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Watch This: Celebrities Talk About Losing Their Virginity
The new webseries is honest and endearing without being cute.
By Johannah King-Slutzky
Morgan Spurlock and John Stamos have partnered up for a new webseries about celebrities losing their virginity. I expected the series to be kind of meh-- for one thing, as a rule I consider Morgan Spurlock to be the Michael Moore of everyday bullshit. (You lost me at "Mansome," Spurlock!) Plus, John Stamos, a straight man with permanently applied good looks, seemed like a strange choice for a show about "diverse" sexual experience AND on a platform that seems desperate to rejuvenate its brand. (If you didn't already guess it, the aspiring internet cool dad of which I speak is none other than Yahoo, exclamation point.) But somehow, it works.
The ten five-minute episodes released so far feature both men and women. Two of the ten interviewees married the person they lost their virginity to, but many others described a notable lack of fireworks. Many of the celebrities said that they planned their initiatory experiences very methodically, citing explicit phone calls, strategic house parties, and 18th birthdays as occasions. Others described their experience as more conventionally mystical. (South Park co-creator Matt Stone talks about having a satisfying yet bragless experience on a group outing camping trip.) So far there are no people of color, no queer women, and nobody who lost their virginity past age 18, even though every single one talks about being "really old."
My favorite interview was the one with Alan Cumming, who is bisexual and lost his virginity to a woman. I tried to embed a clip of it here but Yahoo! is terrible at everything and doesn't provide an embed code.
I don't know whether it's because he's queer or European or what but Alan Cumming definitely goes for it. Which orifice counts toward virginity? How many pubic hairs? Semen measured in gallons? (I kid on the last one.) It's made all the better because Cumming talks with his hands, which Yahoo! can't bleep. (They unfortunately bleep out an entire sentence toward the end of Cumming's interview.) To be honest I was pretty surprised that such a corporate production would represent bisexuality at all, much less male bisexuality. When it comes to non-straight sexualities John Stamos is always considerate, but sometimes he seems almost a little too considerate. Many of his other interviews are more jocular. But all press is good press, and besides usually we have to resort to less corporate webserieses like The Outs or Little Horribles to get any mention of adolescent queer sexuality, so, progress!
The other interview I really enjoyed was with Casey Wilson, who describes methodically losing her virginity and then DEMOLISHING both her boyfriend and her house when he breaks up with her down the line. Ah, young love.