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What Would You Trade For 3000 Porn DVDs?

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What would one trade for 30 cases of dirty DVDs in the Year of Our Lord 2014? What is of equal value to 3000 six-hour long gonzo fucktapes?

A gentleman in Houston, Texas has a warehouse full of porn DVDs that he wants to get rid of through Craigslist. 3,000 DVDs, to be exact, of the “six hour long versions without storylines.” That’s a total of 18,000 hours of adult entertainment. He is not selling them: “I am NOT interested in cash sales. Trade offers only please.” Trade? Trade what? Please be more specific. “I am open to nearly any trade offers with the exception of live animals. Please email what you have and I will give it the proper consideration.”

Okay. No cash, no live animals. Got it. What would one trade for 30 cases of dirty DVDs in the Year of Our Lord 2014? What is of equal value to 3000 six-hour long gonzo fucktapes?

•    1 1992 Toyota Tercel


photo via Wikipedia

•    250 copies of Dennis Rodman’s second autobiography, Walk On the Wild Side

photo via Amazon


•    1 blow job, no eye contact

•    300 lbs. of Tamogotchis

•    20 used Fleshlights (clean, but used)
 

photo via Amazon


•    1 year of premium BangBros membership

•    5 years of unlimited broadband internet access

•    2 tickets to Badfish – A Tribute To Sublime, at the House of Blues, Houston

photo via Flickr

•    1346 lbs. of squirrel carcasses

•    44 Scream masks


•    An inflatable Miller Lite-branded blimp (may have holes), a water gun, 3 Nebraska license plates, a cool belt buckle, and a firm handshake

[h/t Daily Dot via Houston Chronicle]