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August 13, 2003
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| When I was eighteen, I went parking with my boyfriend Del, my best friend June and her boyfriend Ray. What I mean is that June fucked Ray and I fucked Del in the same car, at the same time. The first time it happened was an accident. We'd been at a formal dance at the school, and we all wanted to go parking and kissing for a while. The speed we did — in the  bathrooms just outside the gym — was still in our systems, but the whooshing of June's long, fancy dress and my long, fancy dress on the car seats drove us all over the edge. I think Del and Ray even came at the same time, what with all the rocking in the car and general excitement. After that, we planned the nights together. Each couple still had their private times — unlike Del, I couldn't come with the others in the car — but all four of us liked the feel of the extra kissing, sucking and nakedness going on. We went to the same cornfield each time, parked beneath the trees on the property line and drank a case of beer. We drank and talked until, by some cue, the touching started and the talking stopped. When we fucked, Del and I didn't talk to June and Ray, and they didn't talk to us. The only sounds in the car were small groans and sighs and sometimes the slippery sound of cock moving into pussy. We used either Del's or Ray's car, and we took turns being in the backseat. On this particular night, we were in Ray's car and Del and I had the front seat. After we screwed, I lay with Del between my legs, my knees opened as far as they could be between the seat and the dash. Two of our feet were up on the seat, and two were down there by the gas and brake. "I can't believe we do this,"June said from the backseat. I could tell from her voice that she was feeling silly. "I'm best friends with you, Vangie, and there you are." She and I could see each other — just eyes and the tops of heads — in the space between the seat and the door. "You broke my rhythm with all your humping," Ray said from the back to tease Del, and when we all laughed, Del slipped out of me, slip, just like that. "Now I'm cold," I said, and meant the wet place between my legs, but Del reached down on the floor of the car and gave me my shirt. "Cover up," he said. "I'm going to piss." "I'm out," Ray said, and he climbed off June. He and Del straddled the car doors, legs going through the open windows. They had to climb out of the car like that because June and I never wanted them to open the doors and make the light go on. We liked to get dressed in the dark, grabbing our clothes from the floor, talking and laughing. "Their asses look so funny when they do that," June said, and it was true. The whole side of the car filled with butt, and I couldn't stop myself from watching. I mostly watched Del, but I snuck looks at Ray, too. He had dark hair that almost looked black, but his skin was ten times fairer than Del's. He was taller than Del, and thicker through the chest, and I thought that made him seem right for June. When I squeezed June's arm when we were acting crazy or when I wanted to bug her, it was soft in a way that made me want to go on touching it. I thought holding her had to be that way, too, and that Ray would be good at it. "They look silvery in the moonlight," I said, and June nodded. She was sneaking looks at Del, too, but like the rest of what we did together, the looking June and I did at the other's boyfriend did not seem strange or unnatural. | |
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Commentarium (41 Comments)
I think this is a fabulous story! I really enjoyed reading it. Very good!
Well said
Very feminine, very sensitive. Beautiful.
Totally agree<33
have fun , buddy
Excellent!!
One of the best articles I have read on nerve.com
thus far.
Just as good as the "Prostitue next door."
I might have the title wrong but it dealt with a Japanese girl and her first time working at a massage parlor.
Her instructor...pulled out before he came. Maybe that rings a bell.
This article was well written and had a human quality to it.
Sweet Arrow.
Like the artwork of Charles Burns scrolled into prose.
This story reminded me of being young and unjaded in a real serious way. Like before play was dangerous because it couldn't stay that way and before sex stoppped being experimental. thanks.
It was wonderful. When I finished I was looking for where the rest was. And was there a book. I really enjoyed it.
Clear, cool writing about those first times. You can feel the characters being pulled to each other. I loved reading it. Will look for Swimming Sweet Arrow. This hit home.
This story was innocent and provocative at the same time. Loved it.
Great story, is there any more?:)
Provocative, feminine and involving. I enjoy stories about people exploring themselves. Also the erotism is very cool.
This was an amazing article and, in a general sense, depicts how I feel on life. All I want is for my life to stay the same as it is, forever and never have to worry about anything. The only problem I have is that I have no one to love, I date girls, sure, but that is only a small particle of what I truly desire in a relationship. I do, however have two truly dear friends which I would go to hell and back for, which makes me feel really satisfied with my life, no matter how hectic it really is, when I am with these two people, Damon and Danielle, I feel at peace with my future and I know that I will always remanisce of these days and cry, inside or out, over something that seperates our friendships. It worries me so much I almost feel like weeping up a storm right now. I apologize for the prolonged critique but I feel that I have opened my feelings to myself and to anyone who cares to read this. Thank you, and I hope that someday everyone will find their own "Danielle" or "Damon", or even a "June". Good luck. Kudos.
Brutally honest and real. Its reads like a memoire of someone who lived life
to fast and to hard. It reminds me of times I never had. I liked it a lot.
Thank you.
Very close to home, home being a decade away and the only thing left familar to me. Nicely done.
Very compelling voice, very compelling writing, very compelling sex. Glad there's a book -- I'm ready for more.
