Actually, you are taking advantage of the abuse he suffered when he was little that made hime a sadist. It is explained in the book Schema Therapy. His true self wants someone to invalidate the abuse he suffered when he was little but his survival instinct is still too afraid of his childhood abusers to allow him to ask.
www.schematherapy.com
--J.S.
10/28 |
Yes!
--sm
11/14 |
certainly, as it is for a man
--AJW
11/12 |
Yes. My mother once called me "aggressively friendly." I like people and reach out often. However, I am more than happy to surrender my reins to my husband. It pleases us both in many ways.
--KJ
10/22 |
of course! it is all about "consensual"...a choice, and a wonderful choice, for a woman whose nature desires/craves submission...all of the ethical measures in place: a safe word, and so on. to me, the true key to feminism is summed up in the word "choice."
--rose
10/10 |
Of course. It is a lifestyle choice. True female submissives are not doormats. They hare women who choose to give their partners the gift of submission. Societal views on D/s relationships are too stereotyped and out of touch with reality.
--MSM
10/07 |
good work, congratulations..
o
--OH
10/07 |
You betcha!!
--fd
10/06 |
No, we women are worriers. We never have a clean conscience.
--
10/05 |
yes. Very possible... Wait, I hate to be technical, but I think the question is very poorly worded. Do you mean "possible for a woman with a clean conscience to choose...." or is it he whole relationship that needs a clean conscience? Clean? what's thatin reference to anyway? What is clean? What is dirty? What is SEXY? hmmmmmmmm
--kmd
10/03 |
In a word, "Yes."
--PN
10/02 |
I am a man wgho is in a BDSM relationship with two women. They are both wonderful strong women who are primarily submissive but we do switch the ends of the power exchange continuum we are on occasionally. They both ahve entirley clear consciences.
--CT
10/02 |
Yes it is, because it is a CHOICE.....it is not something the society or a man is forcing on her...
--DLG
10/02 |
Absolutely! The key point is "choice" and to me, that is what the women's movement was all about when i was involved in it back in the '70s. To choose to submit is not always easy, nor is it to dominate, but that is all a part of the D/s dance and what makes it so wonderful to some people.
--Luza
10/02 |
I think she should have the option to switch but willingly submit... it's no fun to play one role only...
--mm
10/01 |
Yes it is and only on the basis that submission, sex and
sexuality is "clean" in the first place. Like the great
artist Prince said 'It is not about the body but about
the mind. When you materialize the sublime and sensual
the 'dirty and naughty' emerges. There goes the neighbor-
hood.
--ALN
10/01 |
why is it always a question of role playing? sex may be an act, but i don't think that means "acting" and when is role playing related to conscience? a role by nature is an attempt to make linear what is in actuality dynamic. we may play roles but living them is going to cause nothing but tension in any relationship. human beings are not submissive by nature nor are they dominant, try neutral/polymodal?
--XP
10/01 |
Of course! But then I am biased. I am a submissive, but that does not stop me from calling bs or pulling the stops if someone wants to treat me like dirt. I can be an independent active person and submissive to my partner at the same time without a flinch.
--lily
10/01 |
As a submissive, i can answer that question with a big ol' YES it is...it is actually the most freeing place to be!!! i assure you that my conscious is clean...and safe sane AND consentual
--CA
10/01 |
Good lord yes! Of course ?Choose? is the operative word here. I have had relationships with very strong D/s components to them. I found that it was best when someone had a very strong sense of self and worst with someone that was looking be unburdened themselves of personal responsibility. Frankly, the same basis of any good, healthy, relationship. When viewed from the outside, it can indeed be difficult to understand the paradox that at the basis of any dom/sub relationship, like all others, very mutual respect is still at the core. But like all things sexual, you have better have a very healthy sense of humor about this stuff. Its amazing how many people confuse bdsm and d/s with a religion. At the risk of being immodest (oh, hell who am I kidding, I write things because I like people to read them), I have a website where I have a series of short essays with my own skewed view of all the stuff that people get so worked up about at: http://members.aol.com/sinfultales No, not a drop of porn to be found, just humor, and a damn good reading list!
