How Zooey Deschanel (Almost) Ruined My Sex Life

Or, "I Was A Teenage Manic Pixie Dream Girl."

By EJ Dickson

Some people blame their romantic failures on their parents, or on magazines that promote unhealthy body images, or on misogynistic rap lyrics. I blame Zooey Deschanel.

As one half of the indie band She & Him and star of the new FOX sitcom New Girl, Zooey Deschanel is the unofficial poster child for hip and quirky twenty-something white girls, who have shaggy bangs and tattoos of fruit on their ankles and a closet full of brightly colored, vintage cardigans. Unfortunately for these girls, however, Zooey Deschanel also serves as an object of lust for their boyfriends, sensitive neurotics who wear thick glasses, brew their own organic beer, and self-identify as feminists.  

As a semi-quirky, semi-hip twenty-something white girl, I am contractually obligated to sleep with these men. Unfortunately, while they are my type, I am not theirs. In my experience, the guys who love Zooey Deschanel see their girlfriends as placeholders for the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope (MPDG). Due to her offbeat personality and her unabashed lust for life, the MPDG is usually an adorable cipher, a saucer-eyed gamine whose quirky hipness and hip quirkiness make men want to change their lives for the better.

Did they really think that this chick had depth and meaning because she had big blue eyes and Tweeted about mirrors?

Since appearing in films like Gigantic and (500) Days of Summer, Zooey Deschanel has come to represent the quintessential MPDG. As such, she is a menace to society, responsible for the unrealistic relationship expectations of twenty-something men and women alike.

The first time I came to this realization, I was watching The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with a guy I was hooking up with at the time, an aspiring artist whose favorite movie was Garden State. The second that Zooey Deschanel came on the screen, this otherwise jaded and reserved dude jolted forward and started spewing Petrarchan clichés about her hair and skin and eyes. I rolled my eyes as he loudly declared the turgidity of his penis, suddenly wondering how I was going to explain to my friends that I'd hooked up with someone whose favorite movie was Garden State.

After this relationship ended, I started hating Zooey Deschanel for other reasons as well. I hated her Hanes cotton ads, where she preened in front of a mirror while her pigeon-like warbling played in the background. I hated that her website was called Hello Giggles, and that she regularly posted Facebook status updates that said inane things about Muppets and baby animals and mirrors. And when I see her in the promos for New Girl — which describe her character as "adorkable" — I picture a bonfire of every flower and rainbow and Lisa Frank notebook I've ever seen.  

But of course, these reasons were all secondary to why I really hated Zooey Deschanel: the nebbishy, bookish dudes I dated had no compunction about advertising how much they wanted to fuck her. Although I don't usually get jealous over my partners' crushes, it offended me that they thought their attraction to Zooey Deschanel was somehow higher-minded than wanting to fuck someone like Megan Fox, or Lindsay Lohan. Did they really think that this chick had depth and meaning because she had big blue eyes and tweeted about mirrors? Did they think that her vagina had magical, restorative powers that would make them want to live life to the fullest?  

No girl on the planet can ever be like that, even if they cut their own hair and post pictures of their feet on Tumblr.

I knew, of course, that I couldn't compete with Zooey Deschanel — or her magic vagina — on any real level, because the whole point of MPDGs is that they're DGs; no girl on the planet can ever be like that, even if they cut their own hair and post pictures of their feet on Tumblr. But when you first start dating, and everything you know about relationships comes from romantic comedies, not being like Zooey Deschanel didn't stop me from trying. It's embarrassing to admit now, but I wanted to be worshipped for my uniqueness and lusted after for my adorkableness; I wanted to be the girl who made sensitive neurotics want to change their lives.  

So I modeled myself after an MPDG by doing the kind of weird, inexplicable shit that I saw make Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Paul Dano go jelly-kneed. By wearing mouse ears in public, or leaving little notes in books I lent to guys I was interested in, or going out in thunderstorms and dancing in the rain, I was sure that I would prove irresistibly sexy to guys who were attracted to my random arsenal of quirks. 

Commentarium (282 Comments)

Sep 27 11 - 12:24am
BobbyBob

More pictures please.

Jan 12 12 - 2:37am
Mona Lisa

Jesus Christ, I know exactly where you are with this. Though, as unfortunate as it is, I do wear thick rimmed glasses, cardigans, and listen to 80's hits (including The Smiths). However! I can honestly say I've never "tweeted" pseudo-indie thoughts in order to make me seem eccentric, hip, or even enlightening. Actually, that shit is for the birds. I just wish more people would have the same view about her as we do.

Apr 01 12 - 11:56pm
Dominik Rex

You both care way too much about something that quite honestly makes no sense. Woman are like big business in the love market, they dominate it to the point that it feels oppressive even to buy into it. Confidence is what has you dazed and confused and its funny because its only your relative lack of confidence, because guys have to literally bullshit themselves into thinking they are worth anything when it is quite clear we are the throw away statistics that wars have ALWAYS painted us as in our gender role. More of us die over some other persons ideology and that's suppose to be a measure of the average man, one that is impossibly trying to the very core of us. We are genetically built to fight and die and women have the most godlike power to create life from mere cells, you should be so confident and proud guys worship you out of spite.

May 21 12 - 8:02pm
Amelia

Let me guess—MRA?

May 22 12 - 12:55pm
lp621nyc

Dominik, what you wrote is simply beautiful. Thank you.

Sep 27 11 - 12:35am
nope

God, this was really dull other than the bizarre fixation with Zooey Deschanel. Basically, when you were in your late teens/early 20's you had affectations that you thought would help with your overwhelming desire to seem interesting and mature, but upon retrospect some of it was pretty embarrassing. That's more or less the universal teen experience. Add to that the "I no longer hold her accountable for any of my relationship fails" line, and the one interesting factor of the piece (the obsession with Zooey Deschanel) was stripped away, and it felt even more like a waste of time.

Sep 27 11 - 12:38am
man

Check, mate.

Sep 27 11 - 10:42am
anon

agreed.

Sep 27 11 - 3:34pm
Really?

Do you have nothing better to do than bitch about the article you just read?

Sep 27 11 - 5:56pm
src

Seriously…. I enjoyed reading about the "universal teen experience."

Sep 27 11 - 7:21pm
nope

Ah, I never understand complaints like that. Writing out my comment took significantly less time than reading the article, and I think I'm well within my rights to critique it. If you have a problem with my actual points, I'd love to hear it. I stand by what I wrote--this is devoid of anything unique or special outside of the Zooey Deschanel hook, which is made completely toothless by that last line. Do you really have nothing better to do than defend every piece of mediocre writing on the Internet?

Sep 27 11 - 8:51pm
Boom.

+10 Internets to you, sir.

Sep 28 11 - 12:50am
Spot on.

Absolute rubbish of an article. Waste of my time.

Sep 28 11 - 5:20pm
Agreed.

This article seemed to be one girl morosely declaring that she was insecure. Seems to me that the common denominator is not Zooey, but the author. Boring, too many "big" words used to seem intelligent and overall I skimmed the bulk of it, hoping for some redeeming quality at the end only to find none.

Sep 30 11 - 9:39pm
highhorse

Criticising the girl who is criticising herself for idolising Zooey Deschanel puts you atop the meta pyramid of dickery. I suppose what's important is that you've found a way to feel superior; go you!

Oct 01 11 - 1:34pm
rachel

yay for putting people down!

Jan 25 12 - 1:10am
Pandaman

Most people fawn over pandas, but Mother Nature wants them out. You know that they can only eat one type of bamboo? She must have gone off her anti-psychotics the day she decided to plop those adorable unfortunates on to the ground. Also, I love that one of the most awesome and level-headed comments on this posting was put there by someone called "highhorse".

Mar 16 12 - 11:19am
HEY!

I liked Garden State...

May 16 12 - 9:58am
Mujima

I bet most of the people dissing the article are Zooey fanatics!

Jul 04 12 - 6:45am
... Really?

Mujima, stop trying to spread your paranoia.

Sep 27 11 - 12:36am
man

Wow, she does look like Kate Perry, sort of.

Sep 27 11 - 3:39pm
jinglebells

Yeah, I never really 'got' Katy Perry until I saw her on TV. She just comes alive.

I don't really get the tone of the post. Should I write a follow up post about how I don't look like James Bond even though I'm a man in my 30s?

Dec 03 11 - 8:23pm
White667

Hah, yeah I don't really understand what this was supposed to say.

"As a twenty-something I tried to fake my way through relationships - it didn't work." This is exactly the same as people trying to become stupidly thin or pretending to like video games or football. The reason it didn't work is because it's not YOU.

It also makes me wonder if this writer even watched 300 days of summer all the way through because her realisation that "being worshipped isn't really that great" was built into Zooey's character in the first place.

I don't know: blaming celebrities because you're unhappy in love and then forgiving them when you find someone? That seems petty.

Apr 13 12 - 6:09pm
Waste of time...

Definitely agree with White667... what a waste of time reading this article. I hope the author didn't get paid for this. The only time I can remember wishing I didn't waste my time like this was after I finished watching Cloverfield.

Sep 27 11 - 12:54am
dxtmeds

Hey, 'nope', if it was such a waste of time, why did you read every word and then post a nice long reply?

In any case, whatever he thinks, I enjoyed it, and am glad to hear that both you and your boyfriends are a whole lot more mature than before.

Sep 27 11 - 5:19pm
buttbandit

god forbid anyone give more than a half-assed effort into reading something before making a comment about it!

he wasn't even saying that the article was such a waste of time. he was implying that falling into the MPDG ideal was a waste of time. i guess reading his comment was a waste of time for you?

Sep 27 11 - 5:28pm
ddt

this article is quite refreshing, it does remind us that these "ideal types" are nothing more than the result of good writing.

Dec 03 11 - 8:26pm
White667

dd, I'd hardly say "good" writing. Good writing generally tries to avoid stereotypes or predictable character types.

Sep 27 11 - 1:20am
nn

I found this piece interesting, because I knew just what the author was talking about it. Sure, every generation has had their share of trying to be /something/ in order to impress the opposite sex. However, I find this MPDG thing both to be quite a new and real phenomenon in my experience, and especially complicated and contradictory compared to other archetypes.

