|
|
 |
Reader Feedback on "Miss Information"
I'm happy to report that the coke sniffer and myself have both moved on. She didn't like that I wasn't into her partying like a mindless chimp and she wasn't ready to get into anything committed. I appreciate the advice from Miss Info being straight forward and honest.
BTW, what is wrong with a society that promotes people doing positive things in life? You guys commenting here make it seem as if focusing on career, family, social, political and relationship forwarding is a BAD thing. Jeez. No wonder 'we' elected a partying coke head schmuck like GWB to our nations highest leadership position.
Signed,
NQSE Guy.
--NQSE
12/16 |
buy her this t-shirt...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v167/bandbgrrl/472294169_l.gif
--tbt
12/13 |
Regarding the boy and his coke-using girlfriend:
Here's a guy who knows he doesn't want to be serious with anyone who's using coke. That means the question of "are drugs universally right or wrong?" isn't part of the equation. They are wrong for this guy, it doesn't matter if he's 80 or 20. Can someone do a line of coke and not be addicted? Of course. I don't think what I said goes against that.
Fun Miss Info fact: In elementary school my friends and I snorted Pixie Stix.
xoxo
erin
--EB
12/12 |
I would have used one very small word: CIAO! Drugs users LIE about their frequency and quantity.
--ed
12/11 |
I used to be pretty muchof an alcoholic and an occasional druguser. So the girl I loved has left me without even saying why but I realised later.
Now i date a beautiful and sweet girl I fall for. She told me to stop or atleast do it as rare as possible. Well i didn't get drunk in two months and i haven't done any drug in a half a year.
Love is meant to mean sacrafice. Atleast its never been without it. You should party more but it does not eman u got to do cocaine - drugs r taken when u can't have fun without them to lose sense to reflect on a real world. You want to work and get serious - so don't lose sense - tell her.
If she walks away let her. Maybe send her an email or letters for the time being.
If she commits to stay and do none - then its up to u two to handle it later on.
If she tricks u and stays with u still doing same - maybe you should think on what you really want. And do it.
Serious relationship is knowing what your partner wants - do you know what she wants?
hopefully i did get anything right, though love is a plastic bomb in a back of your pocket - the only thing you know for sure she's got the red button somewhere hidden.
--tvv
12/10 |
whoa. totally bitchin' new picture!
--reh
12/10 |
Doing coke once or twice a month really isn't a big deal. It's a boring, shallow, overpriced drug, with no potential whatsoever for expanding your mind or making you a more interesting person, but if she enjoys it, who cares? The answer is, you obviously do, so you have your answer already. Since she clearly hasn't got any kind of addiction, you need to be honest and recognise that you are completely and dogmatically against drugs. Take the 'NQ' out of the 'NQSE'. It would be more honest.
Disappointed to see Miss Information toeing the 'drugs are baaad, mmmkay?' party line and the patronising tone of 'she's still stuck in party-girl mode'. Personally I think it's pretty frightening that you're expected to have given up partying and to be a good little obedient citizen by the age of 22. Scary stuff. Glad I'm not American.
--EG
12/09 |
Oye, Dickhead:
The letter was ABOUT drugs, so I wanted to set forth some provocative words about drugs, just to make the point that it is not so cut and dried as writer and advisor seem to feel it is. I don't know what portion of life you're in, but this business about "liberal" and "cool" sounds a little childish, no? That's straight-up college crap. You haven't the faintest fucking idea what my politics are and what I deem to be cool. This is your issue, friend, not mine. And it is my understanding that "liberals" do the whole gym and healthfood and hiking bit. President Clinton, for example, was no liberal -- he tossed 25mm children off of welfare in the middle of an economic boom -- and he loved his yeyo (Google Dan Lasater). W, cold son-of-a-bitch and loved yeyo.
Nothing particularly cool about having low seratonin and dopamine levels and appreciating the relief one gets from certain drugs. So, next time you're on the fucking stairmaster or doing your dipshit ab crunches, think of me and pity me again. You're obviously a paragon of psychological and physical health and you seem to have a very deep understanding of all things. Your coolness and liberalism come across very strongly without any references to drugs. Good for you, boy.
As for sexual mastery, who has that? Only Sting last I heard. And you have to admit that HQSE's pretty much a toy. C'mooon, hon, as they say in Balto. I was making the point that the site is tamer than it's billing in its sexual content and the abstemious tone of the letter and response seemed to reinforce that.
I read the letter because I'm interested in the subject. And I was sorry to find that it reaffirmed my prejudices about Nerve. I had hoped the advisor would, herself, be more "cool" and "liberal". Alas, no.
My politics are varied by the way. I am far left on social issues and foreign affairs, and far right on a couple of arcane tax and financial issues. Really fucking cool, right?
