As a woman who is so tired with the superficiality by which women's beauty is judged, and frustrated at how women are judged by their looks, I appreciated this honest reflection on a man's breast obsession. Charming, funny, and real. Good job.
I think some of the negative criticism is actually a backlash against a lot of the objectification of women that exists. Please understand that women have to deal with so much BS that we can become very sensitive to any discussion of our bodies by men.
--av
12/18 |
I discovered today your magazine and of course I was thinking about giving you a feed-back. Well, first of all, I read your article about breasts and it was really amazing.
I appologize for my English, but it is not my native language. I read also other materials from your magazin,but of course, it is more interesting writing to a man than to a woman.:)So, I think I should congratulate your female colleagues too, who are doing a great job.
I live in Romania and I work to a regional newspaper as an editor. Well, to the Economic Department. But, I am really interested in the communication between the genders.
So, I think that all over the world there are two things that interests everybody, in the good way. Sex and Having fun.
In Romania, even if it is not the end of the Univers, we have a huge lack of communication concerning the first subject. And this is really a problem for the society.
I tried to write materials about the differences, which in my opinion are not so high, between men and women, and I had to face many difficulties in answering to the issues from the others. This happens, because, for us, talking about sex is still a taboo. And this is really a problem. The couples are not willing to communicate and they sometimes are facing big issues, by not knowing thier partners. Unfortunatelly, if the couple doesn't work how can a society settle its values? And this lasts from ages...
Of course we have now the magazines from abroad and we can learn something about what is going on in the history of humanity which is happening right now, but unfortunatelly we have still a different society.Romanian women are not willing to apreciate themselves and this is too bad for the beauty of the realtionships.
So, I really liked your article. I know that breats are important but I never found such a description of man perception regarding this part of a woman body. It is an amazing writing. And also I think the statemant of your
magazine was very interesting. This kind of materials are making a huge step for knowing not only the moment in time but also in space of women and men behavior.
You can see that I would like to say more about the differences between us and you. Not you as Americans, but as the Nerve, but I think your time is pretious so, I better leave it for an other occasion.
Good luck with your work and have a great week-end!
--oc
05/04 |
The problem runs deeper than misogyny. Or rather, what this editorial reveals is an interesting paradox at the heart of Nerve. The magazine wants to maintain its grad school dropout aura of self-importance and at the same time turn a profit like Maxim. Obviously, the two run into conflict. At some point, whomever backed this venture--and its dead on arrival print version--is going to want to see a profit. My guess is that soon Nerve will go the way of Kozmo.
--z
05/03 |
the little statement "Nerve" has about sexism ...
and they do an article like this...
this is pure crap to me...
how they dont tolerate it!?
Give me a break....
what a bunch of bullshit Nerve really is pathetic! sometimes with its contradictions!
--NbM
05/02 |
you sad and fucking immature individual
im sooo sick of men like you
you are not ever going to trully have love or appreciation a woman.
you really should find alittle more respect.
to you its all games and your stupid obesession will definitly keep you from being a real man and having any kind of true loved relationship.
so over all I hope a woman crushes you and good luck with your boyish and retarded mind.
Society grew you
Of course that shows NO originality what so ever LOL!!!
--
05/02 |
from the woman on your receiving end, i'm not only glad to have been able to provide you with the necessary tools for your research, but wanted to commend you on a most brilliant piece and assure to the ever bitter SB that your squeezing is not only quite 'right' but represents the perfect appetizer to our six course meal....
--a
04/30 |
I am a female who barely had breasts until some medicine for an injury made me gain weight. Now, at the age of 30, it is like I have suddenly blossomed, and I feel like Rufus, except adoring my own lovely breasts, amazed at their gentleness and beauty. My breasts are still on the smaller size, and I prefer the subtlety that doesn't completely detract from the overall beauty of the female figure.
I know I will stop taking this medicine soon, and these lovely breasts will suddenly dissapear with those extra pounds. But I do marvel at them daily, holding them, reminding myself of their comforting feel. I will miss them.
Men, I understand you now. Men and women both, I implore you to go against cultural pressure and enjoy the natural beauty of smaller breasts--and the beauty of all naturally sized breasts, undistorted with pushup and wonderbras--forcing them to be excessive, or something they are not.
Let's let our cutlural admiration of breasts not mean large size at any cost. Down with implants!
Now excuse me while I fondle...
-Late Bloomer
--lb
04/28 |
Thank You for writing the "piece" on "grasping breasts and loving it". I am 49yrs young and I thought I was "strange" because of my "eternal need" for squeezing breasts,but after reading of your "fixation",I CAN PUT MY MIND TO EASE!!! Please make sure that you have "permission" from your intended target,(girlfriend/wife),before you get "started",so you can put "maximum effort" into your endeavor. I hope this is a "permanent reality".
--popS
04/27 |
one rack mind
--rk
04/26 |
zc -- did you just get out your little dictionary and try to work out some bitterness ? the def. of synechdoche is not nearly as constrained as you suggest. dictionary.com says: A figure of speech in which a part is used for the whole (as hand for sailor), the whole for a part (as the law for police officer), the specific for the general (as cutthroat for assassin), the general for the specific (as thief for pickpocket), or the material for the thing from which it is made (as steel for sword). the writer is referring to the breast, in the moment of groping, standing for the whole of the female, the specific for the general. once you get over yourself you may find you can appreciate a good read ...
--tvr
04/25 |
Leave it to Nerve to make even breasts ponderous and boring. What other magazine would feel the need to drop "synecdoche" into its editorial? And to misuse the word to boot. A synecdoche is when a part stands in for a whole. (E.g. "all hands on deck" or "nice set of wheels you got there.") One never refers to a woman as a "breast." One may think of breasts when one thinks of a woman, but the proper trope in that case is metonymy, the trope of contiguity, not substitution.