--mdd
09/30 |
Absolutely, I know several who have and could not be happier. By the same token, either a woman or a man should be free to choose either the submissive or the dominant postion in a relationship with a clean conscience, as long as the position of both is taken with full knowledge and consent of both parties. And of course, there is also the option to switch. It may not be completely a matter of choice anyway. Dominance or submission can be as much a part of the innate sexuality of an individual as their choice of their partner's gender. To deny it is to deny their own self, and their chance for true happiness.
--dbs
09/30 |
YES!
--lr
09/30 |
Absoluteley, as a mater of fact only strong women are able to get to the outside/
--
09/30 |
These days it more difficult! In these days of constant changing of women's expectatiuon towards other women. the sexual behavior of women is like walking through a minefiels with out any map!Is it possible? absolutely!As lonfg as one can no give a damn about other's opinions A woma's choice should be hers only!
--KCG
09/30 |
Question: is a 'submission' to this panel a submissive act?
--CEN
09/29 |
Wouldn't it be most revealing to be able to tell 'male' postings from 'female' ones? I'm male :-))
--CEN
09/29 |
Yes, it has been my experience that women can; if fact the last three women I have been in relationships with were very happy and comfortable in a submissive role
--RLQ
09/29 |
Yes, I have, and my conscience is very clear, in the D/s (Dominant/submissive) community, submission is a major part, it is not threatening, or demeaning, but an exchange of power. In a D/s lifestyle, submission is a conscious action and is not to be abused, in fact, seems a lot healthier to me, a conscious, consenting act.... between two people.
--SD
09/29 |
That depends on how high self-opinionated she is, I guess.
That depends on what she may obtain through playing this game, too. I knew a young woman who would hardly complain to my sometimes despisable behaviour because she thought she would posess me for a lifetime. Of course, when I told her that I wasn't ready for that, she dumped me, saying "do you ever think of the people around you?" I think she chose a submissive position in order to avoid making decisions. It came out to be true sexually as well. She would never speak out her fantasies or take risks. I was always to take the initiatives, and then she happened to say that she wasn't as "wide-minded" as I am! Well, when I don't get any creative feedback, either I loose interest or I become cruel. I am flexible enough to switch roles, so I encouraged her to play a dominant role, hoping that she may get a kick out of it. Forget it, man. All that she wanted was to "feel me". How boring life can get! So you're wondering about keeping a "clean conscience"? I am tempted to say that women perfectly know what they are doing. They are hunters by nature and if they choose a submissive position, they have something on their minds for sure. Beware! Watch out! Don't surrender.
--j.s.
09/28 |
Women have been choosing this role for centuries and do to this day. It not only is possible with a clear conscience but an integral part of many relationships. There are more men who chose this role than generally believed by mainstream society and also has been happening for years untold. Not all of these relationships involve the type portrayed in the film, although many do, but take various forms that are essential to those relationships working.
--rs
09/28 |
Yes yes yes. Sometimes a woman chooses the position as submissive. Sometimes a woman naturally feels it in her relationship. Even in this new millenium. It is always a womans right to choose :) When she doesnt do it with a clean conscience is would be considered abuse.
--Ang
09/27 |
It's sexist even to ask.
--MJ
09/27 |
ummm YEA if you are submissive! Honestly what kind of question is that? Submission is NOT something bad or wrong, that should make you feel guilty or cloud your conscience.
I know there are women out there that believe that being submissive, or being submissive within a relationship is "betraying" the woman's movement, however since when is a political artifice something that should drive what we find fulfilling not only sexually but emotionally?
--spw
09/27 |
Yes very much so.
--JJ
09/27 |
First of all, as a queen bee professional, I want to acknowledge (admit?) the fact that secretaries or, to be currently pc, administrative support staff are the strength of an office*/ - the glue that helps all us frenetic overskilled professionals and execs function effectively. They sometimes dominate relationships and procedures within the office, much like a woman in India or Japan who seems socially subservient but rules the home. So, girlfriend, with good conscience, go for the freeing joy of surrender... taking him into you, letting him take you any way he wants as long as you can refocus him if you're not comfortable with it, being his vessel and conduit is our power as women. Really good secretaries, men as well as women, understand this power too.
--TEB
09/27 |
Yes, as the key word here is "choose".
--MM
09/27 |
eh hem....fuck yes!
