DISPATCHES

Reader Feedback on "Male, Female, Other"

Your an incredible person and I take my hat off to you... sex is such an important part of most adult people, yet you have found your own way of dealing with it...I can not phathom the depths you must have reached in your life, yet i respect and admire your courage... all the best...aussie lad here...cheers peter
--psb
10/06

Enjoyed reading the article on Sherri Groveman and this other person. I too was born Intersexed. I am 46XY and was raised a a female from birth and have taken HRT since the age of 11 yrs. old when my surgery was performed. I had to use dialators to lengthen my short blind ending vagina but other than that have experiencd no real difficulty being born Intersex physically. The worse thing I have experienced is the lies, secrecy and shame associated with it. Was lied to by my Dr. and my parents(because my Dr. convinced them that if they told me the whole truth I'd commit suicide or crack up). Neither of those scenarios are true. I have been married now for 30 yrs. to a wonderful man and have a great life so for the rest of the Intersex Community and People there is life at the other end of the tunnel. Don't give up. Thanks for allowing me to share my story.
--VH
08/14

????is it possible for a hermaphdrite to have normal sexual relationship and if a male to father 2 children
--bh
08/27

Terrific piece! Right up there with The Sexual Brain -- thanks!
--WAH
07/26

Hello. Your article says this: "The resulting organ is no more than four to six centimeters long and is not adequate for vaginal penetration, but it is erectile and it usually has good erotic sensitivity with the capacity for orgasm." But what about anal penetration? Articles about this subject never address that idea. If i was a boy, i would do that, i wouldn't have sex with girls. And is the length measured during an erection or not?
--gb
05/22

To add to my previous inquiry. I belive there are gay birds, gay dogs, and other gay animals. I recently have noticed the the colors of god to be gold and blue. I have also noticed queer birds, several times a group sitting on one pole while one sits on the other. THE SPECIAL BIRD. At night just when i went outside to have a cigarette i heard a bird, a lonely one crying out in the dark alone. I am bipolar as well, i take my medication so i am ok.i am not manic nor depressed right now, nor crazy. What i speak i believe to be the truth. I have healthy balanced diet i sleep eight hours a night and i exercise 3/4 times a week. Please get back to me, I am hungry for the truth. bb. brian41680@yahoo.com
--bb
12/06

hello simon, my name is brian. i am an intx, but considered an intp by the meyers briggs evaluation. in a search for self i tried everything by the enneagram theory i am a type 4 with a 5 wing, and i feel i have sucessfully moved into a healthy one. I am still gay, but i am assuming a celbant lifestyle for many reasons. I am jewish and attractive, but i try to maintain a low profile because I don't want iggnorant people to think i am jesus christ or anyone else. I have noticed trends in popular music, since childhood i have been fascianted with gay musicians. lately elton and george m. Elton is a pisces/aries, essentially ice on fire, perhaps a young discpile or an old re-incarnated apostle.He is the star in the book of destiny. Along with psychology i have emersed myself into astrology and i observe the outside world. I have a penis,so i know i am a man, i don't feel like a woman but i am attracted to men. I have come to a conclusion. That christianity is somehwhat of a flawed experiment. Jesus christ himself was an unhealthy intx, a negatvie type one,by the enneagram, he was morally condeming, hence the red lining in the new testament. Many men have tried to be christ like, including many gay and straight ment alike. We are all human it is almost impossible, but i will never say never, nor will i say yes. I would let christ live because he is iggnorant, but the only way i did find god was through him , after being chased for years by the very iggnorant people that believe he is the son of GOD. so i am a believer and i believe that from what i have learned christianity is the best relgion and that it is the future of the world. After this recent tragedy east and west will combine into one, to prepare for further more advanced discovery into space. I HAVE FAITH. However that brings me to my second of three questions/observations. Are gay men born gay. xx,xy, right? but if men have 2 x chromosones and women have an x and a y then we assume that gay men are not born gay. but then why do some men go back and forth, others are steadfast in their gay born belief theory and some are heterosexual. then i come here expecting a some dissertation and all i see are pictures of individuals who have both parts, there is more to the picture then xx and xy. the original theory was wrong to begin with. I would like to be your student Mr.levay, because as far back as i can remember i felt wierd. I didn't feel i was gay until 9 but from a very young age i felt different like boy george putting on costumes at age 5, things of that nature. I am intelligent capable and my quest for the truth is unstopable. I still sleep at night but with every anwser comes a new question. I would like to meet you and help you in any way i can. With love, respect, and admiration. Brian Jonathon Beal
--BB
12/06

