PERSONAL ESSAYS

Reader Feedback on "The Art of Noise"

I used to hear my downstairs neighbor having sex so loudly that it would wake me up (9:00 a.m. Saturday or Sunday, always). It irritated me and turned me on. She'd really moan and scream like she was coming and spraying all over the place...but now I never hear them. I never pounded on the floor when they awoke me, but I tend to think now that the poor girl had been faking all over the place and finally fessed up...I hope she's learned to have real ones...Either that or their newly acquired dog has stirred up some boring maternal instincts, thereby desexing her.
--
05/20

hey liza, great article. my wife is a great moaner, and it is indeed a turn on. we live in a row house and although the walls are thick and well insulated, i know (or suspect) our neighbors can hear. i mean, if i can hear their 3 year old daughter cry from time to time, i know they must hear my wife when i am deep inside thrusting away. i must confess that i find my neighbor (the lady of the house) sexy and attractive. we when speak out on the sidewalk i feel a slight bit of subtle flirtation between us; not that either of us would ever do more than talk, but its is cool just imagining whether she hears us and it made me more enthusiastic lately in bed. allowing yourself to indulge your voyeurstic tendencies (whether visually or auditory) can really enhance your own sex life, i believe. "experiencing" other peoples (even strangers) sex is so arousing for me because it offers an "objective sense" of your own sex with your own partner, which can (with good, healthy imagination) be akin to actually being with someone else or another couple.
--pb
05/10

AAaaaaaaaaaah You go girl! Im like there...
--C
04/22

I would have to disagree with you when you say that noisemakers are no more sexual than silent partners. In my limited experience with 2 'noisemakers' and 2 silent, I concur that the noisemakers are definitely better lovers. For one thing they express the way they feel, it's the silent ones that you've got to watch. An ex-girfriend used to shout the house down, which caused me a bit of consternation at the time because we lived in a block of flats and everyone could hear what was going on, but now that I think back on it, bring it on is what I think, the louder the better. I sampled a silent partner after that and found that to be quite disconcerting because I had no indication of whether she was enjoying the experience or not. I should have seen the writing on the wall, but I was too horny at the time, her pussy wasn't wet - I cringe just thinking about it. It's easy to determine whether your partner is faking by the amount of lubrication she is exuding. I could have a bath in the noisemaker's juices, but the silent ones I run a mile from.
--DFS
04/19

yeah! noise is great as long as you know she's not faking it or playing it up....perhaps even really does want it all over her breasts and for it to be massaged in, as i experienced once, alas, only once!..has to go with the right body rhythms and pressure...as for me i just grunt with the occasional moan to say she's doing it right, hard to be articulate with the polished verbal prose at those times...liza, your great, i could make a few moans for you too...
--abc
04/02

interesting how all the feedback is either noisy women or their lovers who love it. how about men and their noisemaking? ive always been stentorian but only when i come, being near mute the rest of the time. id like to think that if there were no issue of being overheard id make noise all the time not just when i couldnt help it. the shame? that i think shuts me up is an interesting phenomenon, because when ive had really noisy lovers, i would not be embarassed when my neighbors looked at me askance in the hallway--I was proud!
--jsg
03/19

yes!!yes!!yes!! A quiet partner is a definate distraction.
--CD
03/15

hey is this true or did you just make it up. cuz if you did why? anywho that was some interesting stuff you wrote there.LOL. never thought about stuff like that before now.
--h.c.
03/07

What a funny article. It interested me because a group of students and women from my community (UL Lafayette) are performing The Vagina Monologues this weekend, and one of the monologues is about women and the different kinds of moans (the wasp moan, the militant bi sexual moan, the birthday moan)that escape their throats when they come!Personally, a little self-disclosure here, I LOOVE NOISE!! The more noise, the better. And, I don't care if people here either. I think it's fun and exciting - how sex should be. Not some vile secretive taboo.Peas.
--AMM
02/28