My point is neither to quibble nor to be pedantic. I wish to point out, rather, that synecdoche serves no expository purpose in the editorial, and that it is there simply for ersatz-intellectual window dressing.
When will this tedious artifact of the dot.com bubble finally go out of business?
--zc
04/25 |
you may have 'out-reproduced' us, but those of us who lack a breas-fixation are far from extinct. but it's good to accept one's own predelictions...
--mjl
04/24 |
That's an adorable article. Smart and gracefully-put. I too am obsessed with breasts, all kinds of breasts, but the twist for me is that I'm female and I have a pair. I play with mine all the time, peeking at them, feeling them. I adore other women's breasts and though I have a girlfriend I don't always have access to them, not 24-7. I often feel like a straight man who says that he would, given the chance to be in a woman's body for a day, spend a lot of time feeling his/her own boobies. It's a little crazy. Thanks for the lovely insights.
--SB
04/23 |
rufus, i think this is a very sincere, heartfelt piece. don't let the criticism distance you from your natural humor and charm. my only criticisms are
1. you usually don't squeeze mac & cheese (though who knows what table manners you are refering to)
2. "out-reproduced" does not hit the mark.
3. more on the corporeal eco-system. you lead us down an interesting trajectory then, drop us off at "some seriously powerful stuff." a bit of a cop out, no?
otherwise, i enjoyed your honesty and the hilarious parallel to scientifiic inquiry. it gave me the giggles all week. carla
--cbg
04/22 |
Best sentence in this excellent piece: "... I resented the sway that women and their bodies had over me — it made me feel pathetic and sexually needy (a far more deep-rooted and prevalent condition among men than most women realize). " God, so true. I wish every woman could read this and really understand it.
--md
04/20 |
I liked the piece. Why can't a man write a piece about enjoying a woman's body without getting harsh criticism? What if this were a woman writing about her boyfriend's dick? I bet there'd be far less criticism.
--p
04/19 |
oof, ouch, and thanks for the backhanded compliment if that was one ... the accusations of self-indulgence surprise me ... assuming you are referring to the sentiments expressed rather than the prose (which pleads guilty as such) ... i thought the piece was on the humble side but there ya go ... in general i think there is a lot more humility in the male experience of sexuality, even (perhaps particularly) when its overt and groping and predatory-seeming ... perhaps my expressions of humility didn't come off as sincere ... my primary agenda was to tease out the humor in part of my experience but somehow i seem to have come off like Andrew Dice Clay impersonating jeff foxworthy ... rufus
--
04/18 |
shallow and self indulgent. based on your other essays mr. griscom, it seems you've sadly taken the low road with a lot of short cuts on this one.
--
04/18 |
WOW!... everybody take a deep breath...sjf couldn't have said it any better.... it was wonderfully descriptive and funny. i wish that i could write like that!
--wtl
04/18 |
Nit, thanks for your slightly more merciful follow up note … its funny that you mention foucault … I was quite obsessed with him in college, and continue to find his outlook compelling … that said, the decade I have spent since college reading now and then about neuroscientific discoveries , and the additional decade of personal experience have causedme to conclude that focault underestimates the power of biology in his understanding of sexuality … this is not a popular position nor one that one choses voluntarily … I enjoyed, as you appear to, the freedom implicit in the foucauldian view … who wouldn’t want to see gender as cultural construct that we can cast away like a halloween costume ?… crass, boob-addled guys perhaps? not this one … thanks for your thoughts , rufus
--rkg
04/17 |
gag me with a spoonful of politically correct bile. this is an elegant, endearing little essay. lighten up.
--sjf
04/17 |
sorry for the vitriol. i guess i get uncomfortable when people advertise their sexuality for some sort of validation, in a classic type of "confession" format. there are other much more fruitful ways of posing the viewpoint of the absurdity of sexuality but they may involve questioning parts of oneself previously un-touched. this may be disconcerting for some people.
go read some foucault. you don't have to agree, but just think about it. then discard at will.
--nit
04/17 |
ouch ... alright ... shall i re-muzzle my inner frat boy? i knew i was headed for trouble with this one ... SB, could i have made it any more clear that i was describing regressive, pre-adolescent, imbecilic behavior ? meant to be humor, a break from ponderousness, but clearly too much of a break for you two charmers (i mean valued readers ...)-- rufus
--rkg
04/17 |
i just love pseudo-poetic platitudes like "we're a species separated by chromosomes"! i can't get enough of that short-sighted view of human sexuality! gimme some more! and there should be more essays with out critical viewpoints! do away with critique! after all, we're programmed like this, right?!?!?
speaking from the viewpoint of a person who just happens to have a penis, this essay insults my intelligence and sexuality. "it's just the way we are!" isn't that sweet?
--nit
04/17 |
SB (below) seems REAL bitter. Easy there killer!
--SM
04/17 |
here is what you would do it allison and me to petra
paul
--pc
04/17 |
I have an alternate title for this piece: "Dr. Titlove, Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Maxim Magazine."
with apologies to Mr. Kubrick.
--DR
04/17 |
this is a belated april fool's joke, right? I mean, come on, what's happened to nerve's "thoughtful" essays? It's like your editor really tried to dig deep...with a kid's plastic beach shovel! Two major flaws: not even a nod to the fact that breasts are a sexual zone FOR WOMEN too (hello, selfish lover); and with all this squeeze, squeeze, squeezing...you're doing it wrong (hello, twelve-year-old boy).
--SB
04/17 |
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