Maureen-
That was amazing! And I loved your book. I was in your first-ever Senior English class @ Orono..don't know if you remember me.
Lisle Soukup
www.azcd.org
acdlisle@qwest.net
--LS
11/04 |
I didn't get the impression she was stupid at all. Everything was just stated as fact and action; it fits. I got the Light as A Feather reference. Powerful. It stirred 1,000 stories.
--GR
10/21 |
I see this as a reflection of what might have been a far more innocent time, when perverts and voyeurs, left little girls alone. In comparison with todays sexual norms, these discoveries seem pale. It may have been much more interesting to have added a third generation. Because as liberal as we think we are, most of us still wouldn't know what say if we found our own daughters masturbating. In addition, at least this girl has someone who she identifies as being there as her mother. At least there is a conflict. And in this way maybe her judgement is positively shaped . In the "me" first world of today, mom wouldn't be there at all, because she is off screwing her boyfriend. And one of fathers step-girlfriends would be assuming most of the role.
--DH
10/17 |
Very moving - gave me insights into how a young girl might feel - yes, I am a man
--JNB
10/17 |
That was nice and nostalgic. Reminds me of my childhood secrets.
--mm
10/16 |
This is a lukewarm work. I did not find the writing to be especially good or bad. Although, at moments--e.g., "No, like this. Like this" and the forever bit--the writing became extremely grating. props to the author for attempting to write in a childlike voice but I'm not sure it pulled off. As for the content of the work--the thing is I can't sympathize with the phenomenon of 'discovering your body' that seems to be an important theme in the feminine coming-of-age stories that Nerve publishes. The writing did not provide a vivid sense of the 'sublime' that comes with the genital preoccupations of adolescence. (The previous commentor is right-on about this being an intention of the band camp anecdote). The attempt comes off as effeminate. On another note, I suppose it's interesting to represent the conflicts that arise between youth adult family sexuality etc. but here nothing really insightful is said; yes mom never approved when she caught me masturbating but so what? it's a cliche. there's is nothing insightful or challenging about sexuality said here. if talking about a vegetable is literary vulnerability then I'd rather be reading the Good Vibrations catalog.
--NK
10/14 |
Wow- thanks! So similar to my own experiences...
Comments on the feedback:
1. I do not think that girl was less than intelligent. I do, however, feel that the voice of the piece is rather detached. Maybe it was on purpose, maybe not. But she was not dull.
2. Light as a feather... the way that it relates- I believe: if you have ever done this, WOW- it is mind blowing, that feeling of physically defying what you scientifically know to be true (i.e., you cannot lift a person with your index fingers), that feeling of control and power (you are using your mind- not strength- to physically control something) and just the euphoria of having done something so special... What will sex be like? I argue that with sex, especially the first time, it would be a similarly awe-inspiring physical feat (if done well...). After all, how can such a simple in/out motion feel SO GOOD? Sex is very powerful- and it can really give a person (especially a girl/woman) a sense of power and control that they might not have had until that time. (I won't bother to open that can o' worms). If you remember your first time (I hope it was a pleasant one), there is such a feeling of ecstacy and transcendence- you forget that you are earthbound, instead, you are weightless, only FEELING. Maybe not the best analogy, but Light as a Feather is one that captures the mystery and power--
--l7w6
10/13 |
How beautiful, simple and connected. I find hundreds of memories in this piece...except the scene where she discusses 'light as a feather' at camp. I'm not sure how it fits in. Even in metaphor it seems stilted.
But overall, bella bella!
--cc
10/13 |
one additional comment to CG - why are you convinced that this young woman is stupid? i saw nor felt any evidence or inference of that...
--bk1
10/13 |
perhaps the last feedbacker is male... i was horrified and delighted reading this story, the internal musings of a twelve-year old girl. 'horrified' because they resemble my own experience almost exactly. the author has shown the public something very few would be willing to share or even acknowledge; the confusion created by societal/familial messages, the desire to *know*, to work that shit out, to know the truth and the myriad (sometimes comical and/or disgusting) ways we go about getting that... Experience.
--bk1
10/13 |
Descriptively genius. BUT - the problem with adults writing from a child's perspective is that they never give kids enough credit for their intelligence. Everything is bland wonderment in that sort of piece. Why is that? 12 might seem like a million experiences ago, but unless this 12 yr old girl is intended to seem dim, the oversimplification of her situation is a farce, especially nowadays. Of course, I never believed in Santa Claus either. Maybe kids really are this stupid by and large.
--GC
10/13 |
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