GRRRRRRRRR! I loved this article. I just joined Nerve today and I already love it. I totally get with the fact t that you care but only to an extent what people think about you and your lover. I am absolutely on hit with that. I am going to read some more of your articles. I like the way you think Girl. alright.
--lc
02/04

Speaking as one who makes a lot of noise, I can honestly say that it isn't always a voluntary response. I don't think about it, I just have to groan or moan, and when I'm coming I have to almost shout, it's so intense (the physical feeling)I need to release the explosion I feel inside of me. Yes,if I have to I can come quietly, but sometimes I'm concentrating on being quiet and it makes it hard for me to come. I feel constrained and inhibited and it can interfere with my enjoyment. I know for a fact that most of my lovers (present and past) love my sounds, itreally turns them on and tells them when I like what they're doing and when I am having an orgasm. I bet that most noisy lovers are like me, too.
--JC
02/01

My feelings exactly...I seem to become more turned on by listening to myself moan loudly while making love with my boyfriend. He loves to hear me scream also. It's sharing w/ your partner...no else should matter!
--tjp
01/31

great essay you sound like alot of fun keep it loud, it feels good
--jc
01/28

I love a girl that makes a low moaning sound in my ear and tells me in a low voice fuck me dady fuck me..
--RA
01/27

That was a cool article ..... I totally understand about not being able to hear yourself and relaxing.... I KNOW I am turning my partner on with my Lack of control.. It makes it so much more erotic. People that freak out over it have major issues.
--Liz
01/27

Ohhhh....yes.....yeeees......YEEEESSSSSS!! Why should anyone supress their vocal reaction to ANYTHING...be it happiness, fear, anger....or sexual arousal? It's NORMAL. As babies, we're encouraged to vocalize our needs...our reactions. Why in adulthood would you not continue?? Specifically on the topic os sexual noices, I don't think I would know if my partner was enjoyting themselves or reaching a climatic point if it weren't for the noises! Ok, so some of us can be a wee bit louder than others....but we're also the ones who have a "good set of lungs" in general. It's who we are. Don't suress your partner's expressiveness.....and you screams, don't let 'em....use your voice people!!
--Lil
01/27

Woooooohoooooo........Love the article
--JMF
01/26

my lover, a very sensual woman, is very loud when she gets aroused and the closer to cumming she gets, the louder she gets and during her serial orgasms she is loud enough to be heard for blocks (maybe an exaggeration, but not by much!). once, when we were engaged in some wonderful afternoon sex, my lover (i'm not sure she'd want me to broadcast her name, so i'll stick to the anonymity of "my lover".) was particularly loud as she came over and over. as it happened, some very nice people were delivering flowers just at that moment and were sure that someone was in very serious trouble in our house. so, they called the cops. a really very funny situation: i, in my robe, embarrassed but excited and amused, trying to convince the straight faced cops that everything was alright without actually saying what had been going on; my lover in bed with the covers pulled up to her chin, blushing furiously (she was completely naked beneath) and totally mortified, as she too told the cops that nothing at all was wrong. there was the cop standing in our bedroom, which smelled so thickly of sex. neither of them could possibly NOT have guessed what we'd been doing. when they finally left (i'm sure to tell the story to all their cop buddies), we giggled and laughed for and hour or more. eventually we shared the story with certain of our friends, it being way too good to keep to ourselves. thing is, i love it that she is so loud! i love to hear her build to a crescendo, to wail and sing and shout! it's beautiful! i would never want her to be quiet. of couse this causes problems when we stay with someone else or in a hotel: we feel constrained and usually don't have sex. it's just too much to have to dim her enthusiasm. and also, i've always been quiet in my sex, but, with her, i'm starting to be more and more noisy as i cum. it is exciting and it does add something to it all. don't stop making your noise! celebrate it! silence isn't half as exciting! -the kowboy
--j.s.
01/26