Sep 27 11 - 1:35am
XOJ

1. As someone who is told often "gurl, you're a lot like Zooey Deschanel" by guys on the first date/people who meet me for the first time, I was personally invested in this article from the first word. Do I believe ZD and the Public Market Personality thereof has ruined my dating life with her dead-face acting and breathy voice? Hell yes. But do I find your piece persuasive, cohesive, or even believable? No. Not only does the end strip any meaning from the entirety of the piece like @nope stated, but the style of the piece as a whole seems disjointed, and disingenuous.

2. "As a semi-quirky, semi-hip twenty-something white girl, I am contractually obligated to sleep with these men." What the fuck? Contractually obligated by what, the "semi-quirky, semi-hip twenty-something white girl"'s own desire? And if so, is this statement supposed to be humorous as well? So the desire for men that you are attracted to is an obligation, that traps you forever in a sexual trade, and oh wait it's hilarious?

On a separate note:
I'm glad you are happier now than you were before, when you were trying out the MPDG role, and wish you much luck in the future. I apologize if this comment is super harsh, but I got a little riled I guess.

Sep 27 11 - 9:46am
qe

ha! the author writes an essay to get a weight off her chest & shares it with the whole world, and instead of finding like-minded folks who validate her experiences, she gets a critical reader who's also a self-confessed zooey deschanel lookalike. i'd be kinda bummed.

Sep 27 11 - 2:30pm
dude

This isn't her journal. If you're going to publish writing you should be prepared for criticism.

Sep 27 11 - 6:47pm
V

Where did they say they were a look a like? 'Gurl you're a lot like' doesn't mean 'I look a lot like'.

Sep 28 11 - 12:44am
Dee

@qe IF you think you should be that precious with your writing, then I sincerely hope you never let your diary see the light of day.

Sep 27 11 - 1:49am
Kellie Christiansen

This article really hit home for me. I've had a love/hate relationship with Zooey since Almost Famous.

Sep 27 11 - 1:02pm
PeterSmith

She was so great in Almost Famous... it's been all downhill.

Sep 27 11 - 1:54am
Kellie Christiansen

Also just an extra note. You should watch Zooey in the film Eulogy. She doesn't act or look like an indie, pixie goddess and her character is a normal person who never really discusses rainbows or kittens.

Sep 27 11 - 2:02am
OMG

This is like the story of my fucking life.

Sep 27 11 - 2:50am
Show

What I don't understand is why there ever need a reason to sing Hall & Oates.

Sep 28 11 - 12:10pm
Amy

Blasphemy!

Sep 27 11 - 3:19am
Well

Really, it has nothing to do with Zooey. You're just not that hot.

Sep 27 11 - 7:01am
nn

Are you a 14 year-old girl, or do you just sound like one?

Aug 04 12 - 6:14am
poop

no, he's right. for some reason people are constantly underestimating sex appeal

Sep 27 11 - 3:47am
duh

Things I learned from my first 60 days reading Nerve:

Nerve hates anyone who is prettier and more famous than them.

Sep 27 11 - 10:07am
Nerve, Your Mom

I used to be pretty. Prettier than you! But then I met your no-good father...

Oct 28 11 - 3:10pm
duhresponder

or that Nerve features thought pieces by people who are insecure just like people that complain on comment boards. and that insecure people sometimes get frustrated with people who are prettier and more famous than them.

Sep 27 11 - 4:06am
big mac

i love zooey

Sep 27 11 - 4:26am
ABC

This article is hilarious! It's well-written with just the right amount of intelligent sarcasm thrown in...LOVE!

Oh, and some of the above people should take a douche-sized chill pill and realise that not every word should be read literally.

Sep 27 11 - 5:25am
def

irony

Sep 27 11 - 5:29am
Irish Brian

Amen

Sep 27 11 - 9:48am
RC

lol passive agressive

Sep 27 11 - 10:43am
anon

someone should really teach you hipsters what irony is. but then you'd have to pay attention in class, wouldn't you?

Sep 27 11 - 1:29pm
def

an organization of a work (in this case, the post) that gives full expression to contradictory impulses or attitudes.

ABC on the one hand insists that everyone who didnt like the article should just relax and not take thing so seriously. In order to accomplish get that point across, (s)he ends up taking herself quite seriously, claiming that everyone needs to take a "douche-sized chill pill" and not read into things so literally. ABC's explicit message is not in line with the implicit one (communicated through word choice).

Asshole.

Sep 27 11 - 5:58pm
src

Shut up.

Sep 27 11 - 10:04pm
def

stirring rebuttal

Sep 29 11 - 9:22pm
bob

big words = correct. Right? At least I think that's how it works, right def?

Dec 18 11 - 8:34pm
Matt

def internet pwnd.

Sep 27 11 - 4:58am
Eve

I honestly can't stand a grown ass woman being sold to us as a "cute little girl."

Sep 27 11 - 4:33pm
EMK

Can I get a witness!

Sep 27 11 - 7:23pm
nope

A-men!

Sep 28 11 - 6:36pm
OHMYGOSH.

Let me guess, you let feminism decide what the personality of a grown woman should be, didn't you? She can't be taken seriously unless she "grows up" and acts like a demure, boring, straight faced "grown woman" at all times. How lame. God forbid someone over the age of fifteen be allowed to have some freaking fun in their lives, and be at least remotely interesting.

And she's not being "sold to us as a 'cute little girl.'" She's being herself. And the last time I checked, that was still allowed in America.

Sep 28 11 - 11:25pm
Dearest

OHMYGOSH, if you honestly think any celebrity persona is just them 'being theirselves,' you are out of your mind. Deschanel is a brand. Her MPDG persona is not real, it is a marketing device. That's kind of what the article was about.

Sep 29 11 - 8:08pm
@OHMYGOSH.

Where the fuck did you get your ideas about what "feminism" is about? Did you fucking skim the watery columns on bitch magazine or did you just listen to too much glenn beck or what?

This is coming from someone who's been a women's studies TA (and is now in middle management, bizarre as it sounds). I could tell you about Greer and Hooks, and just how fucking stupid your every second poster and their cousin's impression of gender inequality, what can be done about it, and ideas related to that is. Learn what you're talking about before you run your mouth.

Dec 18 11 - 8:35pm
Matt

Above=Pwnage.

Sep 27 11 - 5:38am
Dee

Why would anyone in their sane mind watch '(500) days of summer' and think "I want a dude to feel the same way about me as he did about her in that movie". That movie creeped me out massively.

Sep 27 11 - 5:43am
Ha

An insecure loser that's who.

Sep 27 11 - 5:44am
Wossamotta

It's one of my all-time least favorite movies

Sep 27 11 - 7:05am
nn

'500 Days of Summer' was a great movie, in that it portrayed a complicated relationship between two people more realistically than most movies. And I think we've ALL witnessed guys we care about feeling that way about a girl, albeit nearly always one who is unattainable for them.

Sep 27 11 - 12:16pm
Wossamotta

The problem wasn't that she was attainable. The problem was that the guy should have realized right away how emotionally remote she was.

Sep 27 11 - 1:16pm
Myke

Yeah Wossamotta has it. It's a perfect illustration of that old Proustian saw of loving someone more for being an object than a subject. JGL was such a pussy that any girl who showed him attention was bound to end up being his personal golden goddess, despite Zooey being ultimately unattainable for reasons of her own. If the film had looked at these two archetypes witheringly and honestly, then we'd have had something, but it goes out of its way to paint Zooey as a heartless bitch and JGL as a wronged innocent. There's no critical distance at all, and you can tell everyone involved really thinks they're depicting the ultimate romantic tragedy here. The only people who love this movie are sensitive neurotics with no dating experience and girls who have been made to feel guilty for stepping on said neurotics' pitifully exposed hearts.

Sep 28 11 - 6:39pm
LOLOL

LOL Myke! Way to stereotype! I love that movie and I'm a happily married woman, with no dating or relational issues whatsoever.

Jun 19 12 - 7:13pm
hey

zooey. i bet her vaj looks liks cold cut combo.

Sep 27 11 - 7:57am
big deal

So watching Zooey Deshanel movies make you feel like every guy feels after having to watch 'The Notebook' with his girlfriend - a brief feeling of 'fuck, I can't live up to that,' followed by the realization that the character's behavior would actually be crazy awkward and off-putting in real life. Congrats?

Sep 27 11 - 1:21pm
Myke

Yes. But it's more than that. It's the (very prevalent) hipster phenomenon of Zooey Deschanel representing some sort of ideal girlfriend, which is no less shallow than the swoonings over The Notebook and Titanic. Hipsters just like to pretend that their preoccupations and obsessions are much more noble than those of "the masses". What the author is getting at here is how sensitive (male) neurotics are just as susceptible to romantic abstractions as young teenage girls are, except with a few extra dollops of self-righteousness and -justification. Which is far more insufferable than the romantic yearnings of developing young girls, but much less rarely called out because too many hipster girls are privately wishing they could be as universally desirable as Zooey Deschanel paints herself as being.

Sep 27 11 - 2:07pm
yup

amen.

Sep 27 11 - 2:34pm
dude

"...which is no less shallow than the swoonings over The Notebook and Titanic." So it's not more than that. It's the same as that. So you agree with 'big deal,' but felt the need to re-state his argument using more convoluted language.

Sep 27 11 - 3:11pm
Holly

OP can't live up to a depressed Ryan Gosling?!

Sep 27 11 - 7:35pm
Myke

Thank you dude for pointing out a small inconsistency in my phrasing (which, actually, does not mean what you think it means. The concept is the same but the degree to which it is expressed is worse). I'll never again waste your valuable time.

Sep 27 11 - 7:59am
cmd

Zooey wasn't in Garden State -- that was Natalie Portman.

Sep 27 11 - 10:01am
thinkywritey

Nice reading comprehension skills.

Sep 27 11 - 10:02am
jmd

True, but who needs facts when you can get another week's mileage out of hating Zooey?

Sep 27 11 - 10:39am
TAL

The author knows it wasn't Zooey. She was throwing that bit in to show that just like all of Zooey's roles, Natalie Portman is Zach Braff's MPDG in Garden State. And I know exactly what she means. Garden State was my favorite movie when I was 17, but by the time I was about 19 and got my heart broken by an annoying California girl, I realized how stupid it was and how stupid I was when I liked it so much.

