This Video of Vaginas Making Candy Is the Weirdest Thing You’ll See Today

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Oh, that's why they call them Sweet Tarts. 

Perhaps you've already overdosed on CVS aisle fare, those tiny Dove hearts with demonically addictive qualities, or the vagina-molded chocolate lollipops they sell in the lobby of college productions of The Vagina Monologues. There's just something about Valentine's Day, vaginas, and candy that go together so well. Or, that's the rumor.

The ladies over at Uproxx created a bizarrely compelling what-if video that follows the simple hypothetical: "If Vaginas Made Candy." In this alternate confectionery-pussy universe, women can simply masturbate at a gas station and, poof, their vagina delivers a big bag of licorice rope with their orgasm. If you're looking for a punchline or a reason for this video, one won't come. But the vagina-candy really gets you thinking, if your vagina were to make batches of one sweet, what would it be? My vagina would make Take5.