REGULARS

Reader Feedback on "Are You There God? It's Me, Emma"

I am a Christian, and believe that the Bible, AS ORIGINALLY WRITTEN, is the Word of God. When I was in high school, I would have questions about what the Bible actually meant. I wondered what "fornication" and "adultery" actually meant. If sex outside of marriage was always banned. I searched through the Old Testament law, and could not find out where singles could not have sex. HOWEVER, in most cases, the wife was expected to be a virgin, but then again, they got married when there were 13 or 14. Much different than today. I found out that I was not alone. I do not have space to write a lot of what I have found, but here is one place to start with: Christianity and Sex: http://www.thefamily.org/dossier/books/book5/main.htm
--pjs
06/12

Emma, I am 19 year old virgin male. I think it is alot different being a virgin male being that (its impossible to tell if a dude is a virgin, and it doesnt say anywhere in the bible for a man to stay a virgin)...but I do it being it forces me to subconciosly seek out a female who is desperate to "understand" above all ..."God" as well. This life is filled with a multitude (millions) of variables...twist and turns, let downs, mis conceptions, lies, ideals, expectations,half truths, fraud, deceit, ...want.... and that is what makes it impossible to say "I am a christian" Becuase all in all...its a noun, a verb, a pronoun...etc... I have come to find in my current short life...that "God...is everywhere"...but in a different sense....in the sense that yes..."im somewhere"....."im something"...so yes, I am apart of God....so in a sense....now that I believe that I am in fact apart of God,. "a nerve of God"....I make it my priority to interpret the bible rather than " live by mans interpretations laws and cultural expectations". I have learnt that God, Bible aside....God wants us to seek him, hear him, understand him, exercise in his thoughts, etc etc.....within ourselves...becuase its fact that 100 percent of our(God) reality is psychological.----but choices----either make or break our (OWN) minds..."disconnecting" us from "God"(aka...our own psychological ability to believe that we can commune with him.)--he stays the same...our choices...make or break us...and culture is the caste that determines how we make or break. David
--
08/15

spreading the word about good sex is good enough for me...
--tca
08/28

Wow Emma, Your story was...sadly pathetic for lack of a better description. I chuckled to myself as I read some of it because I went through some of the same things. Thinking back to the difference in high school and college life the issue isn't walking straight as an arrow for God thinking you have earned your way into heaven, but it is about building your continous relationship with Him whether you turn back a few steps or not. I am sure you already know this, but it needs to be repeated. When you were a "dork as you put it believe it or not, it spoke volumes to others because it is so easy to be just like everyone else and harder to do the uncouth. You will never know whose life you have affected until you go before the Lord and receive your reward. Prayerfully, you haven't tapped out your entire account up there.
--ctb
11/25

Dear Emma, Reading "Are You There God?" took me back to 1976. Now my life is in tatters--husband sleeping with another woman, shortly after I got fired from a job I loved. Then my mother who has been smoking for more than 60 years suddenly had to be on oxygen 24/7. And I have a special needs daughter. The point of my message is: what the hell? Is there love on this planet? Your friend, Miss Maureen
--
11/18

Emma, I can't believe it took me this long to find this essay. I was/have been in a very very similar situation (I was raised Seventh-day Adventist), except that I'm a hepatitis B carrier, so I can't be quite as experimental as I'd like to be. Also, I didn't exactly go through the same self-awakening/enlightenment process that you did. I found out that my father was bisexual when I was 15, and that threw enough of a wrench in my ideas about sexuality and God and what a father was that I was forced to reformat, so to speak. I don't exactly disagree with what you said about Christianity not being a "pick and mix" religion, but I would like to suggest that there are many forms of Christianity. I agree that the "Are you a Christian?" question is a difficult one to answer. I have no wish to be associated with organizations such as Campus Crusade for Christ, or proselytizing in any form. However, having said that...if you were to ask me if I believe in grace, if I believe in forgiveness as a moral requirement, if I believe that God exists, if I believe that all people have fundamental equal value, or if I believe that it's possible that this God did in some way sacrifice in order to give meaning to human existence (I still struggle with intrinsic versus extrinsic human value. My humanism wrestles with my self-doubt and nihilism.), then I'd have to answer yes to any of those. Fundamentally - but not in a fundamental way! - I am a Christian, because I love the ideals of Christ. I love the thought that love like that can exist, and that it can be shared with and by me. Anyways...sorry this got so long! Thanks so much for sharing. I think there are more of us out there than I realize. Your sister in searching,
--KC
11/03

wow...i can completely relate!
--th
10/20

That was so interesting, Emma. I wish a friend of mine could read it, she recently lost her virginity after saving it as a devout christian, she's 26 yrs old. She is one of the most confused and hurt ppl i know right now. She is addicted to sex, she says, and she feels like a complete failure and loser. She thinks that she let God down and she pretty much hates herself and the fact that she really enjoys sex. She struggles with fear of disease, because she only uses a condom some of the time, but she was smart enough to get on the pill, cuz she knows she doesn't wanna get pregnant. She's truly depressed and seeing a shrink. I wish that she could read your article, for the simple fact of knowing that she's not alone or weird in feeling the way she does. But guess what?? She's never gonna read it, because i refuse to introduce her to Nerve. This is a very pornographic place, that I, as a christian myself, wish that i had never found. The articles and photos here feed every sinful impulse that a person has. It is possible to be so trapped by sex that you think of it constantly....which is where i am. I don't want my friend to be there. Your essay was riveting and real, but will also never help anyone do or become anything positive. You will also have to answer to God for the souls that u affected.
--lj
10/17

Miss Taylor, you truly do have a gift. With a few gender-based word substitutions your story told mine. So, nice work. Nerve is as lucky to have you somewhere readily at hand as you are them, and we are you both.
--BLU
10/13

Hey Emma! I'm not going to pray for you, 'cause you don't need it. (Not that this agnostic prays all that much, but, oh well!) you're figuring it out. making your own waves, carving your own path...if there's a sensible, loving god out there, why would She want everyone one to act the same exact way all the time? Keep spreading your Sex-Positive Love throughout the world. It's god's work just the same!
--JJ
10/10