--lf
09/27 |
Being in a Dom/Sub relationship with the woman being Sub has done more for her than I could have ever imagined possible. We just "fell" into it without having thought it over first. Does she have a clear conscience about it - yes! She has separated out our relationship from the others around her, and that has made the difference.
-Chance.
--CG
09/27 |
Should a woman be afraid to choose a submissive position? Your question makes it sound like it is against nature for the woman to be submissive or to choose a submissive role (as you put it). What does conscience have to do with sub/dom in a relationship? Are we pandering to the Feminists and making this a male dominant issue assuming that you are puting the male dominant role as the 'norm'.
--jri
09/27 |
A great Q, but this thick head needs just a little more clarification of what you're asking. When you said 'choose',I see that as an answer to the Q of conscience
--CDub
09/27 |
Yes, there isnt anything more powerful than that!
--MJI
09/27 |
A woman who chooses to be submissive should have as clean a conscience as a woman who chooses to be dominant. Both have equal responsibility toward making a power exchange relationship work.
--MsB
09/26 |
Simply put... YES !!!
--LC
09/26 |
If the woman enters the relationship with an open mind, some basic homework, and a clear sense of expectations that have been communicated with her partner, I say yes!
--SMB
09/26 |
It's only possible if that person is naturally that way. I don't think it's right to totally deny who you are just to be in a relationship---love has many ebbs and flows. It would probably be more healthy to submit on occassion. And it also depends on the situation, as I have found myself needing to be submissive.
--kmb
09/26 |
YES MOST DEFINITELY.
Clean conscience? are you kidding? How immature do you think we are? Are we asking the question, "Is it possible for a woman to choose a submissive position in a relationship with a clean conscience?" or are we asking, "Is it possible for a woman to choose a submissive position at all and be fulfilled with something that goes against OLD FEMINIST GUARD??"
OR are we asking also, "Is it possible for a man to choose a submissive position in a relationship with a clean conscience?"
OR
can we ask this of people in general (without defined or undefined genders)
My answer is YES, YUM, BRING IT ON! any healthy person can safely and lovingly and honestly pursue any model of relationship they desire, especially if it is with another healthy person!
(healthy means emotional and psychological health)
When two or more people have good will toward each other and accept themselves and are self aware they can go far far far beyond what the typical, shamed, blind, codependent, repressed person can.
~melissa coffey
submissive, dominant, top, bottom, omnisexual
--
09/26 |
Yes of course. Why not? As long as it is her informed choice, it's fine.
--SP
09/26 |
Absolutely. If the Feminist Movement was about anything of substance it was about empowering women to make their own choices in all aspects of their lives, regardless of social dictates about what "nice girls do" or "don't do." Assuming full informed consent, women (and men) have the right to configure their relationships as they see fit. I have not seen the film yet, so I have some reservations concerning the portrayal of someone recently deinstitutionalized engaging in power exchange relationships; that said, I nevertheless believe that all competent adults have (and should consciously exercise) complete sovereignty over their intimate relationships. Church, state, peers, and other outsiders have no standing to dictate, interfere, or prescribe in this most personal area.
--JF
09/26 |
YES
--dkb
09/26 |
The key word in that question is "choose". A woman should be allowed to choose any position in a relationship that makes her happy. The essence of the battle for feminine power is to give all women that right to choose.
--PR
09/26 |
Yes, it is "possible" for me to 'chose' to be submissive and to do so with full understanding and awareness of what I am doing / choosing.
CAUTION: My response does NOT apply to every woman nor to every person who acts in a submissive manner!
One (male or female) MUST have self respect and confidence BEFORE one can make such a choice/decision!
--LR
09/26 |
Yes it is. I have been in a submissive relationship with a wonderful man and
for me it is everything I have ever wanted and hoped for. There are no secrets
between us at all and he makes me expand my horizons, both personal and in
the business world. With his backing I went back to college and will graduate
next year. At work I supervise men and women and am in charge, but at home
I wait on him hand and foot and am thankful for the honor.
--bp
09/26 |
Sure! Why not! If a man can do it surely a woman can.
--BB
09/26 |
A submissive personality is as much a part of the total person as your hair color, eye color, or other natural parts of you. There should be no question of conscience if someone is a submissive or Dominant, it's just who we are.
