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From: Wendy Zimmerman
President and CEO Big Day Magazine
Subject: Our New Manifesto
promotion
We can't say we didn't see it coming, the day the harsh fact would catch up to
our visions and dreams, a fact so heinous — on the surface — that it
seems to fully undermine the goals we've set for the future prosperity of this
wonderful magazine.
I was not happy to see the statistic garishly smeared
across the covers of Time, Newsweek, the New York Times, the Washington
Post, and every other cynical publication with which our hope-filled tome
must share rack space. But we've never been in the business of cynicism, have
we? First, the facts: the divorce rate is officially 100 percent. There's no getting
around it this time. Even our revered president and her husband are forced to
cope publicly with what most married people — now all — handled privately.
For the past fifteen years, Big Day struggled
while this figure floated between seventy-five and ninety percent.
We aimed to reach that ever-diminishing
segment of women who embarked on their first matrimonial journey with at
least a semblance of hope that this would be their only Big Day. But
we now face our fiercest challenge: how to sell a wedding magazine in a time
when the institution of marriage has been declared officially dead.
Well, I have good news. Our dynamo sales and marketing
department has returned from our emergency conference in Sonoma with a brand
new mantra, one that goes a long way towards reinvigorating not only Big
Day's brand, but our editorial aspirations as well. Here it is, and I want
all of you to print it out and post it over your screens: "A perfect wedding
has never created an imperfect marriage." In fact, when did a wedding ever
have anything to do with marriage?
So our first and most important order of business is
a subtle masthead change. Our publisher has decided that from here on Big
Day will be known as Big Days, emphasis on the plural. Just because
all marriages end in divorce does not mean people stop getting married. Eventually
a marriage will last, whether it's the second, third, fourth or fifth one. Fact is, people still die.
Now, I realize it will be a challenge to convince women
to have that first wedding. But what are we if not an imaginative bunch?
Carolyn, I'd like you to organize the front of the book
so "Accessories" reflects the idea of — well, for lack of a more
elegant
Our tone: the first wedding is an event, for
sure, but if it's not forever, why does it have to be perfect?
word — "recycling." For instance, find jewelers who melt
down old rings and refashion them into new bands. Can silk flower centerpieces
be stored and reused for another wedding? Cultivate a list of banquet halls that
can be booked in five- or ten-year intervals by the same bride, especially when
the location has sentimental value. Might these places offer a discount for multiple
bookings? We can only ask.
Murielle, the "Dress" section will be called "Dressing,"
not unlike the topping on a salad, which is not necessarily the main ingredient,
unless it's a Caesar, but I digress. Next issue must feature a fresh staff of
canny seamstresses who can alter the first dress into a stunning cocktail number
for a more somber second occasion, ripping off the sleeves for a carefree third.
I would love to see a full fashion spread featuring these artful concoctions;
our own Project Runway XXXIII, perhaps. Don't be afraid of dyes, feathers,
ribbons and beading. Think the wedding dress as something that's constantly evolving
and changing to suit the occasion — like a scrapbook, but you wear it. Perhaps
there are savvy designers already making multi-purpose dresses using Velcro tear-a-ways
and interchangeable jackets. Put in a call to the late Vera Wang's house. If
they're not doing it, tell them they should be! Big Days must set the
agenda if we are to stay alive.
The editorial possibilities for a magazine about weddings
in the time of 100 percent divorce are truly endless.
Vivika, I think "Protocol" will be a particular
challenge, one I know you're up to. We avoid discussion of the wording for
second, third, and fourth wedding invitations to our peril. But we must not fall
victim to self-effacement: there will be no Look who's getting married again! cute talk. Nor shall we cultivate a You probably think we're insane to ask you
to participate in an elaborate and expensive farce which will blow up in our
faces in a few months or years, all the while trying to keep a straight face approach either. Each wedding is an individual experience, completely unique
to the one(s) that came before. Invitations must reflect that. Why should the
third wedding involve E-vites to a backyard barbeque following a furtive city-hall ceremony, simply because the first was an unrepentant religion-fueled extravaganza,
paid for by the beleaguered father of the bride? Perhaps "Protocol" can
lead the charge in changing that tradition.
First, weddings need not bleed the
bride's lifetime wedding budget dry. In fact, it remains true that earning power
increases with age. Perhaps "Protocol" hints that new brides save the
engraved invitations, ice sculptures and orchestras for the third, maybe fourth
wedding, and the beer-in-buckets-and-a-dude-with-a-guitar for the first? Thoughts
only. But this was the kind of fresh thinking that emerged from several of the
Sonoma conference's innovative sub-committee groups, whose detailed memoranda
are forthcoming. Remember, it is the first Big Days that will be the trickiest;
your advice must fall between cute and cynical. We like the word celebratory.
It's got us this far, hasn't it? Our tone: the first wedding is an event, for
sure, but if it's not forever, why does it have to be perfect? This will elicit
a collective sigh of relief from our readers, a feeling that will bring them
back to this magazine every time they take yet another trip down that well-worn
aisle.
The editorial possibilities for a magazine about weddings
in the time of 100 percent divorce are truly endless, as are the number of times a bride
will believe that this time it will be different. We must never make this bride
feel ridiculous or naïve, however misguided and asinine her
thinking. No, she is the beloved woman for whom we write, the one who says, This
guy's different, this time we're the perfect match, this time we won't go to
bed mad. This time we'll cultivate better communication skills, this time we'll
both control our drinking, this time I'll get everything in writing, this time
no threesomes — not even to save the marriage.
So let us be inspired by these bright-eyed brides, the
ones who still hold on to the fiery notion that they, perhaps only they, will
be the exception to this sorry statistic. And, I say, God bless her stupid, stupid
heart.n°
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Lisa Gabriele is the author of Tempting Faith DiNapoli. Her second
novel, The Almost Archer Sisters, will be published in the fall 2008.
She lives in Toronto.
