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September 26, 2011
How Zooey Deschanel (Almost) Ruined My Sex Life
Or, "I Was A Teenage Manic Pixie Dream Girl."
By EJ Dickson
Some people blame their romantic failures on their parents, or on magazines that promote unhealthy body images, or on misogynistic rap lyrics. I blame Zooey Deschanel.
As one half of the indie band She & Him and star of the new FOX sitcom New Girl, Zooey Deschanel is the unofficial poster child for hip and quirky twenty-something white girls, who have shaggy bangs and tattoos of fruit on their ankles and a closet full of brightly colored, vintage cardigans. Unfortunately for these girls, however, Zooey Deschanel also serves as an object of lust for their boyfriends, sensitive neurotics who wear thick glasses, brew their own organic beer, and self-identify as feminists.
As a semi-quirky, semi-hip twenty-something white girl, I am contractually obligated to sleep with these men. Unfortunately, while they are my type, I am not theirs. In my experience, the guys who love Zooey Deschanel see their girlfriends as placeholders for the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope (MPDG). Due to her offbeat personality and her unabashed lust for life, the MPDG is usually an adorable cipher, a saucer-eyed gamine whose quirky hipness and hip quirkiness make men want to change their lives for the better.
Did they really think that this chick had depth and meaning because she had big blue eyes and Tweeted about mirrors?
Since appearing in films like Gigantic and (500) Days of Summer, Zooey Deschanel has come to represent the quintessential MPDG. As such, she is a menace to society, responsible for the unrealistic relationship expectations of twenty-something men and women alike.
The first time I came to this realization, I was watching The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with a guy I was hooking up with at the time, an aspiring artist whose favorite movie was Garden State. The second that Zooey Deschanel came on the screen, this otherwise jaded and reserved dude jolted forward and started spewing Petrarchan clichés about her hair and skin and eyes. I rolled my eyes as he loudly declared the turgidity of his penis, suddenly wondering how I was going to explain to my friends that I'd hooked up with someone whose favorite movie was Garden State.
After this relationship ended, I started hating Zooey Deschanel for other reasons as well. I hated her Hanes cotton ads, where she preened in front of a mirror while her pigeon-like warbling played in the background. I hated that her website was called Hello Giggles, and that she regularly posted Facebook status updates that said inane things about Muppets and baby animals and mirrors. And when I see her in the promos for New Girl — which describe her character as "adorkable" — I picture a bonfire of every flower and rainbow and Lisa Frank notebook I've ever seen.
But of course, these reasons were all secondary to why I really hated Zooey Deschanel: the nebbishy, bookish dudes I dated had no compunction about advertising how much they wanted to fuck her. Although I don't usually get jealous over my partners' crushes, it offended me that they thought their attraction to Zooey Deschanel was somehow higher-minded than wanting to fuck someone like Megan Fox, or Lindsay Lohan. Did they really think that this chick had depth and meaning because she had big blue eyes and tweeted about mirrors? Did they think that her vagina had magical, restorative powers that would make them want to live life to the fullest?
No girl on the planet can ever be like that, even if they cut their own hair and post pictures of their feet on Tumblr.
I knew, of course, that I couldn't compete with Zooey Deschanel — or her magic vagina — on any real level, because the whole point of MPDGs is that they're DGs; no girl on the planet can ever be like that, even if they cut their own hair and post pictures of their feet on Tumblr. But when you first start dating, and everything you know about relationships comes from romantic comedies, not being like Zooey Deschanel didn't stop me from trying. It's embarrassing to admit now, but I wanted to be worshipped for my uniqueness and lusted after for my adorkableness; I wanted to be the girl who made sensitive neurotics want to change their lives.
So I modeled myself after an MPDG by doing the kind of weird, inexplicable shit that I saw make Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Paul Dano go jelly-kneed. By wearing mouse ears in public, or leaving little notes in books I lent to guys I was interested in, or going out in thunderstorms and dancing in the rain, I was sure that I would prove irresistibly sexy to guys who were attracted to my random arsenal of quirks.
Commentarium (232 Comments)
More pictures please.
Jesus Christ, I know exactly where you are with this. Though, as unfortunate as it is, I do wear thick rimmed glasses, cardigans, and listen to 80's hits (including The Smiths). However! I can honestly say I've never "tweeted" pseudo-indie thoughts in order to make me seem eccentric, hip, or even enlightening. Actually, that shit is for the birds. I just wish more people would have the same view about her as we do.
God, this was really dull other than the bizarre fixation with Zooey Deschanel. Basically, when you were in your late teens/early 20's you had affectations that you thought would help with your overwhelming desire to seem interesting and mature, but upon retrospect some of it was pretty embarrassing. That's more or less the universal teen experience. Add to that the "I no longer hold her accountable for any of my relationship fails" line, and the one interesting factor of the piece (the obsession with Zooey Deschanel) was stripped away, and it felt even more like a waste of time.
Check, mate.
agreed.
Do you have nothing better to do than bitch about the article you just read?
Seriously…. I enjoyed reading about the "universal teen experience."
Ah, I never understand complaints like that. Writing out my comment took significantly less time than reading the article, and I think I'm well within my rights to critique it. If you have a problem with my actual points, I'd love to hear it. I stand by what I wrote--this is devoid of anything unique or special outside of the Zooey Deschanel hook, which is made completely toothless by that last line. Do you really have nothing better to do than defend every piece of mediocre writing on the Internet?
+10 Internets to you, sir.
Absolute rubbish of an article. Waste of my time.
This article seemed to be one girl morosely declaring that she was insecure. Seems to me that the common denominator is not Zooey, but the author. Boring, too many "big" words used to seem intelligent and overall I skimmed the bulk of it, hoping for some redeeming quality at the end only to find none.
Criticising the girl who is criticising herself for idolising Zooey Deschanel puts you atop the meta pyramid of dickery. I suppose what's important is that you've found a way to feel superior; go you!
yay for putting people down!
Most people fawn over pandas, but Mother Nature wants them out. You know that they can only eat one type of bamboo? She must have gone off her anti-psychotics the day she decided to plop those adorable unfortunates on to the ground. Also, I love that one of the most awesome and level-headed comments on this posting was put there by someone called "highhorse".
Wow, she does look like Kate Perry, sort of.
Yeah, I never really 'got' Katy Perry until I saw her on TV. She just comes alive.
I don't really get the tone of the post. Should I write a follow up post about how I don't look like James Bond even though I'm a man in my 30s?
Hah, yeah I don't really understand what this was supposed to say.
"As a twenty-something I tried to fake my way through relationships - it didn't work." This is exactly the same as people trying to become stupidly thin or pretending to like video games or football. The reason it didn't work is because it's not YOU.
It also makes me wonder if this writer even watched 300 days of summer all the way through because her realisation that "being worshipped isn't really that great" was built into Zooey's character in the first place.
I don't know: blaming celebrities because you're unhappy in love and then forgiving them when you find someone? That seems petty.
