Entertainment

Vine Is Banning Porn and We’re Totally Going to Miss It

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If only that kid didn't have sex with a Hot Pocket.

The golden age of porn on Vine is officially over. Twitter announced yesterday that its year-old six-second video service has changed its terms of service, targeting sexually explicit material, sex acts with people or objects, and all non-artistic nudity. The porn ban will go into effect immediately and comes on the heels of the rise of Twitter folk hero @VERSACEPOPTARTS, who famously filmed himself having sex with a series of pocket pastries including Hot Pockets and Pop Tarts and posted them to Vine. The chicken and cheddar broccoli fiasco might have won the young man universal acclaim across social media channels, but the Viner was banned immediately from the site. 

"For more than 99 percent of our users, this doesn’t really change anything. For the rest: we don’t have a problem with explicit sexual content on the Internet — we just prefer not to be the source of it," Vine explained in a blog post about the updated guidelines.

Of course, part of that 1 percent of dirty Vine posters are beloved porn stars, like James Deen, Jiz Lee, and Conner Habib, who have mastered the art of the GIF-like microvideo. In fact, one could argue that bite-sized clips were the perfect venue for humorous, realistic smut. Just take a look through Deen's Vine feed from the past year and you get a mixture of stuffed animals, early morning routines, AIDS tests, and yes, nude magic tricks. Porn stars have used the quick video site, much like Twitter and Instagram, as a way of connecting with fans and portraying a side of on-set life we'd never see without the digestible, playful clips.

So, we salute the Vine porn that has fallen. We'll just have to find a new venue for Jessie Andrews' bathtub hijinks.