i love this story. its beautifuly writen.
--cw
07/05 |
I agree with jt's comments. I could barely drag myself through this sludge.It's badly written and overblown.
--DM
08/19 |
Umm, jt, stream of "conscience"? If you're going to play the condescending literary authority, try getting your terms right (especially your "big words"). Ever heard of "stream of consciousness"? I have -- because it's the correct term.
--JB
08/13 |
I've just the opportunity to read other's comments on this story. I have to say I'm disappointed that these people are looking at HOW it's written in terms of correct language usage, and not at whether this story has taken them somewhere wonderful. I'd have to say this some of these anal comments need to be flushed where they belong: down the toilet along with their general attitudes about content. GOOD JOB on imagery... and I LOVE THIS STORY.
--NS
08/11 |
I want to be this writer, when I grow up.
--NS
08/11 |
haven't finished reading, so this is actually a question
about the picture of the hand in the sand. Who is the photographer ?
thanks
--nlk
08/10 |
One wonders if the author has ever actually had pot brownies:).
--jj
08/04 |
This is good, but are you sure someone didn't slip GHB or opium into those brownies? That's quite a pot trip.
--ML
08/04 |
Ms. Margolin has written an evocative dreamscape. The sexual awakening is both stacatto and flowing -- oceanic. I always enjoy reading material by an author in love with her subject material.
--BT
08/03 |
good stuff deb.
--uj
08/03 |
Loved it! Deb, you've got such a knack for lush, vivid imagery, getting the reader caught up in the moment your narrator's caught up in. As always, reading you is a pleasure and a dream.
--LS
07/24 |
I am sorry you did not appreciate my comments. From your own comments "fuck jt" I see that your talent and ability to express yourself is very similiar to the authors. I can appreciate provocative stream of conscience literature. (You've probably haven't seen that big word anywhere). However, this embarassingly poorly written piece of fiction is not a representation of "in the moment" lyrical prose.
I am sure the author does not want to post work to only receive kudos (that word means a whole buncha praise), otherwise she would only show it to her mom. By the way, your own impromptu poetry/comment reads like a Boy Band top 40 hit. No wonder the work spoke to you.
--jt
07/23 |
This story was awful on many levels but had lots of good ideas that obviously weren't given time to fully develop. Also, how tired are the white fantasies of being "taken" by a black person who is believed to be "wild" and less inhibited? And what the hell does it mean that there was sand "in her"? And the dessert "was brought"?
Not edgy or sexy at all. Just plain bad.
--bde
07/23 |
nice!
--v
07/18 |
fuck jt, whomever. there is a writing that comes from living, that doesn't pause in what might be a separation between the two, and that is the true truest voice. deb's got it. always. right on, baby. more and more and more.
--jkm
07/16 |
This is one of the most beautiful stories I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Your language is hypnotic. More so, it paints the scenes through your head to music.
Sorry for getting a little dramafied there, but I really enjoyed it.
Thanks,
--MC
07/10 |
"tragic indifference" are you kidding me?
--jt
07/07 |
I am not one to let poor writing and grammar
keep me away from an article that might prove
to be interesting, informative and maybe even informative.
However, after the first two paragraphs in this article, I just couldnt continue.
It is awkward and clumsy (yes, both)and reads like high
school poetry that is attempting to be avant garde but ends
up sounding silly, pretentious and sophmoric.
Did your editor let you get away with this?
--jt
07/07 |
Reads like a dream about sex. Not a thought but a dream, in the way a dream can fashion a fantasy that seems to spring out of nowhere, nothing you could have thought of awake, but is the most fulfilling fantasy, one you will intend to think of awake from now on.
--BAM
07/06 |
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