PERSONAL ESSAYS

Reader Feedback on "Turned Inside Out"

so very sorry about your mental illness and a baby soul..someday you will get it..hope you are not this tough on the poor souls that have to be around you ..remember..it could always get worse and does if we don't get it..just because you can describe something dosent mean you have to take a writing class harness it you have talent but no tact, no art. life is very very shhave had one all my life married a millonaire 6ft4in beauitful 22 year ort blessings k
--kt
12/23

I had been told that my life was going to be so much easier and I would feel so much better by getting ostomy surgery (mine though is permanent). I had Crohn's disease for over 30 years and cancer. I am writing, so that does mean I am alive. Now I just have to get used to the person I have become. Yep, it's a different one, with a whole new set of problems. Bags DO burst, eating can be a chore, and it's not always the cure for the disease. And, yep, I feel pretty disgusted by my own body (it wasn't the best - but ...) that it's hard to think anyone else will find anything attractive about it without feeling pity. I actually felt better about myself after reading this. Good to know there is someone out there who wasn't too keen about her surgery too. Bravo for someone having the guts (or lack of them) to write about it so honestly. And I am glad to know that she was given a chance to change it.
--KG
04/21

What a lot of self pity dressed up as humour. No thanks to the surgeon? what was the future without the surgery ? Death ? certainly self image is forever scarred, as is the body, but what about the poor bastards who are paraplegic & have to have an ileostomy on top of all their problems. There is no hint of inventiveness in undress, why display the bag, what's wrong with discreet sexy, covers & underwear. I've had an ileostomy for more than 30 years & played sport for most of that time, but would never consider exposing my bag or it's contents to the changing room. Whereas its certainly nothing to be ashamed of, it certaimly aint a thing of beauty. ive also been married for more than 40 years, & luckily my wife has always been totally accepting. There is a point about ileostomy nightmares, mine came when I deposityed the contents of my bag on the floor of a Ryanair jet disembarking at Carcassonne airport. Good job it was Ryanair. Its good to get your own back.
--
01/03

Finally! It is never easy explaining to a new lover about my body, but it was great to hear someone else's perspective on what I have gone through many a time. I left this article thinking that I wasn't as ugly as I thought I was. Thank you.
--jl
12/09

I have never before read anything like this. I'm surprised there aren't more responses from people who have had the same surgery as Jennifer, there should be enough of us out there that like reading and learning about sex from different perspectives... Yes, i had the exact same surgery, and i have pretty much the same scars as Jennifer. It happened about two years ago, right before I turned 18. i thought it would be a speed bump in my life, something that would put me out of commission for maybe a month at most. but it has taken me over a year since the removal of my appliance to regain my health. And i mean my true health, not the condition-posing-as-health during my bout with colitis. after the surgery, after going off steroids, i gained 40 pounds to get to 145 and grew two inches, and i'm still growing (i think. i hope...) every day i look in the mirror and think how lucky i am. This is my body. The frail shell i looked at two years ago was a skin waiting to be shed. On to the article. I liked it very much; many of her experiences i could identify with. Like why would anyone want to show off their stoma? inconceivable for me when i had it, and for her. I am not sexaully active, and i applaud Jennifer for going ahead with that part of her life while wearing an appliance. She didn't get the most out of it, but it's tough to be postive when you have something like that attached to you. But after the removal is where we differ. My surgery revealed what my body is truly capable of as well as opening up my mind to how corrosive stress can be to one's soul. I would gladly share the details with anyone i become intimate with; it has made me who i am, which is nothing to be ashamed of at all. I also had a much kinder and respectful surgeon; this helped my mindset greatly. all in all, great article and nice style. look forward to seeing more from Jennifer in the future.
--AHR
05/13

I've been married for 18 years to a man who had an ileostomy when I met him. At the time I didn't think too much about it one way or the other, other than wishing for his sake that he didn't have to have such a humiliating, disfiguring surgery. What I came to understand, however, was that having the ileostomy was the one thing that saved his life as he had been extremely sick with Crohn's Disease. He fathered a child with me (now 15), we have great sex (oral and genital) and he is not a bag walking down the street. He is a man who happens to have an ileostomy. He has counseled people about to have this surgery for years and until they understand that they are being given a wonderful chance at a pain-free existence within which normal sex and normal reproduction can be experienced, life is hell. The fact that surgeons can do these procedures and save lives and improve the quality of people's lives is a wonderful, wonderful thing. If you're in bed with someone who has a problem with the bag in any way, shape or form, you're in bed with the wrong person.
--ss
12/27