Sep 27 11 - 6:46pm
RW

She's name-checking Garden State because the phrase "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" was created during a NPR review of the film. Also as a lazy shorthand description of the person she was with, rather than actually getting to know him as a person.

Sep 27 11 - 7:07pm
RW

Oops, my bad. It was for another horrible film, "Elizabethtown." Second sentence still applies tho.

Sep 27 11 - 7:24pm
nope

It was actually the A.V. Club's Nathan Rabin.

Sep 28 11 - 1:24pm
Indeed

...it was avclub. Props to Rabin for identifying the trope and coining the meme... I had no idea it had life beyond avclub (even the above-referenced wikipedia page).

Sep 27 11 - 8:51am
86

love the rampant use of the word "adorkable"

Sep 27 11 - 9:19am
fdlh

Oh my god this fits my life exactly. I've dated two musicians now who were constantly telling me how in love they were with Zooey. And I hate her.

Sep 27 11 - 9:36am
chudmasher779

I used to have a special place near my heart for girls like Zooey... but now I just keep a crossbow by the door and 24/hr surveillance cameras.

Sep 27 11 - 10:01am
thinkywritey

"It's embarrassing to admit now, but I wanted to be worshiped for my uniqueness and lusted after for my adorkableness; I wanted to be the girl who made sensitive neurotics want to change their lives." This sounds like me, except without the embarrassed part.

Sep 27 11 - 10:08am
stv

pretty clearly tongue in cheek i thought (and hilarious)

Sep 27 11 - 10:18am
AAC

Just a wild guess, but isn't it possible that "doing the kind of weird, inexplicable shit" failed because it was a contrivance? Quote-unquote quirky girls have been around since long before Zooey, or Amélie, or Beetlejuice or The Breakfast Club. With some of them, it feels like a natural outgrowth of who they are and how they see the world; with others, it feels like attention whoring. If you adopt a persona that doesn't make sense for you -- either in terms of your personality, or in terms of your appearance -- then most people are going to be put off, and you probably won't feel that great either.

Personally, I find ZD moderately attractive -- certainly more so than most female celebrities -- but no more than that. It's hard to argue with big eyes and clear skin, but she also communicates a combination of ingenuousness and sexual availability that most men find attractive. People like her are great in the short term, but usually flake out in the long term, and a cursory read of her website is enough to make it clear just how cloying this shit would get.

Still...in a world full of depressives and passive-aggressive neurotics and Jersey Shore rejects, someone who brings a childlike energy to her life, and who isn't afraid to do ridiculous things that makes her look like a total goofball, would be a nice thing to have...for a while, anyway.

(P.S. For extra fun, read that last paragraph in the Movie Guy voice)

Sep 27 11 - 10:51am
Dea

Well said.

Sep 27 11 - 12:18pm
Wait Five Minutes

I pretty much feel that way after a single viewing of her show. It was vaguely appealing, but I can't imagine it being tolerable in the long-term...or even the
moderate" term.

Sep 27 11 - 1:26pm
Myke

I actually really like this assessment, AAC. As a former (and recovering!) sensitive neurotic, there's certainly a desire amongst my type for such childlike reverence and energy. The world's such a jaded an ugly place, to sensitive young men, these girls are like the last pocket of joy in the world. Of course, reality is much less romantic. These girls do tend to be cloying and unreliable, and we young lads tend to be depressed and obsessive in a way we often depict as heroically tragic, and the resultant relationships are, naturally, doomed to fail. Oil and gasoline, essentially. But it's a powerful and common attraction, and those who are less self-aware may spend their entire lives chasing MPDGs in hopes of returning to that adolescent sense of consuming infatuation. All the rest of us can do is continue to poke holes in the eminently appealing MPDG persona and convince the boys who idolize it that the real world (and the real women who populate it) are much more worth their time.

Sep 28 11 - 2:46pm
thinkywritey

Now, THIS is a conversation worth having. :) Good on ye both, AAC and Myke. I DO agree that the flighty are often preferable to the gloomy.

Sep 27 11 - 10:38am
anon

Trying to do something to be liked (despite its not being genuine) won't make you liked. It just makes you a hipster.

Sep 27 11 - 1:34pm
duh

boy, you're on a roll, aren't you?

most people have done things purely in hopes of being liked, since the beginning of pop-culture, at least. the "hipster" as you and people like you are so fond of bringing up and complaining about, doesn't actually exist. it's just a cultural bogeyman for you to hang all of your insecurities and dissatisfaction on. get a life.

Sep 27 11 - 4:00pm
anon

let me help you out. look around. you should be able to find a bunch of effete posers living with their parents and spending $400 on jackets to impress each other while they pretend to be poor. those would be hipsters.

Sep 27 11 - 10:40am
anon

The author should be more realistic about what relationships are. And also not blame famous people for her own neuroses and bad decisions.

Sep 27 11 - 10:43am
m-m-m

I fucking hate the quirky shit that people try to do. If, for example, a girl calls herself "random" I read that as "irritatingly affected behaviour". While dancing in the rain has its place and time, it's not in the middle of a serious conversation. If we're at a museum, it's not okay to go opening random doors. That's not quirky or random, that's fucking trespassing.

This article doesn't coalesce the way the author wants, but I appreciate the points she's trying to make.

Sep 27 11 - 10:51am
Sofia

Fucking brilliant. Fuck Zoe.

Sep 27 11 - 2:35pm
dude

I think you missed the point.

Sep 27 11 - 10:51am
Lawrence

Forgot where I read this, on Nerve possibly?
"not in a Zooey Deschanel-wearing-a-sequined-American-flag-unitard-while-playing-the-tuba-in-a-empty-high-school-football-field way"
lolololol

Sep 27 11 - 10:57am
Ryan

This type of guy (I am one of them) inclines towards brooding and depression...that's why he needs the idea of the MPDG. Anyone who suffers with anything fantasizes about a possible antidote, whether it is in the form of another person or not. It may not be fair to the brooding, depressed, deep girl...but the last thing this guy needs is more weight in his life. As for "growing up"...it's a concept that is only of use to the non-depressed and conventional. To the depressed guy, the conventional, "grownup" life is death and utterly unworkable. He is constantly looking for a "third way" and the MPDG seems like a beacon to one.

Sep 27 11 - 11:04am
Guy

Everyone really, really needs to get out of their 20s and understand how fucking retarded all of this is.

Sep 27 11 - 2:06pm
hkc

indeed.

Sep 27 11 - 2:11pm
Myke

Well yeah, definitely. The trouble is that not all of us are and this is about as dramatic as things get for us privileged little white people in our privileged little First World. The point of this article, or at least reading between the lines a bit, is actually about transcending this angsty little romantic hangup many of us have and moving onto real and fulfilling relationships. Then the real world begins.

Sep 27 11 - 2:27pm
dude

Myke, if your life is so asinine and boring that the idea that real people aren't like movie characters is the most dramatic conclusion you've ever drawn, you need to get the fuck out more. If you are that sheltered it is nobody's fault but your own.

Sep 27 11 - 7:44pm
Myke

You're right, I decided before birth that I wanted nothing more than to be sheltered and spend the rest of my life assessing and re-assessing my situation. I don't exactly see what you're so pissy about, dude. I'm not claiming this situation is the centerpiece around which my life revolves; in fact I'm kinda saying I'd like to see more people move past this realization I (and the author) have made and do more productive things with their life. Believe it or not, I do things in my life other than hunting the Internet to restate my experiences with and opinions of MPDGs. This article caught my eye and I'm adding to the discussion as someone who's a few years beyond this issue and glad to see other people moving on as well. I don't know what to tell you. Sorry you don't feel like this is a legitimate problem. I agree it's pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but for this author who seems to have structured her life around the ZD-approved style of seduction, it sure mattered a lot.

And if you really need me to justify this all on the macro level, romantic delusions are a hell of a problem for (first world, I admit) people seeking love, happiness, and human connection in their life. This is just one of many ways people hinder themselves. But please, carry on with your righteous indignation about self-analysis and pop culture influence.

Sep 27 11 - 11:11am
ss

I thought this article was hilarious and well written!

Sep 27 11 - 11:15am
dani ohh

I get it, and I can't seem to understand why this piece is getting so much hate. It was honest and funny, sardonic when it needed to be and a lot of women will be able to relate. The more exposed ZD has become the more angry I become with her "cutesy" personality. For fucks sake, she's making a Christmas album. "a very she & him Christmas" which if the title doesn't make you want to stick needles in your ewe drums, only assume her breathy bird like voice will.

Sep 27 11 - 11:17am
Dea

Whoa, the author and apparently a lot of other people here are giving a random celebrity way too much power here. I'm guessing that neither the author nor anyone commenting here has ever even met Ms. Deschanel (at least not in a more than "hey, you're ZD!" kind of way) or knows her personally. Therefore, whatever traits or personality you imagine her to have is exactly that -- your imagination. Whether it's your own inference or something she has consciously cultivated through her public image management, whatever and whoever you imagine her to be is pure projection and conjecture. It isn't real. Remember the guy having the phone relationship who wrote to Miss Info, and people pointed out that he only knew her "ambassador" and his own idealized version of her since they had never met? Yeah, a bit like that.

I get that the author has perceived a certain phenomenon in her love life among the guys she dates and is trying to say how ZD embodies the ideal that they want that she feels she falls short of in comparison. News flash: guys dig hot chicks -- even sensitive hipster guys. No profound revelations here. Sub in Megan Fox for ZD, and you'll realize how run-of-the-mill and ridiculous this sounds.

Stop fixating on a random person you've never met who isn't real, and start living your life in front of you, which is real. You'll enjoy it more, feel less insecure, and be able to get more to the heart of your relationships, since you'll no longer be attributing all of their shortcomings to a celebrity.

Sep 27 11 - 1:22pm
dixie

It's clear from the 3rd paragraph of your comment that you did not read to the end of the essay. And it's not Zooey herself who's under attack here, it's the MPDG ideal that she (with, I presume, the assistance of her management team) self-consciously plays up and embodies. The point is not that the author doesn't get that all guys dig hot famous chicks, or that Zooey is evil, the point is that this MPDG trope creates some silly and unrealistic expectations for men and women alike. You may think that it's stupid that the author internalized these tropes as much as she says she did, but you can't deny that they exist and are prevalent in movies/Tv shows' depictions of modern relationships.

