I thought this was a rather good article. Really gets the word around. I've really sick of people going up to me telling me I'm really bi when I know who I am. Who are you to tell me who I am?
Anyway, masturbation can be a part of asexuality, because they might like the feel of it, but not necessairly the genetailia associated with it.
--DDP
12/12 |
Wow - a friend of mine has just dumped her otherwise very much loved boyfriend because of his lack of sex drive. She's feeling hurt, confused, and upset. I'll definitely send this to her.
--JB
10/26 |
"uh...what? I'm sorry, but sexuality IS a part of life. It's how human beings have carried on. Being "asexual" obviously means you have serious issues- hormone imbalances, past trauma, etc. Get help!"
You, sir, are among the 5 most ignorant, retarded fuckers I have ever met.
--
09/25 |
I am asexual and I thought the article was great, especially for visibility.
--'Rax
09/23 |
Special thanks and recognition to Eli Kintisch for his groundbreaking story on what is commonly termed "Asexuality" (although also implicit in that word is the ability to reproduce asexually, so it may not be the best term.) Asexuality seems to be one of the last unspoken sexual taboos. I applaud Mr. Kintisch and Nerve for bringing this subject to the fore, and especially for the first-hand interviews with people who are Asexual. Once again, thank you for exploring this topic!
--HG
09/23 |
these kids are probably really hot
--cejj
09/23 |
For more than seven years now, I'm together with my girl who has a low sex drive. We love each other like crazy and we hug and kiss all the time. My girl's very romantic and loves me a lot but she doesn't feel the need for genital sex. Her love makes me feel loved, but sometimes it gets extremely difficult for me.
--HV
09/23 |
In ten years, I'd like to see a follow up article with these asexual twenty year olds. How many have happy, stable relationships? how many have kids? how many how many are serial rapists? you know, stuff like that.
--rym
09/22 |
Hey EVA and JCG - I found the article the author is referring to in 10 seconds, by Google-ing the terms "Dan Savage" and "nonsexual" together. You can view Andrew's letter at http://www.gay.com/health/sexuality/qanda.html?sernum=865. The next time you're tempted to open your traps, some helpful suggestions: a) stop and think for a sec; b) learn to use a research tool every 12-year-old is familiar with.
---cnn
09/21 |
Not everyone who claims to be asexual is though- if you masturbate you're not asexual even if you don't want to be with others. And then there's a lot of people like me- in a long term relationship, my desire has dwindled for a while. Pretty normal, and it's NOT evidence of asexuality because I now have a new 'friend' and I really really want to fuck him... but that would be cheating. This relates to the interview that's in the screening room at the moment by the way 'Is Monogamy Screwed'. As for true asexuals I feel like they are practising self delusion saying that they don't WANT to feel desire. It's just so good... but it can, like relationships, make you unhappy. And that is something we ALL need to be brave about before we can be comfortable with sexuality.
--ELM
09/21 |
couldn't find the Savage letter mentioned either. Interesting article, but the credibility is severly damaged when the author refers to bogus sources. Completely unnecessary too. Why don't the author get back to us on this one?
--eva
09/20 |
Thank you for your comments, ASK.
and, great article; well reported.
--NM
09/20 |
I guess I'm missing something (sic). I'm an older man and I continue masturbating, something
I've done since I was 8 years old through two marriages, including the present successful one.
How come no one mentions masturbation as an active and fulfilling part of being sexual?
It certainly can't be considered being "asexual." The drive and the pleasure resulting from it
are too strong for that, tell me where I've gone wrong about the word definition, or in any other
way that can be reasonably easily articulated.
--MRF
09/19 |
Yeah, Where's the fucking Savage Love Column about the gay asexual guy? A) Who does Dan Savage not light into, when given the opportunity to respond to some whining drivel-monger's pathetic excuse of a question about their own boring sexual issues? B) Not remembering this particular case (which I think I would have), I looked into the archives of Dan Savage's column and could not find it anywhere. C) Just incidentally, who the fuck is this "Andrew" character? Most of Dan's letter writers are signed in with anonymous acronyms that spell something silly. Well, I guess we'd have to just read the damn article in order to know, now wouldn't we.
Stupid Cunts.
--JCG
09/19 |
From m-w.com:
Main Entry: disinterest
Function: noun
Date: 1658
1 : DISINTERESTEDNESS
2 : lack of interest : INDIFFERENCE
---hb
09/18 |
note to the editor/writer: uninterested, not disinterested. disinterested is if you are unbiased or don't have any self-interest in a particular situation. e.g., a disinterested party to a lawsuit.
--
09/18 |
There is nothing novel about asexuality. As far as anybody can figure out, both Leonardo da Vinci and Sir Isaac Newton were asexual. It happens. Fairly obviously, it's not a major survival skill in the genetic sweepstakes, but it happens.
Less obviously, it can be changed. Any number of sexual hormones, or drugs affecting hormonal levels, can modify sexual desires.
There are fascinating ethical dilemmas here. Is someone who is contentedly asexual appropriately treated with such drugs? We will treat the mentally ill against their will...arguing, correctly, that they are resisting treatment because a symptom of their illness is their refusal to accept their illness. Those without sexual desire plausibly see the rest of us as meat puppets with our strings pulled by our hormones and want no part of it...are they right or are we? Does the question have meaning?
In the only real test, admittedly an accidental one, we have discovered that people treated for depression with SSRIs will not willingly give them up even if the drugs destroy their sex drives. Maybe the asexuals are the only sensible people we have.
--ASK
09/17 |
"I've been feeling asexual ever since I started prozac. Maybe asexuals have some sort of chemical problem?"
Personally, I can't speak for all asexuals, but I was apparently born this way. I've lived a perfectly normal (indeed, rather boringly normal) life, and the only medication I've ever been on was antibiotics and allergy stuff, LOL...
--mnp
09/17 |
I've been feeling asexual ever since I started prozac. Maybe asexuals have some sort of chemical problem?
--mjf
09/16 |
This article pwns. Thank you.
--LAS
09/16 |
i wonder if it's possible to be very sexual and then become asexual.... i'm feeling so lately, although in love.
--m.s.
09/16 |
I don't think starving is such a good analogy. It makes sense, but it's misleading because
but not having sex isn't going to kill you, or produce another equally dire consequence, and refreainign from sex is not a means to an end like starving yourself to death. The negativity and image of starving to death will speak to people who think asexuality is wrong/a lack/a problem more than the idea. Maybe a better analogy is someone who is a vegetarian, because they just don't like meat. And there are perfectly good ways to be a healthy vegetarian.
--imp
09/16 |
I'm glad this article was published. It shed light on my own situation. I think being asexual is a difficult concept for many people to understand. Here's an analogy I use: when some people starve, they do whatever it takes to get food in their hands. A small percentage of people prefer to starve to death, not because they're not hungry, but for other reasons. I think it is the "other reasons" that are of interest.
--c
09/16 |
You can't just say 'there's something wrong with them', that's been used to marginalize homosexuals, bisexuals, fetishists, and pretty much anyone who doesn't only want to have sex in the missionary position with someone of the opposite gender. Try a little harder not to sound so ignorant.
--YNS
09/15 |
uh...what? I'm sorry, but sexuality IS a part of life. It's how human beings have carried on. Being "asexual" obviously means you have serious issues- hormone imbalances, past trauma, etc. Get help!
--pp
09/15 |
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