Hi Liza, I can completely relate to your article on "The Art Of Noise". My girlfriend is a very loud moaner during foreplay roleplaying & sex...when we first started dating I noticed that she would muffle her moans with a pillow because her last boyfriend (Mr. Boring) did not like others to hear them. I quickly explained to her that I personally enjoy hearing a woman moan while she is being pleasured in a any way she see fit. I can honestly say that I am a voyeur and exhibitionist as is she, and after three great years together we could care less about who hears us and at times see's us. We both live our lives to fullest while there is still life to live. We love your articles, and until then next one... naked hugs and kisses,
--SCM
01/26

Awesome story! I have always been VERY vocal during sex, though I do try to keep things down for my roommate. I think it's great to have lots of noise during sex, not so much for the enjoyment of neighbors but so I can let my partner know how good a job he's doing, and know he's having fun. Thanks!
--LS
01/22

i too am a noise-maker. with my "first" aka former fiance, i didn't start making noise until i was completly comfortable, as a result , my first big "O". a definite direct relationship. we began to turn the music on high whenever making love, due to the complaints of my roomies next door. so it wasn't my loud screams that tiped them off,it was the high volume sounds of shade. i was embarresed by my loudness since i am normaly a quiet person, which is what took my current kinda-girlfriend by surprise. but i have come to realize and accept my loud noise, it turns me on as well as my partner. it's also kind of my little secret, when someone says to me "your so quiet" i think to myself about just how loud i can be. thanx for your time and your recodnition to this "Art of Noise"
--FR
01/21

having gone to a fair amount of sex parties, it is surprising how many men stay silent during the act, while their women do the moaning. i typically get lots of compliments from women for being the only moaning male. couples tend to get next to me while i'm screwing to get off on the noise while they silently screw.
--sr
01/21

Amen sister! I love noise..coming from myself or my sexual partner. I married a man who made NO NOISE whatsoever when we fucked--never. After the end of that relationship, I have had increasingly noisy partners. Now, the man I share my noise with is so loud, I'm in heaven. Excellent piece.
--JDD
01/20

I agree to every thing you have said and have been trying to hide my partners mones and screams from others and find it hard some times, like with other people in the house and thin walls. {like you said} I think people should make noise it express your emotions only with grunts and mones, and to me it turn's me on and gets my blood boiling.
--MR.J
01/20

well written, love- what could be sexier than a high-volume approval? i agree with the music idea... i had this "young-stud" actor for a roomate when i was going to NYU who used to get laid more often than i slept- and i never heard a thing (except ridiculously loud music rattling the walls). ironically, i ended up getting kicked out of the dorm with one month left till graduation for playing my music too loud... keep the fire burnin',
--xtx
01/12

I also love making noises but a lot of people don't want to hear it (i know a girlfriend of mine who couldn't sleep anymore because her neighbours where having rough sex 3 to 4 times a night). As I also love music and loves to play it very hard, I am considering bying as appartment for myself and use isolation to soften the noise I make in my room. If you want to continue moaning loud, perhaps good sound isolation can solve your problem. Ask people who have music studios in town on what material to use. Hope this helps.
--KA
01/12

here here! though in my virgin years i was a decidedly silent practitioner of the solo arts (a habit borne of necessity- a thin walled house in a quiet neighborhood required discretion), i've blossomed into a bit of a screamer over the course of my ~2 year relationship... it wasn't until i had the opportunity to hear the sweet sounds my lover makes that i realized quite how aurally fixated i can be =) vocalizing during sex is a very sensual thing for me- i love listening to my lover, & i take equal enjoyment in cutting loose & letting myself make any sound that feels good... i've though seriously about getting into the phone sex industry- it sounds like my dream job! anyway, excellent article, i loved it =) here's to the screamers, long may we rattle the rafters...
--stdq
01/12

Thanks Liza for the article on noisemakers. I too am a screamer. I therefore love the outdoors which puts less restrictions on the amount, duration and octave one can reach during climax. I too find that verbal communication increases the pleasure for both of us. If I didn't have two (always curious, never sleeping)teenage sons at home, I'm sure our the neighbors would be regularly complaining; but unfortunately, I must clench teeth, bury my face in pillows, or completely shy from full gratification when at home. I am willing to listen to all who have come up with creative ways to continue the pleasure, but decrease the noise.
--dml
01/12

