stallyns, The Lone Rangers and Jefferson Heights' own RANDY WATSON and his band Sexual Chocolate!, but Eddie and the Cruisers (aka John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band) toured and made a few albums not related to the movie. Also, they made music for other movies as well (see Rocky IV and Cobra), and of course..."You all everybody!" - Driveshaft...duh!
This is the worst thing. No Sex Bob-Omb? You sicken me, list-maker.
what no weird sisters? two members of pulp and two of radiohead in a harry potter movie! for shame, internets.
no Wyld Stallyns = invalid list.
also Hard Core Logo.
No Ming Tea from Austin Powers?
no blues brothers???
Driveshaft isn't a movie band. But "You Are Everybody" would be a hit song if it were real.
Oh come on! Yes to Sex Bob-omb and a big Hell yes to Wyld Stallyns, but no one mentioning A.D.D. from The Rocker?! They were awesome!
The Commitments toured, and still do tour. Hell, I thought they were a real band because of that fact.
Am I the only one who remembers that all-girl band from Satisfaction, The Mystery? Justine Bateman rocking out on cowbell...
The Guys All Star Shoe Band, from the "Prairie Home Companion" movie, is in something of a grey area here. They have not toured or recorded on their own, so perhaps they're not 'real'? But they were, and continue to be, the 'house band' on the PHC radio show.
Gotta have Sexual Chocolate on there.
I have to say I would love to see Driveshaft and The Beets from Doug on this list!
Infant Sorrow isn't on this list, why?
I'm glad NWH made the list - I've got the soundtrack & it's pretty damn good (and a great movie). I had forgotten about Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem (possibly the best band name ever)
According to my mom, The Wonders were a real band. She kept insisting to me that she remembered them. Even after I told her that Tom Hanks made them up.
I know this is from tv as opposed to movies, but how's about the Mosquitos from Gilligan's Island?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK_jq-Obv8s
Lane's prostitute looked kind of like Peggy. That weirded me out.
This band (from Mad Monster Party) is pretty damn cool too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfDPcqGw14E&feature=related
What about Eddie and The Cruisers?!
SWANKY MODES!!!!
hang on! a list on the internet about fake bands you wish were real and there is no mention of the cantina band or sy snootles and the rebo band. Call yourselves nerds? you should all be ashamed.
"where's fluffy?" from nick and norah's infinite playlist
Val, Josie and the Pusscats? Really?
Black stones. [nana]
Fuck yeah, Josie and the Pussycats, bearman33. Have you seen the movie? The songs were catchy. The film slid in some astute cultural commentary while still adhering to the genre conventions that it sought to parody. It had campy performances from Parker Posey, Alan Cummings, and Carson Daly. Everybody looked great and very much "of-the-times." If you didn't like it, it's 'cause you're just jealous.
The Fabulous Stains. And movie version of The Professionals with Ray Winstone might meet the criteria. Maybe.
Thunderlips from Serial Mom...
@Hyjer - The Blues Brothers was a real band before they were in the film, and they continue to be active today, albeit with different personnel. The original lineup recorded only 1 album, but "Briefcase full of blues" is seriously FTW.
Maybe this should have been a list of Twenty?
Sexual Chocolate?
i'm in lesbians with sex bob-ombs, crash and the boys, and clash at the demonhead. the jerk offs are good too.
I think Sir Smoka Lot from Half Baked for sure
Citizen Dick? How could you turn down a single called, "Touch Me, I'm Dick"?
Jogging through my neighborhood (Athens, GA) one weekend I heard a garage band - literally,a band playing in a garage - doing a very sexy cover of Fever Dog. Made me smile all day.
damn dude, you forgot about the band from "tapeheads," that awesome movie where tim robbins and john cusack play struggling video artists that shoot bad music videos for little to no pay.
Eddie and the Cruisers was the first band that sprung to mind when I saw the headline. I have the soundtrack to that movie and its sequel.
I know its not a movie but what about Mouse Rat from P&R?
Actually why not make a list for the top tv bands...like Jesse and the Rippers.
A really good list but I would like to mention one more, though not a true "band": Lisa Bonet as "Marie DeSalle" in High Fidelity. Just solidly GOOD.
Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers
this sux. watch "eddie and the cruisers".
The real cake from The Comittments is their version of "Try A Little Tenderness."
Where is Infant Sorrow??
Steel Dragon FTW!!
I believe Josie and the Pussycats released records years ago, so they don't count.
DRIVE SHAFT!!! DRIVE SHAFT!!! DRIVE SHAFT!!!!!!
Eddie and the crusiers for sure....but what about the international silive strings submarine band from the little rascals...and The Way Outs from the flintstones...and whatever band Michelle Pfiefer was in laying on that piano with Jeff Bridge..making whoopie
"The Juicy Fruits" from Phantom of the Paradise.
I would love it if The River Bottom Nightmare Band were real.
But, what about Citizen Dick?
Sex Bob-Omb is pretty awesome, but we have to give it up for Munchhausen By Proxy from Yes Man!
Er, hate to mention this, but The Commitments (or at least, the stars of the film) are a real band these days - not only have I seen them 4 times, my ex sang on stage with them, and they signed their most recent live album for us last time we saw them :)
What about the Lambda, Lambda, Lambda electro-pop performance for the talent show at the end of Revenge of The Nerds. Classic!
JOSIE and the goddamn Pussy Cats. Those songs were super fucking catchy and theyre just too cute.
48 Hours, Torchy's Saloon, Torchey's Boogie
Ahhhh Maxwell Demon and Curt Wilde are indeed missing from the list.