"Once, I heard that having a boyfriend isn't about auditioning guys for the role; it's about finding someone you care enough about to write the role for." Goddamn, that is so my dating line of the Twenty Oh-Fresh.
--BGB
01/25 |
wow.
I don't know what to say...
except I have to say something here ...
wow, I think it definitely prooves 'opposite attracts' cause she being a liberal and him being a conservertive person - thus more curious to her vs. cute indie rockers...
gosh, I do wish running into guys like jack...
--QL
01/24 |
I'm a first time here so can't agree or disagree to the above, but these words made me smile. Hi from Europe!
--StSc
01/23 |
I like both Carries, the sweetheart and the slut, and don't think they're mutually exclusive. Your writing reminds me of Lisa Carver's, my favorite from "classic Nerve," in the way it intelligently weaves together bad behavior and ordinary life.
--BH
01/22 |
"Once, I heard that having a boyfriend isn't about auditioning guys for the role; it's about finding someone you care enough about to write the role for."
Well put.
--AC
01/22 |
How comes everyone is so much more comfortable with Carrie telling a love story than exploring what it feels like when you are single? Normally half of the readers call her a neurotic wannabe hipster, but now, when she is writing about what is expected from a woman, getting a boyfriend instead of messing around, everyone goes like "much better writing" and "much more mature". Doesn't seem like a coincidence to me ...
--ma
01/21 |
I will hunt down anyone who compares my beloved Carrie to Amy Sohn ever again.
--CBO
01/20 |
Inspiring. It almost gives me hope.
--CB
01/19 |
Oh-- and after reading feedback, looks like a lot of people know that you were the intern, and that means that somehow they need to "grade" your stories. "Keep up the good work", "Big Improvement", "Grow Up". Jesus, people, if you are soooo wonderful and witty and know how to write,then why am I not reading YOUR story on Nerve? I want to hear feedback on how people felt, or what they thought of while reading this, not read marks out of a gradebook.
--GDE
01/18 |
The good boyfriends are the ones you never imagined lasting more than a month. They are the ones that say "Hey, I am not letting you turn me into a one night stand." They are also sometimes the ones that save you from months of unabashed meaningless sex with males and a casually commited relationship with a female...(in my recent experience, anyway.)
Also, I thought EC pills would hurt more, but surprisingly, no bad side effects. Yay.
--GDE
01/18 |
Thank you dear, I truly truly love this story, and shall send it to 4 of my friends that will love to read it. Or they should, I hope they do ;)
Lovelyyyy!!!!
Lisa
--LR
01/18 |
Well written - I liked it a lot. And, from a more "mature" guy; at some point in the future, this boyfriend will be kicking himself for not taking full advantage of all you offered.
--GT
01/17 |
Not as good as "The Cool Ex," but better than most of what Wilner has written lately--which isn't saying much. I'm going to go along with virtually everyone who has ever given Wilner feedback, and use the word "superficial." And the part about the wire hanger in the cervix was completely inappropriate; abortion, especially illegal abortion, isn't a laughing matter.
--TJ
01/16 |
Carrie- you're so pretty! This author pic is SOOOO much better than the previous, profile one. I'm not a stalker, just a hairdresser.
--MJ
01/16 |
Terrific, well-written story, I can relate to. I just found this site and it is so intersting and such a great forum for this kind of writing.
--KE
01/16 |
Much better than previous pieces. But as before, no one believes that you're a kooky sex-loving gal who is truly baffled by the possibility of a boyfriend. A confused and co-dependent gal who strikes a pose to ineffectively protect herself, sure. (Ten years ago, I was 26.) Will be interesting to read how you come to terms with that, which could come sooner than later now that you've allowed the possibility of love in your life. (And for that, congrats.)
--dh
01/15 |
another boring, self -indulgent,''i'm a slut reformed by the amazing one-lay-only-guy''story.snore. amy sohn, remember her? anyone? anyone?