--NH
09/25 |
Yes, of course.
--SD
09/25 |
Absolutely. My Master and I are exploring the 24/7 lifestyle. I have chosen to be completely submissive to him. Do I have a clean conscience? Without a doubt. I love him and would follow him to the ends of the earth. My conscience is at peace.
--kb
09/25 |
OF course, just as it is possible for a man to do. Why wouldn't it be?????????????????
--H
09/25 |
What is submissive and what is dominant? Can parts of a relationship be submissive and parts of it be dominant? I'm a pretty dominant person....yet I choose to take a submissive role to my husband in our home. This is my choice. I am happier this way. It works for me, and it works for my husband, and if nobody else likes it, well....they don't have to live with us. Screw 'em.
--clg
09/25 |
Without a doubt!!! As a 24/7 submissive living with her Master for 5 years I can tell when it is who you are then there is no choice, you are simply living your life as is natural to you and not by societal mores. As for a clean conscience...so clean that ALL my friends and family, without exception, know of my lifestyle and adore my Master and how much He cherises me.
--la
09/25 |
yes
--tc
09/25 |
Absolutely. A woman should be free to coose either a dominant or submissive role in a relationship. Anything other than free choice is abuse.
--DE
09/25 |
Yes, and even if the position is submissive it doesn't mean the woman is. Some women can top from the bottoms position.
--xx
09/25 |
Yes, The grrls and boys can choose a submissive position.
--tj
09/25 |
Yes it is possible.
--Sly
09/25 |
It is definitely possible for a woman to choose a submissive position in a relationship.
--bmn
09/25 |
definately yes
--mes
09/25 |
Yes - a man can also choose a submissive position and find fulfillment in that role
--FV
09/25 |
Yes
--cc
09/25 |
Yes, as they can choose a dominating position in a relationship with a clean conscience making a man submissive. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander, or VICE VERSA in this case.
--KW
09/25 |
there is much strenght in submission. Not only is this possible for a woman but also for a man. This movie showed that pain was a release from pain deep inside that became a sexual pleasure. For some it is foreplay for some it's just because it feels so good. Of course for some there is that I am worthless so beat me, bt it is not the norm. As a Mistress sex is much more intense for me if I have had BDSM foreplay
--MDW
09/25 |
Yes. I am a submissive woman because I CHOOSE to be. Plus, i am ONLY submissive to the One I choose.
--TS
09/25 |
Absolutely...but she must do so with informed consent. Otherwise it is not submission, but instead 'people pleasing'...It is important to learn the difference between choosing submission and trying to control someone with ones submission. Choosing submission out of love is beautiful and leaves a person feeling happy, joyous and free. But choosing submission because you are afraid that if you don't submit you will lose your partner, or they will no longer love you..or you have no worth, is nothing more than an unhealthy relationship. And only the person doing the submitting can really be the judge of that. Because they both look the same, but they feel VERY different.
--DS
09/25 |
...a woman, andn also a man - YES!
--gk
09/25 |
Yes. Of Course. This is like asking if it is possible for a woman to choose to eat if she is hungry.
--rj
09/25 |
Most definitely. It requires a partner who is willing to communicate both ways, to hear you, and to talk with you. Relationships are rich and varied, and this is just one aspect. Sometimes for myself, I relish the idea of letting go after another part of my life is so responsible. It's freeing...
--TKL
09/25 |
It is possible, with negotiation, informed consent, and safety and sanity clearly in mind, for a woman (or man) to choose a submissive position in a relationship with a clean conscience. There are many people, in the BDSM Lifestyle, who do just that.
--alm
09/25 |
Very much so. In fact if the woman is submissive, by accepting the way she is, it will only make her stronger and more fulfilled in life.
--SL
09/25 |
ABSOLUTELY
--LR
09/25 |
Yes it is because she made the choice to do so. Society did not expect her to be the submissive nor did she cave into the male's wishes. I am currently in a submissive/Dominant relationship and I wish to be in this position and accept all my Dominant puts me through. When he is happy with me I am happy.
I maintain a high power position in a large company, I maintain my own apartment and car. I can with clear conscience choose the submissive role because I know who am and can ultimately depend on myself.