Yeah , Liza , yeah . Logic says sex is a physical act , so the more of the physical participates , the better . The voice-making machinery is part of the body ; why suppress it ? I have a lover (my EX-secretary) whose sexual performance is rather ordinary , but I do love the noises she makes when my cock is making her very happy , so I always cum back for more .
--JML
01/11

couldn't agree with the author more....she "nailed" it
--
01/11

a perfect description of why the ecouteur is more involved than the garden variety voyeur
--ps
01/11

I make a fair amount of noise, and I cannot have an orgasm if I "can't" make noise. Unlike the writer, it does feel like a phisiological respone to me. I don't really think about people hearing me, unless I am in a place where I shouldn't be having sex. Pavlovian maybe, but I can't help feeling like it has more to do with letting go completely.
--ir
01/11

Damn - I got wet reading that... Kisses.. A fuckin major noisemaker, babe_in_the_breeze@yahoo.com
--LJ
01/11

Several years ago a woman I had known for sometime became a widow. A couple of years later she and I got together, went out, had a nice time, etc. But she would not come back to my place because she had a son (11 years old at the time) and we couldn't go to her place because of the son. I didn't understand. She said it was about the noise. I didn't get it and settled for a blowjob that night. She barely allowed me to touch her. A couple of weeks later I get a call and she wants me to not only come over but to spend the night, hell, maybe the weekend! So I go. The son is at a friend's house for the weekend and we are there alone. And thank God for that! This woman, from the time her nipples hardened the first time, until we collapsed, exhausted, an hour later, was the one NOISIEST person during sex I have EVER enountered. I mean moans, followed by whoops, then yells, then screams, then back to moans that would move the foundation of the house! And she seemed to have absolutely NO control over them! If she was having sex and it was good, she was LOUD! Pure and simple! And she couldn't fake it, either. She was a bit abashed by it all and it just came out of her mouth, no matter what. As a matter of fact, any of you guys who have ever had a humjob, you don't know anything until you are in a 69 and get this one going. She was deepthroating me while trying to yell! Nothing like it! We had been friends for years and this was not a "relationship" but was good sex. That is all we asked of each other. I was happy to go over whenever she could get her son out of the house and she refused to have sex with him in the house. She was unsure how to handle the whole thing, what with the boy's father dying a few years before. I hope she was able to figure it all out. Haven't seen her for years, as I moved away, but I do think of her fondly.
--hmp
01/11

A responder to my ad on Nerve Personals allerted me to your essay. I loved it and whole-heartedly agree...I find of particular interest the "pavlovian" issue of trained noise making. How much of what women in movies, porn in particularly, began as a "front" of some sort for your non-professional and has stuck? I, like you, a noise maker first turned up the volume to both reward my partners and impress them with my "sexiness". Now, as a more experienced and mature woman, I have found that my moans are don't start as a manipulation and the work is to be silent. The excitement has become mine. But I digress...this essay prompted me to your others and I am now a fan! Keep up the good work.
--nkh
01/10

I've always been a screamer. The louder I get, the better I feel. Once my high school boyfriend snuck me into his room, and even though we tried the pillow trick, his parents still must have heard...because for Christmas they gave me a ball gag. They thought it was funny; I was horrified.
--mb
01/09

this is so true i could swear someone read my mind. i love to hear my own moans, i love knowing that others could hear me, and i have been so turned on by over hearing my roomate and her girlfriend, that i have had to wake up my girlfriend, or masterbate, just to quiet my fantasies. awesome article!
--hd
01/09

living life is like 'the art of noise' in a way...... i've lived loud, happy to be heard. God it feels good to be alive.....kinda like a celebration! living a muffled life, been there know it's name, game and shame. as if in a bed under a 100 sheets....it was only until after i started peeling each sheet away did i begin to feel & see my 'art of noise'.
--M.g
01/08

