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Reader Feedback on "Miss Information"

Re: rubbed rong. Seriously, she has to let go. The guy was honest with the history behind them being apart, she should be thankful for the honesty and give him a break. Does she know how freakin hard it is to get a massage around $100??? Geez. And masseuses can be pushy when it comes to business - the guy wants to do well by his hippy handler, let him do what it takes. With Spitzer and Paterson, et al, monogomy is taking a back seat - give the guy a break and let him be who he is, doing business with whom he wants, how he wants to do it. If you want him in your life so much, accept it!
--BK
03/18

Regarding Andrew on the clinics rant -- I don't think pitting care for folks who are destitute and poor against those who are middle class (but still can't afford to splurge on health care if free services are available) is really the way to solve the problem. Instead of having a pity party because of the impossible situation you're put in every day, you should join with like-minded people to put pressure on those with the power to change the system. One of those like-minded people is Erin, who very obviously called attention to the funding issues creating the problem in the first place. So stop venting by "calling out" potential allies, and try offering something constructive instead next time.
--MW
03/10

Re: Woman who posted co-worker's photo on personal site. You rightly take her to task on her deception of the contact, but Christ Almighty WHAT ABOUT THE CO-WORKER?! Someone using my picture deceitfully bothers me way more than being lied to. Really, lies on personals are expected, posting my photo w/o permission is psycho vengeance.
--dgh
02/29

Andrew, Wow. I hope you know how much you are appreciated. People like you are the true heroes in this world, sweetheart. Stay strong.
--b
02/28

What's an "indy" dance? I'm from Indiana and never heard of one or went to one. I think you mean "indie"...
--
02/28

To Andrew. You are important, we need you, stay in the game.
--CDF
02/28

I agree with EV too! He should keep using condom, she should also use other birth control methods if she wants to. I'm one of those types who don't trust women in this scenario. Too many pregnant women around these days!
--SV
02/27

Man! I heard wearing a condom is like jerkin off with a boxing glove! You a redhead Missy? I can't tell.
--M7C
02/27

I have had two girls suddenly decide to quit using birth control. I got used to no condom sex and suddenly was shooting a loaded pistol. I can understand why he might choose to stay with condoms. Also, if a guy is nervous about getting his girl pregnant he might need a condom to relax and enjoy sex. Or, he's sleeping around.
--ajh
02/27

With regard to your recent narrative: “After determining that it would be cheaper to go to the clinic than pay the insurance deductible, I took three trains to an unfamiliar neighborhood and sat in a stifling waiting room that smelled like Newports, rubbing alcohol and Chinese takeout. The exam was standard, but the follow-up was ridic. I'd only get a phone call if something was wrong, the woman at the front desk explained. Thanks, but the fact that it's 2008 and your office still employs rubber stamps and mimeographs (thanks for the funding, Dubya!) doesn't inspire a lot of trust in your recordkeeping” How about a little context for you. Today was a little more hectic than usual at the two clinics where I work. I saw about 30 patients, which breaks down to 10 – 15 minutes per encounter. Not a whole lot of time to say hello, get a medical history, review all the important body systems, figure out what’s going on, and then either diagnose or send for labs diagnostics etc etc. So, there was the 45 year old woman whose brain has been basically degenerating for the past two years. A CT scan shows the degeneration of the cerebellum but the only neurologist she has access to (almost all neurologists in southern Connecticut will not accept patients on Medicaid or medicare- doesn’t pay enough and poor people like to sue) insists that its all in her head, no pun intended. He thinks she’s a nut job. Unfortunately, today she was worse, much worse. Her head was shaking up and down, her arms flopping back and forth, her right leg swinging in front of her left when she walks, and she is haunted by increasingly violent thoughts of paranoia. Could it be treated? Who knows? But her neurologist thinks it’s a hoax. And then, the 50 year old woman who sells hot dogs on the green for a living (quite cold out there today) with atypical chest pain. It lasted for ten minutes the other day, as if someone was sitting on her chest with shortness of breath and pain radiating up her jaw and neck. Her customers wanted to take her to the hospital but she doesn’t have insurance. The trip to the ER might entail catastrophic bills. Since she has no insurance, we had to settle for a little old ECG, which really doesn’t show much, a pat on the back, and fingers crossed that she doesn’t have a massive heart attack out on the green with the hot dog cart. And on and on and on. To varying degrees, every day, trying to piece together primary care with meager resources and an overwhelmed staff. Community health clinics don’t pay all too well, and most of the staff have fairly complicated lives in their own right (like the nurse whose baby has been in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for the past three months – a premature baby who just fractured his hip due to the large doses of steroids the 3 pounder has been taking to ward off respiratory infections). Sorry we couldn’t get right back to you with your test results, or that our patients smelled a little gamey. Your snarky little comments might have been better left unsaid. Go to your own doc next time and give the people who actually need our services a place in the line. Respectfully., Andrew Yim, Nurse Practitioner, New Haven C
--AJY
02/27

