I could have written this story about my ex-girlfriend who graduated from Cornell. Including the parts about Henriettas and Meow Mix.
--
07/31 |
Great story. Thanks for letting into your head.
Two quibbles:
1. There's really no need to dis your gender for being vulnerable. Feeling bad about being ditched at a lesbian bar is not a symptom of an inflated male ego.
2. Alabama isn't in the Midwest.
-The Quibbler
--ee
07/31 |
I agree with the last poster that the feedback for this article does seem a little harsh...
It seems to me that the whole point of the article is this guy coming to terms with the fact that his testosterone-fueled, alpha male fantasies were nothing more than that--fantasies. By the end of the article he seemed to realize the err of his thought processes. Fantasies exist for a reason and on a certain level. But when a bit of reality was introduced into the situation, he had no choice but to confront it. People get hurt in relationships, as we all know, and as this guy seemed to fare on the losing end, some bitterness should be expected. At least he is attempting to learn from it instead of bottling it up or continuing his posturing. I've been with crazy guys and girls and have come to realize that: A) a crazy person is a crazy person, guy or girl; B) threesomes are always more complicated than we envision; and, C) someone always comes out on the losing end. The issue of sexuality is as frail as the essence of human nature itself--and a re-examination of a flawed scenario seems like a mature way of moving on from a failed relationship.
--jr
07/25 |
damn, i was really surprised to read so much hostility in all of these responses. i thought it was well-written, and the jokes and conversational tone were well-received. i felt as though he was just telling me a story over a beer, not that he was attempting to get preachy or to overgeneralize and offend anybody. wasn't that the point?-to tell a personal story from one man's perspective? if you have your own story to tell and you think it's so easy to whip up into something meaningful that appeases everybody, try doing it yourself.
--
07/25 |
it's two women. hence womEn... one, a midwestern law student. another, a republican from alabama.
--ap
07/23 |
I'm perhaps less judgemental and angry than I thought I was; as I personally read this for what I believe the author intended and that was to share his perspective regarding his experience/tell a story. I am a bisexual woman who has dated both men & women, separately and together for 10yrs. I am in a long term relationship with a man while my first female love is still one of my closest friends. We lived together for over a year and connected deeply, but it just wasn't meant as marriage for us. Those of you who witnessed that this guy's g/f was an addict are I believe observant and that is definately a piece of the picture not necessarily related to her being bi at all! But I can also tell you from experience that it is a rare and beautiful moment in most people's lives when a threesome actively enagages all three warmly and passionately. The first threesome I was in, my b/f at the time was pushed to the side and repeatedly left untouched until one of us girls remembered where we were and consciously included him. That can definately lead to feelings of separatism/irrelevance. I think that many of us can agree that having to remember to include someone and doing it out of obligation isn't the best time for anyone... anyway, I haven't read this entire issue yet; but I feel as though there is alot of anger out there and from my perspective I just think it is great when people can recall and retell their life's adventures and those listening can simply accept them as someone else's life.
--mt
07/22 |
i agree with zb, below.
--
07/22 |
Is this supposed to be sarcastic? I hope so.
--ZB
07/22 |
i didn't hear the author say that she was crazy because she was bi or that this relationship was archtypal, it sounded to me like one man's experience with one woman. i found it a charming, nicely written piece.
--ted
07/21 |
Don't worry, they will have an essay, maybe half an essay if we're lucky actually, about female bisexuality (not friendship, cough cough) from a female perspective... though what I fear is that we'll have a story about 'bisexual until graduation' or 'lesbian until graduation' written by a woman in her late 30s early 40s, married and with children, fondly remembering her days of 'craziness and freedom.' I'll stop now because I'm making myself puke. Also because I know I'm right and want to keep some of the mystery going.
Nerve has thoroughly disappointed me with the male-centered (and so boring -- possibly because it’s so (white) male centered issue). Can't believe I'm actually giving them money for this crap.
--
07/20 |
Why has almost every work in this series center around the male experience of bisexuality? What about the female perspective? As a bisexual female, I'd like to see some writings from queer women on this topic.
--ceg
07/20 |
I think he meant that she was a Republican from Alabama going to law school in the Midwest. Nonetheless, the story blows.
--
07/20 |
Alabama is not the MIDWEST...!!
Is that what the ending quip meant?
we all know lesbianism is just a fad, unless bi chix are into you...
--mm
07/20 |
I couldn't agree more with the last comment. What a poor story: including all the cliches we know, nothing surprising, badly written, no insight. Who wants to read this kind of stuff?
--PO
07/20 |
Don't confuse her petulant narcisism with her being bi. From your one-sided descriptions, she obviously was just using you. While that sort of behaviour is rampant in the bi community it is not causal.
--lw
07/20 |
While reading your article I couldn't help remember a similar experience I had with a girl. I won't go into details, but I can say that apart from this girl being bisexual she was a drug addict, from alcohol to coke, everything in between and beyond, which I came to realize once we were two weeks into the 'relationship'. When we called it quits I didn't blame her crazyness on her bisexuality rather than on her drug consumption, because I've dated other bisexual girls before, being myself bisexual and finding this the most suitable relationship for me. But maybe it's because of my experience, but I don't think that her bisexuality was the issue there, she's just crazy and crazy people can be hetero, gay, or bi.
--PCC
07/20 |
"Maybe there is some reality to the idea that dating a bisexual person means living a kind of raw, sexually amorphous existence"
No, the reality is, you dated a drugged up self absorbed sociopath. Her being bisexual just meant she wanted to wreak havoc on members of both sexes. I'm glad you wish her luck. Personally, I wish her ilk to be on the wrong side of a speeding truck.
--
07/20 |
no. really. I've dated a couple bi women in the past and the most important thing I took from those relationships was that the "male threesome fantasy" wasn't the reality. If I was going to be jealous, I would be jealous of the women in her life as well as the men. The truth is that when two bi women are together, they're not thinking of me. They're thinking of each other.
--pp
07/20 |
Come on now, Nerve. No insight whatsoever. Not clever. Not funny. Not interesting. Not sexy. Are you at a loss for contributors? Is he someone's nephew? What's going on?
--MB
07/20 |
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