Hi Emma, I've been through a radical transformation of my sexual morals and beliefs about the Bible, that has found me sometimes yelling at God, sometimes ecstatically worshipping the Lord of the Universe who made all mysteries, including all the questions, my clitoris...flowers, babies, penises, nipples, singing, humor...anyway, because I've prayed through this insane journey outside the box, I feel that I am closer to God -- God is MORE real to me, because I am not playing at believing things my soul finds untrue. I am growing more comfortable living with paradox, trusting like a little child as I explore the adult world of play...holding God's hand, not shutting her out of my sexuality. When I first became a Christian, I was drawn to Jesus. Then I was sucked into fundamentalism and deceived, though not intentionally, into believing that to give your whole self to Jesus, you have to sell your soul to the doctrines of biblical inerrancy, premillenial dispensationalism, subjugation of women and repression of healthy, joyful, human sexuality. Now being free of all that, I understand the feeling, "you can never go home" - and I can't, if home means fundamentalism. But I am closer to home than I've ever been if home means intimacy with the God of Jesus. Emma, God loves your sex, your pleasure. Jesus came so we could have life to the fullest! Only the evil one comes to steal and kill and destroy what is genuinely good. (John 10:10). Why do people always talk about sex as sin saying stuff like, "Well the devil had to make sin fun or people wouldn't do it"? Every other sin I know of is not fun...maybe enticing, maybe a sort of sick high, but always enslaving. Is it fun to be angry and have hate eating away your heart? Is it fun to be an alcoholic and see your addiction destroy your family slowly, despite your love for them? I think sex becomes sin when it disrespects the dignity and humanity of anyone involved, when it violates a commitment, is done deceptively or manipulatively or when it becomes an enslaving addiction. Sex that celebrates life, is mutually consenting among all it affects and creates feelings of health and vitalitly among those involved is surely part of the abundant life Jesus wants to give! For an excellent and faithful, (though of course imperfect) non-fundamentalist biblical exegesis of sexual issues, check of "Dirt Greed & Sex" by L. William Countryman. I think he has written some other books that may be of interest to you as well. I challenge you Emma, to make God first in your life once again - not something peripheral that you still sort of believe in, but Someone who is with you on every part of the adventure called life. Pray to your Mommy/Daddy in heaven that the Spirit will free you from false guilt, convict you of real guilt and lead you deeper into the mystery of Christ. I will be praying for you, not that you return to your old faith, but that you travel ahead on the road of grace, letting God take over the wheel and drive you crazy with his Love. Write me anytime: periwinklekraze@yahoo.com
--AS
10/02

hey emma, wow, your life does sound alot like mine. i've been n to church. i've been the girl who tried everything but sex, trying to wait until i was married to go all the way. then i met a guy who i just was nuts for, and decided not to wait. and i've been to campus crusade. reading your comments, made me want to share what i have felt, as non-virgin christian woman. sometimes i wish i still was a virgin. i can't change the fact now, but i can make choices everyday. i think god meant for sex in marriage to be a blast, make people want kids and make them stay married, because they could share body, mind, spirit-all of themselves, with somebody who wouldn't leave except if death separated you. i find sex as a single woman, has never been any of what i wanted it to be, or hoped it would be. it has been a letdown. i'm choosing to still go to church, and stop having sex, until i get married. i hope and expect it will be better then. i would ask-and this is just for you to ask yourself- are you really happier having sex with somebody who has no committment to stay with you, and are you really happy where god's at in yourlife now? those are things you can think about for yourself. i am constantly analyzing my choices, that i made and that i'm making. i think going almost all the way is the same as going all the way, because it's already starting emotionally and physically, the whole baby-making process. it is sex even if it's not penetration. i hope you don't feel like i'm judging on you- i'm not putting anything on you here i don't put on myself, if that gives you any comfort. i have had sex, so i can't compare what it would feel like not to have gone almost all the way or all the way until my wedding night-i'll never know the wedding night i missed by not waiting. but i know god does love me because he tells me and shows me-in the bible, in his people...he is there for me... and i know jesus even hung out with hookers in his day, so i think part of being like jesus, includes being able to be friends with hookers, too. i'm sad i don't know any hooker friends...wondering "what would jesus do?" i just don't know any hookers. but i would be their friends because jesus is. thanks for sharing and for letting me share, emma. have a blessed life-i mean it. t
--tla
09/28

Emma I was a once in the same place as you.I found a wife and I am currently catching up for lost time.We Christians didn't know what we were missing byt not having sex.!!!!!!
--pld
09/28

Emma Rest assured that God is still there and that he still loves you very much! But the question we all must ask is when I stand befor God at the judgement seat of Christ what answer will I give when he asks why I lived my life as I did. Sex is niether bad or good, the context with which we use it determines whether we sin against God or bring him glory. Sin is knowing what is right and not doing it. Sex outside of a marriage covenant with your husband is sin because God designed it to bond you emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually with your husband and him with you. The sexual experience and the children that occur from that joining simply deepens your love and commitment for one another. When you give your body not to mention your virginity to a man who has no desire to make a covenant (marriage) with you and then give yourself to another and another....you are taking a short ride (roller coaster) that once it is over (relationship) leaves you empty and yearning for another ride instead fulfilled and convinced that you are truly loved. God didn't cheat you of all the fun when you were young, you simply believed the lie and got off of his ride too early. In case you want to dismiss my comments as those of one who has no previous testimony as you put it, let me tell you about myself. I was raised in church, have uncles who are ministers, was bored out of my mind with church and church people before I was 11 and out of church and deep into the drug and sex sceen befor age 16. My best friend and I started with pot then went to acid and worked our way back down the drug sceen until we got back to pot. I learned more about sex by the time I was 19 than I ever needed to know, and in all that I was not happy. When my best friend went to Hawaii and my then current babe moved out of state I had cause to look over MY LIFE and I found it pretty empty. Like your self I was also involved in the christian sceen when I was younger, like your self I wondered "what I was missing" Unlike your self it appears I discovered the answer to that question was NOTHING. You can have fun with parties and sex this I do not deny, but they do not make you fullfilled. Perhaps you should get alone and have that conversation with Jesus. rls.
--rls
09/19

Emma. Almost my story, but haven't "given in" yet. 24 ys old, attractive seminarian. thinking about it. Looking for someone like you. improvphilly@yahoo.com
--AJL
08/18