There is a lot more to noise than your article points out. Whether I am drunk, stoned, on a roller coaster, or receiving great physical pleasure, the experience is far more pleasurable when you can let it out, when you can ride it like a wave, and not clench down on it, supress it, and fight it by tightening muscles, holding my breath, and fighting moaning or screaming. Letting it all go, exaggerated breathing and moaning provides a release that allows one to fully enjoy the experience. Personally, I could *NOT* live where I could not moan and scream. In fact, heavy breathing, blowing, moaning and screaming for me helps to not only enhance, but INCREASE or even INDUCE the highest feelings of pleasure. Silent people seem to me to be repressed, and those silent women, and men, that I've been with, and introduced to breathing/moaning/noise-making have experienced pleasures previously unknown to them ;-)~~~ If you don't use breathing and vocalization in sex, start -- you'll be surprised.
--DE
01/08

Interesting article. Perhaps nerve could provide us with an audio sample, but no faking.
--pcs
01/08

great article ... i really enjoyed it and agree. while my current lover is toooo quiet, i lived with a woman who was as loud as you can imagine. stupidly, i asked her once if that particular round of sex was successful (she was quiet) and she responded that if i didn't hear her three floors away, probably not. it was good advice,
--maf
01/08

After I read this, I remembered all of my loud lovers. It made me smile. The scenarios that followed were almost always funny. I remember dating one woman (who I met on nerve) who was so loud, that the police showed up during one of our sex marathons claiming that someone called in a domestic violence call. Answering the door half naked with her fingernail marks all over my back and chest didn't help any either. They demanded to see her, and when she came over, she was fully naked! She told the 3 cops, "We were fucking, would you like to watch?" I thought I was going to die laughing. Two of the cops tried to retain their composure, but burst into laughter. The older cop somehow kept a poker face and told us to keep it down. The interesting part was, after I closed the door I asked, "Well, that's a first for me." She replied, "Not for me." Some might find loud lovers too noisy, or distracting. I say, bring it on. I love to hear that I'm pleasing someone, and I don't give a shit if someone else hears, or doesn't like it. Those who complain usually aren't getting any, or aren't comfortable with their own sexuality. Not my problem! I wear ear plugs to keep their stereo from keeping me up, so they can do the same if I'm gettin' some, I say. It's just part of thin-walled urban living. Deal with it, or be a hermit! Besides, who wants a quiet lay!? -Johnnyrandom
--JR
01/08

I absolutely love this. My husband is constantly telling me to shut up. I'm going to read this to him. "If I couln't hear it, I couldn't feel it." Exactly. Enough said.
--UW
01/08

well, i'm not a noisemaker. i'm what i politely term a "sigher". but maybe i just haven't had the incentive for being noisey... that said, i do find noise to be arousing. music is the big one for me. if there is good music on, i get immediately aroused. once, i was laying in bed stoned listening to Chopin on the "Inspired by the Film Impromptu: Music of Chopin and Liszt" cd, and i swear i was orgasming. music made me orgasm. no stimulation, or nothing. i have a greater appreciation for music now, that's for sure. :) maybe someday i'll make it to "screamer". great article. thanks.
--S.P.
01/08

I disagree with the statement that " Noisemakers are not any better lovers". I submit that by our sheer outward spirit we express. not to say that nonnoisemakers are apathetic lovers, reluctant however to fully allow the full expression of their passions, lack of zest if you will. Does being animated set us apart, yes! We who dare to roar,moan, cry, and howl. This is our song of passion from within not to be muted upon deaf ears.
--WMS
01/08

conceited
--sos
01/08

ehehe this is great. i got my b/f evicted because i was too loud. i live with my sister and if i have to listen to her, she's got to listen to me. i figure its payback for all the moths she was getting some when i wasn't. be loud, be proud.
--K
01/08