Again, I'm doing this! Why? I could also add that babies will go into shock and slip into a semi-comatose state, which the doctors often misinterpret as the baby not reacting to the excruciating pain of circumcision. What person with a conscience could do this, much less do even more extensive operations on babies, which it sometimes leads to. Most people don't think of circumcision as amputation or harmful, even doctors, who usually don't know what foreskins are for in the first place! Go ahead and read below and see for yourself what it is and what it does. It may surprise you.
--xy
10/12

I would also like to add that circumcision is very dangerous, leaves babies in excruciating pain, very often does irreversable damage, and the pain alone (babies are more sensitive to pain that adults) often causes them to cry so hard that air from their lungs gets into their chest cavities, their heart may fail, and their intestines might rupture. Anasthetic is even more dangerous. The baby suffers a lot of trauma and may not want to brestfeed after ten minutes of being strapped to a board, have its foreskin peeled off and crushed and cut. The foreskin is very sensitive and slows him down in bed, and sexual contact is much more enjoyable for both partners, as it makes things go smoothly. The glans is not meant to be touched, even by clothing, soap, or sex, as it has no skin on it, and the foreskin, which makes up half to two thirds of the skin of the penis, is completely fused to the glans at birth. It is attached at the base of the penis and to the head. Doctors often think that this is abnormal, or is phimosis, and order it cut off. Phimosis is impossible to diagnose until the foreskin has separated at about age ten or so. The twins which had circumcisions for phimosis when they were babies was obviously a misdiagnosis, although it is a common mistake. Doctors in the U.S. know very little about foreskins, and so misdiagnoses like this can lead to loss of penis, as the person in the article relates. What's more is that the open wound on the surface of the glans invites memingitis, tuberculosis, gangrene, and all sorts of other diseases, especially since it is exposed to 'diaper gravy.' The foreskin actually is for protection from infections, and removing it and allowing the glans to harden, instead of being red and shiny, does not help. Furthermore, the secretion called smegma is actually more common in women, and women get more infections than men, but they are not circumcised for 'medical reasons.' What irony! Smegma simply aids the growth of new cells by getting rid of old ones, and serves as a lubricant. Not only that, but doctors usually don't know that the foreskin requires no special cleaning, just relax the foreskin muscles and pull it back and rinse it off. It's that easy. A lot of doctors tell parents who have uncircumcised boys to pull back the foreskin, but this is not possible for very young children, and often causes infection or injury. I can go on and on, but those are the basics that everyone, and I mean everyone should know, especially doctors.
--xy
10/12

Another method of becoming intersexed is if you were born a boy and have a circumcision accident. There is a problem here. Parents do it for medical reasons. As far as I have found out, people who aren't circumcised have the same probability of those who are of getting cancer, unless they don't clean themselves. There are similar statistics about likelihood of infections. They also say the same thing about female circumcision, but if women in this country are not circumcised, why does it have to be the men? I have even heard of R.E.C.A.P. a suport group for men who don't like being circumcised, where they can get reconstructive surgery if they want. I would guess most parents do this to their boys without thinking, because other people do it, or they don't know about this. Circumcision also is of no benefit for baby boys and can lead to loss of blood (or penis) to a large extent, infection, or death. I think this is something Americans should think about. At least, can't they ust wait until the boy is older, and let him decide? That way, he won't feel violated if he is circumcised. I sure wished they asked me! Now I'm a eunuch.
--xy
10/10

I thought this was an excellent article that not only describes clearly the physiological variations in sex and substrates of gender, but also the social impact of not fitting into a conventional gender category. Matt Patton Jacksonville, FL
--MP
07/19

I was intrigued by the article, and have nothing to add to the above (below?) insightful comments. The year ought to be appended to the date of submissions. (5-29-2001 for this one)
--RV
05/29

