Here\'s a solution, don\'t have babies! Pay someone else to have it for you, use genetic engineering to make sure baby is as good as it can be, like Gattaca (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119177/).
--SV
07/30 |
10 gold stars to the first guy--funny, well-written and totally sensible.
--et
07/29 |
Kudos to all the winners! AWESOME advice from them all. In comparison, my reply was a lame duck. Doh! I am SO NOT worthy!
--SMS
07/28 |
The answer that won 1st prize is excellent. The second answer from Carmen is appalling and I can't understand why you've even published it.
--EG
07/28 |
The first answer was ok, the second two were heartless. Does no one know anything about how hormones affect sex drive? For both men and women, testosterone affects sex drive. This new mother has gone through a terrific hormonal roller coaster, and if she is still breast feeding, she is still on it. Breast feeding suppresses estrogen release and inhibits ovulation. Since the ovaries make half of a woman's testosterone, it would be logical to assume that if her ovary function is being suppressed by breast feeding she would have less testosterone....thus less sex drive. Many women also experience vaginal dryness while breast feeding because of decreased estrogen levels. These are common problems. I'm sure the wife wants to please her husband, but sex without any desire is not fun. Maybe he should be a little more appreciative of the sacrafices she is making to create and feed their child and use his right hand a little more until her body goes back to normal.
--PD
07/26 |
Um, why is nobody talking about breastfeeding? Doesn't breast feeding release hormones that decrease the sex drive. So, CC, that's "how long" a woman can use hormones as an "excuse"--as long as she's breast feeding. And we don't have that info on this woman, though 9 months is not too long.
(All I'm saying is, Dan Savage would've at least MENTIONED breast feeding and hormones.)
--LT
07/26 |
As a father of two, the first answer is dead on. The other two answers you should throw out. The other two answers do not reflect real life experience.
--CN
07/26 |
With all respect, how long can you use hormones and exhaustion as an excuse? You want to say 6 months? Okay. So what's this woman's excuse for withholding sex for almost a year? A baby doesn't switch off mom or dad's sex drive. And I cannot imagine why anybody would be expected to 'do without' for a longer-than-reasonable time. Sex is, if not *the* most important thing, among the most important things in a relationship. Period. End of story.
--CC
07/26 |
I thought that the first answer was really, really good. But the second one (and the third to some degree) is ridiculous. Motherhood is exhausting. Your body is a wreck too, hormone-wise. Who knows how much this guy is contributing?
--ea
07/26 |
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