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Lame ducks, banes of your existence, and professional moper Zach Braff — here are GQ’s least influential people of 2014. Let’s talk about CNN:

“They’re still looking for that fucking plane! Is it in the ocean? Did it travel to another dimension? WAS IT A ZOMBIE PLANE?! We need to put the folks at CNN out of their misery. I can get better news standing at a goddamn bus stop.”

Here are some indescribable photos from Ferguson and beyond after last night’s grand jury decision not to indict Darren Wilson for the murder of Michael Brown.

By the way, only 1 out of every 11,000 cases presented to a grand jury doesn’t return an indictment. Before you claim the Darren Wilson verdict “unsurprising,” you need to see these stats.

In 1999, this was the original news spot covering the murder of Hae Min Lee. I have to admit, equal parts horror and curiosity got me to click on this.

Writer Kristen Hanley attended a party with novelist and Merry Prankster Ken Kesey in 1999, where art cars, literary art, skinny dipping, and impromptu plays were the theme of the evening. She describes the transcendent feeling of belonging:

“Here I was, at a party thrown by the Merry Pranksters, and it was loud and hot, and we didn’t really look like anyone else. In one room, Kesey and the Pranksters were onstage, performing the play Where’s Merlin? that they would soon be taking on tour in the UK. They were miked, but it was hard to understand anything they were saying. It was hot in that room, and loud, and the lights made the whole space glow red. There was nothing there that really looked like home, and yet, all of a sudden, I felt completely and wholly comfortable.”

In a dimension in which your drain is always two showers away from needing to be snaked, here is a running log of texts to your super.

What do you get for the clinically cultured, unassailably cool humans in your life this holiday season? Check out the very Lynchian, damn-good-coffee-book-packed gift guide from Vulture.

Hearing “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright” played solely for you seems a little awkward. But Bob Dylan superfan Fredrik Wikingsson experienced an ecstasy-like concert for one thanks to the documentary series Experiment Ensam — in which people have solitary experiences of events usually taken in with a large crowd. Even though he was at a Dylan concert alone, the dude still sat in the second row.

Sweden secretly rules the pop charts — the Swedes have been infiltrating all of your favorite Britney-Backstreet-Swift hits for decades. Take note.