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Seven Supporting Actors Who Are Sexier Than The Leading Man

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In defense of Pete Campbell and Ron Weasley.

For every hot actor in Hollywood, there's an even hotter one getting less love from the Twitter mafia. Rupert Grint may have fans for his portrayal of Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter series, but unlike Daniel Radcliffe, he sure as hell doesn't have his own Halloween costume for dogs. Let's attempt to right that wrong with this list of our favorite second bananas, all of them considerably firmer and riper than their starring counterparts.

7. Philip Michael Thomas as Detective Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs, Miami Vice

Philip Michael Thomas as Detective Ricardo Tubbs, Miami Vice

All you nouveau dandies take note: here's a man who had swagger long before deodorant manufacturers made it a marketable commodity. Crockett was cool, but Tubbs was cooler, and he didn't need to rely on facial stubble or elaborate ploys to meet women. That's right, we're talking to you, Sonny, with your pet alligator and cheesy houseboat. Sure, the Jheri curl ‘do was a little dated, even back then, but it compared to Crockett, Tubbs had better suits and a better sense of humor. A tip of the bikini top to you, detective.

6. Orlando Bloom as Will Turner, Pirates of the Caribbean 

Orlando Bloom as Will Turner, Pirates of the Carribean

How such a gorgeous specimen gets overlooked in favor of Johnny Depp with a Captain Lou Albano beard we'll never know. What we do know is that Mr. Bloom makes a heck of a blacksmith-turned-swashbuckler, from the top of his finely boned head to the tip of his prettier-than-yours toes. And yet Turner's impeccable face appears on movie posters one-tenth as much as Sparrow's. We call bullshit. Yes, Depp's a better actor, but come on — look at the man — this is show business. Genetic gifts count. Orlando, if you ever feel like talking, we're right outside your trailer.

5. Anthony Edwards as Goose, Top Gun

"I feel the need… to relieve you of your flight suit." Top Gun's top gun wasn't Maverick, with his douchewad karaoke and post-coitus roses on pillows. Nor was it Iceman, with his Clairol Frost & Tip highlights and gum-chomping Gary Busey smile. Goose was the one with the dimples, bedhead, and hip-before-its-time smut 'stache who could play both wingman and devoted family man with equal zeal. Cruise may have gotten the glory, but it was Edwards who made us cry into our pillows. Here's a guy who knows it's better to make an early exit and settle into a nice, respectable medical drama than have your character live on, get into a crazy alien religion, and creep out every man, woman, and child in Hollywood.

4. Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley, Harry Potter

Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley, Harry Potter

Ron takes a beating as dutiful right-hand man to Harry Potter and on-again off-again plaything for Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series, suffering through broken bones, a bout with some chocolate-covered roofies, and nearly being eaten by an enormous arachnid. His reward? A rat for a pet, hand-me-down threads, and the world's most lame-ass magic wand. Ron, you're a good kid. Actually, you're a man now. Which means it's okay to say that you're a total fox — from that shaggy hair to those doll baby eyes to that transcendent coloring, like some sort of knight who stepped off a Renaissance tapestry. Your costar, on the other hand, looks like Frodo and Alan Thicke had a baby. Here's hoping you get your due, or at least a break from the spiders, in the next sequel.

3. Leonard Nimoy as Spock, Star Trek

Leonard Nimoy as Spock, Star Trek

The title of U.S.S. Enterprise ladykiller-in-chief is generally given to shirtless alien-humper James T. Kirk, but it's Spock who really gets our green Vulcan blood pumping. Aesthetics-wise, he's got the mod haircut, diamond-cut cheekbones, and throaty deep voice that always makes it sound like he's saying something dirty, even when he's not. It also doesn't hurt that he's a huge egghead who can still kick ass and "mind meld" you eight ways from Sunday without taking a single item of clothing off. So what if he only gets horny once every seven years? Cheating won't be an issue, and all that pent-up sexual energy will make it more than worth your while.

2. Alan Ruck as Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Alan Ruck as Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Ferris is "a righteous dude" but he's also popular. Save for a small group of the socially-gifted-and-genuinely-nice, that usually means shallow, backstabbing, and in love with yourself. Sure, Ferris may smile at you in the hallway or even make out with you at a kegger, but Cameron's the one who'd make you mix tapes and give you his hockey jersey when you're cold. Cameron is tall and rangy; Ferris is wee and stubby. Cameron is complex and neurotic; Ferris is a vapid game-show host. Forget Mr. Personality. Surrender to those shelter-dog eyes and button nose and hit up this cutie on your next day off.

1. Vincent Kartheiser as Pete Campbell, John Slattery as Roger Sterling, Aaron Staton as Ken Cosgrove, or Rich Sommer as Harry Crane, Mad Men

Mad Men's leading man is hot. No one's disputing that, so put down your Don Draper troll pen and hang up your Don Draper Snoopy phone. All we're saying is that, despite his tortured-everyman persona, Don Draper is kind of an asshole. And if you're going to go for assholes, you might as well diversify your portfolio. Harry Crane's got the teddy-bear nerd down. Pete Campbell's the preppy hate-fuck that haunted you throughout high school. Even those who don't go for older guys would probably give Roger Sterling a whirl. As for Draper, don't worry. The man's sex appeal is like a cockroach post-nuclear annihilation, i.e. unstoppable.