Hey, 'nope', if it was such a waste of time, why did you read every word and then post a nice long reply?
In any case, whatever he thinks, I enjoyed it, and am glad to hear that both you and your boyfriends are a whole lot more mature than before.
god forbid anyone give more than a half-assed effort into reading something before making a comment about it!
he wasn't even saying that the article was such a waste of time. he was implying that falling into the MPDG ideal was a waste of time. i guess reading his comment was a waste of time for you?
this article is quite refreshing, it does remind us that these "ideal types" are nothing more than the result of good writing.
dd, I'd hardly say "good" writing. Good writing generally tries to avoid stereotypes or predictable character types.
I found this piece interesting, because I knew just what the author was talking about it. Sure, every generation has had their share of trying to be /something/ in order to impress the opposite sex. However, I find this MPDG thing both to be quite a new and real phenomenon in my experience, and especially complicated and contradictory compared to other archetypes.
1. As someone who is told often "gurl, you're a lot like Zooey Deschanel" by guys on the first date/people who meet me for the first time, I was personally invested in this article from the first word. Do I believe ZD and the Public Market Personality thereof has ruined my dating life with her dead-face acting and breathy voice? Hell yes. But do I find your piece persuasive, cohesive, or even believable? No. Not only does the end strip any meaning from the entirety of the piece like @nope stated, but the style of the piece as a whole seems disjointed, and disingenuous.
2. "As a semi-quirky, semi-hip twenty-something white girl, I am contractually obligated to sleep with these men." What the fuck? Contractually obligated by what, the "semi-quirky, semi-hip twenty-something white girl"'s own desire? And if so, is this statement supposed to be humorous as well? So the desire for men that you are attracted to is an obligation, that traps you forever in a sexual trade, and oh wait it's hilarious?
On a separate note:
I'm glad you are happier now than you were before, when you were trying out the MPDG role, and wish you much luck in the future. I apologize if this comment is super harsh, but I got a little riled I guess.
ha! the author writes an essay to get a weight off her chest & shares it with the whole world, and instead of finding like-minded folks who validate her experiences, she gets a critical reader who's also a self-confessed zooey deschanel lookalike. i'd be kinda bummed.
This isn't her journal. If you're going to publish writing you should be prepared for criticism.
Where did they say they were a look a like? 'Gurl you're a lot like' doesn't mean 'I look a lot like'.
@qe IF you think you should be that precious with your writing, then I sincerely hope you never let your diary see the light of day.
This article really hit home for me. I've had a love/hate relationship with Zooey since Almost Famous.
She was so great in Almost Famous... it's been all downhill.
Also just an extra note. You should watch Zooey in the film Eulogy. She doesn't act or look like an indie, pixie goddess and her character is a normal person who never really discusses rainbows or kittens.
This is like the story of my fucking life.
What I don't understand is why there ever need a reason to sing Hall & Oates.
Blasphemy!
Really, it has nothing to do with Zooey. You're just not that hot.
Are you a 14 year-old girl, or do you just sound like one?
Things I learned from my first 60 days reading Nerve:
Nerve hates anyone who is prettier and more famous than them.
I used to be pretty. Prettier than you! But then I met your no-good father...
or that Nerve features thought pieces by people who are insecure just like people that complain on comment boards. and that insecure people sometimes get frustrated with people who are prettier and more famous than them.
i love zooey
This article is hilarious! It's well-written with just the right amount of intelligent sarcasm thrown in...LOVE!
Oh, and some of the above people should take a douche-sized chill pill and realise that not every word should be read literally.
irony
Amen
lol passive agressive
someone should really teach you hipsters what irony is. but then you'd have to pay attention in class, wouldn't you?
an organization of a work (in this case, the post) that gives full expression to contradictory impulses or attitudes.
ABC on the one hand insists that everyone who didnt like the article should just relax and not take thing so seriously. In order to accomplish get that point across, (s)he ends up taking herself quite seriously, claiming that everyone needs to take a "douche-sized chill pill" and not read into things so literally. ABC's explicit message is not in line with the implicit one (communicated through word choice).
Asshole.
Shut up.
stirring rebuttal
big words = correct. Right? At least I think that's how it works, right def?
def internet pwnd.
I honestly can't stand a grown ass woman being sold to us as a "cute little girl."
Can I get a witness!
A-men!
Let me guess, you let feminism decide what the personality of a grown woman should be, didn't you? She can't be taken seriously unless she "grows up" and acts like a demure, boring, straight faced "grown woman" at all times. How lame. God forbid someone over the age of fifteen be allowed to have some freaking fun in their lives, and be at least remotely interesting.
And she's not being "sold to us as a 'cute little girl.'" She's being herself. And the last time I checked, that was still allowed in America.
OHMYGOSH, if you honestly think any celebrity persona is just them 'being theirselves,' you are out of your mind. Deschanel is a brand. Her MPDG persona is not real, it is a marketing device. That's kind of what the article was about.
Where the fuck did you get your ideas about what "feminism" is about? Did you fucking skim the watery columns on bitch magazine or did you just listen to too much glenn beck or what?
This is coming from someone who's been a women's studies TA (and is now in middle management, bizarre as it sounds). I could tell you about Greer and Hooks, and just how fucking stupid your every second poster and their cousin's impression of gender inequality, what can be done about it, and ideas related to that is. Learn what you're talking about before you run your mouth.
Above=Pwnage.
Why would anyone in their sane mind watch '(500) days of summer' and think "I want a dude to feel the same way about me as he did about her in that movie". That movie creeped me out massively.
An insecure loser that's who.
It's one of my all-time least favorite movies
'500 Days of Summer' was a great movie, in that it portrayed a complicated relationship between two people more realistically than most movies. And I think we've ALL witnessed guys we care about feeling that way about a girl, albeit nearly always one who is unattainable for them.
The problem wasn't that she was attainable. The problem was that the guy should have realized right away how emotionally remote she was.
Yeah Wossamotta has it. It's a perfect illustration of that old Proustian saw of loving someone more for being an object than a subject. JGL was such a pussy that any girl who showed him attention was bound to end up being his personal golden goddess, despite Zooey being ultimately unattainable for reasons of her own. If the film had looked at these two archetypes witheringly and honestly, then we'd have had something, but it goes out of its way to paint Zooey as a heartless bitch and JGL as a wronged innocent. There's no critical distance at all, and you can tell everyone involved really thinks they're depicting the ultimate romantic tragedy here. The only people who love this movie are sensitive neurotics with no dating experience and girls who have been made to feel guilty for stepping on said neurotics' pitifully exposed hearts.
LOL Myke! Way to stereotype! I love that movie and I'm a happily married woman, with no dating or relational issues whatsoever.
So watching Zooey Deshanel movies make you feel like every guy feels after having to watch 'The Notebook' with his girlfriend - a brief feeling of 'fuck, I can't live up to that,' followed by the realization that the character's behavior would actually be crazy awkward and off-putting in real life. Congrats?