Oh how I agree with this. I'm a screamer. As if you didn't know I read this wondering and I think of muffled screams and of loud nights. But this is right, sometimes it is Wonderful to think that someone can hear me screaming. Others, like in a field in the middle of nowhere, those Orgasms are just as great. I have been yelled at for being the Loudest person in a campsite. I Scream cause it feels good and well I can't help myself.
--Bry
01/08

this essay would be so much more INTERESTING if it "came" with a sound file. i just want to hear...
--b-j
01/08

Right, right, right on. I'm naturally pretty quiet in bed. What _I_ appreciate is a lover who lets me know what she's feeling -- and a verbal cue is the easiest one to get when your tongue is roaming around a body you're only touching in a few places at the moment. A few years ago, realizing that I wasn't giving what I was getting, I started making a point to vocalize -- moans, gasps, "Oh fuck that's awesome"... whatever. To my complete surprise and pleasure, not only did my partner suddenly improve (well, DUH...), my orgasms began to get much, much harder. I loved your thoughts on WHY you make noise. Now I (and you, I guess) know why _I_ make noise -- and I'm glad I started doing it. Now occasionally I've got to remember to NOT. Hrm. ...grin...
--JDA
01/07

I am a screamer too. Too often my lovers cover my face with pillows, their hands or their...'quiet'parts(smile).In my apartment complex my neighbours look at me strangely.The women frown and the men leer. What can I do I can't help it.In college,one night my then boyfriend and I were carrying on so badly that the next day I was asked to leave the hall. I had a hard time explaining that to my parents. I still haven't stop screaming tho.!!
--Yogi
11/23

Bravo! And encore, as well! There is no parallel to having sex with a "noisemaker." In my opinion, the best feedback is a healthy orgasmic yell. Though only slightly "noisily inclined" myself, and then only when the "coast is clear," I love the times when both partners can really let it all out. I find that to subdue myself, or when a partner does likewise, it is like an unfinished work, like an automobile in grey primer. I, for that reason and others, shall never live in an apartment, condo, trailer park, or anyplace that would make it an intrusion on others, but what do I care that they know if I'm doing something right? I must assume any complaint be based solely on jealousy.
--HB
12/28

Loved your article on the art of noise. I too am noisy in bed and my ex used to try to see how loud I could get. Once my daughter came along, sex with noise (which had the greatest satisfaction for both of us) was limited. Now being single after a LTR of ten years, it is hard to find someone who enjoys the noise and can be noisy themselves.
--EW
08/13

I agree. Noise can even make great sex better. I personally am not a big noisemaker, although I do make some noise. But I love having sex with someone who makes a lot of noise. The first time or two with a real loud noisemaker can be so surprising it's distracting. But once I get used to the idea, I find the screaming and shrieking and yelling and loud gasping can really make the sex seem so much wilder and more extravagant. Here's to more noise in our most intimate moments.
--NG
03/12

Oh, man, now I've got the Bosstones song "Awfully Quiet" stuck in my head: "I like noise, that's why I'm living where I am - the sound and confusion of a traffic jam, the sound of a jet as it's shaking my dwelling. Raging! Rampaging! And screaming and yelling . . ." I know it's not exactly what you were talking about, but it's a good song. Maybe you should invest in a SERIOUS stereo system. Give the neighbors grounds for complaint. (I'm assuming that you aren't into, say, Mozart or Enya.)
--SB
02/19

I was "turned on" to your site by a respected colleague and am absolutely thrilled to find thoughtful porn! God it's about time. I just finished reading Liza's article about the noise in all of us - verbalized or not - and wanted to say "Thank You Nerve!" for a refreshingly sane perspective on the nature of the beast. Bravo, and keep at it!
--TB
02/09

As one might yell, "Oh, God, yes!" Sex can make us feel alive, but it's nice to have a little reaction from time to time, other than just a minor moan or shudder. Most of my (few) lovers have been quiet ones, but one time I found myself making out with a woman in a parking lot after a date. We were in the open, trying to be subtle, but I found she couldn't help but make noise when my fingers found the right spot. And her sounds alone made it more exciting and alive then any other out-and-out intercourse I might have had. To Liza, I say, you go, girl.
--KN
02/07

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