Emma's not naughty; She's a cybernaut. Her essay is timeless, and very timely. She articulates well the current and ongoing transition from human repression (sexual/religious and otherwise) both for herself and many of the rest of us. All without much apparent sense of relief or resolution. Maybe that's part of the evolutionary process. From the supportive email response it would seem something significant is going on. ~ It is interesting that no one says anything about the pill. I was raised in a generation (dob 1930) where there seemed to be two major sources of sexual repression, the church and the fear of pregnancy. It is hardly surprising that, since the pill, there is some loosening up. It is clear that many churches, and their pastors, have already adjusted to the current reality of pre-marital sex. What is less clear is what adjustments can be made to the morality on the subject. Sexual freedom is a heady challenge. But questions about it are more than just reflections on individual conflict. Freedom is a challenging responsibility.
--jvh
08/15

EMMA my name is erhan i'm turk send me e mail please my adress:erhanz @eudoramail.com
--
08/06

She hit it on the head with this one. Thanks, Emma, for putting my feelings into words.
--AZ
08/01

Thank you for your perspective. I'm a born-again Christian, who is now twice divorced. It's been difficult for me to make sense of why, but it happened. I have always been looking for answers to life's tough questions, through marriage, children, friends, family, church, and of course the Bible, but I've never found them. Until now. I have recently found the love of my life, I knew him during high school but thought we could never be together, he's Jewish. We lost touch for 34yrs. and then I found him, thank you internet! He has shown me things that had been pent up inside of me for all these years, and yes we can be together! I had my first female ejaculation, with him, and have had them lot's of times since. He told me about Nerve too and it has really helped to read the articles! I don't feel guilty or wrong at all, and I'm very happy! Thanks again, to you Em and to Lo, you girls are the best!!
--KMT
07/24

you have helped me soooooooooo much because of this article .i was heading the same way you did till i read this article .i want to wait till marrage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i love god!and ill pray for you .
--trer
07/09

Emma, I really enjoyed reading your article. I see by your other feedbacks that tons of people have already said "That describes me exactly..." But seriously, this is something I have been thinking about for some time now! I am currently a sophomore in college, and even though I still haven't actually had sex (like you said -- everything else)... I have benn thinking that I want to now.. or at least when I fall in love. I am a catholic girl, and was raised being told "Never have sex until you're married!!" But why would it be so wrong to make love to someone that you're IN love with?? I guess I still haven't decided yet about what I am going to do, because I still have a feeling of guilt when I think about what I will feel like after I have sex for the first time. God bless you that you are doing well and everything, and I just hope everything works out great for me too! :)
--JM
07/08

Hey Emma Ive been there so often and want to be there saving it all for my wife but its been a long rocky journey too. Best wishes in Jesus Joshua
--Josh
07/01

God is here, and hears your heart. Test your belief and know that if your faith is in Jesus Christ and you have put your trust in Him life eternal with Hiom in paradise is yours. Beware of a faith that does not result in a changed life however, the Spirit will do away with the old and make a new creation of true believers. Press on, examine your heart, and know that God is your God and desires to know and love you....
--js
06/25

Thanks Emma, I was one of those same Christians in college as you were in high school.Boy, I was just a bit brain washed by the fundementalist movement and it has only been in the last 4 years I have gone back.....not as a charismatic or evangelical or fundementalist but as a Catholic.Now there are some issues once again with the sex deal in the Catholic church but what I found was an open discourse of sorts...also thinking was an ok thing to do....questioning my theology was revered.I go to a pretty liberal Catholic church where lots of artists go and there is a ministry to the homosexual community.....not to get them to change their lifestyle but to let them know that God loves them.....period.....Thanks for sharing your story.I have felt like no one else has gone through what I have but after reading your stuff I see I am not alone.
--GBD
06/12

You are a wonderful person. Honey, God doesn't want your compliance. He wants a relationship with you. That's what Christianity is all about. A real "I talk to God, he talks to me" kinda thing. God is your Father in heaven... but he is perfect. And just like a PERFECT earthly father would... he does not get mad at you for any sexual practice you have engaged in... he just wants you to talk to him. What's cool... is once you start to talk to him again.... weird (but very good) things start to happen in your life. And all of sudden... some of the stuff that seemed so great... isn't so great any more. Then there are new things that are even GREATER, but didn't seem great when you weren't hanging with God. I know it sounds weird.... but it's true. Just food for thought, from someone who has been where you are... and then come back..... :) Being home is a good place to be. Just wait til you are 30. Then what I say will make sense... I love you, and so does God. :)
--sl
06/08

good grief, I felt like I was reading my own biography there. Thank you :)
--ELM
05/28

Dear Emma, Nobody's perfect! Even Christians who are perceived as perfect and look like that good it all together. I encourage you not to turn your back on God. He will never turn His back on you. If you truly (at one point in time) surrendered your life to Him and accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then you are forever in His care and keep. Although you have been blinded by the enemy and led astray, I believe the Lord in His mercy, goodness and grace will lead you back home into His loving arms with His loving sons and daugthers (the Church), without condemnation. Yes, we will be praying for you and pray for me also...we all need prayer. God Bless You, you are loved!
--aew
03/22

Great article. Honest and easy to relate to being a Christian who had a three year relationship before getting married. I completely understand the bit about setting boundaries and breaking them. Though I believe that God has designed us and sex to be a long term monogamous journey - that is to be exciting, passionate and deeply fulfilling, deep in your spirit kind of satisfying, and being married for a year I'm starting to see the greater purpose and lessons in working at it. While your views on sex may have changed, I think that God is still interested in your life and longs to be a part of it. While there it is good to be free from overly 'religious' lifestyle I'm guessing that there is still something inside that feels like it isn't quite complete? Maybe not...
--LWP
03/09

One of my friends has been struggling with the Christian or not question. My thoughts are that if what you are going though, is more important than being a Christian you aren't. In my experience at some point you will return and be stronger, because of your trials and trangressions. The l good news is that you will be forgiven. That is what is important to remember. RLA
--RLA
03/09

Emma- Thanks for your honesty. By now you've probably heard that your not alone. But I'll just say it again. It not alone and your not the only christian that went through the same thing. Actually, Im still struggling with it. You've caused me to think more on this. Anyway, thank you. mshober@mnu.edu
--cs
02/22