--GG
09/25 |
When any adult has true autonomy and consent they should feel comfortable choosing any role in a relationship. True submission, not subjugation, is a position of equal power.
--DAH
09/25 |
Absolutely! just as she may choose a dominant position with a "clean conscience." After all, what is done with forethought and conscious consent is a more mature and healthy decision than what is simply acted out from unconscious motivations or impulses.
--svp
09/25 |
Yes
--EJ
09/25 |
Absolutely! As long as the choice is made freely and the relationship is based on either a Safe, Sane and Consensual negotiation, or at the very least a Risk Aware Consensual basis, why shouldn't that choice be considered clean conscience? See for yourself: www.SirBamm.com
--SB!
09/25 |
Absolutely. When anyone, man or woman spends all day working, being in charge, bossing around others and decides that when they come home they simply want to rid themselves of their day, being submissive takes all the decisions and puts them in the hands of another.
Also, when a man or a woman has been told all their life that they are to do for others, help others and care for others, then it naturally follows that they would get enjoyment out of the submission and servitude as it reaches a depp down desire to please and do what they've been taught all their life.
--BR
09/25 |
Why not? Is it possible for a man to choose a dominant position in a relationship with a clean conscience?
If you'd stop worring about conscience, and more about what feels right, perhaps you could get on with your day!
--NHDV
09/25 |
absolutely - people play different roles naturally in relationship or for play alone. someone can be a total DOM in how they live their life on a daily basis (i.e. their modus operandi in the world) possibly they require a lot of control in their life, and being sexually submissive is an outlet to let go, to be totally controlled or directed.
--EH
09/24 |
My girlfriend has chosen a submissive position at times without any doubt as it turns her on. Some of our sex play after work has me order her to wear one of my dress shirts, to stay naked, in heels. If the mixed drink is not strong enough, I playfully spank her bare butt a few times. Although she doesnt like lesbian porn videos, I say, TS, were watching one tonight, as two babes wrestle and then tweak each others nipples and then get into a very scorching thigh to thigh rubbing session, ending in two sqirming honeys moaning and screaming as they come. Its all a game, as she gets to order me around and spank me.
--REP
09/24 |
Yes. What is done in a relationship is the choice of the people involved in that relationship. I know many woman desire to be in the submissive role. To find a partner who understands this and fulfills the needs of the woman and themselves is great. This can be an empowering situation for all involved.
--AH
09/24 |
Yes, of course. It takes a strong, self possessed woman to give up control in a relationship. It takes trust in the dominant partner, trust that his decision and his control will be to the best of both. Not only is it possible with a clean conscience, it makes for much less stress in a relationship. There are no power struggles, it is made clear who is in control.
--MLB
09/24 |
oh, yes...
--HGH
09/24 |
It is a womans right to be able to choose how she relates to another, especially one she is intimately involved with. If that position is under her "man," then there should be no one standing in her way (except him). Further, women who are submissive to their "men" should be treated like an equal by all but the one that she is submissive to. Personally, I would applaud such women and encourage more to take that road; not because I like them, but because many feel leanings toward it but choose not to indulge.
--RC
09/23 |
There is nothing about a woman - or a man - choosing a submissive position that would inherently interfere with her having a clean conscience, as long as she does so freely, voluntarily and *her* choice meets *her* needs. Some people are by nature submissive and feel fulfilled in this role. However, one need not be submissive in all aspects of a relationship or life or to all people; someone may be submissive in bed but not in the office.
If someone applies any type of force or pressure to influence her taking a submissive role - or any other role, the relationship shifts from being healthy to being abusive, since she is being compelled by someone else to meet that person's needs or desires. The force or pressure can be physical, verbal, emotional or financial. Even then it is the person applying the pressure whose conscience should not be clean because of the use of force.
--/LAA
09/23 |
Absolutely. Much of sexuality is pre-programed. Consensual submission adds
an entirely new wrinkle to the beauty of sexuality. As part of consent, there
must also be negotiation, understanding, honesty and trust. Without you can
not reach the depths of intimacy and arousal that can be reached via SM.
SM, is bottom line, about sexuality and loving. Any trusing safe, sane, consensual avenue
allows you to reach the beauty that our sexuality allows us.
