I really enjoy your writing, how you blend foggy recollections of the experience with razor-sharp observations of your issues. What courage and growth I see between your college days writing and this note. I recall how terrified I have been before a dreaded encounter and how the bourbon helped me get out the door. But now at times, your buzz is from running or coffee and you make it through. Please continue to share at least an occasional observation on these issues as it may help us both understand our journey a bit better.
--JES
08/28 |
Lady, listen from someone who knows. Slut-Fu, or "The Way of the Drunken Ho-bag" is not something you want to continue just because it feels comfortable. Yes it's a hundred times easier than having a relationship. But that's because meaningless sex is basically robbing you of real life.
There's a reason people form lasting, loving relationships and don't just sleep with anybody they meet at the bar. They are rewarding. There is no reward in drunken hook-ups other than successfully pushing down the innate natural desire to want to make a connection with someone. Because that's *hard*. It's *easy* just to have a fling and make that your "mini-relationship". You put your time and energy and emotion into having some laughs and enjoying the pure sexual energy and freedom you find in the arms of a stranger who desires you, but does not care for you. When you find someone you can love, and that can love you back.... that's it, girl. That's all she wrote. You won't want anything else. But you can't sabotage yourself each night in a drunken stupor and expect to find it.
It took the help of my friends showing me how little respect they had for what I was doing for me to start to question my role. I thought everything was going fine. I thought it was just natural to hook up again, and again, and again, ... Well let me tell you there's some serious social stigma associated with it, even amongst other men. Once I really thought about it, I realized the reason I would just hook up without even liking these girls was that 1. it was easy and 2. I didn't have to think about how hard it would be to find a girl who I could really care for. After that I had a few friends with benefits, and once it was obvious they ran it's course i'd give myself a break again. Eventually the urge would creep up again. But it's so much better taking your time and finding someone you can spend your time with and really enjoy it. Life is too short to waste your time with "just sex".
--PW
07/10 |
You've got an excellent writing style and you definitely touched a nerve with me. You should consider a follow up if you make any progress there.
--JT
06/08 |
As I found out for myself, there are literally thousands of stories JUST like yours in every AA meeting in the world. If you ever ask yourself "Am I an alcoholic?" the answer is YEP. People without an issue with alcohol/other substances never ask that question. Hope you can get off that merry-go-round sooner rather than later--you can have a life..
--RF
06/05 |
porque es acerca de la alegría de vivir.
--YCC
05/30 |
Bellísimo, muy bien escrito, mantiene el interés y es conmovedor. Yo no sé como pueden pensar que es triste, a mi me parece feliz
--YCC
05/30 |
26 - young professional female - could have written the piece myself. except for the peeing.
--bj
05/27 |
you are an alcoholic sweetie...you're not denying it but you haven't reached that jumping off point because living like this is fun for you-for now. this scenario, over and over to the tired age of 38 is what brought me to the cross roads and a church basement, hating it ever step of the way.
three year later, sober, happy and still horny===I'm finding out hot random sex, sober, is for grown ups, the shit you're pulling is for kids.
saving a seat for you...
--ju
05/24 |
This is most of the pathetic serially single skanks in their 20's and 30's. People wonder why it's so hard to find love, it's because the crutch they use to loosen up socially makes them disgusting people, who wouldn't be disgusting without it ... as this story was stating
--as
05/23 |
Oh. My. God. This is me and I've never seen anyone else like me with the same issue. Thank you
--AER
05/21 |
yeah, you do it on purpose, and you can quit any time. I hope this is a satirical piece because if not, the author is an addict and possibly has a personality disorder. and the fact she wears designer clothes and goes to yoga class doesn't make it glamorous. it's just as sad and gross. please get help.
--JCB
05/19 |
yep, i've been doing this for years. i've come to the sad believe that dating people for 3 months is the best-case scenario b/c they're still the person you want them to be in your head, not the person they really are.
i love drunk hook ups. they are filled with intrigue and randomness and laughter.
--r
05/19 |
The final paragraph sums it up. My life, written out for me to read, at the hands of someone else. One day we will all see the err of our ways, until then... bartender...
--NH
05/19 |
I also once knew someone who had a different name when she was really drunk. My guess is that if your personality changes so much when you drink that you're using a different name to represent that personality, and that name seems to be coming up quite frequently, that you should probably rethink your lifestyle. (By the way, Nerve staff, page 1 seems to be coming up pretty wide in my browser.)
--JCF
05/19 |
this is amazing. i just want you to know. you are courageous and brutally honest to be able to understand yourself on a level that overrides denial with dignity.
--bt
05/18 |
A good thread of life, fiction or otherwise. Although, this one might need to be pulled before the fabric completely unravels. One last toast and then...One last toast and then...
--RYNK
05/18 |
Can you send me your contact info? I'd like to take you out for a drink...
--twj
05/18 |
We should trade tales of interest over a few drinks...
--IAB
05/18 |
beautiful! I can totally relate...
--DMT
05/18 |
I really loved your story.. very clever, funny & cute. I get the, if he will love me as a drunken mess theme.. But unfortunately people (men), are not that smart & are very judgmental.. its typically a woman, who would love a drunken, coke head.. & see so much potential in him.. that was me.. I want more of a man than his party face.. and trust me, so did the guy's who went out with you..
your awesome for righting this article I loved it
LRR
--LRR
05/18 |
lovely piece. and good that you are modulating. cyclical behavior is the enemy, keep it fresh.
--ted
05/18 |
I totally understand. Although for me, the morning after always sucks, but like a moth to the flame .....
--jd
05/18 |
I think it's sad and very, very honest. And I bet there are a lot of other women who've done this at various stages of their lives. hopefully, the writer is in a better place now.
--ABV
05/18 |
What a repugnantly self-loathing way to live. I really hope this is fiction.
--R
05/18 |
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