Yes. But it's more than that. It's the (very prevalent) hipster phenomenon of Zooey Deschanel representing some sort of ideal girlfriend, which is no less shallow than the swoonings over The Notebook and Titanic. Hipsters just like to pretend that their preoccupations and obsessions are much more noble than those of "the masses". What the author is getting at here is how sensitive (male) neurotics are just as susceptible to romantic abstractions as young teenage girls are, except with a few extra dollops of self-righteousness and -justification. Which is far more insufferable than the romantic yearnings of developing young girls, but much less rarely called out because too many hipster girls are privately wishing they could be as universally desirable as Zooey Deschanel paints herself as being.
amen.
"...which is no less shallow than the swoonings over The Notebook and Titanic." So it's not more than that. It's the same as that. So you agree with 'big deal,' but felt the need to re-state his argument using more convoluted language.
OP can't live up to a depressed Ryan Gosling?!
Thank you dude for pointing out a small inconsistency in my phrasing (which, actually, does not mean what you think it means. The concept is the same but the degree to which it is expressed is worse). I'll never again waste your valuable time.
Zooey wasn't in Garden State -- that was Natalie Portman.
Nice reading comprehension skills.
True, but who needs facts when you can get another week's mileage out of hating Zooey?
The author knows it wasn't Zooey. She was throwing that bit in to show that just like all of Zooey's roles, Natalie Portman is Zach Braff's MPDG in Garden State. And I know exactly what she means. Garden State was my favorite movie when I was 17, but by the time I was about 19 and got my heart broken by an annoying California girl, I realized how stupid it was and how stupid I was when I liked it so much.
She's name-checking Garden State because the phrase "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" was created during a NPR review of the film. Also as a lazy shorthand description of the person she was with, rather than actually getting to know him as a person.
Oops, my bad. It was for another horrible film, "Elizabethtown." Second sentence still applies tho.
It was actually the A.V. Club's Nathan Rabin.
...it was avclub. Props to Rabin for identifying the trope and coining the meme... I had no idea it had life beyond avclub (even the above-referenced wikipedia page).
love the rampant use of the word "adorkable"
Oh my god this fits my life exactly. I've dated two musicians now who were constantly telling me how in love they were with Zooey. And I hate her.
I used to have a special place near my heart for girls like Zooey... but now I just keep a crossbow by the door and 24/hr surveillance cameras.
"It's embarrassing to admit now, but I wanted to be worshiped for my uniqueness and lusted after for my adorkableness; I wanted to be the girl who made sensitive neurotics want to change their lives." This sounds like me, except without the embarrassed part.
pretty clearly tongue in cheek i thought (and hilarious)
Just a wild guess, but isn't it possible that "doing the kind of weird, inexplicable shit" failed because it was a contrivance? Quote-unquote quirky girls have been around since long before Zooey, or Amélie, or Beetlejuice or The Breakfast Club. With some of them, it feels like a natural outgrowth of who they are and how they see the world; with others, it feels like attention whoring. If you adopt a persona that doesn't make sense for you -- either in terms of your personality, or in terms of your appearance -- then most people are going to be put off, and you probably won't feel that great either.
Personally, I find ZD moderately attractive -- certainly more so than most female celebrities -- but no more than that. It's hard to argue with big eyes and clear skin, but she also communicates a combination of ingenuousness and sexual availability that most men find attractive. People like her are great in the short term, but usually flake out in the long term, and a cursory read of her website is enough to make it clear just how cloying this shit would get.
Still...in a world full of depressives and passive-aggressive neurotics and Jersey Shore rejects, someone who brings a childlike energy to her life, and who isn't afraid to do ridiculous things that makes her look like a total goofball, would be a nice thing to have...for a while, anyway.
(P.S. For extra fun, read that last paragraph in the Movie Guy voice)
Well said.
I pretty much feel that way after a single viewing of her show. It was vaguely appealing, but I can't imagine it being tolerable in the long-term...or even the
moderate" term.
I actually really like this assessment, AAC. As a former (and recovering!) sensitive neurotic, there's certainly a desire amongst my type for such childlike reverence and energy. The world's such a jaded an ugly place, to sensitive young men, these girls are like the last pocket of joy in the world. Of course, reality is much less romantic. These girls do tend to be cloying and unreliable, and we young lads tend to be depressed and obsessive in a way we often depict as heroically tragic, and the resultant relationships are, naturally, doomed to fail. Oil and gasoline, essentially. But it's a powerful and common attraction, and those who are less self-aware may spend their entire lives chasing MPDGs in hopes of returning to that adolescent sense of consuming infatuation. All the rest of us can do is continue to poke holes in the eminently appealing MPDG persona and convince the boys who idolize it that the real world (and the real women who populate it) are much more worth their time.
Now, THIS is a conversation worth having. :) Good on ye both, AAC and Myke. I DO agree that the flighty are often preferable to the gloomy.
Trying to do something to be liked (despite its not being genuine) won't make you liked. It just makes you a hipster.
boy, you're on a roll, aren't you?
most people have done things purely in hopes of being liked, since the beginning of pop-culture, at least. the "hipster" as you and people like you are so fond of bringing up and complaining about, doesn't actually exist. it's just a cultural bogeyman for you to hang all of your insecurities and dissatisfaction on. get a life.
let me help you out. look around. you should be able to find a bunch of effete posers living with their parents and spending $400 on jackets to impress each other while they pretend to be poor. those would be hipsters.
The author should be more realistic about what relationships are. And also not blame famous people for her own neuroses and bad decisions.
I fucking hate the quirky shit that people try to do. If, for example, a girl calls herself "random" I read that as "irritatingly affected behaviour". While dancing in the rain has its place and time, it's not in the middle of a serious conversation. If we're at a museum, it's not okay to go opening random doors. That's not quirky or random, that's fucking trespassing.
This article doesn't coalesce the way the author wants, but I appreciate the points she's trying to make.
Fucking brilliant. Fuck Zoe.
I think you missed the point.
Forgot where I read this, on Nerve possibly?
"not in a Zooey Deschanel-wearing-a-sequined-American-flag-unitard-while-playing-the-tuba-in-a-empty-high-school-football-field way"
lolololol
This type of guy (I am one of them) inclines towards brooding and depression...that's why he needs the idea of the MPDG. Anyone who suffers with anything fantasizes about a possible antidote, whether it is in the form of another person or not. It may not be fair to the brooding, depressed, deep girl...but the last thing this guy needs is more weight in his life. As for "growing up"...it's a concept that is only of use to the non-depressed and conventional. To the depressed guy, the conventional, "grownup" life is death and utterly unworkable. He is constantly looking for a "third way" and the MPDG seems like a beacon to one.
Everyone really, really needs to get out of their 20s and understand how fucking retarded all of this is.
indeed.
Well yeah, definitely. The trouble is that not all of us are and this is about as dramatic as things get for us privileged little white people in our privileged little First World. The point of this article, or at least reading between the lines a bit, is actually about transcending this angsty little romantic hangup many of us have and moving onto real and fulfilling relationships. Then the real world begins.