Jesus Christ On Rye Toast, the pomposity of some of you dickheads. You know it all. That must feel great.
--AJK
12/09 |
For god's sake, twenty-two means you haven't even started yet. Don't get freaked by the occasional habits of others.
--IAP
12/09 |
Um, wow.
I think this pro-crack letter is even sadder than the ones that read like Penthouse Forum submissions. It's definitely more pathetic to brag about how cool and "liberal" you are because you smoke rock than it is to brag about your sexual mastery in the responses to a sex advice column.
I have an easy answer for the crackhead, though: don't like it? Don't read it.
--MW
12/09 |
The editorial choice of NQSE's letter for a "Miss Information" opinion is, I believe, representative of a certain hipster-prudery (that's fancy talk for "yuppie shit") that pervades this site. Like pornography, the prudery, is hard to describe but "I know it when I see it." It's about sex talk that doesn't really involve sex. It's about a kind of denatured sexuality that does involve one's physical appearance. Nerve.com has always struck me as "Sex And The City" in website form. There is the suggestion of vice and carnality, but trying to find it is like trying to catch smoke. And all of life's problems can be solved with a pair of hiking boots, some organic vegetables and a gym membership.
So, NQSE's letter is a very snug fit. This dude must be joking. He's 22 years old, he's got a rad girlfriend and he's worried that her partying ways are going to mess up his special little focus on "career and relationships"? No, please tell me it's a joke. He better not whine to his buddies like this or he'll get popped just for good orders' sake. When I was 22, raunchy sex and yeyo AND relationships and careers all went together like the ingredients of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups or Fluffer-Nutter sandwiches. Shit, they still do.
"Miss Information's" initial response to this is straight out of the Partnership For A Drug Free America playbook. Cocaine and alcohol will KILL YOU. So will cigarettes and fatty foods and stress and the passage of time. So, again -- Stop the world: a young woman like to get twisted with booze and yeyo. And it's her limp boyfriend that's complaining about it and the nerve.com advisor is going all Officer Joe Bolton on us.
Back on planet Earth, people like to get high all kinds of ways and they like to fuck all kinds of ways and spend their evenings doing what they enjoy. I, for one, like yeyo and I even like smoking rock, but I cannot take one hit of pot without getting completely messed up. I cannot have so much as a Coors Light without getting headaches and blood-sugar bounces. My drinks are Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa and Club Soda and green tea. I don't touch cigarettes or weed or Crystal, but coke and rock make me feel great, so do vikeys and oxy. Why? Who knows? Everybody's brain chemistry and allergies are different.
And, no this letter isn't coming from Dannemora, it's coming from Fifth Avenue in NYC, and I -- at 42 -- can happily report that neither the career, the relationships nor the focus have been impeded by drugs.
I'm not carrying a brief for the cocaine industry. I don't give a shit about what anyone does. It's all fine. But I don't particularly enjoy some wimp's whining and some sex advisor's prudery. And by the way, what's wrong with being "a party girl." I'm betting that this wayward "party girl" of NQSE's is going to go further in her career that all y'all. I'll take the vocabulary plus the ye minus a touchdown over the wimpy career-stress on any Sunday.
Don't believe me about the prudery? I recopy this very page's disclaimer here:We are ardently committed to free expression, but we do expect Nerve visitors and contributors to interact respectfully and responsibly. Blatant expressions of bigotry, sexism or hatred may be constitutionally protected on the street corner, but they're not cool here.
Candy-ass bullshit. Oh, I now believe NQSE's letter is real.
Peace out.
--AJK
12/09 |
once a month is nothing - if she had addiction potential, it would have occurred long, long ago
--abs
12/08 |
If you don't know what an orc is, it's probably better that you don't ask.
By the by, please forward the names and e-mail addresses of all the guys who answered to the orc question to the ubergeek chick - she'll appreciate it.
--BD
12/08 |
I'm a bit surprised at the problem of the uber-geek girl "Lvl 27 SWF, LFG". She is in quite an enviable position. In the world of geeks, the male:female ratio is something ludicrous like 10:1. Even better, she seems to have dodged the #1 problem that geek in her situation fall prey to-- wanting to date a "normal" (i.e. non-geeky) guy who appreciates her geekdom. She actually wants a nice geeky guy-- the geek world is her oyster! I know single, respectable, goodhearted men of complete geekitude in at least 4 cities across the nation.
Given that, I have two suggestions.
First, if this girl is living in a rural area she should consider moving to a city or visiting one more often. Geeks are more likely to be "in the closet" in less urban areas.
Second, she should go to places where geeks hang out. Conventions (Comicon, Dragoncon, Gencon, etc.) and renaissance faires (with the "e"!) are good events to attend. For more day-to-day activities, frequent stores that cater to geeks: places that sell books, comic books, computers, role playing games, etc.