Hi, Emma! I admit life can be very challenging. The Bible tells us of those who have a said faith rather than a real faith. It also speaks of God as pure love/ the one who sees and the one who saves us from ourselves and the evil one. The apostle Paul writes of being in chains for Christ for the love of God. He also writes of the things he wants to do, he does not. And the things he does not want to do, he ends up doing. His spirit is warring against his flesh, but he fights worldly temptaions with full armor until he finds his way out by leaning on God/ the lover and maker of his soul. The lord gives us the parable of the seed. We also hear from Him that narrow is the gate to life, and only a few will find it, while others will not and while others will have made it as though just passing through the flames. Emma. Scripture says we are now living at the end of the age as this cold and dark world is about to be redeemed from itself whereby good will be separated from evil. I ask you and those who have eyes to see and ears to hear that the Lord does indeed have a plan and purpose for us in this challenging life. All he is asking of us is to turn and have a trusting heart toward Him. God Bless you always...
--K.A
01/31

Hi, Emma! I admit life can be very challenging. The Bible tells us of those who have a said faith rather than a real faith. It also speaks of God as pure love/ the one who sees and the one who saves us from orselves and the evil one. The apostle Paul writes of being in chains for Christ for the love of God. He also writes of the things he wants to do, he does not. And the things he does not want to do, he ends up doing. His spirit is warring against his flesh, but he fights worldly temptaions with full armor until he finds his way out by leaning on God/ the lover and maker of his soul. The lord gives us the parable of the seed. We also hear from Him that narrow is the gate to life, and only a few will find it, while others will not and while others will have made it as though just passing through the flames. Emma. Scripture says we are now living at the end of the age as this cold and dark world is about to be redeemed from itself whereby good will be separated from evil. I ask you and those who have eyes to see and ears to hear that the Lord does indeed have a plan and purpose for us in this challenging life. All he is asking of us is to have a trusting heart toward Him. God Bless you always...
--K.A
01/31

Hey Emma, I'm sitting here with Bobby, the man who changed your faith. He thought your first time could of used MORE, not less, of "Oh my God". Anyhow, what if God was one of us. Mark
--MKW
01/28

A wonderful article, Emma. I'm blessed that you shared it. As with many others who've responded, I've walked the same path, only to come to the conclusion that puritan, legalistic Christianity does not mix with my rampant sex drive, and therefore something in the middle must exist!
--MH
01/09

"I don't know. Yes. No." Amen! :)
--EJND
11/23

I know other people have said this but your article was almost an exact description of my life. I'm in my last year of high school and I have all the same feelings you had. I was asked once the other day by a friend of mine who I've known my whole life, " are you still a Christian". I was shocked. she knew just as much as i knew. I replied " yes, no". That was all i could say:)
--dl
11/16

if you are ever on your knees look me up! HIM
--JC
06/26

oops - did realize this was a thread - lets try again: One If there's only one confessional One lord, One faith, One baptism Then why sometimes do I feel like my insides have been scoured by a hot wire? And what is the cure for this stony heart? Is it awake or asleep? Is it within or without? The funny thing is that I gotta get up every day anyway regardless of my philosophy Would he would rend the heavens and come down in flaming fire put an end to my difficulties, my questions, my ambiguities Once upon a time I fancied I would make a good god. If the power rested in me, I would know who to hurt and who to heal But I know better now I'm just a grown-up child, still stumbling in the dark Only a tiny bit nearer to having all the answers Still wrestling with my will No closer to the spiritual man http://www.williamcruz
--wc
05/08

emma - he's a big, big god and we - christians, have a very small view of him - it's possible to be a cynical bastard and still believe in god - it's taken me damn near 40 yrs to become somewhat comfortable with the religion - check out my site - http://www.williamcruz.com - and my poem "one" - under Archives 1998 -
--wc
05/08

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou. My whole life i was a devout Christian, so for years (since the age of 13) I wondered "why don't I feel guilty about my sexual acts?". It just didn't make sense that a good girl like me, brought up in churches and Christian schools, would feel so comfortable about sexuality. Over the years I searched and searched for concrete evidence that sex was a "bad" thing, telling myself that I would stop if I found a piece of convincing new evidence -- and i would have. But never did I find one. And to this day I have no regrets for the things I've done, no shame or shyness. I started oral sex at 13, sex at 15, and I am bisexual, and I'm a Christian. I love God and I know he loves me, hornyness and all. She gave me my hormones and I feel that I should enjoy them; I don't condone promiscuous sex, I don't feel it's emotionally or physically healthy, but I also don't feel that a virgin is more "holy". What one feels for another (or for oneself) is so very important and should not be supressed or seen as shameful. Thankyou, Emma for honestly sharing a piece of your life, may we all start living as our hearts tell us to.
--lkrp
01/29

Cogent thoughts on a complex subject. Although I was never a sexual "holdout" (I'm a male, after all!) and only kissed becoming a pentacostal (the speaking in tongues thing just didn't happen for me)I can relate to many of the issues raised by Emma's musings...and I came of age in the sixties!
--DB
09/05

Emma, It too was a self proclaimed "dork" in high school who never thought of sex and only of kissing. A destructive alocholic/emotional abusive family background was my main reason for being socially a misfit. I wasn't kissed till I was 25. Clearly I was a big fan of Drew Barrymore's "Never Been Kissed" film! I related to your article. Once you let loose it is hard to hang on to your fellow "dork" friends. They don't understand the changes. Its all for the best though. Its nice to know there are other late bloomers out there!
--mm
09/03

True! I would love to chat with you as a former Alterboy - Anti Christian - Islamic influenced - Now simply a Truth seeker. We were created to have a personal relationship and understanding of God. However most of us have learned to simply be religious. Take out the religion and even an atheist would find God!
--JC
08/17

Emma, I went to WHS with youself and Ross Martin who has been in contact with me recently. It is great to see the both of you doing so well and I found the article very revealing and interesting. I am glad you are doing so well.
--
07/30

Oh my... it's scary, but I felt like you were talking about me... Your piece was very well put.
--SBV
07/28