Sep 27 11 - 11:25am
Dynamic

I used to date women like Zooey. I liked it a lot, but the relationships ended always in drama.
Now i prefer more serious women.
The only thing i blame Zooey for is that she did a very bad move in trying to be part of a 30 minutes comedy series....

Sep 27 11 - 11:40am
Tiffany

Zooey Deschanel is as fun as a unicorn without a horn... or a pegasus without wings. Then it's just a horse then it like.... just "ok".

Sep 27 11 - 11:40am
fad23

I'd pay money to see Z D get really excited about something, like stark raving mad or really swept up in a fervor. She's pretty enough that I'll look, but she tends to skate through her high stakes scenes. I get the feeling that she's distant from passionate emotions

Sep 27 11 - 11:50am
Evan

You're a genius. I hope you grow up to be a swan.

Sep 27 11 - 12:10pm
The Nub

Huh? Yeah, cool story...

By the way, Zooey Deschanel is Hot.

Sep 27 11 - 12:21pm
I get it

Years ago I wanted to be the MPDG myself, which also screwed me over big time. Thanks for posting this.

Sep 27 11 - 12:31pm
oompa

ugh I have a friend who Loves the adorkable Zooey D. She is the hipster superstar savior.

she annoys me. I hate the way she talks. You are not a woman if you dress like you're 10 in flowery sundress and bah like sheep to follow the hipster herd.

You are not unique if you try to adopt the following into your life:

Urban outfitters
Anything with an owl on it
hating the summer because you can't where your stockings
believe Arcade Fire is the best thing since the Beatles - shame on you.
Own a pair of "Buddy Holly" looking glasses ESPECIALLY when you pop out the glass - that look is fucking stupid and a poor attempt at "irony"
You think you discovered LPs
Your apt looks like a vintage crap store. same for your closet
You are music snob.
PBR

I can go on but those are the main points. GTFO of here, you are in no way unique.

I believe the "hip" in hipster/hippie is for "hippocrite".

Sep 27 11 - 12:39pm
dude

Now I am imagining that you live in a community of owl-wearing, vinyl-loving, thrifty hippos.

Sep 28 11 - 7:04pm
YouNeedToChill.

You really need to swallow a bottle of chill pills please.
1. A woman is allowed to be whatever she pleases. If a woman decides she wants to wear floral dresses and be fun and sunny and not to serious all of the time, then she can. If she's being herself, she's being a woman. PERIOD. Feminism has really ruined femininity hasn't it?? Such a shame.
2. TRYING to be unique, and actually being unique are different. You can wear Urban Outfitters and like owls and vintage tea sets and be unique. If you like those things for the simple fact that you think they will make you unique, then you're being a "hipster" or a "poser." Plain and simple.
3. The Beatles suck.
4. You need to swallow another bottle of chill pills and color some Disney Princesses in a coloring book. Then eat some cake. Maybe then you'll feel better about yourself enough to let others be, and not care, or let it affect you.

That is all.

Sep 28 11 - 11:29pm
Dearest

Where did point 1 play in to what he said at all? I'm guessing you're OHMYGOSH from above. I apologize to your misguided sense of victimization, but no one is criticizing Deschanel because she is too girlish. She is being criticized for propagating the misguided notion that it is cute to have a bunch of affected quirks instead of just being who you are, not because she wears floral dresses or is not 'serious.' It's about being honest and accepting of yourself, instead of trying to be someone you're not. You made it the exact opposite, somehow.

Sep 30 11 - 11:40pm
Kim

You can't make me stop liking owls! And I need these dark rimmed glasses to see. And "Ready to Start" is an awesome song and the jewelry at Urban Outfitters is really cute!

Sep 27 11 - 12:44pm
mp

Did ZD once shoot down an editor at Nerve or something? This hate-obsession is getting old already.

Sep 29 11 - 8:16pm
@mp

yep. Sniper rifle. happened last month.

Sep 27 11 - 1:15pm
alexw

500 days of summer came out in 2009. If the author has been in a relationship for 3 years, all her issues with trying to be quirky to please guys was before that, and as such, can't possibly be Deshanel's fault. I mean, the "adorkable" campaign and Hello Giggles are both in the last year. The timeline of this article just makes no sense.

Oct 17 11 - 12:37am
totes

I was thinking this, too!

Sep 27 11 - 2:22pm
Ed

From the end of the article:

"But it still would be nice to see her in a movie where she plays someone quirky without being brain-dead, or dorky without being adorkable."

Did the author see "Elf"? Zooey was the uptight, non-dorky sales clerk that "adorkable" Will Ferrell falls for.

Sep 27 11 - 3:31pm
Holly

Yeah but, she also sings "Baby It's Cold Outside" in the shower in that movie.

Sep 27 11 - 2:41pm
dude

@Ed: Continuing, and responding to a bunch of other people (and the author's) assumptions about New Girl, it's actually about the fact that Zooey's MPDG quirks are obnoxious and off-putting to guys, not that she is a magnet for them. It's a bad show on its own merits -- primarily its tragic unfunniness -- but the ones that you are all sighting isn't one of them. If anything, the show has the potential to be a clever critique of the MPDG image Deschanel's adopted.

Sep 27 11 - 3:16pm
oh

sorry, but having just seen the pilot for "new girl," theres really nothing critical or subversive about it. zooey's MPDG quirks (such as singing out loud and weeping uncontrollably during "Dirty Dancing") may be obnoxious and off-putting to her male roommates and the dude she tries to get with, but the joke is less on her than it is on the shallowness and obnoxiousness of these guys (in the case of dirty dancing, it's more about "OMG dudez just don't get wimmenz and chick flix"). either way, the writing is so bad and her character is so poorly developed that even if these guys aren't immediately entranced by her, she's still just the sum of her quirks.

also, after she's been stood up towars the end of the ep, her roommates leave a crazy party to go home and support her, thus learning a Major Life Lesson (i.e. that friendship is more important than getting drunk and hooking up with chicks), which is one of the most prominent aspects of the MPDG trope. it's also implied that one of her male roommates (the sensitive bartender getting over a breakup) is gonna serve as a major romantic interest later in the season, so he's clearly not as repelled by her quirks as her other doofy roommates.

Sep 27 11 - 4:53pm
thing

The show suffers a lot from structural issues, lack of plot, stilted character development, an overwhelming sense of contrivance, etc. However it does seem to be trying to show that the very MPDG quirks are annoying and off-putting in real life, but that underneath that she's actually a nice, decent, person - just like Schmidt is beneath the douchbaggery, and Coach is (was, at this point I suppose) beneath the…uh, trying to shout things into working. So its sorta an attempt to humanise the MPDG and the bros. Or something.

I'm probably over-thinking this - it's still a pretty badly written show, but it'd be better if people criticised in on those terms rather than attacking ZD for what they think she represents.

Sep 27 11 - 3:13pm
Holly

Somewhere Zooey Deschanel is having a panic attack brought on by the creeping suspicion that she is over.

Sep 27 11 - 3:44pm
Meg

I personally adore Zooey for giving girls like myself feel that being that quintessential MPDG girl isn't all that bad. I don't need my breasts or behind hanging out of my clothes to receive acknowlegement...I'm weird and quirky and proud of it So thumbs up to our girl Zooey..but maybe she took it too far marrying indie rock god Ben Gibbard from Death Cab for Cutie. Just kidding :p

Sep 27 11 - 3:47pm
mr. man

wow, lotsa zooey talk. i don't even care.

Sep 27 11 - 4:00pm
@mr. man

I'm sure Zooey feels the same way!

Sep 28 11 - 1:31pm
mr. man

quite possible.

Sep 27 11 - 4:07pm
Abe Froman

i always confuse zooey deschanel and chloe sevigny. which one was in "i love you beth cooper"?

Sep 27 11 - 7:27pm
nope

I would assume Deschanel. Sevigny is blonde and primarily an actress, while I believe Deschanel is primarily a singer. Also, Sevigny usually picks really good independent movies, or at least interesting ones, while Deschanel (despite her 'indie darling' rep) never really did the indie circuits.

Sep 27 11 - 7:48pm
Myke

That's Hayden Panettiere in Beth Cooper. Chloe Sevigny is an indie film actress demi-god (The Brown Bunny, Boys Don't Cry) and the kind of girl I would actually like to meet in real life. Zooey can stay right up on the TV screen where she belongs.

Sep 27 11 - 5:51pm
#wasteofmytime

So, this article is pointless, basically.

Sep 27 11 - 5:56pm
LuvEmQuirky

This was also called "zany", and it's not new. In the 50' Dobie Gillis was totally blown away by beatnick Zelda. There was "My Girl" (Marlo Thomas). Musicians Jony Mitchell and Janice Joplin were awesome. And are people old enough to remember SNL's Lisa Radner?
This was a well-written, entertaining, and refreshing piece, and yes, a bit zany in and of itself.
Poetic use of "contractually obligated" was great! Keep it up. Keep on writing what you want.
There are many of my former selves out there that should and will love you up!
Don't try hard. Do try hard. Both work!

Sep 27 11 - 7:40pm
Corretrix

LuvEm.......do you mean SNL's Gilda Radner? Are YOU old enough to remember?

Sep 28 11 - 6:26am
spinster

Maybe he meant Gilda Radner's Lisa Loopner...
Not that I'm old enough to remember, and I'm one of the older folks around these parts...

Sep 28 11 - 8:35pm
Correctrix

Agreed! Although I have only a few recollections of Gilda Radner playing the character Lisa Loopner, I am officially old enough. To remember, that is.

Sep 27 11 - 6:22pm
Ralph Wiggum

My pee-pee feels all.. boney!

Sep 27 11 - 6:32pm
gstratto

SHES MINE! BACK OFF!

Sep 27 11 - 7:20pm
BrosephofArimathea

Someone in this article has issues and it's not Zooey Deschanel.

Sep 27 11 - 8:04pm
anon

YES.

Feb 04 12 - 11:01pm
anonymous

Totally agree.

Sep 27 11 - 7:25pm
Thom

To be honest I had no idea who this Zooey person even is, but the Ira Glass in drag comment did amuse me.

