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Reader Feedback on "Miss Information"
I think your advice to the girl asking about how to "gently ward off" e-mail would-be-daters who are "not attractive" is spot-on... EXCEPT for one omission.
Another option is for the on-line shopper to be honest (prophylactically) when getting to know these folks online BEFORE you see the pictures. If you're in the game for eye-candy, own up to it. State beforehand something like this:
"I must let you know - even though you may be the kindest, most intelligent & insightful member of the dating community that I may ever hope to meet in this or any lifetime, and regardless of the fact that you may be able to take me places that I have never even dreamed about, I must tell you that I will gladly forego all of those possibilities if you are not the type of eye-candy that makes me moisten at first glance. And to give some encouragement to those of you who do make me "moisten," it's OK if you are abusive alcoholics, serial killers, and have IQ's in the lower double-digits. Don't worry about it! A girl wants what a girl wants, & I got's to have my eye candy."
- That would weed-out your losers pretty effectively & help you avoid the embarrassment of having to deal with them, don't you think ?
Have a lovely day.
--gwo
12/10 |
+I like the old standard reason of "I went back with my old boyfriend, timing just wasn't good related to you and I, good luck" Usually not hurting one's feelings because it has nothing to do with them.
david h
--dh
12/04 |
If you go the "white lie" route, then don't make it stupidly transparent. "I just started seeing someone," is about as stupid as you can get. Then why is your profile still up, and why are you logging on to it every day? How about something both kind and true like, "Thanks, but I don't feel a connection," instead of something insulting and false?
--REM
11/28 |
EB's right, nobody with anything zoned residential between their ears would ever expect to get many responses from a personal ad with no picture in anno domini 2007. I responded to an ad like that once in the late 90's. ONCE. It was my first personals date ever, and I learned my lesson quickly. Nowadays it's even more true that anyone without at least some passing attempt at a picture almost definitely has more to hide than you will want to deal with. (This is assuming they don't have a really winning explanation in the text for their lack of pic.) Steer clear.
--MW
11/28 |
I'm not quite as down as Miss Info on option C for the first writer. Obviously, if you're on a personals site looking for the potential love of your life, and you're likely to be turned off by bad looks, don't ever respond to an ad that does not include a photo. However, the writer didn't actually say it was a personals site, just "someone interesting online," and that could be from all kinds of places. If he/she is interesting online, there's no reason he/she can't continue to be interesting online, especially if your correspond by E-mail where the reply doesn't have to be immediately. (If he/she is bugging you frequently with instant messages, tell him/her that you've gotten really busy lately, and would prefer E-mail, and if he/she still bugs you after that, block 'em.) Just say you want the photo because you like to know what your online friends look like. Try not to imply that there's any opportunity for more-than-friendship until you see it.
--JCF
11/28 |
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