Emma-- What a profoundly scarry editorial. Profound because it zeros to the heart of the inherent internal conflict that wages inside a "moral being." Scarry because your story seems to often mimic my biography. Part of the exploration that comes with being "on your own" or in college is the quest for all sorts of knowledge. Interesting that knowledge, the Knowledge of Good and Evil, was considered the original sin. (Committed by a woman interestingly enough). As even Adam and Eve did, I think we must fall short to understand the grace of God. Your questions are perplexing... Is Christianity a pick-and-mix religion? You say no, but look at the countless denominations who have done so (and in some cases, rightly so) in their founding dogma. Protestants reject the institutionalization of religion, the infalability of the Pope, etc etc. Lutherans see salvation by faith only; others see some sort of pennance required. The pick-and-mix is almost as varied as the chocolate islae as your favorite candy store. Does the Bible offer a better way of living? I was taught in confirmation class (when I was deep in faith) that the Bible and God's rules were made not so much to please God but to keep a person safe. God commanded the Jews in the desert not to eat pork not because it would somehow anger him (or her), but because in the 5th century B.C. pigs were freeroaming animals that ate diseased food and feces... God was keeping his people safe. Why no sex before marriage? Because, if two people were virgins when they were wed, they would be unable to pass stds (but, of course, people got married as soon as the girls got periods and the men got pubic hair). Angry no, safety yes. Thus, living by God's commandments in an overall perspective is the best to live a happy, healthy life. The real question of religion comes to sacrifice.... are we, as an individualistic, capitalistic society expected to give something of ourselves to God... a Sunday morning, our time to help those in need, a few moments to sit down and realize how fortunate we are to be who we are. It's sunday. I slept in this morning. Thanks for the great website. And the great editorial
--kjk
07/23

HELLO EMMA , I REALLY DID ENJOY AND "RELATE" TO YOUR ARTICLE [ARE YOU THERE GOD ? IT'S ME , EMMA] THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT I AM A 68 YEAR OLD , SGWM , THAT HAD THOSE SAME FEELINGS , IN MY YOUTH !!! THANKFULLY I RECOVERED FROM THE "GUILT" THAT MY EARLY SO CALLED RELIGIOUS TEACHING BRAIN WASHED MY INOCENCE CHILD HOOD TO THE MAX WITH .. XOXO EARL IN TEXAS , USA ..
--EBB
07/23

you have already heard this numerous times from what i read in the feedback, but thank you for your honesty.
--TAK
07/22

The most profund thing about Emma's experiences are that they are not uncommon. As adolescents and teenagers, we all develop habits, religious or otherwise, as a part of forming our own identity. This level of religious practice can have some positive impacts on a person developing their world view because it encourages some positive behavior, however, it often includes too many oversimplified warnings about the ways of the world. This sort of teen religious fervor rarely finds a place in a healthy adult's self-identity. If we are to grow as spritual beings, it is critically important that we seperate this mostly socialistic, ritualistic form of religion from a deeper faith. It truly is that "meaning of life" question that we all deal with. Thank you Emma for your honest revelation of her struggle with issues of religion. All thinking people that don't choose to ignore it, have questioned their own belief and sprituality. Everyone with a deep-abiding faith has had, and still does from time-to-time, have these struggles. It's worth it. It's what makes you complete person. And I suspect if your look at the people you admire most, you will see that they have it. Too many people think you need to deny God for sex or deny sex for God. Good sex and a strong religious faith, need not be mutually exclusive. I know from experience. If someone in a Young Life group lays that sort of a guilt-trip on you then they have oversimplified a very complex issue and they have become a stumbling block for your development as a spritual being. So much for their efforts to be an evangelist. I am a Christian and I read Nerve. I am an imperfect being on a journey towards an ideal. At the risk of sounding cliche, I am trying to "do unto others as I would have them do unto me." Do I endorse everything I read in Nerve? Who does? Do I enjoy the clever erotic expression? Yes. Do I sometimes get excited and fantisize about what I read? Yes. Do I feel guilty about it? No. Do I think it makes me less of a Christian that someone who denies their own sexuality ? No. Keep up the struggle, Emma. You are not alone.
--DK
07/22

HELP HELP HELP I saw your website off of TV. I notice there was a page on sexual postions, I would like to find it. Can you help me
--bs
07/21

What your story reveals, Emma, is that Christianity is a PERSONAL thing. Everyone's relationship with God and Jesus differs, and that's what makes it so wonderful AND mysterious. I am a Christian (believe that Jesus is the Son of God, my Savior and Lord), but I abhor "religion". My Christianity is very personal and I don't NEED to attend organized religion services to remain a Christian. However, I do recognize and appreciate the need for companionship with other Christians, including a pastor/preacher/whatever you call the leader, so that I can learn from them and continue to develop my relationship with God. The Bible is a guide, written, as you said, in a very different time, but intended (I think) to be "translated" as appropriate to help us in our individual journeys of faith. It is imperative that a person understand the context in which it was written, as it can be very confusing otherwise. The underlying "theme", if you will, has always been about God's love for us, and the New Testament illustrates for us the unconditional love that we are to accept from Him, through Jesus, and impart to others. That said, I enjoyed and related with your article, Emma. Thanks for sharing it with us.
--ljm
07/20

Dear Emma its Gayle and Eamonn here, very interested to read about your sex life. Any more juicy details you would like to share with us? We will be paying you many little visits in E-mail land so beware. Hello Emma that was Eamonn, its now gayle how are you? We just decided to try your magazine and found this. It's very good very honest and makes you think etc.. Hope your having a good time with all your family and Alex at the moment say hi to them all from me and i look forward to reading more of your messages in the future. Take care and hope to see you sometime soon, maybe a cornish holiday next time your in England. Bye for now love Gayle xxx
--G&E
07/17

Emma, thanks for your honesty. So you kissed off the Imaginary Jesus. I think that's spiritually healthy. I grew up in the same subculture and blew it off in my twenties. Twenty years of nihilism later, the strangest thing happened. Without any apparent effort on my part, God showed up in my life bigtime! I haven't been able to figure this out and don't think I ever will. My life has taken an extremely interesting and wild turn. I wouldn't trade it for anything. My feeling is you are on the verge of a very intense experience of God. This doesn't happen to everybody so consider yourself very lucky. Don't work too hard at it. You never come to God. God comes to you. Peace to you. Peter
--PRE
07/17

I was looking for something else when I ran across this article but I enjoyed it enough to read it through which says a lot for it since I don't often allow myself thes luxuries. LR
--LR
07/16

There is no explanation that makes any sense... period. No one knows anything. Else look at that fact and say, "hmmm" or choose the lie that seems to make your life the most smooth, content, happy, fulfilled, etc... and run with it. Simple.
--pt
07/15

IT SUCKS T.B
--T.B
07/14

I loved your article. You have a very perceptive view of reality, combined with a great sense of humour! As Molly in Ulysses by James Joyce said: " Lord,Make me good, but not straight away"! I believe that temptation assaults us everyday, And I usually Succumb, But As A lapsed Christian I no longer feel any guilt!.
--
07/13