Myke, if your life is so asinine and boring that the idea that real people aren't like movie characters is the most dramatic conclusion you've ever drawn, you need to get the fuck out more. If you are that sheltered it is nobody's fault but your own.
You're right, I decided before birth that I wanted nothing more than to be sheltered and spend the rest of my life assessing and re-assessing my situation. I don't exactly see what you're so pissy about, dude. I'm not claiming this situation is the centerpiece around which my life revolves; in fact I'm kinda saying I'd like to see more people move past this realization I (and the author) have made and do more productive things with their life. Believe it or not, I do things in my life other than hunting the Internet to restate my experiences with and opinions of MPDGs. This article caught my eye and I'm adding to the discussion as someone who's a few years beyond this issue and glad to see other people moving on as well. I don't know what to tell you. Sorry you don't feel like this is a legitimate problem. I agree it's pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but for this author who seems to have structured her life around the ZD-approved style of seduction, it sure mattered a lot.
And if you really need me to justify this all on the macro level, romantic delusions are a hell of a problem for (first world, I admit) people seeking love, happiness, and human connection in their life. This is just one of many ways people hinder themselves. But please, carry on with your righteous indignation about self-analysis and pop culture influence.
I thought this article was hilarious and well written!
I get it, and I can't seem to understand why this piece is getting so much hate. It was honest and funny, sardonic when it needed to be and a lot of women will be able to relate. The more exposed ZD has become the more angry I become with her "cutesy" personality. For fucks sake, she's making a Christmas album. "a very she & him Christmas" which if the title doesn't make you want to stick needles in your ewe drums, only assume her breathy bird like voice will.
Whoa, the author and apparently a lot of other people here are giving a random celebrity way too much power here. I'm guessing that neither the author nor anyone commenting here has ever even met Ms. Deschanel (at least not in a more than "hey, you're ZD!" kind of way) or knows her personally. Therefore, whatever traits or personality you imagine her to have is exactly that -- your imagination. Whether it's your own inference or something she has consciously cultivated through her public image management, whatever and whoever you imagine her to be is pure projection and conjecture. It isn't real. Remember the guy having the phone relationship who wrote to Miss Info, and people pointed out that he only knew her "ambassador" and his own idealized version of her since they had never met? Yeah, a bit like that.
I get that the author has perceived a certain phenomenon in her love life among the guys she dates and is trying to say how ZD embodies the ideal that they want that she feels she falls short of in comparison. News flash: guys dig hot chicks -- even sensitive hipster guys. No profound revelations here. Sub in Megan Fox for ZD, and you'll realize how run-of-the-mill and ridiculous this sounds.
Stop fixating on a random person you've never met who isn't real, and start living your life in front of you, which is real. You'll enjoy it more, feel less insecure, and be able to get more to the heart of your relationships, since you'll no longer be attributing all of their shortcomings to a celebrity.
It's clear from the 3rd paragraph of your comment that you did not read to the end of the essay. And it's not Zooey herself who's under attack here, it's the MPDG ideal that she (with, I presume, the assistance of her management team) self-consciously plays up and embodies. The point is not that the author doesn't get that all guys dig hot famous chicks, or that Zooey is evil, the point is that this MPDG trope creates some silly and unrealistic expectations for men and women alike. You may think that it's stupid that the author internalized these tropes as much as she says she did, but you can't deny that they exist and are prevalent in movies/Tv shows' depictions of modern relationships.
I used to date women like Zooey. I liked it a lot, but the relationships ended always in drama.
Now i prefer more serious women.
The only thing i blame Zooey for is that she did a very bad move in trying to be part of a 30 minutes comedy series....
Zooey Deschanel is as fun as a unicorn without a horn... or a pegasus without wings. Then it's just a horse then it like.... just "ok".
I'd pay money to see Z D get really excited about something, like stark raving mad or really swept up in a fervor. She's pretty enough that I'll look, but she tends to skate through her high stakes scenes. I get the feeling that she's distant from passionate emotions
You're a genius. I hope you grow up to be a swan.
Huh? Yeah, cool story...
By the way, Zooey Deschanel is Hot.
Years ago I wanted to be the MPDG myself, which also screwed me over big time. Thanks for posting this.
ugh I have a friend who Loves the adorkable Zooey D. She is the hipster superstar savior.
she annoys me. I hate the way she talks. You are not a woman if you dress like you're 10 in flowery sundress and bah like sheep to follow the hipster herd.
You are not unique if you try to adopt the following into your life:
Urban outfitters
Anything with an owl on it
hating the summer because you can't where your stockings
believe Arcade Fire is the best thing since the Beatles - shame on you.
Own a pair of "Buddy Holly" looking glasses ESPECIALLY when you pop out the glass - that look is fucking stupid and a poor attempt at "irony"
You think you discovered LPs
Your apt looks like a vintage crap store. same for your closet
You are music snob.
PBR
I can go on but those are the main points. GTFO of here, you are in no way unique.
I believe the "hip" in hipster/hippie is for "hippocrite".
Now I am imagining that you live in a community of owl-wearing, vinyl-loving, thrifty hippos.
You really need to swallow a bottle of chill pills please.
1. A woman is allowed to be whatever she pleases. If a woman decides she wants to wear floral dresses and be fun and sunny and not to serious all of the time, then she can. If she's being herself, she's being a woman. PERIOD. Feminism has really ruined femininity hasn't it?? Such a shame.
2. TRYING to be unique, and actually being unique are different. You can wear Urban Outfitters and like owls and vintage tea sets and be unique. If you like those things for the simple fact that you think they will make you unique, then you're being a "hipster" or a "poser." Plain and simple.
3. The Beatles suck.
4. You need to swallow another bottle of chill pills and color some Disney Princesses in a coloring book. Then eat some cake. Maybe then you'll feel better about yourself enough to let others be, and not care, or let it affect you.
That is all.
Where did point 1 play in to what he said at all? I'm guessing you're OHMYGOSH from above. I apologize to your misguided sense of victimization, but no one is criticizing Deschanel because she is too girlish. She is being criticized for propagating the misguided notion that it is cute to have a bunch of affected quirks instead of just being who you are, not because she wears floral dresses or is not 'serious.' It's about being honest and accepting of yourself, instead of trying to be someone you're not. You made it the exact opposite, somehow.
You can't make me stop liking owls! And I need these dark rimmed glasses to see. And "Ready to Start" is an awesome song and the jewelry at Urban Outfitters is really cute!
Did ZD once shoot down an editor at Nerve or something? This hate-obsession is getting old already.
yep. Sniper rifle. happened last month.
500 days of summer came out in 2009. If the author has been in a relationship for 3 years, all her issues with trying to be quirky to please guys was before that, and as such, can't possibly be Deshanel's fault. I mean, the "adorkable" campaign and Hello Giggles are both in the last year. The timeline of this article just makes no sense.
I was thinking this, too!