I thought the article was brilliant, empathetic and understandable and it really helped me as I'm doing a presentation on gender identity, sexuality and Queer theory and this article was perfect.Thanks
--C.T
03/14

I need to get in touch with Sherri Groveman. My story is very similar and have never been able to find a single person who has a similar situation.
--JN
03/06

My name is Donna I am glad to find other people like my self and starting to understand why I am not like other females. I have the same prolbem as the females in your artcile but I have all my orangs for female but I have my peroids about twice a year if i am lucky but am able to have a chid yet but the doctors say I can have a child.I know how it feel to be different.
--DC
01/09

Hello, gentlepersons. Your article http://www.nerve.com/dispatches/levay/intersex/main.asp contains a sidebar on a number of conditions. You have an error of fact in one of them. Specifically, the quotation "Klinefelter's syndrome: Genetic males with one or more extra X chromosomes (XXY, XXXY). Anatomically male but infertile. Increased likelihood of homosexuality in adulthood." is inaccurate. There have been a number of prospective studies performed around the world on Klinefelter's Syndrome. In these studies, babies in tens of thousands of sequential live births are karyotyped at birth and then followed for decades. Researchers performing these studies have noted certain characteristics, including a very high rate of infertility, but none have noted any increases in the incidence of either homosexuality or of aberrant sexual behaviour as compared to age-matched controls. Please look up the work of Shirley Ratcliffe and of Bruce Bender for more specifics. Here are a few references to get you started: Bender BG, Harmon RJ, Linden MG, Bucher-Bartelson B, Robinson A. Psychosocial competence of unselected young adults with sex chromosome abnormalities. Am J Med Genet 1999 Apr 16;88(2):200-6. Bender BG, Harmon RJ, Linden MG, Robinson A. Psychosocial adaptation of 39 adolescents with sex chromosome abnormalities. Pediatrics 1995 Aug;96(2 Pt 1):302-8. Linden MG, Bender BG, Robinson A. Intrauterine diagnosis of sex chromosome aneuploidy. Obstet Gynecol 1996 Mar;87(3):468-75. Ratcliffe S. Long-term outcome in children of sex chromosome abnormalities. Arch Dis Child 1999 Feb;80(2):192-5. Feel free to contact me at: lunatics@alumni.reed.edu if you wish to discuss this matter further. -Steve Gerken
--SBG
12/18

Have you ever noticed that intersex related pages on the web have click throughs for support groups but not for personals ads.
--
10/19

I am a 46xx genotypical female but I have male penis I have had every test that is avaible to science and they can explain why I hav a penis I am looking for any information that yheir is out their in cyber space if their is none then all I can hope for is that their is surport for me in my brother and sisters out their that suffer the same faith that i do please email me on saraicia@hotmail.com.au
--s o
10/16

I didn't get the nose thing.
--lcc
07/24

An excellent article. Clearly compassion, open mindedness, and a resolute attitude towards discovery and experimentation must become the hallmarks of a succesful modern society.
--rg
07/14

Sometimes people refer to a prominent nose as in like a ski jump shape and type nose . . . with that in mind, herein also lies an excellent metaphor for describing "the ski jump" effect/affect. Dealing with the concept of intersexing has its own people, those peoples in particular have the know-how. Because a ski jump nose can be a beautiful thing with or without an angle of repose from the outside looking in. That is always everybody point of view, too! Hereby, it's the getting to know the ins and outs of you, and so when you have an angular, sometimes out of shape nose as a part of you; you again learn from that! You can't buy time away from opposing that; in hope that the ski jump nose or ski jump-looking nose will somehow go away for good. You shape your life and nose accordingly; that is nature's way of putting it just so (the know how), and then letting you take on your own inclinations from there-on in.
--twm
07/13

so send the story to Jerry Springer hope to see it tomarrow at 11
--RF
07/13

This issue is also discussed in _Woman: An Intimate Geography_ by Natalie Angiers. As a very good friend of a self-identified transgender, I am pleased to see more discussion of "non-binary sexuality" and something that further opens the dicussion of the differences between sex and gender. And what is truly "normal."
--DLTW
07/13

send feedback on "Male, Female, Other"

back to "Male, Female, Other"