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This Dick Pic Critique Site Is Totally Awesome

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Follow Madeleine Holden on her quest to improve the penile arts. 

While the backgrounds vary – a pile of dirty briefs, a forlorn bottle of  Old Spice Swagger shower gel, a cat – we've all seen the picture: a grainy, gray, close-up of someone's johnson. Inspired by a particularly arousing dick pic she received in September, Madeleine Holden, creator of the NSFW site Critique My Dick Pic, seeks to change all that. Holden recently wrote an article for The Hairpin explaining her creative side-project. 

"'Critique My Dick Pic' is a blog with a simple, self-explanatory premise: men (and other people with penises) send me pictures of their dicks, and I critique them with love." Holden stresses that she isn't critiquing the dick itself, but the presentation, remaining "neutral about the size of someone's dick" and refusing  "to shame sender's bodies." Although she adds, "It's not about being saccharine or coddling: I don't mince my words when someone sends me a thoughtless, lazy shot (although I do still try to be somewhat encouraging and constructive)."

Contrary to popular belief, a lot of women like dick pics, but context is key, writes comedian and journalist Gaby Dunn in her article for Playboy. "Show a woman one isolated ball, and she's going to want another ball, then a dick, then the face belonging to the dick and then some idea of the man behind the face." 

So what makes a good dick pic?  Holden points to a few key tips: don't send a "log," (a birds-eye view, close up of your dong) and "realize the power of your hands to transform a dick pic from ordinary to wettie-inducing." She urges schlong shot senders to "pay attention to the background and setting of your picture, and be aware that even a very small amount of thought and consideration for the desires of your receiver will set you apart."

Of the project, Holden, who receives hundreds of submissions daily, says it is proving to be "extremely positive and humbling." She notes, "It's fun and light, but it's also confirmed to me just how fragile men are; how crumblingly insecure and self-conscious so many of them are about their bodies. That's very human and understandable, and it's a terrain with which most women are familiar, but men in particular are exhorted to grin and bear their body issues rather than talk about them." Holden feels perhaps this is why men have "responded so openly to my project; an anonymous outlet for them to share their deepest vulnerabilities (and to swing their dicks around). "

So there ya have it, folks! Now, get to sending. 

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