From the end of the article:
"But it still would be nice to see her in a movie where she plays someone quirky without being brain-dead, or dorky without being adorkable."
Did the author see "Elf"? Zooey was the uptight, non-dorky sales clerk that "adorkable" Will Ferrell falls for.
Yeah but, she also sings "Baby It's Cold Outside" in the shower in that movie.
@Ed: Continuing, and responding to a bunch of other people (and the author's) assumptions about New Girl, it's actually about the fact that Zooey's MPDG quirks are obnoxious and off-putting to guys, not that she is a magnet for them. It's a bad show on its own merits -- primarily its tragic unfunniness -- but the ones that you are all sighting isn't one of them. If anything, the show has the potential to be a clever critique of the MPDG image Deschanel's adopted.
sorry, but having just seen the pilot for "new girl," theres really nothing critical or subversive about it. zooey's MPDG quirks (such as singing out loud and weeping uncontrollably during "Dirty Dancing") may be obnoxious and off-putting to her male roommates and the dude she tries to get with, but the joke is less on her than it is on the shallowness and obnoxiousness of these guys (in the case of dirty dancing, it's more about "OMG dudez just don't get wimmenz and chick flix"). either way, the writing is so bad and her character is so poorly developed that even if these guys aren't immediately entranced by her, she's still just the sum of her quirks.
also, after she's been stood up towars the end of the ep, her roommates leave a crazy party to go home and support her, thus learning a Major Life Lesson (i.e. that friendship is more important than getting drunk and hooking up with chicks), which is one of the most prominent aspects of the MPDG trope. it's also implied that one of her male roommates (the sensitive bartender getting over a breakup) is gonna serve as a major romantic interest later in the season, so he's clearly not as repelled by her quirks as her other doofy roommates.
The show suffers a lot from structural issues, lack of plot, stilted character development, an overwhelming sense of contrivance, etc. However it does seem to be trying to show that the very MPDG quirks are annoying and off-putting in real life, but that underneath that she's actually a nice, decent, person - just like Schmidt is beneath the douchbaggery, and Coach is (was, at this point I suppose) beneath the…uh, trying to shout things into working. So its sorta an attempt to humanise the MPDG and the bros. Or something.
I'm probably over-thinking this - it's still a pretty badly written show, but it'd be better if people criticised in on those terms rather than attacking ZD for what they think she represents.
Somewhere Zooey Deschanel is having a panic attack brought on by the creeping suspicion that she is over.
I personally adore Zooey for giving girls like myself feel that being that quintessential MPDG girl isn't all that bad. I don't need my breasts or behind hanging out of my clothes to receive acknowlegement...I'm weird and quirky and proud of it So thumbs up to our girl Zooey..but maybe she took it too far marrying indie rock god Ben Gibbard from Death Cab for Cutie. Just kidding :p
wow, lotsa zooey talk. i don't even care.
I'm sure Zooey feels the same way!
quite possible.
From the guy's perspective
http://sushiinutah.wordpress.com/2011/09/16/fuck-you-zooey-deschanel/
i always confuse zooey deschanel and chloe sevigny. which one was in "i love you beth cooper"?
I would assume Deschanel. Sevigny is blonde and primarily an actress, while I believe Deschanel is primarily a singer. Also, Sevigny usually picks really good independent movies, or at least interesting ones, while Deschanel (despite her 'indie darling' rep) never really did the indie circuits.
That's Hayden Panettiere in Beth Cooper. Chloe Sevigny is an indie film actress demi-god (The Brown Bunny, Boys Don't Cry) and the kind of girl I would actually like to meet in real life. Zooey can stay right up on the TV screen where she belongs.
So, this article is pointless, basically.
This was also called "zany", and it's not new. In the 50' Dobie Gillis was totally blown away by beatnick Zelda. There was "My Girl" (Marlo Thomas). Musicians Jony Mitchell and Janice Joplin were awesome. And are people old enough to remember SNL's Lisa Radner?
This was a well-written, entertaining, and refreshing piece, and yes, a bit zany in and of itself.
Poetic use of "contractually obligated" was great! Keep it up. Keep on writing what you want.
There are many of my former selves out there that should and will love you up!
Don't try hard. Do try hard. Both work!
LuvEm.......do you mean SNL's Gilda Radner? Are YOU old enough to remember?
Maybe he meant Gilda Radner's Lisa Loopner...
Not that I'm old enough to remember, and I'm one of the older folks around these parts...
Agreed! Although I have only a few recollections of Gilda Radner playing the character Lisa Loopner, I am officially old enough. To remember, that is.
My pee-pee feels all.. boney!
SHES MINE! BACK OFF!
Someone in this article has issues and it's not Zooey Deschanel.
YES.
Totally agree.
To be honest I had no idea who this Zooey person even is, but the Ira Glass in drag comment did amuse me.
Not to mention she can't act, she's like a big gorgeous black hole
Jesus Christ, people sure love to get angry.
YOU MAD!
Ode to the days when quirkiness was a trait people disliked about themselves but eventually become comfortable living with. Quirkiness shouldn't be something you stride for. The world has become weirder by the second as I watch people attempt to be something they are not, something that you didn't want to be in the past. And besides that something that you couldn't force anyway. It's natural and the few that have it loath it, is what I'm saying people.
Seriously. I'm naturally a MPDG, but that's because I have a personality disorder.
Since I can't reply to the comment for whatever reason, here's the deal for "duh."
If you look around, you should be able to find a bunch of effete posers who insist on living with their parents so that they can afford to spend $400 on jackets to impress each other while they pretend to be poor despite half of them having trust funds. those would be the hipsters. and just like climate change, denying they exist doesn't make them go away.
You have really articulated the thing that has been nagging me about this Zooey chick. Nailed it, really. I think the Zooey adorkable/quirky persona gets used by girls to hide the fact they don't have an interesting personality.
I got bangs in 12th grade because I wanted to BE Zooey. Needless to say, they didn't work out. I understand where the author is coming from.
I guess now's a good time to add that there are two different girls this article concerns. You probably all knew this, but it's worth differentiating for the few that don't. There's the real deal MDPG, or what we think Zooey must be like in real life. There are people who don't even need to fake that persona because it comes that naturally to them. Then there are the girls who resentfully but dutifully create the persona from scratch, i.e. our author. The MPDG isn't always an affectation. Some people really do live it day in and day out. They're almost the sadder case, though, because at least the imitators (usually) learn to express their own relatively normal personality instead of inventing one. Real MPDGs don't have that option, and it's probably a pretty lonely road for them if you think about it. All they can do is bounce from guy to guy, following their whims wherever they may lead, and watch helplessly as they rack up a collection of disgruntled ex-lovers. All while looking for a lover who doesn't treat them as a goddess and burn out on his own illusion a few months in. I know we're here to sympathize with the girls who pretend to be MPDGs, but it can be just as alienating to be naturally beautiful and vivacious without ever asking for those 'gifts.'
Myke, you are my favorite person today.
