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Em & Lo's Halloween Issue

Cherished Nerve alumni Em & Lo's Halloween issue is packed with all kinds of 'ween-y goodness, including (but not limited to) "How to Have Sex With a Vampire," and their "Halloween Haiku Contest," the winner of which is this gem: "please, babe? just the tip? / he thrusts, and…did it break off? / no more zombie sex."

10 Game of Thrones Guys and Whether or Not You Should Marry Them

Since you probably won't be able to lift a beer at Halloween parties next week without bumping into a few GoT-themed people, you might want to read up on what their choice of costume says about their suitability as a mate.

Brazilian Woman Auctions Her Virginity for $780,000

It's just what it sounds like. And no, you won't be able to watch. Worth noting, though, that the guy who also auctioned off his virginity got $3,000. The invisible hand of the market strikes again!

Primer: A Guide to the Universal Studios Monster Movies, 1923-1955

Since you probably won't be able to lift a beer at Halloween parties next week without seeing at least one person dressed up as as classic Universal Studios monster, you should probably get acquainted with them. The last thing you want is to get your Karloffs and Cheneys confused. What a faux pas.

Japanese Contact Juggling

You thought that ball-rolling-around-the-hands thing David Bowie did in Labyrinth was badass? This dude makes Jareth his bitch.