The American obsession with September 11 just isn't shared by the rest of the world. I therefore find it difficult to
'get' the mindset this sprang from. Also it would be a pretty crap deflowering for her if there was no foreplay involved.
--elm
11/24 |
Realllly fucking trite. It's pure male fantasy. An easy teenaged girl, complete with blonde hair and blue eyes and an IQ to match the stereotype. Oh, wait, he didn't say she was stupid, he said she was "silly". Well, that's much better. How progressive. Not to mention the fact of the very probable outcome of a premature ejaculation for him and distinct discomfort for her.
But really, I have no problem with that, in itself. What makes it ridiculous is the pretension at the end when the author projects this naivete onto the girl. I mean, he objectifies her, but then tries to make it this transcendent event. But basically she's just a vehicle for his sudden jump into quasi-sainthood when he fears for all the little children. Bah.
--AM
10/19 |
lously ending come on a little bit dreamy don't you think
--et
10/07 |
I liked it but... I want an ending. I hate stories that just leave you there wondering. But good.
--MV
09/29 |
seems like the story could have used moderate editing, as it rambled needlessly sometimes. ...but good work using an ordinary vocabulary to say extraordinary things. while reading, i found myself either laughing or contemplating--never neither--which is a great thing. :) this is one of the best short stories i've read in awhile...
--lust
09/26 |
What is this? Catcher in the Rye, XXX style? This one-pager belongs in the trash heap.
You're a despicable, terrible writer.
--JAJ
09/25 |
perfect. short, clever, sharp.
--np
09/16 |
Dumb and pretentious.
Like all "writing"on Nerve.
--EFH
09/16 |
I like your story. Truely, I could feel it. I was in the Army during the 9-11 happenings, watching the TV from my bed as my wife held her pregnant tummy of 9 months. The very moment the 2nd plane hit, and the phone rang telling me to grab my bags and report to HQ, I held my wife, and admired every beautiful part of her body, my unborn son pressing on her tummy, and was scared that it might be my last time holding her. 2 days later, I thanked god as I went home, I wasn't sent... THIS TIME...
--JEH
09/13 |
......hmmmmm.... seem to have read something verrrryy similar sometime somewhere....
--jb
09/12 |
pretty damn funny!
--mj
09/12 |
Wow. Very very good. Thanks.
--HX
09/12 |
This riveting story is as urgent and timely as anything written right now. Unforgettable final paragraph.
--dp
09/12 |
This was great. Made me laugh.
--JD
09/12 |
um, didn't you already publish this piece?
--kp
09/12 |
Brilliant, funny and hot. My favorite nerve story in ages.
--OLT
09/12 |
Yah maan,
this good verry good
imaginative, creative, how is you say? process
--bt
09/12 |
Alvin (or his writer) hasn't spent much time with the Bible.
It's the Book of Revelation, not the Book of Revelations.
--eow
09/12 |
Pretty cool story.
--gt
08/05 |
Hahahaha! This is the single weirdest/greatest thing I've read in months...
--J.H.
07/05 |
I don't know what everyone else has a problems with, I find it very captivating.
--TJA
07/04 |
Why does this voice not ring true?
--msu
07/03 |
Profoundly captivating.. a strangely romantic piece.
--pg
07/03 |
Why does this piece, signed by a man, seem as though written by a woman?
--fl
06/30 |
The end of that sotry was really dumb.
--ejc
06/30 |
Ahh. NO! I want to know if they fucked or not. I want to know if the pastor walked in on them. I want to know if the TV gave the all clear and she freaked out and kicked him! I want to know god damn it!!
--sml
06/29 |
Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant.
--mph
06/29 |
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