Leather briefs never go out of style.
For a lot of us (okay, maybe just me) the 2006 film 300 was a sort of sexual awakening. It's when we discovered just how great abs could be, how taut "Greek" booty gets when its spearing someone, and how airbrushing can be man's best friend. Luckily for everyone, the sequel 300: Rise of an Empire comes out on Friday, and there's even more to ogle. Plus, they've added a huge plot twist: There's sexy women this time.
To catch you up [spoilers, but not really since it's based on history so eff you]:
The first 300 was chock full of barely-clothed, ripped Mediterranean muscle men.
At the end of the last movie, Leonidas died and it was tragically awesome.
Naturally, his wife Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) was pretty bummed.
But, like a true Spartan, she's not one for too much mourning. Instead, she's gonna get hers and seeks revenge on the Persians.
Enter Artemisia, the head of the Persian navy played by the glorious Eva Green.
She's allied herself with Persian ruler Xerxes who is "death himself," which can take its toll.
But don't let some bloodstains fool you, she can totally still get it.
Did we mention she's a certified badass?
Though she does have a gentler side.
And don't worry, there's still plenty of giant muscles.
And warriors making us feel inspired.
But there's mainly briefs.
And then there's rainy muscles.
And shiny, golden butts.
Finally a movie with something for everyone. It's okay. We think it's pretty too.