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Beloved street artist of “Hi, How Are You?” fame, Daniel Johnston has painted his first mural in over 20 years.

In lube news, I personally really appreciate Astroglide’s new ambiguously gendered ad campaign that uses wooden dolls — yes, wooden dolls— instead of models or stock images. The lube slingers want us to focus on the intimacy, not the gender or judgment,of their product. I’m down.

One Daily Beast writer witnesses the death of a the once great Atlantic City Taj Mahal on its last night.

A man in Valley Stream, New York legally changed his name to Santa Claus. The lifetime Kris Kringle explains his compulsive need for authenticity:

“I was having a difficult time convincing kids that I was the real deal. Kids would be confused and upset, asking me where my sleigh and reindeer were when they saw me leaving the party in my pickup truck. I needed to convince them that I was really Santa Claus, so now I can pull out my driver’s license or my insurance card and it says right there: Santa Claus.”

This video is sort of depressing. It explains why you will marry the wrong person. Basically, we like people who are trouble because they mess us up in such cosily familiar ways. The narrator’s British accent softens the blow.

We’ve reached peak butt, culturally speaking. After Paper Magazine’s feature of Kim Kardashian’s butt “broke the internet,” spin-off memes have exploded everywhere. Now a Danish artist Uwe Max Jensen has taken Kim’s booty to a whole new level by recreating her portrait by using his penis as a paintbrush. Life is stranger than fiction, and dicks are more dexterous than you could ever imagine.

You know how dads are always starting fires in the kitchen on TV, falling off the roof, or forgetting to throw the top on the blender? A new study confirms what we might have suspected all along: men are more likely to die as a result of doing something really, really dumb.