Sep 27 11 - 7:35pm
Dan

Not to mention she can't act, she's like a big gorgeous black hole

Sep 27 11 - 7:40pm
mm

Jesus Christ, people sure love to get angry.

YOU MAD!

Sep 27 11 - 8:06pm
Word.

Ode to the days when quirkiness was a trait people disliked about themselves but eventually become comfortable living with. Quirkiness shouldn't be something you stride for. The world has become weirder by the second as I watch people attempt to be something they are not, something that you didn't want to be in the past. And besides that something that you couldn't force anyway. It's natural and the few that have it loath it, is what I'm saying people.

Oct 04 11 - 11:52pm
HB

Seriously. I'm naturally a MPDG, but that's because I have a personality disorder.

Sep 27 11 - 8:06pm
anon

Since I can't reply to the comment for whatever reason, here's the deal for "duh."

If you look around, you should be able to find a bunch of effete posers who insist on living with their parents so that they can afford to spend $400 on jackets to impress each other while they pretend to be poor despite half of them having trust funds. those would be the hipsters. and just like climate change, denying they exist doesn't make them go away.

Sep 27 11 - 8:13pm
Thanks

You have really articulated the thing that has been nagging me about this Zooey chick. Nailed it, really. I think the Zooey adorkable/quirky persona gets used by girls to hide the fact they don't have an interesting personality.

Sep 27 11 - 8:14pm
z.d.wannabe

I got bangs in 12th grade because I wanted to BE Zooey. Needless to say, they didn't work out. I understand where the author is coming from.

Sep 27 11 - 8:23pm
Myke

I guess now's a good time to add that there are two different girls this article concerns. You probably all knew this, but it's worth differentiating for the few that don't. There's the real deal MDPG, or what we think Zooey must be like in real life. There are people who don't even need to fake that persona because it comes that naturally to them. Then there are the girls who resentfully but dutifully create the persona from scratch, i.e. our author. The MPDG isn't always an affectation. Some people really do live it day in and day out. They're almost the sadder case, though, because at least the imitators (usually) learn to express their own relatively normal personality instead of inventing one. Real MPDGs don't have that option, and it's probably a pretty lonely road for them if you think about it. All they can do is bounce from guy to guy, following their whims wherever they may lead, and watch helplessly as they rack up a collection of disgruntled ex-lovers. All while looking for a lover who doesn't treat them as a goddess and burn out on his own illusion a few months in. I know we're here to sympathize with the girls who pretend to be MPDGs, but it can be just as alienating to be naturally beautiful and vivacious without ever asking for those 'gifts.'

Sep 28 11 - 2:51pm
thinkywritey

Myke, you are my favorite person today.

Sep 28 11 - 5:42pm
Myke

:)

Jan 08 12 - 1:21am
Maggie

I was inspired by your comment about Proust to reread Swann in Love:
http://another-order.blogspot.com/2012/01/500-days-of-summerswann-in-lov...

Sep 27 11 - 9:42pm
Stokely

How is Ethiopian food wrong or MPDG?! It's just plain awesome.

Sep 27 11 - 10:21pm
Sayyadina

Such is the failure of this generation. Once, as a young and impressionable young person, when I was still dumb enough to hold actors and actresses in the light that they did not deserve; I thought Sigourney Weaver was quite the object of desire/emulation. She often played the roles of strong, confident women, and could actually act, unlike a great many of today's ilk. While I still admire and enjoy her as an actress, she is just that, an actress, a person paid for no other purpose than for our entertainment. The same goes for Zoey and while I might think she is somewhat cute in a vaguely animeish sort of way, the idea that this large eyed waif has so effected the behavior of part of a population (as evidenced within my own social circle and not just this article) is to me a further sign that our culture is hopelessly lost.

Sep 28 11 - 2:11am
Litsa

I enjoyed the essay. The easiest thing in the world is to only reveal the great parts of yourself. The writer took a chance and wittily disclosed her past foibles and over half the comment section shit its pants. I don't revere or loathe Zooey Deschanel, but I'd recommend the Miguel Arteta/Michael White film, The Good Girl, in which she was first acclaimed. Her performance is wonderfully droll and she more than holds her own w/ Jennifer Anistorn, John C. Reilly, Jake Gyllenhaal and Tim Blake Nelson.

Sep 28 11 - 2:13am
Litsa

Typo: I meant "Aniston", obviously.

Sep 28 11 - 3:10am
Abby

I just wanted to say there are an awful lot of negative comments about this article so I just wanted to balance it out by saying it's beautifully written. You have a way with words, congratulations.

Sep 28 11 - 7:10am
Parvaneh

Awww I am a semi-hipster girl and i really like Zooey! i guess i know people who seem kinda like her and i kind of identify with her. I never saw 500 days but i can imagine it would make me understand since i hated natalie portman's character in Garden State. But playing that idealized character in a film doesn't mean that she IS that person. What about Kate Winslett in Eternal Sunshine? She also embodies that kind of character, though in a much more tolerable way. Anyway, the way I see it is that there are so many different ideals of women in media at this point, that it doesn't feel so important to fit into a specific one. Also, why all the hate on Zooey's voice? She is a good singer!

Sep 28 11 - 9:07am
oldtimey

with all do respect, the issue is not that she sucks, the issue is that you are threatened by her. Witch is strange, because you will most likely never even be on the same freeway as her. Your trying to hard. stop trying to be someone your not. be you, not her.

Sep 28 11 - 9:58am
Ahhhh

I see you're using the old "ur just jellis!!!!" chestnut. Here's an idea: read to the end of the piece (and then learn to write as well) before you open your mouth and spew all over the comments section.

Sep 28 11 - 7:26pm
ohmygoodness...

Ahhhh you really need to calm down. Spew is SUCH a ridiculous word. He was giving good, calm, peaceful advice.

Sep 28 11 - 9:48am
anon

*due
*which
*you're
*you're
(though I do agree with your sentinment

Sep 28 11 - 9:48am
anon

*sentiment :)

Sep 28 11 - 10:42am
oldtimey

well! it seems my poorly written sentence, struck a nerve!

Sep 28 11 - 11:36am
Matt

U mad?

Sep 28 11 - 11:39am
Matt

Also, it's not Hunter Thompson who makes 20-somthing's want to become violent alcoholics, it's womenz.

Sep 28 11 - 1:39pm
Steph

Well then may you should watch "All The Real Girls"

Sep 29 11 - 1:50pm
mc

I dug that movie. I am a little mystified about how strongly people feel about actors here. I just liked the movie because the actors acted well in it.

Sep 28 11 - 5:13pm
Actually...

The men probably didn't flock to your "quirkiness" because you're insane and crazy, and not the fun kind. People can usually tell when other people are being fake, and they don't usually find that too attractive. I went out and played in the rain in college because it was fun and I legitimately liked it, not to try to impress some guy I was with, and I never had a problem getting (or keeping) a boyfriend.

Sep 29 11 - 8:24pm
Yes it's true.

It's all true. YOU ARE FUCKING NUTS.

BTW, did I mention I'm better than you?

Sep 28 11 - 7:57pm
Moral of the Story..

So to save everyone's time, the moral of the story is to stop dating pussies that are obsessed with movie characters, stop trying to be something you're not to try and impress guys you like, and to not be a completely shallow asshole. the end.

Sep 28 11 - 8:08pm
HA!

This is a great, well written article. Its hilarious but has a lot of truth to it and speaks to a profound and real issue: trying to live up to these crazy ideals but maturing and realizing this is unattainable. Also, if you ever went to a liberal arts school these girls run rampant! Its the truth. Go whoever wrote this. Its spot on and made me laugh!

Sep 28 11 - 10:24pm
Pammy

I agree. Very funny.

Sep 29 11 - 6:20am
Starving Child

... gotta love those first world problems huh?

Sep 29 11 - 10:25am
@Starving Child

I don't normally like Internet acronyms, but: LOL, and FTW (in both senses).

Sep 29 11 - 6:00pm
Supports the article

I really enjoyed this. It's a shame that the people of reddit got wind of the article because, as you can see, they do not appreciate anything that doesn't have a meme at the end.

I found it particularly interesting because I have been thinking of Zooey deschanel as some magic dream girl for years, on the opposite side of the argument that you have made.

For that matter, I even manage to look over the fact that her new show is terrible and that I remember why I don't watch sitcoms, or tv for that matter.

I am currently in my early twenties and have been striving for the past year to make myself into what I have heard is the perfect, interesting guy.

When you point it out like this, perhaps it isn't the girls that I choose, but my own ideals of "love" that are in error.

In short, thank you for the fun article.

Sep 29 11 - 6:04pm
Geologic

I'm pretty sure ZD isn't in Garden State. Your ex was smitten with Natalie Portman.

Sep 29 11 - 6:36pm
Joe

Umm, the MPDG trope started waaaay before Zooey Deschanel. I remember being attracted to/knowing girls who aspired to be that whole "I'm crazy but isn't that glamorous?" type throughout all of my teenage years. I distinctly remember every girl on Myspace quoting Edie Sedgewick, or something from Alice in Wonderland (because it's KOOKY!) and saying one of her favorite activities was dancing in the rain. I don't know when this idea started exactly. Perhaps with "Breakfast at Tiffany's."

Sep 29 11 - 10:09pm
Hipster Hot Dude

I'd like to explore Zoey's Douchechannel

Sep 29 11 - 10:14pm
Guy in NYC

ZD type hipster girls really turn me on,I'd love to do a cute little indie HPOA with a couple of tattoos and piercings and big glasses and then smoke weed together on top of her roof in a shitty area of Brooklyn while listening to a band that sounds like a retard found a broken guitar, and she'd tell me all about this band that nobody has ever heard of, and then I'd have to kiss her just to make her shut up and the next morning I'd go straight into work at Goldman and shit on my boss' desk but then find out he's killed himself over the weekend because the economy sucks, so I'd feel bad for a minute but then I'll stop feeling bad because we're all laid off and the zombie apocalypse has just started.

Oct 01 11 - 5:34am
giuseppe

Ira Glass in drag = way hotter than Z.D.

Oct 01 11 - 6:43pm
Chax

Zooey Deschanel is Amazingly awesome, and hot, and she would do someone after a bucket of chicken wings. She is also made into an ideal, as good actors are made into. Way to waste your life blaming an ideal that you yourself have made up.