The last time I got tested, they just did a mouth swab. The results were ready in 20 minutes. I think (?) this test is relatively new, but it does exist, at least for HIV testing. erin is right that there could be a million reason (probably simple fear/avoidance) why he isn't doing it, but Trojan Horse should also know that getting tested doesn't have to be as difficult as most think. If the bf keeps resisting, then something is up.
--j a
02/27

Trojan Horse, I second ev’s comments. Image Problem said it’s “serious”? Are you kidding? She hasn’t even met the guy in person. She’s having a fantasy, virtual relationship in her own head. She needs counseling. Like yesterday. Then, when she’s ready to play with us the real-world, she needs to start going on real dates. Also, she should never engage in this kind of chicanery again. Once a woman shows she’s untrustworthy, she’s history. Hermit Crab does fear rejection. He should man up and deal with it. We healthy, single men face rejection daily. You don’t take rejection personally. You deal with it by recognizing it’s her loss and then immediately moving on to the next woman.
--FYI
02/27

As for condom guy, he might be one of those "types" that doesn't want to get a girl pregnant and doesn't entirely trust his gf to be in charge of the birth control. If a woman gets pregnant then the man has no choice in what happens. I don't want children now and wouldn't trust a man to be in charge of birth control and am actually surprised that more men don't insist on wearing condoms throughout the relationship.
--e"v
02/27

Dear Miss Information, In your article today, there is one thing lacking from your answer for the girl who's boyfriend won't get tested for an STD. For a guy, getting tested for an STD requires that they stick a swab down the tip of your dick into your urethra. It really hurts. In fact reading the words "tested for an STD" brings back phantom pangs of pain in my penis. While it is not an excuse, it definitely is painful enough to give pause to any man who is seeking a test for an STD, and he may be making sure that he is really committed to this relationship before he volunteers for a technician to perform this procedure on him.
--rs
02/27

wow, that ironic gallagher photo was nasty. i know a dude in my hometown who's got that going too, though it's slightly more salvidor dali-esque. there's a semester for that phase in college, then it's time to move on!
--jab
02/27

For the girl with the fake pictures... That was a really shitty thing to do. Not to mention, you posted pics of a co-worker, and for all intents and purposes, pretended to be her. You're lucky she didn't find out. I'm sure she could have sued you, if not you'd have been lucky to simply lose your job.
--AJL
02/27

"Image Problem" sounds like a sitcom plot. I'm sure I've heard (made-up) stories about people falling in love with the wrong photo. If you really did this in real life, it's obviously time to 'fess up now, but also be sure to take down the offending photo. If you want to put someone else's photo up, make sure it's an obvious joke, like a photo of Hillary Clinton or the like. For "Hermit Crab," the thing to do is write the girl on-line and say you've always been interested in these events but have never gotten up the nerve to attend, because you don't know anyone appropriate to bring along, and would she be willing to save a dance or two with you so you won't feel like a total loser if you show up and aren't sure what to do next? That's not stalking. Stalking is when she tells you to drop dead, but you still drive up and peek at her through your car window. If she's not interested, ask if she has any friends who would be willing to show you if these indie dance events can be fun. Keep in mind that these kinds of events often have very loud music that makes long conversations impossible, so don't be too nervous about that, and the ice is broken either way.
--JCF
02/27

for the guy who wants to approach the girl on facebook: why not just send her a message on facebook? there's nothing wrong with being direct. then, if she responds and all you can plan to meet up somewhere. it can even be at an indy dance or whatever. if it were me, i'd appreciate the directness.
--
02/27

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