The Top 45 Sexiest First Ladies
in U.S. History
In honor of President’s Day, we rank the free world’s better half.
This week last year, we ranked the Top 43 Sexiest U.S. Presidents. This year, it seemed only natural to follow up with a ranking of their beautiful wives.
45. Martha Jefferson (died before presidency)
Martha was Thomas’ cousin. Apparently, a Jefferson family-reunion is a piss-poor place to meet women.
44. Anna Harrison (1841 - 1841)
Anna never even made it to the White House — she was too ill to make the trip from their Ohio home. With that up-do, though, it’s probably for the best.
43. Eliza McCardle Johnson (1865 – 1869)
Once, during a state dinner, Mrs. Johnson ate a can of spinach and then beat the shit out of everyone in the room. On her way out, she played a tune on her tobacco pipe. Okay, not really.
42. Ida Saxton McKinley (1897 - 1901)
Ida looks like a part-time serial killer. Those eyes really burn deep into your soul, no?
41. Mary Anne Todd Lincoln (1861 - 1865)
Poor Mary had to deal with the death of her husband and children. And now shes just a punchline in a Geico commercial. A punchline with a big butt.
40. Bess Truman (1945 - 1953)
This first lady never held a single press conference because she “wanted to keep a low profile.” Yeah, okay, that was it.
39. Margaret “Peggy” Taylor (1849 -1850)
If this is a successful and important woman, what did crazy cat ladies look like back then?
38. Eleanor Roosevelt (1933 - 1945)
Politician, social activist, educator; one of the most accomplished First Ladies of all time. And god-awful looking. Still, we’ll bump her up a few spots for personality.
37. Jane Means Appleton Pierce (1853 - 1857)
Nathaniel Hawthorne’s pet name for this First Lady was “Death’s head.” That would be like Sarah Palin calling you uninformed.