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Reader Feedback on "I Was a Teenage Prostitute"
just fromt he title and a few lines in I am taken back; really i mean i can relate because i lived this lifestyle once upon atime and it was anything but glamorous considering my coming out. I guess i could have been a better selector when it came to my anxious johns but nevertheless it's all water under the bridge now but what i want to say about it is if i had to do it all over again, i would have married this fat white man who was so ricvh he could had bought my career as a high end commercail/editorial model but i was too gree n to know that i had hit the jack pot the right off the bat. That and the fact that fat white men need love too and have sex. i recall telling a good confidante ablut my past just recently attributing everything to being my testimony these days but i did mention that i would have married this one partivular guy if i wasn't "alergic to his blubber." so sad now all i can do is reminense ont he all the shopping sprees we had and i missed after he left me for another slim goodie he met at another strip club while i was away trying to pursue my modeling dream; too bad i ended up giving up to far worst prospects in the process and ended up marrying a guy i met in another brothel south of the Mason dixie Line because...well..TMI.
Just thought i would comment that much.
--JR
11/28 |
I had similar experiences and this being a generally taboo subject I can't bring them up over coffee. In one sense this is why I sought those experiences- to distance myself, see humans in a vulnerable state, and all the while for everything to remain mostly unspoken. Particularly her observation on 'nothingness' and the desire to build an identity composed of negation, of absence of identity, anonoyminity . I think in part it is a way of building a more subtle connection with ourselves & others. Carrying these experiences around in me and no one being able to tell offers two byproducts for me in perception: On one hand, overwhelming humor & absurdity, where I've have sat on a bus and I've glanced at a middle aged couple and thought, "wow, you're husband could easily be meeting me later to have me gag him with your panty-hose & fuck him with a dildo." Adversely and on the other hand- hearing stories of pedophilla or any of the matters we hear people frowning at and commenting, "I just can't believe how anyone can do that!" Although I have never been personally victimized, I can believe it. Somehow choosing prostitution
at a young age put me into contact with all the things we just 'can't imagine or believe' of others or ourselves. (Lisa really hits this point too, when she mentions the dreaming, as all is dualistic, there are nightmares too.) I really enjoyed her writing, a balance I seldom see in themes such as this, it's usually limited to political squabble, outreach or porn. All that I know is, we are fragile creatures.
--R.N
10/19 |
I fail to see the glamour in prostitution that others see. Of course, I find it's very hard to get something other than a reflection of ourselves from even the best of literature.
Those who secretly admire the freedom the author presented see glamour and glitz in the tale. Those who fear that those they love may fall into the same pattern presented see the emptyness and ultimate failure inherent in living solely as a mirror for others desires. We each take from the reading what we bring.
For myself, I'm reminded of a young boy who didn't know who he was, so he invented and re-invented himself with each passing minute. I thought he had learned his lesson about trying to be what others saw, but this story makes me wonder if perhaps he didn't just assume a new guise to pass the time.
Thank you very much for sharing this excerpt. I look forward to reading the rest when it becomes available.
--CAM
12/13 |
As the mother of a teenage daughter and as a daughter myself "rejected" by my father when my parents divorced early on, I feel very afraid when I read about teenage prostitution. My daughter also is the product of a divorce. I know it isn't a given that a girl will turn to promiscuity to fill the void left by her father, but this story reminds me of how important it is to give my daughter every opportunity to have strong, healthy, male role models in her life so that she'll know how men should treat her, what she should demand of men.
I had to admit, in reading this essay I was reminded of times in my life when there was a strong appeal to prostitution of some kind. I was raised in a Christian home, I have plenty going for me, I'm educated and intelligent, creative enough to figure out something better for myself, but yet that appeal was still there.
For me, what caused that drive I think, was what I chose to believe about who I was deep down once I fully realized my sexual capacity. I knew I could please men tremendously and without feeling anything, and the idea of having that control, that power, that detachment, and being paid for it, was intoxicating.
But there is an even deeper element at play. I know I was sexually abused by trusted male adults when I was a child, and somewhere there is the sense in me that I'm not worth a good, healthy, satisfying sex life with someone I choose to love. By the author's calculations, about 30-some% of Gen-X-ers are likely druggy sluts (I don't recall exactly how she put it). Add to that number the reality that 1 in 3 girls is sexually abused before the age of 18 (and those are just the reported cases, which mine certainly were not) and you have a nasty math problem.