One final item. Geeks have something of a reputation (unfortunately somewhat deservedly) for often being fat. However, there are plenty of geeky guys who are less interested in how many extra pounds a girl is carrying and more interested in how many points of damage her paladin can do.
As a large, non-geeky woman once said to me "the renaissance faire is the fat girl's best friend. Those costumes aren't made for skinny bitches!"
so, "Lvl 27 SWF, LFG", go out there and get yourself a geek man to love. We're out there.
--dan
12/07 |
Am I alone in thinking that ditching an otherwise awesome new girl over the occassional bump of blow is a bit extreme and possibly even a bit self righteous?
--MAX
12/07 |
I'm sure you'll get (probably have gotten at this point) a deluge of emails on this, but for what it's worth:
1) An orc is a humanoid life form that inhabits a fantasy world. Usually described as being green or black, they’re sort of a monsterish looking person, and they’re normally the “faceless evil bad guys that get killed in large numbers” in fantasy books. I believe they were first invented in JRR Tolkien’s “The Hobbit” but it may be of earlier origin. Tolkien’s orcs were originally elves that had been “twisted by evil magic” or some such, and thus hated good wizards, elves, humans, cute puppies, etc…
2) I KNOW you have a ton of these but…. If L27SFWLFG is in new york city put her in touch with me! I’m normal, reasonably attractive, and yes, a geek. Oh, and I’m a lawyer. – bnorth@earthlink.net I'd be happy to meet her, even if she does play alliance.
... yeah like that's going to happen. but anyway that's your answer to your question.
--BN
12/07 |
Bored With Missionary: If this is bothering you, you need to throw away the "don't ask, don't tell" policy. What if you find out your boyfriend went through an entire sorority in a little over a week? It doesn't matter. After all that, he chose to be with YOU. If that isn't a compliment, I don't know what is.
--JCF
12/07 |
Dear Miss I,
Here are some possible answers to your "orc" question.
1) If you watched any of the Lord of the Rings movies, the Orcs are nasty but otherwise vaguely human soldiers in the bad guys' armies.
2) Orcs are among the things you might pretend to kill if you were to play a fantasy role-playing game like "dungeons & dragons" Especially if you are playing with a Paladin.
3) It's a geek thing. You wouldn't understand.
4) Orcs (and other similar beings) in literature are a metonym for unredeemable enemy combatants; people you are free to hate in good conscience because they don't have families, don't have souls, delight in torture and other evilness, are incapable of love or kindness, and/or have really bad hygiene.
--L.O.
12/07 |
Hey, Lvl 27 SWF: I'm a Ph.D student in medieval history, own about a brazillion swords, and joust in a freakin' Renaissance faire. If I can find a WOMAN who puts up with that, you can certainly find a man - especially considering that the boy:girl ratio in geekdom is in your favor.
Where do you find us? Usually libraries. We wear stupid hats, smell like horse poop, laugh at Fark cliches, and write Nerve columns.
Oh, wait, that last one is just me.
--KenM
12/06 |
Oh, and not pretty, or tall, or immortal. And, as the first poster points out, evil. Which makes it okay for your correspondent to kill them.
--ijk
12/06 |
You know Tolkien's elves? Pretty, tall, immortal? Orcs are the evil derivatives of elves, created by Tolkien's Luciferian dark lord (earlier & bigger & badder than the sissified Lord of the Rings) through a lengthy period of Guantanamo-esque imprisonment, torture (stern interrogation?) and corruption. Now a fantasy staple throughout the genre.
--ijk
12/06 |
reverend jen owns elf ears.
and she's the coolest woman i wish i knew.
--cs
12/06 |
Note to elf-girl: There are always some guys out there who find the geeky stuff super-hot, and who you *could* tell on the first date, and it would blow their minds. Those are the guys you're looking for. I'm guessing you just need to Lay Hands on the right Rogue. Be patient, and try to circulate and do everything else to raise your chances as much as possible, without compromising your standards. As long as your standards are reasonable, that is. Only you and your best friends know that for sure.
Note to Erin: Great advice as always. That one line about sex toys was awkward and sounded like it was inserted after the rest of it was written, though! I assume when writing for public consumption one has to assume a certain percentage of your readers are idiots...?
: )
--M
12/06 |
Erin,
I enjoyed the column, as always. Though I don't relate well to some of the typical scenarios people write in about (drug users, staying with partners who cheat, etc.), the CDF description hit home. Though it's still not fun, now that I've seen it in print and know the (your?) name for it, it's easier to deal with and trust that in time, it'll pass. Thanks. Now go polish your halo.
--SAR
12/06 |
they were something evil in the lord of the rings. that's about my knowledge.
--jn
12/06 |
send feedback on "Miss Information"
back to "Miss Information" |
|
|