:)
I was inspired by your comment about Proust to reread Swann in Love:
http://another-order.blogspot.com/2012/01/500-days-of-summerswann-in-lov...
How is Ethiopian food wrong or MPDG?! It's just plain awesome.
Such is the failure of this generation. Once, as a young and impressionable young person, when I was still dumb enough to hold actors and actresses in the light that they did not deserve; I thought Sigourney Weaver was quite the object of desire/emulation. She often played the roles of strong, confident women, and could actually act, unlike a great many of today's ilk. While I still admire and enjoy her as an actress, she is just that, an actress, a person paid for no other purpose than for our entertainment. The same goes for Zoey and while I might think she is somewhat cute in a vaguely animeish sort of way, the idea that this large eyed waif has so effected the behavior of part of a population (as evidenced within my own social circle and not just this article) is to me a further sign that our culture is hopelessly lost.
I enjoyed the essay. The easiest thing in the world is to only reveal the great parts of yourself. The writer took a chance and wittily disclosed her past foibles and over half the comment section shit its pants. I don't revere or loathe Zooey Deschanel, but I'd recommend the Miguel Arteta/Michael White film, The Good Girl, in which she was first acclaimed. Her performance is wonderfully droll and she more than holds her own w/ Jennifer Anistorn, John C. Reilly, Jake Gyllenhaal and Tim Blake Nelson.
Typo: I meant "Aniston", obviously.
I just wanted to say there are an awful lot of negative comments about this article so I just wanted to balance it out by saying it's beautifully written. You have a way with words, congratulations.
Awww I am a semi-hipster girl and i really like Zooey! i guess i know people who seem kinda like her and i kind of identify with her. I never saw 500 days but i can imagine it would make me understand since i hated natalie portman's character in Garden State. But playing that idealized character in a film doesn't mean that she IS that person. What about Kate Winslett in Eternal Sunshine? She also embodies that kind of character, though in a much more tolerable way. Anyway, the way I see it is that there are so many different ideals of women in media at this point, that it doesn't feel so important to fit into a specific one. Also, why all the hate on Zooey's voice? She is a good singer!
with all do respect, the issue is not that she sucks, the issue is that you are threatened by her. Witch is strange, because you will most likely never even be on the same freeway as her. Your trying to hard. stop trying to be someone your not. be you, not her.
I see you're using the old "ur just jellis!!!!" chestnut. Here's an idea: read to the end of the piece (and then learn to write as well) before you open your mouth and spew all over the comments section.
Ahhhh you really need to calm down. Spew is SUCH a ridiculous word. He was giving good, calm, peaceful advice.
*due
*which
*you're
*you're
(though I do agree with your sentinment
*sentiment :)
well! it seems my poorly written sentence, struck a nerve!
U mad?
Also, it's not Hunter Thompson who makes 20-somthing's want to become violent alcoholics, it's womenz.
Well then may you should watch "All The Real Girls"
I dug that movie. I am a little mystified about how strongly people feel about actors here. I just liked the movie because the actors acted well in it.
The men probably didn't flock to your "quirkiness" because you're insane and crazy, and not the fun kind. People can usually tell when other people are being fake, and they don't usually find that too attractive. I went out and played in the rain in college because it was fun and I legitimately liked it, not to try to impress some guy I was with, and I never had a problem getting (or keeping) a boyfriend.
It's all true. YOU ARE FUCKING NUTS.
BTW, did I mention I'm better than you?
So to save everyone's time, the moral of the story is to stop dating pussies that are obsessed with movie characters, stop trying to be something you're not to try and impress guys you like, and to not be a completely shallow asshole. the end.
This is a great, well written article. Its hilarious but has a lot of truth to it and speaks to a profound and real issue: trying to live up to these crazy ideals but maturing and realizing this is unattainable. Also, if you ever went to a liberal arts school these girls run rampant! Its the truth. Go whoever wrote this. Its spot on and made me laugh!
I agree. Very funny.
... gotta love those first world problems huh?
I don't normally like Internet acronyms, but: LOL, and FTW (in both senses).
I really enjoyed this. It's a shame that the people of reddit got wind of the article because, as you can see, they do not appreciate anything that doesn't have a meme at the end.
I found it particularly interesting because I have been thinking of Zooey deschanel as some magic dream girl for years, on the opposite side of the argument that you have made.
For that matter, I even manage to look over the fact that her new show is terrible and that I remember why I don't watch sitcoms, or tv for that matter.
I am currently in my early twenties and have been striving for the past year to make myself into what I have heard is the perfect, interesting guy.
When you point it out like this, perhaps it isn't the girls that I choose, but my own ideals of "love" that are in error.
In short, thank you for the fun article.
I'm pretty sure ZD isn't in Garden State. Your ex was smitten with Natalie Portman.
Umm, the MPDG trope started waaaay before Zooey Deschanel. I remember being attracted to/knowing girls who aspired to be that whole "I'm crazy but isn't that glamorous?" type throughout all of my teenage years. I distinctly remember every girl on Myspace quoting Edie Sedgewick, or something from Alice in Wonderland (because it's KOOKY!) and saying one of her favorite activities was dancing in the rain. I don't know when this idea started exactly. Perhaps with "Breakfast at Tiffany's."
I'd like to explore Zoey's Douchechannel
ZD type hipster girls really turn me on,I'd love to do a cute little indie HPOA with a couple of tattoos and piercings and big glasses and then smoke weed together on top of her roof in a shitty area of Brooklyn while listening to a band that sounds like a retard found a broken guitar, and she'd tell me all about this band that nobody has ever heard of, and then I'd have to kiss her just to make her shut up and the next morning I'd go straight into work at Goldman and shit on my boss' desk but then find out he's killed himself over the weekend because the economy sucks, so I'd feel bad for a minute but then I'll stop feeling bad because we're all laid off and the zombie apocalypse has just started.
Ira Glass in drag = way hotter than Z.D.
Zooey Deschanel is Amazingly awesome, and hot, and she would do someone after a bucket of chicken wings. She is also made into an ideal, as good actors are made into. Way to waste your life blaming an ideal that you yourself have made up.
What?
A lot of people without a sense of humor around here. Ironically the essay is...
...quirky.
This essay was amazing. I am so sick of being told I can only be desirable if I pull some "twee" shit with my appearance and randomly become an overgrown girl-child with a sizable vintage wardrobe even my great-grandmother would raise an eyebrow at.
I saw the cotton commercial last night and had a good laugh thinking about this.
I loved the article and could identify with it on many levels. My husband, and the four boyfriends before him, are OBSESSED with Zooey. Luckily my husband thinks her singing voice is one of the most annoying sounds he has ever heard. If I had to watch her TV, movies AND listen to her sing throughout our house, there would be issues.
I guess since Zooey has "gone mainstream" and is no longer the darling of Nerve hipsters, they're going to publish articles crapping on her.
