REGULARS

Reader Feedback on "Miss Information"

Ex is Ex 4 a reason. There is no need to keep in communication. Feelings will come back or it is too convenient to screw. Once in pant, access gets easier. Love don't pay bills! She will leave you!
--SV
09/24

Thanks for the link re: Brandon Davis! Cheers! Steve aka Whup-Ass Master aka WAM http://canofwhupass.typepad.com
--SRC
09/20

I agree with ABC. Anyone who thinks they don't have to cut ties with the exes to have healthy long term relationships is sadly mistaken.
--ABE
09/19

Blue Collar Blues, let's forget the rich/poor thing for a moment and look at this from a different perspective. Your girlfriend's father has plans for her and wants her to be and act in a certain way. She doesn't like this chosen path and wants to be her own person. Dad gets mad and says that if she won't do as he wishes, she'll get no more support from him. She says "Fine!" and stalks off to go her own way. Sound familiar yet? Thousands if not millions of young adults are in a similar situation. Most of them wind up establishing themselves in their new lives, and eventually reconcile with their parents, maybe years later, but of course, it doesn't always work that way. I can't guarantee that she won't miss being able to jet off to Paris for fresh croissants on a whim and slink back. However, give her some credit for her bravery in doing this in the first place. A lot of born-rich people (not the self-made-rich ones) are absolutely terrified that they wouldn't be able to survive if the big fortune went away. (And the way the markets have been behaving lately hasn't helped much.) The fact that she's there with you now is a big step. She knows you're not going to be able to afford the things she had growing up, and that's OK. Just support her as she settles into her new lifestyle and discovers herself, and let her know that you'll be there for her if she never speaks to her family again, or if she eventually wants to mend the fences.
--JCF
09/18

Blue Collar Blues: Unfortnatley, it looks like things aren't working out between Dan Humphrey and Serena Van Der Woodsen. They still love each other, but their worlds are just too different!! Sorry, I just couldn't' resist. Good luck to you crazy kids. Focus on why she loves you--the more you dwell on the money thing the more it will creep into your relationship. Support each other, and you'll find your own success together. And if you find yourself without a job, you totes have a future as a Gossip Girl screenwriter.
--JO
09/17

I have a number of exes as friends (and ABC, anyone I was dating who tried to tell me with whom I could and could not be friends would be dumped immediately), and I was always up front about them with whoever the current girlfriend was. Miss I's advice is spot on. Guiltily Jealous, you're feeling that you're the "excluded third," with the boyfriend and the ex having information you were denied. You're justified in being upset about that, but the lesson to teach your boyfriend is to be up front with you -- what's upsetting is not the truth, it's the omission of truth. For BCB, I disagree with Miss I that you should push your girlfriend to reconcile with her father. It's not your business, and pushing her could alienate her. Your position should be, "I support you in who you want in or out of your life." If she understands you accept her for poorer or for richer, I'm guessing she'll stick around -- it sounds like, more than anything else, she needs to be accepted for who she is, rather than, as historically, what she had or has.
--REM
09/17

Guiltily Jealous, The bottom line is men and women should cut their exes loose and focus on the partner they're with. The fact that your man won't/can't shows he doesn't respect you and/or is too immature to fully invest in developing and maintaining a healthy, loving relationship with you. Also, your timing is late. When he wanted to date you exclusively, that's when you should've asked him if he still regularly stays in contact with /sees any of his exes. If he had said yes, you should've said that you prefer to keep things casual. He'd have gotten the message. If he had said no, and you later caught him in a lie, then you cut him loose at that time for breaking your trust. And, yes, if the situation were reversed, I'd recommend the same course of action to him. Now that you know, I'd tell him he either ditches the exes or you start dating other guys. This isn't jealousy; it's respecting your partner.
--ABC
09/17

My current BF doesn't always know when he's meeting an ex. Some of them I dated for less than six months more than 10 years ago. I don't think of them as ex's; I think of them as friends. If it came up, I wouldn't deny it, but I wouldn't expect the BF to make some kind of stink over it either. Some of us know how to be friends with the opposite sex and some of us will never be able to deal with it and the two types maybe shouldn't date.
--DA
09/17

The first story reminds me of the time when my ex-boyfriend did not invite me to his wedding citing "ex" factor. We were friends (and I thought close friends) for 2 years prior to the wedding. Another ex got invited though, and I had been told that the fiancee said "No one you dated for more than 6 months!" - which was the category I fell into. God, was I pissed at him! Who needed to know how long we dated? What if it was 5 months and 29 days? I never got over my grudge, really.
--NU
09/17

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