Anyone who worrys about sexuality in terms of a "clean conscience" is dealing with
problems of sexual repression, and has not yet expressively opened themselves to
all that sexuality can offer.
--lls
09/23 |
Of course she can. Being submissive does not mean being a doormat. It takes serious soul-searching and real strength of character to willingly yield to the will of another. Submissives are made of extremely strong stuff, which is what makes their gift of submission all the more gratifying to those of us who accept and treasure such a gift.
--LCFR
09/23 |
I dont think such a thing wholey exists in a relationship. Not a functional one at least. Relationships are about power balance- being submissive has so many meanings and connotations. Sexually submission is powerful- ever seen a inexperienced top be given the safeword for the first time?
--b
09/23 |
Even the fact that this question is asked shows why most american women are horrible in bed. Why does it always have to be about competition with men? Why can't american women be women and stop trying to be men? Let them be men... I am looking for a woman, chances are the one I find will not be american.
--gnn
09/22 |
yes, but only if she likes the missionary position.
--RL
09/21 |
Of course. It's a matter of having enough trust to let go and have someone else be in charge.
--SW
09/21 |
Absolutely! This is the Natural Order of Things. Because of societal dictates, both Men and women have been fed an endless rhetoric of women as independent and strong. While we often have to be this in many areas of our lives it is a relief to let go and decide nothing! To be dependent upon someone stronger. The acculturation has forced us to subconsciously act unnaturally. Hence, it is a relief to be spanked! It allows a woman to feel the exquisite surrender to a stronger being. she CHOOSES this -- it is of her own accord. To NOT feel a clean conscience means she is not following her instinct -- she is still resisting -- she is still trapped in the pc mandate. Instead, she must be open to such a thing for it to be healthy and to feel good, which for me feels not just good, but sublime. Ironically, women who appear to have superior stength and confidence are often the ones who have the greatest submissive needs -- this is because they are comfortable w/themselves and they are fully open to exploring their inherent sexuality.
--klk.
09/21 |
If she is forced she has no choice,if she asks ,well there you go.
--FF
09/21 |
My thoughts are yes a woman can choose to be submissive in a relationship with a clean conscience. As a woman who is Out in the BDSM community in the greater San Francisco Bay Area... I enjoy both sides of Power Exchange as a Top/Domme and as a submissive. They are two intregal parts of who i am. I get great joy and power from giving my self
submissively to my more Dominant mate. And yes i live daily with a very clear happy conscience!
--STW
09/21 |
I have seen that it is not only possible for either gender to be submissive or dominant within a relationship, but that for many it is an absolute requirement for them to have a healthy relationship. Submissive people are not door mats, weak or abused by any means! They know what they want and what they don’t, and even though they may like to feel “taken” by their partner. They truly are only haven taken from them what they wished to give to that special person anyway.
-- Mitch Herman, proud to live the lifestyle!
--MH
09/21 |
Of course not. With the world being what it is today, no woman can honestly enter into a submissive position without feeling guilt that she is a traitor to the feminist cause. Are you submissive because you truly want to be, or because society has instilled it into you to be submissive to men?
--JCL
09/21 |
It's so hot to be taken by someone you really want! It's hot to totally give yourself over to your partner. If sexually it's good , it's good. period, no apology.
--SM
09/20 |
A woman or a man for that matter should feel no guilt when chosing to be submissive in a relationship. For many it offers an alternative to the rest of the day when we might be Dominaint in our career. I think that as long as we still accept responsibility for ourselves and our other relationships, we might thouroughly enjoy giving up all control to another without any need for guilt or doubt.
Yours in Life, Love and Leather,
Robert aka "Morpheus"
"My solitary path allows unobstructed vistas, and an untrampled landscape." (Morpheus 11/24/99)
http://www.tampafetishparty.com
--RLL
09/20 |
Yes
Not eberyone is/can be the dom. Sometimes being taken is half the fun!
--KAR
09/20 |
YES Yes yes!!!
They can and do in every day life! It does not mean that they are submissive to everyone, in every situation. They choose to be submissive, happily, giving control over to one who has gained their respect and trust. The depth of such a relationship can be, not only enpowering and freeing but also mind blowing!