--s&m
01/15 |
Nice little article. Reminds me of my somewhat bipolar, anti-depressant popping, writer, ex-girlfriend. She was fun. Anyhow, use a damm condom! One in 5 sexually active people have HSV (an epidemic), a few of the risk factors (as mentioned in your story) include alcohol consumption, multiple partners, unprotected sex, and dirty little rocker boys. Plus there are lots of other more nasty things out there.
Keep up the good work, and use condoms!
--Spif
01/14 |
carrie, you're a good stylist but where's the heart? i hope you'll soon abandon the risk of unprotected sex and instead dare to love. and this i'm not some purist, anti-sex freak.
--kz
01/14 |
That was an amazing story! Thank you for sharing! Although I live in Orange County, California. I can relate!!
Fabulous writing and excellent read! I can't wait to read more!!
--TMB
01/14 |
I kindof liked this piece. Carrie- to your credit, your enthusiasm for the boy, for the idea of a boyfriend, is bubbling through the prose. But, you know, this reads as a rather dull journal entry: important to the author but not any audience beyond that. I seem to be in the minority on this oppinion. But the text is so solipsistic; the boy is one of the least developed characters in your writings so far. All you can focus on is a very shallow notion of his unorthodoxy; but you capture nothing about him beyond a vague facade of sexual anxiety or ascetism (or both--which of these is not even vaguely flushed out. At least for the sake of the text make something up!). What else do we know about him? it's like you're keeping coolness score--he animates, he's french, etc. Bearing in mind this solipsism, if I were to look at this as a work of fiction I would assume the author was trying to communicate the absurd obsession and optimism in the early stages of an inevitably failing relationship, a love of the image but not the person. Of course, since this is presumably not fictional, I can't help but sound v. v. patronizing saying something like that... And I must say like you I'm naive in matters of love but a master of promiscuity, so I'd rather not be presumptuous. Bottom line is, well, I'm ambivalent about the merit of this text. I mean, I don't see you being really vulnerable, or introspective in any sense--despite some other reviews below. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed you describing "The Shirt", make-up, the different way of preparing for dates. And the ritual around using the morning-after pill ("percocet")--fantastic. If I can make a suggestion for the next essay, I'd love to read about how you deal with the psychology of men's sexual performance. I mean, I was intrigued by what "wasn't working". I don't care about the details (he couldn't maintain wood or he couldn't come?), but the psychological dimension, that often has the woman comforting the man--"it's ok... it doesn't bother me. are you mad??". I dunno, just a suggestion.
--NK
01/14 |
The passage about how the author "envisioned sex fueled by anger, vicious cheating, bottle throwing," reminded me of "Scenes from a Separation," where the author longed for a "sparring partner" where repeated fights would be followed by great sex.
Men are frequently taken to task for regarding women as crazy or just plain evil... and then one reads something like this and thinks, "maybe they're on that count about women..."
--DC
01/14 |
Stellar writing for a sweet vignette
--CJM
01/14 |
Yay -- more good stuff from Carrie!
--RM
01/14 |
Now this IS nerve.
--slut
01/14 |
Hey, very heart-warming. Fuck the pundits, there is a place for romance in the big city. There's nothing shiny sunglasses about dopey-facing around someone, but then again people who need to be cool all the time are missing the point...
--cm
01/13 |
Best yet. And it is a French guy thing, to judge by reading the other comments.
--NP
01/13 |
Again I agree with everyone. This is easily the most thoughtful piece I have read from Wilner. The story is particularly interesting because she seems to become aware of all of the posturing. And it is a love story! Who knew?
--MK
01/13 |
i think its a french thing, the whole "only slept with one girl". i fell in love with a french catholic guy (maybe its a catholic thing then, who knows?) and i think i scared him off with my sexual aggresiveness. his sexual problem was that he came too fast, but even after telling him that i didnt care and that if it was important to him we would work on it he dumped me. be careful and make sure your guy loves himself enough at least to be able to love you. in any case, aren't french guys awesome?! good one carrie, finally something that didn't make me want to call you up and tell you that you're only cool if you do all the things you do (drinking, sex, and drugs), and NOT inform the general public. its just soooo lame. looks like youre coming into your own.
--mo
01/13 |
Quite good.
