The most pants-exciting internet content of the week.
Via ThoughtCatalog, here's the playlist for your next tryst. Sadly missing "Dark End of the Street," but worthy nonetheless. This makes me think, though — what's the cheatin' anthem for 2012? Please don't let it be Rihanna.
Via the venerable McSweeney's Internet Tendency, here's what your favorite writers might have contributed to a Cosmo sex tips roundup. My favorite? Hemingway: "And you silently tipped the ice-cube down his shirt. The ice-cube was cold. His body was hot. The cold ice-cube felt good inside his shirt."
Yes, I'm a little late to the party on this one. That said, shut up and piss away four hours of your life on this site. One of our editors (it's me) has this entire monologue memorized, and he enjoys reciting it to interns. "Do not disturb the disco dancers. Marlon will be with you shortly."
Via AV Club, here's everything you need to get you started on your idolization of Big Star, The Raspberries, and Cheap Trick. Or little-known power trio The Nerves (a company favorite, for obvious reasons).
I love Lindy West over at Jezebel. She's a funny lady, and when she pulls out her B.S.-evisceratin' knife (purely metaphorical in this instance, of course), she doesn't mess around. To wit: her clever dissection of the (relatively) recent "Ladies only" versions of everything that have been flooding the shelves. On Bombshell Jerky, "the best beef jerky for women," West writes, "I can only speculate as to how this beef jerky is better "for women" than other beef jerkies. I hope it comes pre-chewed for my delicate spun-sugar lady-jaw! I hope it's pH-balanced so it doesn't upset my vaginal flora! I hope it's fucking pink!