Oct 01 11 - 7:40pm
Nanook

What?

Oct 02 11 - 7:49am
notfromaroundhere

A lot of people without a sense of humor around here. Ironically the essay is...

...quirky.

Oct 03 11 - 3:27pm
nosexcity

This essay was amazing. I am so sick of being told I can only be desirable if I pull some "twee" shit with my appearance and randomly become an overgrown girl-child with a sizable vintage wardrobe even my great-grandmother would raise an eyebrow at.

Oct 03 11 - 3:27pm
madison

I saw the cotton commercial last night and had a good laugh thinking about this.

Oct 03 11 - 3:29pm
Nik

I loved the article and could identify with it on many levels. My husband, and the four boyfriends before him, are OBSESSED with Zooey. Luckily my husband thinks her singing voice is one of the most annoying sounds he has ever heard. If I had to watch her TV, movies AND listen to her sing throughout our house, there would be issues.

Oct 03 11 - 6:51pm
Samiam

I guess since Zooey has "gone mainstream" and is no longer the darling of Nerve hipsters, they're going to publish articles crapping on her.

Dear Nerve: I only like you for your movie and music recommendations. Does anyone over thirty care about the articles about dating/sex? Maybe I'm just too old for you...

Oct 03 11 - 7:00pm
wwjd

step one: choose to idolize someone, step two: find that their methods don't work well for you, step three: choose to do something else.

i guess if this article helps people skip steps one and two, then it's somehow valuable.

Oct 04 11 - 2:29am
Anna

The only problem I come across is that sensitive young lads only want these MPDG types if they come in tiny white girl form. I like to think that I've gotten the "growing up, not growing old" thing down pretty well..and all guys find it is cute in a very Little Sister way. Ah well.

Oct 04 11 - 9:36am
gaucheboy

It's fairly obvious this is humor. The social science/literary criticisms are sort of overkill. Why so literal? Also, the big werds = pretense line is tired. Like the 2-chord punk rocker who insists he could shred but is too 'real' and 'authentic.' You just need to practice some scales. And fer fuck's sake, buy a dictionary.

Oct 04 11 - 3:31pm
ashtray

ugh. this article was just pithy and cute and funny until all you assholes started picking it apart. Good grief. It's just a stupid little article about this girl realizing that you shouldn't act like a bizarre flake pseudo-nerd to get laid NOT THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS, PEOPLE.

Oct 04 11 - 3:42pm
drewtwoo

Oh- and FYI- ALL vaginas have magical restorative powers that (ideally) make us want to live life to the fullest.

Oct 04 11 - 5:38pm
Sandy

Oh Christ. I know this was meant to be humorous, but honestly. Don't blame Zooey. Blame yourself for trying to be something you're not.

I'm tired of women who automatically see other attractive women as competition. I'm a young woman, perfectly secure in myself and my own sex appeal, and I find Zooey Deschanel captivating. And it doesn't bother me one bit that my husband does too. Pardon the expression, but nut up, honey.

Oct 05 11 - 5:17am
popsy

Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Honestly, that was all that was. The content could have been put into a paragraph but no, it went on and on and on and on and on.

Oct 05 11 - 11:24am
simulathis

All of the dickhead comments about the boring, non-uniqueness of the article make me hate hipsters even more, and I did not believe that to be possible. Poor, anchor-less, angry little things. Thanks, Dear Author, for voicing some of the complicated, difficult-to-state problems with masculine-birthed archetypal female roles. MPDGs aren't new--Eve was one. That shit is Biblical. And if you fools think that three sentences of inchoate disagreement and indignant rebuttal can erase such a history... well, it's good to want things, I guess.

Oct 05 11 - 5:34pm
ADAM

Am I the only one that read this and wanted to ask out the author?

Oct 07 11 - 12:47am
Kathysantoni

I actually know the author and she isbvery attractive if your into the Jewish loo

Oct 11 11 - 2:29pm
2ndGreatest

We should spend our time critiquing actual journalism and literature instead of light puff-pieces like this one. This is just supposed to be a fun rant. I think it works on that level. She comes from an academic background, let's not judge too harshly for her use of vocabulary. It's hard to quit that shit. :)

Oct 15 11 - 8:53pm
Elsa

This struck a chord with me. Love/hate relationship with Zooey all the way. I'm choosing to ignore the comments. Appreciate the article. If only our juvenile relationships weren't subconsciously based on damn romantic comedies (: thanks anyway!

Oct 22 11 - 10:48pm
duh

The author is right, but only about her dating loser guys she shouldn't be dating. Every guy I've met who is obsessed with Zooey Deschanel also only wears hoodies and crusty khaki shorts and pretends to like things that aren't really good at all just bc they want to be quirky.

Personally, I can see that ZD is a very good looking woman. But she's kind of a one-trick pony as far as her acting. Unless she is doing her Strawberry-Shortcake-Life-is-a-Pink-Party BS, she's quite forgettable.

Example: that M. Night Shylamadamadingdong movie with Marky Mark. ZD looked/talked like she was having a stroke the whole movie. Unless she's wearing a bright dress with puffy shoulders and is dancing while eating a candy cane (or floating on a cloud or some shit) she really doesn't know what the hell is going on.

But then again, with regard to all the actors I drool over -- I can assure you it ain't because I think they're charming or intellectual. It's because I think they're hot and I would make love to them even if I had to wear ear plugs to block out how annoying and self-absorbed they are. I'm talking to you, Justin Theroux. That's right, Jen Aniston -- I saw him first.

Back to my point -- you can tell a lot about a guy based on who his favorite actress is. And most guys who love ZD are the same ones who will never grow up and will ALWAYS have smelly feet.

Oct 29 11 - 3:41am
nsc

said it before and i'll say it again: death to this twee bullshit.

Nov 13 11 - 5:40am
bianchi

Zooey doesn't eat chicken wings because she is a vegan, er. Just learn how to build/ride a fixie and par francais ! ..most fans of zooey also j'adore Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain.

Dec 13 11 - 1:35am
Lilana

I thought reading this article was interesting to say the least. I mean I never had that need to be someone Im not especially for sex, however I could relate to the wishing that the guys I dated wouldn't compare me to these stars. I personally adore Zoey, because she is herself and that is very cute and comforting to know that we can all be ourselves. However I would never base my personality on her. Hating her seems pointless, because the image she gives is not the image of the ideal woman or the MPDg, but the image of being comfortable in your skin.

Dec 16 11 - 4:59pm
KindaOlderKindaWiser

We're all trying to fit in to this world. Most of the time we're trying hard not to be ourselves. I mean, who the hell wants to NOT fit in? Even Goths want love and happiness and for it to rain all the time while Depeche Mode is playing softly in the background.

The writer is just a girl who loves, hates, and accepts all of the formalities of dating and growing up. Finding out what works, and what doesn't. Is she serious? Is she giving us a "wink, wink" like she knows Zooey Deeshanel is not the end all, be all of what guys want?

I'm a little bit older than twenty-somethings (just left the world of thirty-somethings). Do I know what I'm talking about? My parents always said, "just be yourself". I did and I was a virgin until I was 22.

Dec 23 11 - 10:18pm
yeah

I love this article so much. Zooey Deschanel is so narcissistic and obsessed with herself, and watching her on 'New Girl' is revolting. The entire show is revolved around her, and I could not stand watching it anymore when her own breathy music came on in the background as the soundtrack. Her tumblr is horrible too; it's just her posting pictures of herself. UGH! It reminds me of what Janice says to Cady in 'Mean Girls' (yes, I know I'm going to bashed for making a 'Mean Girls' reference, but whatever. It makes sense): "God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean. You try to act like you're so innocent.Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africawith all the little birdies and the little monkeys." Zooey acts like she is so effing innocent and cute and hip, and it's like, seriously, just shut up. I'm sick of you.

Dec 24 11 - 5:01pm
MichaelH

I read this article and then I got my hopes up that the author really does look like Ira Glass in drag, but then I found her twitter and she's way too feminine and I was kind of disappointed.

Jan 01 12 - 6:09pm
Bobbo

Fuck hipsters.

Jan 06 12 - 11:03am
?

Wow, people write such mean responses to pretty harmless articles on the interweb. I actually enjoyed this 'journal entry'. I bet some women (including The Other Woman/mistresses) do the Damsel In Distress thing and some do the Manic Pixie thing to lure men like sirens calling out to lost ships. It's a pretty seductive illusion. I actually have a bit of a girl crush on the onscreen Zooey -- don't know anything about her in real life -- but i think my boyfriend might be completely in love with her and believe the 500 Days Of Summer Zooey is real... which maybe she is... but which is also kind of a bummer because i definitely can't live up to the doe-eyed, quirky girl fantasy. Or Marilyn Monroe either :) Sure I didn't get the camera-ready drop dead gorgeous genetics (pout)... but maybe it's my own failing on a Personality level. Maybe I SHOULD make him believe he can catch unicorns in the forest and start a band. Anyway, I feel badly the writer has such mean comments, I thought this article was interesting and insightful and didn't deserve to be drawn and quartered. But hey, thats just my nameless, faceless opinion. :)

Jan 08 12 - 8:38pm
Neurotic... wait a

The article above has just made me have a string of revelations about my psyche, and the reason behind every crush I've ever had. Thank-you. I feel set free! FREE!

Jan 10 12 - 6:27pm
Myself

I'd put ZD films and all that general schtick at the same level as Catcher in the Rye, Communism, drinking 20/20 and skateboarding; if you've never been into any of them by the time you're 18, you've got no heart, and if you're still into them when you're 25, you've got no brain. At 32, watching 500 Days of Summer was like watching an exagerrated dramatisation of numerous situations I watched some of my male friends go through 10 years ago. Being unattractive myself, I was uniquely positioned, as their friend, to provide living ecidence that they didn't 'love' these MPDGs because of their quirkiness, they 'loved' them because they were hot looking. When the latest MPDG did the 1997 equivalent of shouting ''penis'' in the park, it was adorable, when I did it it my friends laughed uncomfortably to try and drown out the sound of strangers shouting back ''shut up fat girl.'' They just think they extra-like these girls because they have this bizarrely misogynistic expectation that attractive girls should automatically be bitches, or like crap music and be boring, or all 3, so when they aren't it supposedly represents some kind of jackpot. Obviously this is why this shit only happens to very young men, because by the time they get to 25, as long as they don't live in a cave or Coventry, they'll probably realise there are, in fact, more than 1 women like this out there.
Anyway, to any girls still getting pissed off about their boyfriends swooning over ZD; simple solution, get some Tom Hardy films out! I assure you, you already bear more resembelance to ZD than your man ever, ever could to Tom, believe me, the man is his own species.