Dear Nerve: I only like you for your movie and music recommendations. Does anyone over thirty care about the articles about dating/sex? Maybe I'm just too old for you...
step one: choose to idolize someone, step two: find that their methods don't work well for you, step three: choose to do something else.
i guess if this article helps people skip steps one and two, then it's somehow valuable.
The only problem I come across is that sensitive young lads only want these MPDG types if they come in tiny white girl form. I like to think that I've gotten the "growing up, not growing old" thing down pretty well..and all guys find it is cute in a very Little Sister way. Ah well.
It's fairly obvious this is humor. The social science/literary criticisms are sort of overkill. Why so literal? Also, the big werds = pretense line is tired. Like the 2-chord punk rocker who insists he could shred but is too 'real' and 'authentic.' You just need to practice some scales. And fer fuck's sake, buy a dictionary.
ugh. this article was just pithy and cute and funny until all you assholes started picking it apart. Good grief. It's just a stupid little article about this girl realizing that you shouldn't act like a bizarre flake pseudo-nerd to get laid NOT THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS, PEOPLE.
Oh- and FYI- ALL vaginas have magical restorative powers that (ideally) make us want to live life to the fullest.
Oh Christ. I know this was meant to be humorous, but honestly. Don't blame Zooey. Blame yourself for trying to be something you're not.
I'm tired of women who automatically see other attractive women as competition. I'm a young woman, perfectly secure in myself and my own sex appeal, and I find Zooey Deschanel captivating. And it doesn't bother me one bit that my husband does too. Pardon the expression, but nut up, honey.
Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Honestly, that was all that was. The content could have been put into a paragraph but no, it went on and on and on and on and on.
All of the dickhead comments about the boring, non-uniqueness of the article make me hate hipsters even more, and I did not believe that to be possible. Poor, anchor-less, angry little things. Thanks, Dear Author, for voicing some of the complicated, difficult-to-state problems with masculine-birthed archetypal female roles. MPDGs aren't new--Eve was one. That shit is Biblical. And if you fools think that three sentences of inchoate disagreement and indignant rebuttal can erase such a history... well, it's good to want things, I guess.
Am I the only one that read this and wanted to ask out the author?
I actually know the author and she isbvery attractive if your into the Jewish loo
We should spend our time critiquing actual journalism and literature instead of light puff-pieces like this one. This is just supposed to be a fun rant. I think it works on that level. She comes from an academic background, let's not judge too harshly for her use of vocabulary. It's hard to quit that shit. :)
This struck a chord with me. Love/hate relationship with Zooey all the way. I'm choosing to ignore the comments. Appreciate the article. If only our juvenile relationships weren't subconsciously based on damn romantic comedies (: thanks anyway!
The author is right, but only about her dating loser guys she shouldn't be dating. Every guy I've met who is obsessed with Zooey Deschanel also only wears hoodies and crusty khaki shorts and pretends to like things that aren't really good at all just bc they want to be quirky.
Personally, I can see that ZD is a very good looking woman. But she's kind of a one-trick pony as far as her acting. Unless she is doing her Strawberry-Shortcake-Life-is-a-Pink-Party BS, she's quite forgettable.
Example: that M. Night Shylamadamadingdong movie with Marky Mark. ZD looked/talked like she was having a stroke the whole movie. Unless she's wearing a bright dress with puffy shoulders and is dancing while eating a candy cane (or floating on a cloud or some shit) she really doesn't know what the hell is going on.
But then again, with regard to all the actors I drool over -- I can assure you it ain't because I think they're charming or intellectual. It's because I think they're hot and I would make love to them even if I had to wear ear plugs to block out how annoying and self-absorbed they are. I'm talking to you, Justin Theroux. That's right, Jen Aniston -- I saw him first.
Back to my point -- you can tell a lot about a guy based on who his favorite actress is. And most guys who love ZD are the same ones who will never grow up and will ALWAYS have smelly feet.
said it before and i'll say it again: death to this twee bullshit.
Zooey doesn't eat chicken wings because she is a vegan, er. Just learn how to build/ride a fixie and par francais ! ..most fans of zooey also j'adore Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain.
I thought reading this article was interesting to say the least. I mean I never had that need to be someone Im not especially for sex, however I could relate to the wishing that the guys I dated wouldn't compare me to these stars. I personally adore Zoey, because she is herself and that is very cute and comforting to know that we can all be ourselves. However I would never base my personality on her. Hating her seems pointless, because the image she gives is not the image of the ideal woman or the MPDg, but the image of being comfortable in your skin.
We're all trying to fit in to this world. Most of the time we're trying hard not to be ourselves. I mean, who the hell wants to NOT fit in? Even Goths want love and happiness and for it to rain all the time while Depeche Mode is playing softly in the background.
The writer is just a girl who loves, hates, and accepts all of the formalities of dating and growing up. Finding out what works, and what doesn't. Is she serious? Is she giving us a "wink, wink" like she knows Zooey Deeshanel is not the end all, be all of what guys want?
I'm a little bit older than twenty-somethings (just left the world of thirty-somethings). Do I know what I'm talking about? My parents always said, "just be yourself". I did and I was a virgin until I was 22.
I love this article so much. Zooey Deschanel is so narcissistic and obsessed with herself, and watching her on 'New Girl' is revolting. The entire show is revolved around her, and I could not stand watching it anymore when her own breathy music came on in the background as the soundtrack. Her tumblr is horrible too; it's just her posting pictures of herself. UGH! It reminds me of what Janice says to Cady in 'Mean Girls' (yes, I know I'm going to bashed for making a 'Mean Girls' reference, but whatever. It makes sense): "God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean. You try to act like you're so innocent.Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africawith all the little birdies and the little monkeys." Zooey acts like she is so effing innocent and cute and hip, and it's like, seriously, just shut up. I'm sick of you.
I read this article and then I got my hopes up that the author really does look like Ira Glass in drag, but then I found her twitter and she's way too feminine and I was kind of disappointed.
Fuck hipsters.
Wow, people write such mean responses to pretty harmless articles on the interweb. I actually enjoyed this 'journal entry'. I bet some women (including The Other Woman/mistresses) do the Damsel In Distress thing and some do the Manic Pixie thing to lure men like sirens calling out to lost ships. It's a pretty seductive illusion. I actually have a bit of a girl crush on the onscreen Zooey -- don't know anything about her in real life -- but i think my boyfriend might be completely in love with her and believe the 500 Days Of Summer Zooey is real... which maybe she is... but which is also kind of a bummer because i definitely can't live up to the doe-eyed, quirky girl fantasy. Or Marilyn Monroe either :) Sure I didn't get the camera-ready drop dead gorgeous genetics (pout)... but maybe it's my own failing on a Personality level. Maybe I SHOULD make him believe he can catch unicorns in the forest and start a band. Anyway, I feel badly the writer has such mean comments, I thought this article was interesting and insightful and didn't deserve to be drawn and quartered. But hey, thats just my nameless, faceless opinion. :)
The article above has just made me have a string of revelations about my psyche, and the reason behind every crush I've ever had. Thank-you. I feel set free! FREE!