The bottom line is, if I could do anything to make sure that nothing has happened to my not-so-little girl yet, I would do it. To have the assurance that there is one girl out there who will discover what sex is the old-fashioned way, at her own pace, and with the confidance that she can choose just what she feels comfortable with would be worth 10 years of my life. Is that an impossible wish?
--- -
12/02 |
That was an excellent essay. I hope the bible-thumpers and the radfems don't get you down when they start screaming for your head.
--jr
11/15 |
At least she's honest about being a whore...
--as
11/04 |
Authentic, Insightful and very well vwritten!
--sc
11/02 |
slm
güzel insan nasılsın sen çok güzel bir kıssın
--
11/01 |
Was ever a title of an article more misleading? Prostitution doesn't sound great, it sounds like the living embodiment of everything terrible about being a woman in a raging sexist world.
--frd
10/31 |
Some people are forced to work at Dunkin Donuts. Does that mean I can't choose to work there and enjoy it? Penis in vagina, holding those naked little doughnuts onto the twin jelly-squirting rods ... things become a big deal if we want them to.
--lcc
10/30 |
The Amazon bookstore link from this page points to an unrelated book.
--REO
10/28 |
pellucid.
--sam
10/25 |
I was going to go to the suckdog show last night @ warehouse next door, but my wife came home with a cold so I stayed home w/ her. I even emailed with you about your skits. I hope you found your Lisa. I hope you read your feedback. I know you will eventually.
I'll try to make it up to you by picking up the dvd or the book. good luck tonight w/ your galapagos party. don't fall into the artificial pond in the front! I wonder if that's still there. I haven't been over there for over a year.
-rob
--
10/25 |
WOW!!! I've always enjoyed her writing! Finally something I read in Nerve that wasn't pure garbage!! All you other supposive Nerve "writers", pay attention hell even try to copy her. She is a true story teller, and she isn't trying to be one. She is interesting, unforced, truthful and daring. Something noone on Nerve has achieved.
--pop
10/25 |
Another amazing story by LCC! Why can't she do the "I Did It For Science" column? It would be SO much better!
--srm
10/24 |
dd- thank you for sharing this is with us. You should write a book too.
It is never too late, especially in America- go back to school, get a regular job, start somewhere. Please don't give up.
I am the first poster btw and I am still disturbed by this story and by Nerve's becoming more and more conservative and cliche. Frankly, the only prostitutes I ever saw- and I saw many since I lived in shady neighborhoods for a while- had black eyes, were missing teeth and seemed oh so sad. It broke my heart. And the ones that had intact faces were also very sad.
Before ted writes something about personal stories I'd like to point out that there are millions of personal stories but when a magazine like Nerve decides on one such story the personal in it immediately becomes political. It is just the way it is. They make a statement. I won't go further into the politics of representation except that... I still wonder how come the only story they published about male prostitution was dark and painful and the one they publish about female prostitution is scarily positive?
(and about the Dutch- they are not as open-minded as you think. I walked once through the Red Light District and there were only women in those caged windows and almost all of them were of color some way or another. Now tell me if that tells you anything or not).
I guess posting on this doesn't make any change in the long run, but just pointing out that Nerve is not what it used to be.)
--
10/24 |
such an interesting perspective. honest and very naked.
--av
10/24 |
This is AWESOME. I just ordered the book. I have always loved Lisa Carvers work here on Nerve. Thanks!!!!
--twa
10/24 |
dd, you sound like a sad nightmare. Please get a life soon.