Dearest Emma, For sure you can still be a christian. As long as you know what is a "christian". The Lord Jesus didn 't die on the cross because of certain reasons,or limited causes only. He died for us because He LOVES us. A very unconditional love. All of us have different past before we met the Lord. Remember we are all born sinners? I am sure you knew that. It's just our ignorance and a way to have an alibi to commit sin, that makes us think that we are not worthy of God' gift ( Salvation through the Lord Jesus). Remember, accepting that we sinned and believing that He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins is the rightful way in looking to this matter ; Than remaining in our own worldly wisdom. Fornication is a sin and no matter how we put it it's sin. The world may put "cream and flavouring" on it but in the sight of God it is still sin. Sex is a gift to those who has given themselves in the blessing of marriage only.
--r.m
07/13

It was really nice to read something that quite accurately reflects my own opinions without the authour apologizing for her choices either way. It is a debate I have had often with myself: "can I just take the be nice, try to help others, don't hurt yourself (too much)aspect and not telling people and going to church part?" I haven't found an answer yet either and it's a relief to know I'm not alone.
--ra
07/10

Oh, Lordisa (as Inga Muscio likes to say in her wonderful book, _Cunt_)! As most others have already said, your article, Em, sounds very much like my own life's course so far (well, except for the part about living in NY and working for a FABULOUS website/magazine). But I would still like to add my own two cents. Growing up in a very fundamentalist household where sex wasn't even breathed about, I saw a lot of hypocrisy in my own peer group at church. Sunday morning was one thing, good proper Christian youth, but on the weekends and other gatherings, everything went. I was angry that we were being told one thing but allowed to do another. Then, like a miracle, I started reading Robert Heinlein, who opened my eyes to the joy of sex (and a lot more of the hypocrisy of organized Christian religion). And from that moment on, my life was to be lived on my terms, not something handed down from some supposedly "benevolent" Father-figure. And sex is just one of the numerous areas with which I have problems in Christianity. But those are for another discussion. Keep up the great work.
--DLTW
07/10

Wow. Are you actually me? Singing my life with your words, girlfriend. And from reading the feedback, sounds like there's a lot of thoughtful, spiritual sex-lovers out there--maybe we should form a church, huh? I appreciate your honesty, and I'm glad you haven't thrown out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak. I, too, am still trying to reconcile the images (and rules) of Christianity that I grew up with the life that seems to suit me as an adult. The key, as I see it, is to remember that the core of Christianity is a relationship, right? Of course it is work to maintain that relationship, to practice, but I believe it is worth it for sure. Relationship and understanding, not rules and restrictions. Would the Creator have made us such a diverse lot (and so curious, creative, joyful, passionate) if He/She didn't want us to experience life in all its variety? And while I agree that "cafeteria Christianity" is about as appetizing as dorm food, I really don't believe that there is a simple "ONE WAY." Do you honestly believe that the vast majority of the planet's peoples are going to burn in hell because they had the "misfortune" to grow up in a different cultural milieu than you and I? I also have to respond to Pastor K's words: He/she says there are two choices--flesh or spirit. That's bullshit. The Creator gave us a powerful spirit, a passionate body, and an endlessly resourceful mind, I might add. I choose it all! God is way too big to be segmented like that, and frankly, created in HIs/Her image, so are we. Sex, in and of itself, is not wrong (before or after marriage) if it is respectful, loving, joyful, creative. And the bounds of marriage can't make bad sex good. I think treating you r body like the temple it is means expressing your WHOLE self lovingly and joyfully and praising and thanking the Creator for the opportunity to do so. Strive to be your authentic self. Godspeed you on your journey, my friend.
--JJ
07/10

well said emma - very well said. never expected to find a voice like mine out on this site.
--AF
07/09

Hi, I am Jemima Raman. I am all of 24 and an Indian. That means a complicated approach to sex. I came to know about this site through my NRI friend who has come here for a visit. I find this really interesting. Of late, I have started questioning about my beliefs _ am I believing in them because I have to or because I want to. For instance I am a virgin, never had a boyfriend. Till sometime back I was quite proud about the fact. Now I have this uneasy feeling that it is more on default. The feeling is growing everyday I spend time with my NRI friend. It is quite funny how we perceive things and how when it goes wrong we are flustered. I could identify with Emma's article on that regard. Guess, I still have a lot of growing up to do. But I am glad I met my friend and glad that I have started questioning instead of blindly following. I think your site is really cute. Regards, jemima_raman@usa.net
--JR
07/08

Emma, WOW! Quite an amazing story! While I was reading it I thought back on one of my bf's... He is extremely religious and although we were both raised in religious homes - he's roman catholic and I'm eastern orthodox = lots of disagreements, we certainly had a grand time when talking about sex let alone having it. I was raised in a open household... we talked about sex and we talked about everything really. He was raised in a household that didnt talk about sex.. where he never received any *talk* from his father about sex. I am glad that you shared your story. It is quite touching. I am happy that you found your way and that you seem happy about how things turned out. I always say that if you are happy doing waht you are doing... and if it is hurting no one else including yourself, that it is most likely the thing that is right for you. If you love someone.. then makign love to them cannot be wrong. If you believe in God and you have a close relationship with him, then you will know waht you are adn are not capable of... and most of all... the fire and brimstone is probably a creation that fell out of a man's mind two thousand years ago.. and has followed us since. When you strip all the traditions and cultural attachments from all religious... what remains is love - joy and friendship... Great article Em!! - Lubers
--
07/07

I just joined nerve a few weeks ago, and have mostly just enjoyed it, but when I set out to read my first letter,this one, I was pleasantly surprised. I guess I started to read because I thought it might be by my friend Emma, who is actually on Young Life staff, and I was pretty tickled to see what she would have to say to a community of thoughtful hedonists that she wouldn't tell my girlfriend or me. Well, it wasn't, but it was a pretty accurate picture of where I am right now, and it was refreshing to hear other commentary then by my sexually repressed, psudo-christian friends, with whom talking about sex is completely out of bounds. As a sex-lover, and as a Christian, I think we (being those included in one or both groups) need to have more discussion on how good both are, and how the guilt and shame associated with sex (especially before marriage) in the Christian world are messing up a lot of lives, and actually causing more social ills, due to increased aggressiveness and frustration.
--CA
07/07

