This Man's Homemade Sex Doll Is Absolutely Horrifying

Coming to an Etsy shop near you.

BY KATE HAKALA

In a project that would have dominated crafting shame-forum Regretsy, Redditor zeppelin_weapon has introduced the world to his very own homemade sex doll. To the surprise of no one, it's literally the most heinous monstrosity to ever be sticky taped together. I honestly cannot discern the sex doll's torso from the contents of the garbage bag I just left on the curb outside my apartment.

Why was this man so desperate to fuck a semi-female-shaped object that he had to go with a DIY fuck piñata?

I sort of feel like I should give everyone a NSFW warning for the photos below, but they're also about as sexually provocative as a balloon tied to a magazine tied to a sneaker can be. I have seen more aesthetically pleasing things come up after I've snaked a toilet.

If you would like to try this at home, from what I can make out, you will need: papier mâché, a knee brace, masking tape, four used bodega bags with the receipt left inside, crinkled Cover Girl ads circa 1998 when Sarah Michelle Gellar was last famous, thermal underwear, a balloon, a black wig, a sweatshirt hood, generic brand lotion, rolled up towels, errant pieces of fabric, tennis shoes (they're just more practical than heels), the entire contents of a Chinatown dumpster, and a shit ton of free time. Can't we start a Kickstarter to raise the $5K it will cost to get this guy an actual customizable Real Doll love doll?

Images via Reddit.

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