I'd put ZD films and all that general schtick at the same level as Catcher in the Rye, Communism, drinking 20/20 and skateboarding; if you've never been into any of them by the time you're 18, you've got no heart, and if you're still into them when you're 25, you've got no brain. At 32, watching 500 Days of Summer was like watching an exagerrated dramatisation of numerous situations I watched some of my male friends go through 10 years ago. Being unattractive myself, I was uniquely positioned, as their friend, to provide living ecidence that they didn't 'love' these MPDGs because of their quirkiness, they 'loved' them because they were hot looking. When the latest MPDG did the 1997 equivalent of shouting ''penis'' in the park, it was adorable, when I did it it my friends laughed uncomfortably to try and drown out the sound of strangers shouting back ''shut up fat girl.'' They just think they extra-like these girls because they have this bizarrely misogynistic expectation that attractive girls should automatically be bitches, or like crap music and be boring, or all 3, so when they aren't it supposedly represents some kind of jackpot. Obviously this is why this shit only happens to very young men, because by the time they get to 25, as long as they don't live in a cave or Coventry, they'll probably realise there are, in fact, more than 1 women like this out there.
Anyway, to any girls still getting pissed off about their boyfriends swooning over ZD; simple solution, get some Tom Hardy films out! I assure you, you already bear more resembelance to ZD than your man ever, ever could to Tom, believe me, the man is his own species.
Dreadful. Waste of time.
You hooked up with a guy whose favorite movie was Garden State? I'm shocked you've had relationship trouble.
Yeah.. It's so fucking false. It seems that all people do now is watch television. This Zooey Deschane is a fucking corporate puppet.
There's some kind of invisible force out there. It wants to make everyone the same. It wants everyone to want the same things, to not like the same things, to want to BUY the same things...
The male brain is not fully developed until the late twenties and that is just the physical part,...it still needs years to upload wisdom.
That said, Zooey is the bomb!
This article was poignant and amusing. Good job. Most people on here seem to be assholes who don't understand the subtle pleasures of sarcasm, facetiousness, or hyperbole. F* them.
Everything that you've always shared with has always been interesting more than it can ever been imagined. Thanks for all handwaterpump is also brilliant.
The trouble is that not all of us are and this is about as dramatic as things get for us privileged little white people in our privileged little First World. The point of this article, or at least reading between the lines a bit, is actually about transcending this angsty little romantic hangup many of us have and moving onto real and fulfilling relationships. Then the real world begins..Sam long..
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I actually found this article really intriguing especially the part about men somehow thinking their obsession with Zooey is beyond an obsession with Megan Fox. I roll my eyes every time one of my 'cool-n-hip' guy pals gush about Zooey or hear a random chick with dark hair and bangs claim she looks just like her. I suppose what is frustrating is that they think it is so beyond the typical Maxim babe crush that normal college bros have. It's not. It's just another shallow lusting of a babe that has been turned into a magical character. Also, nothing is sexier than challenging your man to a chicken wing eating contest.
I googled 'Zooey Deschanel's fanny' and this website came up. It made me laugh. I thought I'd share this.
You're an idiot
Maybe girls should stop hating girls. Maybe we should accept everyone for who they are. Zooey Deschanel is probably a nice person. MPDG is no more or less annoying than any other sexist stereotypes. Why would you hate on a random woman you know nothing?
zooey deschanel = absolutely stunning
you = pointless moron
everything i've always thought about the girl but was never able to articulate. spot on!
Evolution of my relationship with "The New Girl:"
1) Dread based on the commercials -"Holy fuck, does Zooey Deschanel need to be everywhere all the time?"
2) Fury and disbelief based on the pilot -"Why did someone make a sitcom about me and how dare it suck so badly?!?"
3) Simmering rage for the first few weeks of the show -"Boyfriend, please turn this horrid abomination off. I am trying to play the mandolin." "Bitch please! That is MY cardigan! Not yours! I found it at a Salvation Army in the middle of the woods, how did you even...ugh."
4) Reluctant acceptance of Zooey Deschanel - "yes, I have seen that show. yes, she also sings to herself a lot. yes, she certainly is cute."
5) Reluctant acceptance of my own MPDG personality. I don't care if I'm so sweet and nice that you think it's fake; I'm a (reasonably effective) therapeutic solution for clinical depression and I have an awful lot of friends because of that.
as i am well into my 30's my viewpoint of this particular "article" will be somewhat skewed from popular culture. i think what the author has failed to recognize is that ms. deschanel is in fact an actress & entertainer, and perhaps, a lot of her persona may be created in order to develop her career. i don't recall ever blaming any specific actress for my insecurities. i grew up with similarly "quirky" interests, making my own clothes, collecting vintage, bringing home stray animals...etc. i still love these things. what i guess i'm trying to say is that, unfortunately, teen age girls will usually feel inadequate, ugly etc..but atleast, nowadays, it's considered sexy to be a little strange and unconventional..at the age of 16 i remember donning my grandmothers wrap dresses when everyone had a boner for pamela anderson in her french cut red bathing suit, or wearing my great grandfathers hounds tooth fedora to school only to be sneered at and called a "weirdo" or "lesbian", noone really considered any of that cute or endearing. anyway, all i'm trying to say is at least what's sexy now isn't necessarily for the purpose of being overtly sexual. honestly, hating someone for being adorable is kind of ridiculous. i don't really hate any celebrities, because i don't care, but if i'm going to have any detest for popular culture, the megan foxes of the world could definitely dissappear tomorrow and i would be just fine with that.
My attraction to Zooey started when I saw that movie with her and Jim Carey. She was adorable. I wondered, what it would be like to date a girl like her.
Then 3 years later, I was dating her, I mean her sister from another mother, her look-alike feel-alike dork-alike look-alike. When I first saw this girl, let's call her S, I thought S was Zooey, and I almost ignored S thinking, "I hate fame and I don't want to be seen around a celeb". I also noticed that S looked like Katy Perry. And S's clothing style was quirky too, and as it turned out, S was a fashion designer with a huge label.
The huge issue with S - her quirkiness had a deep hidden dark secret, of a selfish need to get everything done for her. S was a taker, never a giver, of anything - affection, kindness, caring, etc. The quirkiness reflected her need to be the center of attention, her need to feel special, her need to be taken care of as if she were a little child, her need to do and say whatever she wanted without adult critical thinking (after all, who's going to have critical thinking around a goo-goo-gaa-gaa gurgling cooing baby?).
Pure selfish need to be given everything while giving nothing. That's what quirkiness reflects. Yes, if Mother Teresa were quirky, I would see the mistake in my generalization. However, ever since I've had that year-long tolerant relationship with S, I recognize that I cannot be with any quirky women ever, for their selfishness which they hide behind that quirkiness sucks my blood dry in the most parasitic way while my mind is focused on their quirks.
No more! Good Riddance, Miss Zooey Deschanel and her look-alikes!
Now you say something