"Farmer's markets are the ground zero for ugly."
Lance Manion, an accomplished internet troll, really wants you to have sex with an ugly person. The proponent of last year's first ever National Have Sex with an Ugly Person Day, Manion is back at it again, willing all of the eight to tens out there to get off their high horses and share a romp with the less genetically privileged on April 2nd. Why's he pushing for for a second annual National Have Sex with an Ugly Person Day? Did the first one see a wave of exceptionally good looking people taking pity on the common man, disrobing out of their well-fitting garments, and ravishing them? "No. It would be hard to imagine an event less successful. On the positive side, it did start a tiny amount of conversation about the importance our culture places on physical attractiveness. It also generated some nasty e-mails," Manion told me.
A self-professed "not really attractive person," Manion was generous enough to provide me with a drawing of himself when I requested a photo. Of course, you can't discern whether or not Manion is as unfortunate looking as he professes, but he's campaigning under the motto that, when it comes to who gets to have sex with whom because of their looks, life just isn't fair.
The inspiration for this year's ugly talk is what Manion cites as the epicenter of hideous: farmer's markets. "I was reminded of that fact during a recent visit to a farmer's market. Having never before been to a farmer's market, I was not prepared for the ugly people I saw there. It is literally Ground Zero for ugly." Which, of all his inflammatory comments, I immediately contested. Farmer's markets are where people go to fondle peaches and sniff in the freshness of their okra and then immediately practice outdoor yoga. Not to mention, the mere existence of Brentwood Farmer's Market – which boasts the likes of Naomi Watts and Ben Affleck as well as other comely celebrity Red Russian kale buyers – disproves the theory, but Manion wasn't having it.
While it may seem like he's punking us all, Manion says he's well prepared for the negative reception his holiday could rake in, but is most interested in giving voice to the fact that beautiful people tend to gather around money and power, and it leaves a lot of people out in the cold. "I would like to believe that with enough time and effort that this holiday could eventually get one ugly person laid. I have always been a dreamer," Manion said. So far he's pioneering the world's most unsuccessful national holiday, but he wouldn't mind benefiting from the publicity, citing Yvonne Strahovski as his reach.
So perhaps one frog will get laid by a disproportionately attractive prince this April. Manion would like to hope so, but until then, we can rest assured that the inhabitants of the world will still continue to sleep with attractive, intriguing personalities and sexy/ugly people alike. Even Manion will tell you, "Everyone I sleep with is beautiful…inside."
Image via Flickr.