Jan 10 12 - 11:05pm
Ugh

Dreadful. Waste of time.

Jan 10 12 - 11:59pm
cg

You hooked up with a guy whose favorite movie was Garden State? I'm shocked you've had relationship trouble.

Jan 11 12 - 1:21am
EarlBradley

Yeah.. It's so fucking false. It seems that all people do now is watch television. This Zooey Deschane is a fucking corporate puppet.

There's some kind of invisible force out there. It wants to make everyone the same. It wants everyone to want the same things, to not like the same things, to want to BUY the same things...

Jan 14 12 - 2:06pm
Art

The male brain is not fully developed until the late twenties and that is just the physical part,...it still needs years to upload wisdom.

That said, Zooey is the bomb!

Jan 21 12 - 1:22pm
Leah

This article was poignant and amusing. Good job. Most people on here seem to be assholes who don't understand the subtle pleasures of sarcasm, facetiousness, or hyperbole. F* them.

Feb 03 12 - 3:15pm
wowza

I actually found this article really intriguing especially the part about men somehow thinking their obsession with Zooey is beyond an obsession with Megan Fox. I roll my eyes every time one of my 'cool-n-hip' guy pals gush about Zooey or hear a random chick with dark hair and bangs claim she looks just like her. I suppose what is frustrating is that they think it is so beyond the typical Maxim babe crush that normal college bros have. It's not. It's just another shallow lusting of a babe that has been turned into a magical character. Also, nothing is sexier than challenging your man to a chicken wing eating contest.

Feb 03 12 - 7:04pm
Mr John

I googled 'Zooey Deschanel's fanny' and this website came up. It made me laugh. I thought I'd share this.

Feb 06 12 - 12:12pm
Kc

You're an idiot

Feb 08 12 - 2:34pm
Randi

Maybe girls should stop hating girls. Maybe we should accept everyone for who they are. Zooey Deschanel is probably a nice person. MPDG is no more or less annoying than any other sexist stereotypes. Why would you hate on a random woman you know nothing?

Feb 11 12 - 7:50am
jason

zooey deschanel = absolutely stunning

you = pointless moron

Feb 11 12 - 9:50am
mddsn

everything i've always thought about the girl but was never able to articulate. spot on!

Feb 13 12 - 4:13am
Jess

Evolution of my relationship with "The New Girl:"
1) Dread based on the commercials -"Holy fuck, does Zooey Deschanel need to be everywhere all the time?"
2) Fury and disbelief based on the pilot -"Why did someone make a sitcom about me and how dare it suck so badly?!?"
3) Simmering rage for the first few weeks of the show -"Boyfriend, please turn this horrid abomination off. I am trying to play the mandolin." "Bitch please! That is MY cardigan! Not yours! I found it at a Salvation Army in the middle of the woods, how did you even...ugh."
4) Reluctant acceptance of Zooey Deschanel - "yes, I have seen that show. yes, she also sings to herself a lot. yes, she certainly is cute."
5) Reluctant acceptance of my own MPDG personality. I don't care if I'm so sweet and nice that you think it's fake; I'm a (reasonably effective) therapeutic solution for clinical depression and I have an awful lot of friends because of that.

Feb 16 12 - 9:22pm
vulnavia007

as i am well into my 30's my viewpoint of this particular "article" will be somewhat skewed from popular culture. i think what the author has failed to recognize is that ms. deschanel is in fact an actress & entertainer, and perhaps, a lot of her persona may be created in order to develop her career. i don't recall ever blaming any specific actress for my insecurities. i grew up with similarly "quirky" interests, making my own clothes, collecting vintage, bringing home stray animals...etc. i still love these things. what i guess i'm trying to say is that, unfortunately, teen age girls will usually feel inadequate, ugly etc..but atleast, nowadays, it's considered sexy to be a little strange and unconventional..at the age of 16 i remember donning my grandmothers wrap dresses when everyone had a boner for pamela anderson in her french cut red bathing suit, or wearing my great grandfathers hounds tooth fedora to school only to be sneered at and called a "weirdo" or "lesbian", noone really considered any of that cute or endearing. anyway, all i'm trying to say is at least what's sexy now isn't necessarily for the purpose of being overtly sexual. honestly, hating someone for being adorable is kind of ridiculous. i don't really hate any celebrities, because i don't care, but if i'm going to have any detest for popular culture, the megan foxes of the world could definitely dissappear tomorrow and i would be just fine with that.

Feb 20 12 - 6:16pm
Dork-unable

My attraction to Zooey started when I saw that movie with her and Jim Carey. She was adorable. I wondered, what it would be like to date a girl like her.

Then 3 years later, I was dating her, I mean her sister from another mother, her look-alike feel-alike dork-alike look-alike. When I first saw this girl, let's call her S, I thought S was Zooey, and I almost ignored S thinking, "I hate fame and I don't want to be seen around a celeb". I also noticed that S looked like Katy Perry. And S's clothing style was quirky too, and as it turned out, S was a fashion designer with a huge label.

The huge issue with S - her quirkiness had a deep hidden dark secret, of a selfish need to get everything done for her. S was a taker, never a giver, of anything - affection, kindness, caring, etc. The quirkiness reflected her need to be the center of attention, her need to feel special, her need to be taken care of as if she were a little child, her need to do and say whatever she wanted without adult critical thinking (after all, who's going to have critical thinking around a goo-goo-gaa-gaa gurgling cooing baby?).

Pure selfish need to be given everything while giving nothing. That's what quirkiness reflects. Yes, if Mother Teresa were quirky, I would see the mistake in my generalization. However, ever since I've had that year-long tolerant relationship with S, I recognize that I cannot be with any quirky women ever, for their selfishness which they hide behind that quirkiness sucks my blood dry in the most parasitic way while my mind is focused on their quirks.

No more! Good Riddance, Miss Zooey Deschanel and her look-alikes!

Feb 25 12 - 9:42pm
kimberlydawn

Zooey Deshnael is not really worth being jealous over...she's moving into her thirties now, and is not so young and cute any more. Happens to every celebrity, eventually., and they still keep trying so desperately to hold onto their youngness and cuteness, but around 35 or so (Zooey is getting there) it's really tricky to pull off any more, no matter how thick your bangs are, or how unnaturally wide you open you eyes for the camera!

Feb 28 12 - 2:50am
smalls

well, hate to break it to you, but she's actually an incredibly giving, sweet and wonderful person. so you keep on hating the fictional characters that she plays. you know, fiction...? it's not her fault you have horrible taste in men.

Mar 22 12 - 7:27pm
Kristen

Yes, because I am sure you know her personally and not just her media persona...I am sure she has been incredibly giving, sweet and wonderful directly to you.

Feb 29 12 - 7:27pm
jen

To be entirely honest I've always really loved her. Her movies are amazing, I saw The Go Getter when it first came out and I thought it was a great film. I related a lot to her character and was oddly relieved that someone who was a little different and didn't dress like a slut could be considered desirable. However, I don't really like New Girl all that much. Her character is adorable but seems to be really shallow... I never thought she would translate to television well. She has become a caricature.

Mar 06 12 - 4:39am
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Mar 07 12 - 12:43am
Roman

Wow, you sound like a sad person. Zoey has nothing to do with any of your problems. You clearly just need to find scapegoats and are probably jealous that she's talented and you can't write an article for shit. This was the stupidest article ever. Leave Zooey alone and grow up. If you wonder why you were finding bad boyfriends it's because this is how your brain thinks. Only morons and idiots would waste their time on you. I feel sorry for the boyfriends in your life.

Mar 07 12 - 12:44am
roman

also, god forbid someone expresses an attraction to another human being. You also sound very self centered.

Mar 09 12 - 7:32am
YesMyLord

At least your current boyfriend didn't actually date her in the past, like mine did.

Mar 17 12 - 9:20am
Niomi

Who dumped whom in the end?

Mar 12 12 - 12:33am
Hmmm...

This is what white women problems look like? Boo hoo.

Mar 22 12 - 7:30pm
Kristen

Uh...

No. No, you don't sound racist at all.

Mar 16 12 - 5:49am
Yes

You showed someone the remake of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy? Idiot

Mar 22 12 - 1:46pm
Poleco

Ive found myself chasing the preeminent MPDG a few times and I know what its like being with someone trying to be the MPDG type. With that experience, I found the article to be an insightful take from the female's point of view, which I was always curious about, especially in how exactly this MPDG trend began to take off. Anyways, bravo

Mar 25 12 - 1:13pm
Jeremy

So, I wouldn't mind a girl like Zooey, just saying.. Interviews are next wednesday.

Mar 25 12 - 10:50pm
Moi

This article isn't great. It might as well be about someone who blames chocolate for making them fat.

Mar 27 12 - 10:36pm
miranda

dude. the go getter.
it's amazing.
she made it before her manic-pixiness completely destroyed her personality, and she's not particularly central to the story, and sometimes she even displays emotions other than quirkiness. (yes, i'm pretending that quirkiness is an emotion.) and about 90% of her role in the movie is just being a voice on a phone talking to the really really cool main character, so you don't even have to spend that much time looking at her and feeling inferior because of it.
also, it has all the good parts of hipster films, and none of the bad parts, which means that the hipsters hate it.
anyway, it's a brilliant movie.

Apr 01 12 - 4:18pm
SeanActually

So I honestly don't know who all you people are or if you're the douche type that I imagine visit this website regularly, but I just followed to this article from a friend on Facebook and, from me who is not really into these kind of readings: This was a pretty damn good article. Maybe my girlfriend doesn't express herself well enough (and so she admits) and this place is filling that void by listening to your ZD hate train and subsequent bounce back, but it's a refreshing read, thanks for it!

