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Reader Feedback on "Miss Information"

Thanks for your response to "Confused Bride-to-be". As a family law attorney I am continually surprised at how little people know about what marriage means legally--until they get divorced, that is. One of the parties requesting a pre-nup is usually the only way either one of them gives any thought to what legal rights and obligations they are creating. Rather than seriously looking at that, though, most people waste their energy getting offended that the topic was ever brought up. If you can't talk to your fiance seriously about how you plan on taking care of one another for the rest of your lives, why are you getting married? That's why pre-nups are pretty uncommon with first marriages but increasingly more common with the subsequent unions.
--SC
03/30

To the girl offended by the pre-nup: Asking a woman to sign a pre-nup is an excellent litmus test. You failed. If you really love him, ask him to dump you. To all young men: Pre-nups and paternity tests should be standard. If you chicken out on either, you're playing ho's before bro's.
--ML
03/30

I had a somewhat similar situation to the "Cheater" letter. I run into a handsome guy who asks me out some weeks later. We have a wonderful dinner, talk lots, tons of chemistry. During dessert, he tells me he's in a relationship and won't leave her, but he wants to see "where this is going." Taken aback, and a little tipsy, I let him drive me home. Some making out but nothing else. Next day, sober, I tell him it's not a go. He emails me. I say no. He emails again. I say leave me alone. Another email message. I google the girlfriend and find her work email address, and reply to him that if he emails me again I will send copies of all our correspondence to her, and invite her out for lunch if she wants to discuss the details. I haven't heard from him since.
--tk
03/29

You know something? You're the best agony babe there is. You're self deprecating, and that makes your answers palatable. As opposed to the woman who writes for Esquire and insists on running down poor blokes and blokesses, you positively rock. Will ask you a question one of these days when i need your advice - mohosapien@gmail.com
--r m
03/28

good advice on the pre-nups. hard as hell to bring them up anyway, but particularly if you think it will last, a pre-nup doesn't prevent people from sharing their money with you during life or via a will.
--dcf
03/26

if sex didn't have the potential to kill you i'd say keep it to yourself, but since it does TELL IT. let the chips fall where they may.
--s
03/26

I told on a cheater last month. Baaaaad idea.
--om
03/26

Re: Cheating The volunteering a naked picture and contact information to a stranger on the internet make me a little suspicious. It might not even be the woman in question who is contacting you - it could be her husband who has a cuckold fantasy and gets off on strange guys ogling and trying to set up meetings with his wife. Or maybe she's just twisted. Or maybe a neighborhood kid who babysits for them found the pictures and is f**king with you. But I personally think the most likely culprit is: husband > wife >>> anyone else. Still, I'd stay out of it.
--MM
03/26

For Cheater Bait, the best policy when you see other people cheating is mind-your-own-business, because you don't really know all of the details. Miss Info's advice is good: just block her from communicating with you, if you can. If there's some avenue you have that won't allow blocking, you can threaten to send the naked photo to her husband if she doesn't quit bothering you, but that might backfire if she tries to open up even more in response, to get you to understand "Why", so it's better just to block her if you have that option. For Confused-Bride-To-Be, sometimes rich kids get tremendous pressure from their families to sign pre-nups, because other family members have screwed up in the past. So don't look at it as if he's not trusting you, but rather that his family is not trusting you, and they don't know you as well as he does. Just make sure that the pre-nup treats you fairly (you don't end up penniless if he's the one screwing around), and maybe even putting in an expiration clause where the whole thing goes away after ten years. Try to find something that appeases all who have a stake in it. If you can't find a solution, maybe it is a good reason to forget marriage after all. Consult an attorney before signing, of course, and make sure there's clauses about what happens to any kids you might have.
--JCF
03/26

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