After the cute mechanic boy I'm seeing left my apartment last night and I closed the door behind him, still vibing from our carnal romps, I settled back into bed. And prayed. The way I do almost every night and morning. Then I lit a cigarette, listened to a CD, put the cork back in the wine and thought, "Hm. Mom and Dad would not be pleased." Not to mention Jesus. This article could have been written by myself: I'm the eldest daughter of a fairly conservative Christian minister, was a Sunday school teacher and a devoted virgin until I was 28 (I'm 30 now). Then the curiosity and strain of celibacy became too much. (Oh, and he was a yummy 24 year old who campaigned to get me with all the finesse and determination of a general.) I've found, in my encounters, that the lines between devotion and pleasure and duty constantly blur. But those indistinct places are what make the struggle for a full balanced life wothwhile. Good job, Nerve. Well done.
--DCC
07/07

Thanks for a terrific and thoughtful article. I've started going to church again and have pretty much kept it a "dirty secret" until recently. I was happily surprised by the positive feedback from my friends, both religious and not. Your thoughts and experiences were very comforting. Thanks!
--ldm
07/07

I loved your article and your honesty. I grew up in the same kind of environment as Emma described. I can relate to what she was saying. I consider myself a christian although most of my friends would disagree. I would just encourage you to lay down all the things that you were taught from the pulpit and find God for yourself. Get together with some friends, Sunday morning, for breakfast and try to figure out just what the Bible really does say about certain issues. My wife and I waited to have sex untill we were married and I am so glad she did. We don't have to struggle through any past memories or experiences and we have a great amount of trust for one another. Setting religion aside, I still say it's better to wait and share sex with one person.
--Ben
07/05

Dear Emma, -Kneeling down- I have to make a confession. I�ve always wondered why people like us- yes, you too- are always trying to justify our keen interest in the sex sense. I mean, I have pretty weird music tastes (Lou Reed, Dimanda Galas, Buenavista Social Club and The Cranberries...) but I never feel compelled to explain, much less justify, why or how I like the things I do. My first coffee in the day, has to be pretty sweet...so lots of sugar go in. Do I have to justify to myself or to others that? Why then, do we feel like weird, let�s say it: PERVERTS, because we also enjoy other vertical, horizontal and transversal activities. My own conversion went almost from Catholic altar boy to quasi-socialist secular free thinker. If you can live with that, and forgive/grant me your blessing, I can too. Thanks for being honest, open and for being yourself in the cyberspace of Nerve. -Standing ip and kissing briefly your hand-
--RN
07/04

Thank you for a very thoughtful and interesting article. I am relieved to know that I am not the only one battling to come to terms with Christianity and sex and being a single and horny twenty-something.
--JS
07/04

Dear Emma: I never ceased to be amazed at the powerful hold "evangelical christianity" has on so many Americans. I find it depressing because the evangelical christian message is literal minded, an attempt to squeeze the entire christian message out of the bible alone. Not only is this group wont to do this but in the process reduces the poetry and mysticism of this grand work to the level of moral highway signs. Scary stuff. I am pleased that you have blossomed so wonderfully both spiritually and physically. ricegill@nerve.com
--rg
07/03

I like the form and color of Emma's write in feeling. She belongs to her feelings and yet the struggle goes beyond that. She's trying to find a blend between herself as a sexual being and the rest of life; so that the rest of us, who make our own notion of this also tick eternal. I commend her on the process of trying to find out such a light from within, which also truly targets the form and color to such an idea, in a meaningful, positive Christian light and way! Regards, Todd Webster Miller ps. Hi, Emma!
--twm
07/03

Emma Since you are in New York - try the Paulist Center. Yes, Catholic Choir Directors occasionally stop by nerve.com (I discovered it while searching for photography links). My upbringing was Southern Baptist so I certainly can relate to your story. Saving yourself physically is easily equated with saving yourself morally. Is conscience the voice of God, or the murmur of other's expectations? Good luck.
--CH
07/03

Great work, Emma and a nice piece of writing, too. I second Zuma's comments. It is nice to know I am not the only hypocrite trying to reconcile my spiritual and sexual self. I had to smile at the comment about pick and chose, cafeteria Christianity. Any objective reading of Church history, before and after the reformation, would lead one to conclude that Christ's body has certainly been picked and packaged, otherwise, there wouldn't be so many opinions declaring themselves to be truth. Love is as individual and universal as each of us. Go ahead, try religion in a foreign language, it tends to peel away the intellectual layer.
--Bboy
07/03

Emma, I have been visiting Nerve.com for a month or two now, and while I've definately enjoyed the content so far, your artical was the first to evoke a need in me to responed. I don't normally respond to magizes on-line or not. I swear that you could have been writting about my life. Lots of similarities...Grew up in England (catholic school, moved back to the states for high school), youth group, Bible study, church, youth decan, christian private school, college youth group etc... Also on a more personal level. How you described getting out and making friends with "non-believers" for the first time at college, making friends easily, having FUN! The realization that I never got to "turn to Christ". All of these I experienced. Then when I finally let go and had sex (21 years old also) I too experienced some kind of "so what?" experience. If the coitus was such a big deal...shouldn't have some kind of effect? I don't know, effect my vision or something? The very least I was expecting to feel different the next day. I guess that I remember how great it felt when I first mastrubated and I think I was expecting being with someone else to double that? Anyway, Sex turned out to be not as much of what I expected in some ways and a lot more than I expected in others. Not as earth shattering and didn't change me experiencially, but more relaxed, open, freeing and expresive than I knew it could be too. Anyway, I loved the list of questions you asked yourself at the end of the artical, and I still turn the same things over in my head at 30. I don't lose too much sleep about it anymore, but they still are there and come up with some of my Christian friends that I'm still in touch with and they never like my answers. One line you wrote in particular really hit me, when you asked yourself if you ever wish the you wanted to be a Christian again like you were in High School. Sometimes. That put into words my feelings on the matter so suscintly. I wish that I wanted to go back, where there were the simple rules and black and white. My world has become too colorful now to give that up. So I guess sex has effected my vision, not just sex, but being open to experiences that come my way and searching out experiences that interest me. Anyway as I sit here on my lunch break, the only smuck to come in to work on July 3rd, I was not expecting to be so personally touched. Thank you for writing it and sharing your insights.
--PM
07/03

Emma, Great article! As someone who lost his faith around the same time you did (I was supposed to be a Catholic Priest), I had a very similar sexual and religious journey. Given the general hostility towards religion in intellectual and hedonistic circles (for such open minds, they really cannot fathom the religious mindset), it is refreshing to find a kindred spirit. And, while I am no longer a practicing Christian, (the Buddhist tradition I have fallen into is very similar), if you ever need support stopping in that church on a Sunday, drop me line. Yours, Zuma (zuma@nerve.com)
--JW
07/03