--su
10/24 |
As a teenage prostitute (call girl) who, 5 years later, never quite escaped the cycle, I commend her for leaving it behind before the 'nothingness' which was so initially seductive destroyed her.. Once happy and maybe a little lost, the trade ultimately consumed my identity, which had always been driven, ambitious and fiercely unique. I've only recently awoken, to discover that there is nothing inside anymore-only that which can be easily manipulated & conjured for the pleasure of my clients. And not only them, but boyfriends, people in general. After the initial several-year rush associated with the secret, glitz, beautiful darkness & lascivious depravity of it all, human interactions of any sort become pained; you are uncertain of how to confer or socialize with those not knowing 'what' you are underneath the facade of innocence. Sex becomes work, there is no separating the two-orgasm, for me, and the act itself are entirely separate. Your body is no longer your own (or was it in the first place, one wonders?). Your entire life is a series of illusions, woven not least for the sake of your physical sustenance but for your mental preservation as well. After a point, it feels virtually impossible to extricate oneself from the cycle-to cease filling one's life with an endless succession of sex, money, things. Because then emptiness threateningly looms, the realization that what was initially a means to an end has ultimately subjugated it. It sucks, really, to be the ultimate seductress-to be so good at it, to truly live the terror of growing older & the knowledge that one's youth & dazzling, falsified enthusiasm has an expiration date but a few years ahead. Then you will be worthless, having failed to cultivate a future beyond the next dusk.. And the further stark fear imbued by casting a glance upon the past 5 years, to discover a once potentially brilliant future has been squandered in favor of a life that syphons passion, hope, and inner fulfillment in exchange for immediate gratification. No resume, no work experience, nothing. But hell, you're sure great at assuming roles, at conversation, at seducing! At least we don't delude ourselves by believing in love (save when it's unattainable) or marriage or other such things~in recognizing that women-all women-are at some point both consumer and consumed (especially in today's social climate), we are at least privy to the brutal truth of it all. Which isn't to say that I wish otherwise; I'd do anything to believe in love or men or happily ever after again.. I feel for women who traipse thru life ever seeking and never finding. It seems that only by accepting what we are as cast by society-as marketable entities-will we achieve any degree of honesty with ourselves (if not contentment). And no, I wasn't abandoned or abused. Just stupid and opportunistic, wanting to break on thru to the other side and prove society wrong. What I would do to go back..
--dd
10/24 |
"I lose the concealed passageway I found into other people's something-ness. The lights in the airport are so white! I'm not even on the plane yet, and already I miss everything I'm leaving behind: the somber lighting, the camaraderie with the girls, everyone being awake with you while the rest of the world sleeps. I miss the drifting conversation of people who are high. I miss my clients; I miss being on top and being nothing, being only what I can see in their eyes, always new."
for better or worse, i'd say that paragraph, at least, is definitely "glamorizing" prostitution. this piece was valuable as one woman's experiences with prostitution, but i don't think we should forget that our society is one that often leaves certain women with no other choice than prostitution and exploitation. not everyone has the vocabulary or language capabilities of lisa carver, not everyone chooses this life for herself, and not everyone can pull herself out of this lifestyle as easily as carver did.
--mhj
10/24 |
As an gen x'er (and ex-ho :-) I totally identified with the story. It's the most honest piece of writing I've read regarding the oldest proffesion of the world.Brilliant work Miss Carver!! Now I want to read the rest of your books. By the way to the first post: I don't think she's glamourizing prostitution at all (drugs,sex with ugly creeps,alienation,loneliness, father issues etc.. what "glamour" are u talking about???)
--pms
10/24 |
from what i know of lisa carver, this is a sincere account of a life experience by a bravely honest woman. she does not claim to describe all women's experiences. not every moment of every personal essay need be part of a political agenda. however, if you want to talk about this as a matter of justice or decency, though there are undoubtedly many prostitutes who go into the business unintentionally or because they have no alternative, there are also undoubtedly some women -- perhaps many -- who select the business over other alternatives. the dutch have been among the most progressive homo sapiens for 500 years, and their system of legalized prostitution may be better for the women who chose the profession then others. many many jobs are miserable -- my wife's grandfather shoveled gravel for 50 cents per day during the great depression; my grandfather sold eggs on the streets of new york. maybe they were happier than the bordello divas, maybe not. what i think we all believe in an open society is that everyone should go into their jobs freely with alternatives, and with their health and safety safeguarded. more important to me than all of this, however, is that people can write confessional essays without being told that their experiences are not convenient for a given cause and thus should not be told or should be rewritten with an agenda in mind. great essay lisa -- bracingly honest as always.
--ted
10/24 |
p.s. not to mention that the ending is somewhat cliched too- there is an understanding in the art history world that da Vinci was probably homosexual and that we can't tell what the Mona Lisa really represents. If you're going for an interpretation of Mona Lisa why go for the most overused one? Creativity would be nice for once.
--
10/24 |
You know, I appreciate the story, but in a way I cannot help but cringe at this yet another attempt at glamorizing prostitution (for women, of course, last time we read about a male prostitute we found out he was in fact ruined and crazy. Women prostitutes are apparently normal and do what they do out of free choice.)
You know, there is this saying about women in porn and how much they "like" it: "In the end, we're the fucked ones." So why make prostitution unnecessarily glamorous, philosophically speaking?
--
10/24 |
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