Eileen,
I found this on Nerve.Com... It looks like soemthing you told me about once. Since you said I could flick through intellectually acceptable sitee, I dropped an eye on Nerve.com, it has been at least a omth since I last "dropped by"?!
By the way my mum and Georges are at Lake Havasu. Have you any idea where that is?
See you in a little while.
I miss you.
I just finished reading this story. As soon as I finished I wanted more. The story was feminine and strong, and I loved every minute of it. I hope there is a moment in life that there are no worries. Great job. I will definitely go get the book.
Extremely well written. I kept looking for the next page. Mine is an older male's perspective and I found the story very interesting. I can say that nobody ever reaches the worry-free state of mind. And I'm not sure that is a bad thing. It is part of life.
blahso, balhdy blay. Ni no jay wanu.
What a lovely, well-written tale. I'd like to read more by this author.
Speaking from my point of view, I cannot personally relate to this piece. But as a third person point of view, I found it to be both provocative and innocent in their truest forms. Thank you for sharing such a wonderful piece of literature with so many people.
I can relate to this story. It's not my life, but it's the life I imagine for people I know.
Not bad. I wish it would have ended in the car...maybe drawn out a bit more...the switch to the apartment was a bit jerky.
Overall, a sweet, erotic, yet slightly depresssing story. I would like to read more about it and I think that's a complement.
cool ass.. That was nice.
G/
i loved it the first time that it was posted here, and i love it even more now.
sigh
great story. should have ended with the girls making out, though.
great story, i can relate, i've been there
Jesus, what's happening to fiction-writing these days? I mean, I know it's been on a long downward slide for nearly half a century now, but, it seems like the decline just got a lot more steep. When will you kids learn? Nothing you want to share with the world is remotely original or interesting or profound. If you want to write something worth reading (which only about half a hundredth of a percent of you will ever be able to do, in any case), then first go have an actual life for about sixty years. Meanwhile, remember: everyone already knows everything you think of as your own little secret.
This is a book that is ment for young adults not old fools and clearly you sound like one of them beacuse of the fact each author and book that is fiction has its own story and uniqueness...every book is not going to be the same...sorry to dissappoint you..if you dont like it dont read it..thats my theory.
Great story, very sensitive and well-told.
Thanks, Andrew
Contrary to more recent commentators, who seem not to be able to distinguish criticism from badly written personal attacks on the author, I found this vignette to be, to use the author's choice of adjective, sweet. Gibbon has captured much of the anxiety associated with an adolescent girl's maturity to adulthood, and in particular a girl's recognition of herself as a woman, a sexual being. Unoriginal themes, yes, but then is anything written about anymore truly original? The feelings described here are universal, and that in itself is enough to recommend the piece. The incidence of sex and drugs do more than add authenticity; rather, they underscore even as they exacerbate that limbo-like state in which girls act like women but are, in fact, still very "young and dumb." The characters enjoy sex unabashedly, without any of the accompanying insecurities, manipulations, braggadocio and other evils that adults so often exhibit. Forgive the academic mumbo-jumbo (or bullshit, as you prefer), but I use it because this piece is worthy of more thoughtful criticism than is found here--even if this is Nerve.com (which sounds like an insult but isn't meant to be). Writers and their work often benefit from readers' comments, but if the ones posted here are any indication of what to expect, the author may indeed despair of receiving any useful criticism at all.
I didn't really enjoy the story. I found it slow and uninteresting. These kind of subtle deliberately paced narratives need to capture some personal-psychological insight, and this failed to do it for me. Although perhaps I'm just not sensitive to the "feminine" tone of the story.
In response to the last comment, I think the "drugs" affect contrary to any sense of authenticity. It feels like bragging to me. Harkens back to the "sex and drugs" issue. You can't be literary, hip, or worldly unless you were addicted to smack or methamphetamine. It's a whole romanticization of drugs, even their vulgar, self-destructive character is exalted. And simultaneously than weary "drugs were the bane of my existence now I can be normal again" is such a cliche.
enjoyed the work. I would like to explore more about the idea of the group sex and the bi sexual themes that were hinted at. I really felt the author was relating how young women's sexuality can develop given the right atmosphere of trust and weirdness. this has the potential to be a novel given some character development and more research on the part of the writer. I usually dont like stories that depict drug use, however, in context it can work. Makes me feel like the character will later blame their evolution on the drug... or will change once they recover from their addiction. I know as a teen i experimented in similar manner without drug use... so i know sheer curiousity about sex can drive the character to seek out alternate expressions.
Where did you see this peak of bisexuality?
I found this story to be slightly interesting, but for the most part, too slow. With these kind of stories, there should be more emphasis on character development.
This was wonderfully crafted. It had a great pace, smacked of my teenage years and most importantly you've captured the bitter sweet quality of youth.
One of teh first pieces I've read in its entirety in some time. Nice.
That was a pretty tasty story. I'd probably admit to gettin hard.....normally, but I just had a nice thick & rich breakfast, so I just pretended to watch it as a movie. CARS.....jeez I need to request "Uh oh, it's magic" before the summer ends.
Now you say something