Thank you, Emma. You explore territory that is familiar to many of us. I struggled with the similar issues through high school and my early twenties. My struggle extended to my writing. Shouldn't I be writing only about God and Christian issues? But, I came to enjoy drama and journalism so much, that I decided I had God-given gifts . . . so He must love me, regardless. When I was 17 I met the 10-years-my-senior bad boy who led me further down a road I had already begun to travel. And what a road it has been. Potholes, dead ends, quicksand? Yes. Absolutely. But also a lot of beautiful scenery, inspired vistas, and exciting uncharted territory for which my early 30's has brought me an even greater appreciation. Carpe diem and God bless. Thanks.
--ESR
07/03

K and Emma: That's why I left Christianity for Judaism (well, with a big atheism in between) -- Judaism does not have Spirit OR Flesh. It (at least the liberal temple I attend) says they're pretty much the same thing. Judaism emphasizes actions, not thoughts; questions, not answers. Or so has been my experience. And those mystic sect Jews -- they've had dirty sex experiences (that were glorious to them, not dirty) that ... well, my greatest fear is that I'll die before I ever have them. In conclusion, I believe God loves sex.
--lcc
07/03

Emma I enjoyed your article on sex and religion. As a Jewish guy I can tell you that growing up in United Synagogue Youth (USY) got me a trip to Israel at the age of 14 where I found epiphany between the thighs of an Israeli farm girl one night camping out in the Negev. And yes...not only was I a dork but growing up in an alnost all nonJewish farm community in 1960s NJ even more of a pariah. Our only conenction to the community was that my family was in the gas station farm equipment business since 1920 and I had acchieved some notoriety amongst the nonJewish kids because I was the first 12 year old to be allowed to have use of a real rifle ...I was able to find some value in the religious youth group because some Hebrew had settled between my ears before my adventure .The rest of USY was about Bible study, persecution thru the ages stories and holidays.....Imagine the effect the Song of Solomon had on a crazed with lust 14 year old when read to our USY Sunday morning group by an 18 year old college girl in a tight sweater.........Oy!!
--ww
07/03

Emma, to answer your question stated in your title "Are You There God? It's Me, Emma", the resounding response from all of creation is "YES!". God loves you as He (She; God is not either) always has and always will. God is patient with us for we are but children not matter how mature we think ourselves to be. We play games in the flesh (sex is just one) while we miss the real pupose in life. Our 'biggest' sin is not these fleshly games but rather that we don't put God first in our lives--none of us do (save people like the blessed Mother Theresa). When we do put God first, then most self-satisfying activities will cease. But we (usually) only get to that point gradually. You started early in life walking the narrow way but departed from it because you had not made that decision for yourself. It had been made for you and that doesn't work when we start growing up and thinking for ourselves (fleshly mind can take over and will if we surrender to it!). God gave us a free will to choose how we would spend our lives. Basically there are only two choices: Spirit or flesh. Since you grew up Christian, I'm sure you know the story of the Prodigal Son (daughter). It is OUR (humanity's) story. God forgives when we choose to come home and confess our abandonment of his ways. Enough for now. The Anglican priest who wrote didn't tell the rest of the story about the woman caught in adultery. Jesus said to her, "Go and sin no more." God forgives, yes. But He does expect us to change when we have realized our "sin". (I'm glad you are struggling with your faith. As you probably heard while you were growing up, "That means the devil hasn't got you yet. God and Satan are still struggling over your soul.) There is hope for you (and me and all of us) yet! (In case you are wondering, I'm a Methodist pastor.)
--K
07/03

Emma, the question you raised about Christianity being a pick and mix religion echoes the sentiments of one of my mother's best friends, who proudly describes herself as a "Cafeteria Catholic" - she takes from and gives to her religion what she can and what she needs - nothing more or less. The first time I heard her say that was the first time that my notion of all "religious" people as fascistic zealots (stemming from my stepfather having me baptised against my will at 16) recieved a well-deserved blow. I no longer (and probably never will) consider myself an adherant of any religion, but I also don't refuse to associate with someone who calls themselves Christian anymore (yes, it's embarrassing to admit that). And yes, I can even re-read the teachings of Jesus and say, "Why did I ever try to hate THAT?" Of course, now I'm looking at these writings as philosophy, not religion - I don't HAVE to accept what I don't truly believe, and what good I can take from them will stay with me. Okay, I'm rambling now (it's late, OK?) but thanks for sharing your story with us - Christian Hedonists, ARISE!!!
--JWL
07/03

I wanted to let you know how very much I enjoyed your article. We humans have this niggling 'free will' thing that keeps getting in the way of reaching God fully enough to know EXACTLY what he wants of us. Love God, love your fellow humans - know that Christ died for your sins, and sin no more. Now: who's defining sin? Paul? Moses? The Old Testament Ten? The New Testament Two? HELP! I, for one, believe that these little fleshly pleasures we enjoy can get WAY out of hand...but modern folks like us don't even have that kind of leisure time!! God bless you, Emma glenn
--ggg
07/03

Emma, I read your article and I just had to respond. As a christian (I am an Anglican priest) and an avid reader of Nerve, I was very interested in your article. It was quite refreshing to read of your honest wrestling with issues of faith and sexuality, especially on a site like Nerve. But I think you should cut yourself some slack. Your background is in conservative, "evangelical" christianity. That is not the whole picture. Let yourself explore a little bit. Find yourself a more liberal church community (try out the Episcopalians for starters - although we come in lots of different flavours, some more "liberal" than others). You can find a church where you can keep your integrity and your faith. You might also try reading the gospels again. The Jesus of the gospels that I know is not the right-wing fundamentalist that some would have him be. He was a breaker of boundaries, a flouter of religious laws for the sake of liberating the oppressed, he was a revolutionary who sacrificed himself for the cause and was assassinated for his courage. Above all, he was not a dork. You might also note that Jesus' view was that love fulfills the law. The commandment "thou shalt not commit adultery" is found in the Old Testament (Exodus and Deuteronomy). What was Jesus response to it? When he defended the woman found in adultery (Gospel of John, chapter 8) he said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." God can handle it. God is not a petty moralist. God bless you.
--S
07/03

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