Read this it's a nice bedtime story that makes you cherish your intestines.
--MM
12/19

This is different. I spend much of my time cruising the Internet looking for Ostomy sites to add to my listing of sites world wide. I first read it and thought 'um! OK' On re-reading, I can see value in this article. It shows that yes, there is a psychological impact to having an Ostomy and that it can affect different people in different ways, the affect on Jennifer being one not normally expressed publicly (key words "not expressed publicly"). I think it is a worthwhile contribution to the Ostomy community, regardless if a person agrees or disagrees with the sentiment expressed, and have added it to my listing.
--RT
12/13

my god gal how brave of you. stay strong!!!!!! peace!!!!!
--ba
12/05

hola como estan !!
--JAB
12/02

I believe the author did a good job in telling us how she felt and being honest to herself and not letting herself feel what others felt just because they were in the same situation as her. Bravo!
--mjd
12/02

Thanks for your insight
--sr
11/30

this is a very well written piece. i enjoyed it very much. ms. gilmore writes with a fierceness and sensitivity that is not easy to find. bravo.
--ms
11/30

I have a cousin who had an Ileostemy at a young age. She was an attractive girl then(not that she's unattractive now, or because of the operation) but, something happened to her psyche. She was never the same(not that anyone could be the "same" after such an intimate invasion), but she became a colder, more selfish person afterwards. Just her way of dealing with it, I suppose. I gained a different insight from this story. It is one of those things that you wonder about. How would I be after such a thing was done to me? Looking at it as just another physical difference, like wearing glasses, or having a big nose gave it a perspective that I couldn't grasp on my own before. Relating it to an intimate act like sex really helped me to understand it in a way I never have before. Thanks.
--RH
11/25

Hilarious - I laughed so hard I almost cried. Jen Gilmore's wit and candor in discussing a truly horrific experience is refreshing. She's a fantastic writer - original, sassy and honest. I hope to see more of her work soon.
--PEZ
11/24

Like any of us and our imperfections, the trick is learning to accept it or continue to rebel against something that we may not be able to do anything about. You seemed so afraid, like that endless walk across the bedroom naked in front of your lover's eyes when you know your ass is too big and your breasts pathetic...and then you semed to have come around to the realization. In whatever way you could? And you realized that all that really essentially matters is that your alive! Screw everyone else.
--LB
11/23

Living the illness and ileostomy life at the moment. Though I live for the day they return me to normal, I know my scars for this period of life will be with me forever. Found the story very interesting and was intruiged by your anger at the treatment of your disease. Though I am not angry now, I know I will be when they remove it from me for good. Till then I bide my time and lie to myself that it's not that bad.
--NH
11/22

Why not buy a waterbed. This would help disguise the noises!
--GHB
11/18

I found this article wonderful. There an awful lot of people with ostomies of various kinds(called generally "ostomates") who have active sex lives. Yet there are also many who are held back from fulfilling sexual and emotional experiences mainly because of their ostomies. I am one of the former, but I'm quite sensitive to the latter. I have a web page with photos from some of my work that shows a bit about my ostomy, though I tend usually not to emphasize this aspect, since it is only one aspect of my art, butI feel inclined to share the url anyway. http://www.farm.net/~daak/files/photo.html And I hope you enjoy these works. Keep up the great work, I absolutely love NERVE, it's fantastic. -Daak Madison
--DM
11/18

I haven't had my large intestine removed---i am a male in my late 20s in recovery from leukemia. i was in the hospital for three months and when i emerged and got in front of a full length mirror i realized how emasculated i had become. how could my fiance (at the time) love me still, moreover, make love to me. as it turned out she couldn't. sex is wonderful now---the prednisone-bloated face is gone, the hair is back and so is the desire...most of the time. i'm trying to make that transition from clinging to life to living somewhat normally. anyway, thanks for the essay and helping me reflect on that period a year and a half ago when things weren't so wonderful. SRP -- spotter10@yahoo.com
--SRP
11/15

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