--mp
09/20 |
Most definitely. There is a greater trust level inherent in Ds or S&M relationships that just isn't necessary in 'vanilla' relationships. Perhaps it can be found in 'vanilla' but it's not required. When you trust someone enough to trust them with your life... with your well being... with your soul... your conscience is clean and you feel totally free. Submission is consensual. Power is GIVEN... not TAKEN.
--sm
09/20 |
No
--rb
09/20 |
Now...how do I put this without sounding overly-macho? I think it is probably the natural tendency of things-from a gender stand point, women tend toward the submissive. That's not to say that there aren't exceptions to the rule. Take the Clinton's, for example...
--jcw
09/20 |
Yes.
--LGG
09/20 |
Ifthat is her wish, yes.
--KNS
09/20 |
YES. I have seen research that claims traditional sex roles is one of the characteristics of enduring marriages with high levels of satisfaction.
I think many people are disappointed with the social experiment of women being in charge in a relationship. It seems contrived and unnatural to me.
--JCP
09/20 |
Yes. As long as she and her partner understand that this is a choice, and that it doesn't diminish her worth as a person.
--aa
09/20 |
The key word in this question is CHOOSE. When a woman says "I choose to be submissive" she's forcing the other into the role of the dominatnt, And when someone else forces you into a role, sexual or otherwise, there really is no conscience involved, let alone, dirtied.
--CLL
09/18 |
BDSM makes you realize that by "giving up power" you are in actuality the one with the power. Things are not always as they seem. Women in our culture find ways to seem "feminine" yet still subtly rule the roost. - I think my mom is a perfect example.
--ll
09/18 |
I find it interesting that one hardly ever asks the same question of men!
How can women and men be equal in our society if women are denied the choices available to the latter?
--aPl
09/18 |
I'll have to ask my Dom
--NP
09/18 |
You betcha. Even a successful executive businesswoman can enjoy a little "bottoming" from time to time! There's something about giving up control, completely, to someone you trust that is incredibly intoxicating.
--LHM
09/18 |
as long as you enjoy it
--mm
09/18 |
My girlfriend and me have a great sexual thing going. After work by 6pm we are showering and fooling around in the bathroom before we sip wine and eat dinner. She struts around in her killer heels to show off her glistening supple body for me, naked of course. We are not into BDSM, nothing but occasional playful spanking, nipple tweaking, rubbing tummies and I guess she is submissive often, as she loves to try new sex positions, esp when I am behind her as in doggie style. I did order her to go bare, and then I let her trim it in the form of a little valentine. I also order her to kneel down for oral sex as she loves to massage and spank my buns before I push her back on the bed for a long bout of slow man on top screwing. We vary every night.
--TOJ
09/18 |
I think this is a weird question. Why would choosing to go along with the historical status quo, to an exaggerated degree, whether it's your turn-on or pressure from family/religion/culture, give a woman a dirty conscience? Who's out there pointing fingers? I hear sometimes that "feminists disapprove", but I hear that from non-feminists, not feminists. For the record - I think kinky people should stop flattering themselves - I think feminists have things to do besides try to throw a wet blanket on your contrived "naughtiness". And if this isn't what this question was alluding to, could someone please explain to me what else it meant?
Thank you,
Marnie
professional submissive in L.A. and NYC
--MR
09/18 |
It's every man or woman's perogative to choose a submissive position. Some get good at topping from below. They may act submissive, but they sure know how to get their way! I believe the healthiest relationships are founded on mutual respect and consideration, with positions within the relationship that are fluid. One person isn't always dominant. Sexually, as well, anyone can choose whatever position they want. I get bored with the same role and need to be with someone who can switch. My ex-boyfriend loved to be tied up, spanked, and "forced" to sexually serve me. But occasionally I'd ask him to put me over his knee. As long as boundaries are respected, it's all good.
----RW
09/18 |
Absolutely. There are feminists who claim it's a betrayal of women overall by somehow compromising their power, but in my mind feminism is a woman having the freedom to make the same choices a man can, not that she has to occupy the same position that men have held in the past. If her choice is to be submissive, then so be it.
--KG
09/17 |
Yes, yes, most definitely yes
--mmr
09/17 |
hi. i like to get spanked.
--ds
09/17 |
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