It's worth mentioning that I once claimed that "amg ZD is the hottest person on the Earth" but she's arguably as fake as most of the people who frequent these boards. Interest averted.

Bye lovelies.

Apr 06 12 - 12:21am
eruc3ht

This is reiterating some points, but I didn't read all the comments.

This was a well thought out article, but I think the author came to the wrong conclusion. Zooey was not her problem, comparing herself to her was. If the man you are with does not build up your self esteem (e.g. he says he wants to have sex with someone else), he is not a good partner. What is pathetic is how she was trying to emulate someone else in order to attract the opposite sex. If that did pan out, would she have even been happy? Pretending to be someone else can be taxing, being yourself is liberating. Regardless if Zooey is pretending to be a manic pixie or if she actually is a manic pixie, it doesn't really matter. She's doing her thing and that has nothing to do with anyone who doesn't know her. There are tons of famous douche bags all girls love and swoon over, but how often do you think guys go crazy imitating them? Not that often.

To all girls/guys trying to emulate someone: Stop. Be yourself and find someone who loves you for that.

Apr 10 12 - 10:39pm
Andy Krambull

this is bullshit. new girl is a cute show and of course you need to comment that its bullshit becuase its awesome

Apr 17 12 - 10:18pm
Mateo

Cute article. Well written. She obviously does not hate ZD. IT is tongue in cheek that she is blaming her. I hate what I used to call the quirky girls because they always seemed so put on and affected, weather movies or real girls. I lov cool creative, but quirky I can do without.

But she misses a couple of major points in my opinion. Firstly, the reason dorky guys love the MPDG is because she is an attractive girl that in their fantasy, will be interested in them instead of the cool guy, and because she is approachable and they feel like she would not reject them like a real hot girl. Well, it is probably true. So they love a character who is hot but loves nerds.

Problem is, in reality, most hot women are not this way, and the ones that are, still end up with the successful guys with money, or the coolest hipster in the scene who is really one step away from the football captain. It is the homely girls, or the fat girls such as the one who commented above, who they are likely to get in real life, so they should pursue them instead of dreaming about a mythical goddess who likes the same dorky crap they do.

And if this author can not compete with the movie image, it is no wonder. (no offense intended) Who amongst us can compete with this fantasy played by someone with movie star looks. Most are just a hot actress in glasses. I m sympathetic. She needs to stop dating little boys and find a regular guy who is not into the same silly quirky things that do not define any of us. Instead, just be normal as you want to be and find a normal guy who has good qualities and leave all this affected crap behind. Remember, so much of what we think is our personality is just affected crap that we put on to try and feel unique.

The MPDG is even more so.

Apr 22 12 - 4:12am
sara

my exboyfriend loved this chick...hes my ex though...I had never considered acting "random" to get him to like me more though....in truth she is overrated and her quirk is fake. I think she is pretty but i just think she is totally annoying and does not know anything about weird or offbeat lifestyle...the guy i date now works construction and aint no hipster wannabee and wants to fuck pamela anderson lookalike sluts to which i prefer. id rather date someone who isnt a brooding fake intellectual to which attracts like minds.

Apr 22 12 - 11:07pm
jms

Or maybe its possible that we can all just be ourselves... Are we really this affected by characters

Apr 29 12 - 9:20pm
hi

Maybe it didn't work because you were trying to be something you're not. And that's never appealing.

Maybe you should stop complaining about these types you like and just broaden your horizons.

If I like strippers. But I hate how they like rubbing their butts on guy's laps for money... I'm not going to get mad at the guys they give lap dances to. I'm just going to stop dating strippers.

May 01 12 - 9:59pm
Charlie

The male version of this is John Cusack. Seriously, every teenage boy who's seen "Say Anything" has tried for at least a month to act like freaking Lloyd Dobler. Because of him I still primarily point at things with my foot.

May 02 12 - 10:40am
System E

I loved this article. Beautifully written and really funny. I feel your Zooey-related pain, she does my head in too.

May 23 12 - 4:48am
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Jun 02 12 - 11:25am
Zooey Fan

She DID realize how lonely it was to be worshiped. That is why she dumped Tom.

Jun 03 12 - 1:01am
dagon

I've been reading through the very lengthy set of posts since I found this article doing some research for a piece that I'm writing.

A lot of very funny, sad and insightful opinions going on here. Well done. A couple of points however on some of the major themes that I see expressed.

1. "New Girl" is a hit and to my surprise didn't make me hate Zooey Deschanel as I initially predicted (and I'm a fan).

2. Here's the thing ladies. You can't "try" to be a MPDG. That is a designation reserved for your suiters; either you have it or you don't. I'm quite sure Ms. Deschanel doesn't even know what her appeal is and that's kinda the way it has to be.

3. This is noting new. Here's a short list of quirky gamines off the top of my head that goes way back: Audrey Hepburn (the original imo), Winona Ryder, Thandie Newton, Audrey Tautau, Kirsten Dunst, early Meg Ryan (trust me on this you kids).

what's the common denominator? big eyes and a sense that their inner-monologues plunge depth that are hidden and mysterious. Of course these are roles and in most of these cases as we've followed their careers we've found out that it's all illusion. Where Zooey Deschanel really differentiates herself (thus far) is that we are never allowed behind the curtain. She is extremely adept at conveying the sense that this is not an act.

Hence the adoration

Jun 13 12 - 3:45am
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Jun 18 12 - 8:40pm
....

oh Zoey Deschanel....

Jun 27 12 - 12:56am
gardenlover

Yeah it must be hard ro think you are a hipster and lose your boyfriends attention. But on the brightside there are plenty of other movies to watch besides hitchhiker's guide. Try garden state, it is good when you are feeling down.

Jun 27 12 - 2:48am
Seanny B

This article made me laugh.

Jul 10 12 - 1:12pm
Husky

"Would Zooey Deschanel have sex after eating a bucket of chicken wings?"
That part made me laugh.
Husky Air Compressor

Jul 11 12 - 5:59pm
Skyline

If a guy is going to go on blabbing about how much he likes Zooey Deschanel, he's probably not that interested in you...

Jul 12 12 - 11:34am
gay reader : )

Would have felt better about this if you'd written "As a semi-quirky, semi-hip twenty-something STRAIGHT white girl, I am contractually obligated to sleep with these men."
...kept me from playful humor of this line, 'cause it's only funny if you're actually attracted to them.

Jul 22 12 - 5:27am
J.

I saw this girl in "Tin Man" , the series on the Sci-Fi channel quite a while back and I remember thinking she looked stoned or something. She just stared and acted like she was robot, even during emotional scenes. It was very distracting and unnerving. This year, I saw the same girl (ZD, apparently) in a commercial: she was standing inside a house looking out a window at the rain coming down. She asks her cell phone, "Is it going to rain today? /or/Is it raining?" and the phone answers her and she's visibly reassured that it is,in fact, raining. I thought the commercial might be a charity for disabled people of some type, but it seems that it was for a phone, windows or flannel pajamas. Why did they cast her instead of a 2 or 3 year-old; a person who would earnestly look at rain coming down but ask an inanimate object if it was raining and expect a confirmation. It was creepy.The vibe I got from this one rain/window/pajamas scene was across between "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" and "Psycho". This is not quirky action : this is borderline psycho for an adult. If the commercial had continued, I would expect the next scene to show her singing and eating chocolate cake while sitting next to a fresh corpse at the breakfast table. Again, like in "Tin Man" she is "off"-staring and lacking human expressions. It makes me wonder now if this is her true persona, and if she'll be on the 10 o'clock news someday when she isn't young, cute and weird-just weird.

Aug 02 12 - 5:27am
Fiction or Fact.

My boyfriend likes Zooey Deschannel and I don't really like the characters she plays.
But I still feel like I trump her as she is just a concept of all things cute and cuddly.
I feel like a lot of woman in particular cannot relate to a person that seems to be stuck in their teens while going on twenty-something...
We all grow older it feels like to me this character/person has never suffered any kind of hurt in their life. They have no flaws, nothing but perfection which is either very lucky or infact very misfortunate. It is not necessary to show this side of yourself to the world of course but it feels when nothing is visible that way it is too fictional, too processed, too fake to be true.
Like shes been raised in bubble wrap and kept inside till recent.
I know at least I am real and I have flaws and I am not perfect but because of this I know I am unique, I am different.

Aug 27 12 - 11:09pm
Cold Hard Facts.

The men (and women) who are attracted to Zooey Deschanel are not attracted to her personality.

It's all about physical qualities. Females (generally) look for leadership qualities and personality. Males look for sexual attractiveness.

Let's not over-analyze things too much.

Aug 29 12 - 12:55pm
Bobo

How can someone's all-time favorite movie be Garden State? The problem with this is that for whatever reason, being quirky held in higher regard than being smart or interested in science.

Sep 10 12 - 1:27am
Mel B

This article should've been titled: Insecure Hipster Girl Goes on a Pointless Rant.

Be sure to check out the next article: "I hate Channing Tatum Because I'm not Him and Girls Like Him."

Sep 15 12 - 4:23am
adam abu othman

I love Zooey for her uniqueness ,her hair style how she dress her music ,i say that she's old fashioned ,you don't find girls like that now days 'cause they all have the same hair style and wearing slutty clothes and obsessed with Justin Bieber and they're no fun at all ,they're boring trying to be cool , be cool in your own way , like Zooey ,she's herself in every movie

Sep 19 12 - 4:01am
Righty O Then...

You people seriously need to get a fucking life you spent time on here basically disrespecting someone, who you dont even know, she's never done anything to you in your life, and the person who wrote this article is looking to blame her jealousy on a celebrity, and did it ever occur to you people that she may actually behave that way because she is that way, and that kind of behaviour, just happens to attract guys, even the ones who say they arent attracted to her, to suit what other people think of them. Also to point out that the whole 'Manic Pixie Dream Girl' was a way to summarise characteristics of people in FILMS! For fucks sakes, the only people who dislike Zooey Deschannel, are unnatractive girls, girls who go out with morons, girls who cant take responsibility for their own relationship break ups or guys who have nothing better to do with their time than pretend to be different from most guys who dont actually deny something like this, Honestly what has Zooey Deschannel ever fucking done to any of you ? ...you people are the reason why I dont use the internet that much.