--KAC
01/13 |
I agree that this is much better than most of your essays - it has substance. I really like it!
--MR
01/13 |
This is honest, introspective work that brings out my empathetic side. Thank you!
--DW
01/13 |
Great article -- once again Carrie writes an amazingly honest piece. As for the article, let's hope that this time around she's more interested in the man and not the chase. People have an amazing ability of becoming boring and bland once we get what we want from them, don't they?
--DT4
01/13 |
Loved the piece, very funny and engaging. One question -- is the lead photo one of Carrie on her futon? Because, if so, damn, that's a fine, fine... uh, essay. Yeah.
Keep up the good prose, darling.
--TH
01/13 |
Very well written. I was drawn in to read the whole thing. Your writing flows and communicates honestly. Thanks!
--aj
01/13 |
Don't look now, but I think you might be growing up. This is very good. You actually seem involved in this piece, instead of a casual observer of your own life. It's nice to read, for the most part. Keep going... you might actually be on to something. Pretty good.
--ME
01/13 |
Carrie, very good. I agree with the condom comment made below, his inability to come could have had little to do with the condom. Also, why the inability to ask the coffee guy out, but the ability to blurt seemingly more risky things? I loved you piece, as always, and log on the nerve in search of them often. Thank you.
--EJ
01/13 |
I agree with everyone else, you really nailed this one (I mean the essay) and it moved me since I am that guy, or at least I was at 25, and I'm in an almost identical situation except that she is the one selling me coffee. I'm older and more experienced/jaded than your guy, but I totally understand where he's coming from and I applaud you for not running away screaming as many girls will. Beautifully written.
--DJ
01/13 |
I was hard on you last time, but this was a decent piece that demonstrated some maturity.
--HM
01/13 |
very well written and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole life bit....thank you.....I would like to read more.......
--me
01/13 |
Nice job Carrie. Very smart all the way. There's something wrong with him. Watch out.
--RA
01/13 |
Very good piece, except for this line: "But when he put the condom on, it wasn't working." Come on, Carrie—what does that mean? When does that happen? How wasn't it working? What could that imply? I expect a little more skepticism, a little more honesty from you.
--mbg
01/13 |
Your essays are always great but "The Boyfriend" is the best. The fluidity of Americans and social norms eliminated dating customs on, roughly, September 8, 1993. Where's the etiqute? Is there a hookup without a keg in the kitchen? How do you get the hot girl behind the counter? How many makeout sessions before she's a girlfriend? I've only one rule - it's a relationship if you actually don't need the condom. You touched all the questions with impressive emotion. I enjoy your feminine essays without enduring "Sex in the City." Thanks.
--wrs
01/13 |
Oh man! That was cool...Trust me when I tell you that you can still be completely, and madly in love, part of a totally monogamous relationship, and keep your twice a day appitite.
--jmn
01/13 |
Oh, that's really solid. Fine piece, not trite, direct, real. Good work, Nerve.
--SF
01/13 |
Your essay reminded me of what I am looking for and why I am not looking for one night stands even though the itch sometimes feels so deep it hurts. Thank you.
--clj
01/13 |
Carrie this was sweet. As a man, I often wonder what goes on inside women's minds. Revealing your thoughts provided me with perspective from the opposite sex. Like what I read, like how your mind works. More please.
--jmj
01/13 |
I really like having sex. But it is so much better with someone you are in love with. It is strange how difficult it is for us humans to figure that out and how much we resist the idea that it is true.
--
01/13 |
Carrie
This is most definitely the finest piece of yours that I've read so far. I really only read Nerve for your column, and this time I was blown away by nothing more than your honesty. It's like I could see the introspection working overtime in your head, trying your best to figure out the entire person you always thought you were, but aren't quite sure about anymore. Keep it up. Definitely keep it up.
--AJM
01/13 |
yes, my fav Carrie.
do they have anyone else writing now?
when was the last time em and lo wrote something - are they gone?
--ml
01/13 |
Well, Carrie gets more readable as she grows up--maybe now the articles can get more interesting and lest angst-ridden crapfests of "koolness".
--mr
01/13 |
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