This Brooke Candy Song is My New Sex Jam

With her feminist lyrics and platform sneakers, Brooke Candy has stolen my heart. 

BY LIZZIE PLAUGIC

For the past week or so, I’ve been hooked on Brooke Candy. Which is a cool thing to say, because it’s like I’m a toddler who has suddenly discovered the oral pleasure of Air Heads and shoves them greedily into my cheeks at every private moment I get. And boy, are my cheeks full. If you want the specifics, I’m hooked on Candy’s most recent single, “I Wanna Fuck Right Now.”

You may recognize Brook Candy from her co-starring role in the video for Grimes’ “Genesis,” in which she wanders the streets in a metallic cut-out bodysuit and fellates a flavored candy cane.  Candy works as a stripper (which may be obvious from the video) and told VICE, “I wouldn't perform in a super-sexual way if being a stripper wasn't the way I made money.” But super-sexual she is, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

In addition to being catchy-as-heck, “I Wanna Fuck Right Now” is like an antidote to Beyonce’s newly released “Bow Down” which—whether you think it’s anti-feminist or not—demands us to “Bow down, bitches,” whereas Brooke Candy offers, “Ladies stand up.” If Beyonce is a monarch we should fear, Brooke Candy is the high school class president everyone can talk to. With lines like, “We don't need a man/These greedy dudes be needy man,” and “Pussy is a weapon,” the song puts all women on the same team, rather than as tight-lipped competitors, infinitely jealous of one another. If we need a new feminist rapper, Brooke Candy lets us know that she’s “reppin' the women” (in four-inch platform sneakers and a thong bikini, no less). 

Maybe it’s not the most original or stylistically groundbreaking song, and the chorus is only one syllable away from Rob Base’s “I Wanna Rock Right Now,” but the lyrics are badass and served to us dressed in glitter and snakes. Even if you hate the song from a musical standpoint (in which case you should also admit that you hate fun), you can’t deny that its message (enthusiastic consent and female empowerment) is a good one. And fyi, there’s no better soundtrack for amping yourself up for a hot date—whether or not you're planning on doing the dirty. 

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