She's probably reading what you wrote, bewildered still as to why you didn't want to create that future with her. Why, no matter how hard she tried, you struggled against walking together in a peaceful healthy supportive life and family path. Why she had to go out into the world alone to create a tiny fractured version of what you could have been together.
--DF
09/26 |
I loved this article. My daughter does research in communication studies and had mentionned porn & advertising with women's heads and/or hands cut off (which I hadn't noticed before). This article is a counter-piece to all that discussion. Well-written, hilarious & honest, poignant/moving. Bravo!
--kc
08/23 |
I just happened on this piece (I was looking for the Land's End Catalogue . . .)
I was married to one of these beautiful, thirtysomething, omnicompetent professional women fifteen years ago. Still am, but she's a grandmother now (recently she got pulled over by an airport security guard who thought she was trying to impersonate a woman of the age printed in her passport. Really).
What bothers me is how the author treats pictures of women like the woman he lost as porn. Is that how you saw her? Did you appreciate her competence? Her dedication? Her integrity? Did you let her know? When you complimented her on her appearance, or made suggestions, did you do it because you wanted her to look her best, or to suit yourself? Did she know which? Did she relate to you as a hunk or as a person with with integrity? Were your souls big enough to love and be loved, or just your bodies--maybe you both damned each other?
My love is perfectly competent enough to handle her life, her career, her kids without me. For some reason she seems emotionally dependent on my presence, which I can't figure out. I respect her life choices deeply, and it seems I'm one. Go figure.
Last night, when we went to bed, I told her about this article. Her skeptical comment: "yeah, that's the way Land's End tries to get their [women] customers to see themselves." We made quiet, gentle love.
--BP
07/07 |
have you tried the Boden catalogue - very real women, with mimi biogs :-)
--dn
04/25 |
I loved it. A great read. Sent it to my husband and my book group. I'm a happily married women in my mid fifties.
--DO
07/17 |
yes, some of the women in Lands End catalogs look more real..inviting..than the ones in Victoria's Secret. I must admit to being in love with one of the models myself..hope they show her more in future catalogs!!
--RK
06/29 |
Well, thank you for writing what for me marks a return to the Nerve I knew and loved, years ago, before they nixed Jack's naughty Bits, aesthetically challenging photo shoots, and other more intelligent curiosities. Keep it up! -Ms. Writer
--MSME
02/20 |
Oh how true it is. The catalog is a great read with the pictures and how life could be. Do you really want it like that?
Lest we not forget the truth, beauty fades, companionship in ones old age is the key.
I am still young, mid 40's, divorced with kids and far from bitter.
If she is tired of putting up with your shit, by all means, tell her to the hell out!
Oh, and I really do love those swimsuit pix...
--dcb
01/23 |
Great essay. I am still laughing/sobbing
cheers,
--dc
12/31 |
Richard Ford indeed! I just got the chance to read this thanks to a link on "Blog of a Bookslut". I thought I might be reading a lost section of "The Sportwriter" - then checked out the feedback posts and discovered (creepily) that I was not alone. Yeah, it owes something to Ford, but it's seriously good writing on its own. A brilliant analysis of how we engage with the representation of lifestyles in catalogs. Check out "The Territory Ahead" catalog for more material: overwritten fantasy projections of desired lifestyles which would make Peterman blush.
--MS
12/14 |
Thank you Richard Ford
--GM
12/13 |
That was an incredible piece of writing. As a thirty-something ,divorced, single male...it really hit home. It was melancholy in that warm way that reminds you of walking alone on a fall day, thinking of love lost and age-old regrets. So I don't know whether to thank you for it or not, but I must complement you on a brilliantly, terribly worded piece of exquisite writing.
--SMc
12/07 |
This story made me feel sexy just reading it.
--VA
11/30 |
Since moving to the West Coast, I don't receive the Lands End catalog that much anymore. Thankfully, the pornography that is the Crate and Barrel catalog is one that I can handle.
Great article.
--JMF
11/30 |
you nailed this. i have thought similar things looking at similar catalogs. the funny things is that the catalogs are trying to create a fantasy for women of their serious no-nonsense lands end selves ... the effect on us is just collatoral damage.
--ted
11/30 |
Concerning the new pornography - Land's End...
This is one of the best things I've ever read. Absolutely amazing! If I start typing anymore I'll go on for paragraphs, so I'll just leave it at that - Amazing.
--BTS
11/30 |
Even if this was written tongue in cheek, there's a lot of truth in it. Very bittersweet. To a lonely old man of forty-something like me, it rings utterly true.
--mmg
11/29 |
Do the art directors at Land's End know how deeply they affected you? Great piece.
-Chris Thompson
eagleapex.com
--CDT
11/29 |
It's such a relief that someone else out there is being cut off at the knees by seemingly innocuous, everyday items (in my case CD's). I search for a song or album I want to hear, and am crushed to discover it split when he did. And thus the spiral starteth...
Awesome, beautiful, heartbreaking. Thank you!
--lel
11/29 |
seriously? genius. friggin genius.
--jw
11/29 |
I love this article. Holy shit! it was absolutely fabulous. It also goes both ways though...perhaps one written about the real men who have slight love handles, and thinning hair, but hearts full of love. Damn, I think I am swooning.
--BH
11/29 |
I never would have thought that I would read a good article about Land's End catalogs. It was like a combination between Updike and Bukowski.
Beautifully insightful with subtle dark humor.
Nicely done.
--HWC
11/29 |
I really liked this article.
That's all.
Thanks.
--EDG
11/27 |
If this was supposed to be serious...I had an adverse reaction. It made me laugh for it's unique take and over-the-top emotions it evoked for the author. Chin-up, bud :)
--EF
11/27 |
I just had my heart ripped out by a guy who's used to dating the Vic. Sec.-aged, and my Land's End self just wasn't cutting it. He said the most craven things to get out of an entanglement with someone who had her shit together, and admitted as much. This article was the first thing that really made me feel better.
--t.j.
11/26 |
this is great
--
11/24 |
i laughed, i cried... because i identified. too funny, loved it.
--rc
11/22 |
that made me laugh. and feel bad at the same time.
--rjf
11/21 |
Finally! Someone who got away from obsessing about the wealthy and wrote about true pain!
--dd
11/21 |
John Parry Barlow you are definitely not. Can someone get this guy a Strunk & White? Grammar, grammar, grammar...
--JH
11/21 |
That was great!!!
You know... Land's End also has a swimsuit issue! ROFL!!
--JB
11/21 |
Very good. I hope you don't really feel this bad, and have this many regrets, about your last relationship. I hope it was meant with a sense of humor. Either way, I liked the piece.
--cc
11/21 |
Is there seriously no feedback on this article yet? Bitterly beautiful. To the author: Please write more! Thank you for sharing this.
--PYC
11/20 |
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