I think it's very interesting that most of the women commenting (including Miss Info) are getting all hung up on the guy's job and missing some of the much more obvious interpretations. I wonder how different the responses would've been if she said he was coming home uninterested in sex with her from his job as a high-powered attorney...
--HMM
05/17 |
You are always soooooooooo right! I especially agreed with you on the horny girlfriend with the older deadbeat boyfriend. So true.
--A.K.
05/14 |
Fun insight.
--jmf
05/08 |
Dear Antsy Arts,
As a blue collar,worked 16 hr days for a long fucking time guy, let me tell you this. TIRED is TIRED and believe it or not,sex does not have an appeal sometimes when a man is run down and beat down.
Things that work : Take a shower with him and talk to him. Scrub his back,wash his feet( cause believe it or not,sometimes you are so tired that you don't want to even TAKE a shower let alone bend over and wash your own feet) and of course,slowly was his nether regions without making it seem like you are doing it JUST to get him to have sex.
Help him dry off. Sound silly, but it works.
Just talk in a normal voice ... don't try to sound too happy and energetic and not "poor tired baby" stuff either.
After a shower like that, sometime a guy just wants to be a beasty boy.
I'm not telling you to be a door mat so don't take it the wrong way. I do things for my wife when my schedule isn't crampacked full, like have dinner cooked or the house cleaned or I was dishes if she cooks or I just cook and clean up. There is also the foot massage. It usually last through the whole "house" or "csi" episode. She usually passes out, but it is like money in the bank. I WILL get paid.
ERIN . . . smack,smack,smack!!! That is your clitsmack!
dirtwood
--
05/08 |
Interior Fornicator, If a woman doesn't want to fuck you to start with, what is in the bedroom will never matter cause she will never see it.
I once lived in a 17 ' camper trailer that was 25 yrs old and had no hot water and the "bed" was where you let down the table and had cushions on it. I got fucked on a very regular basis. If somebody thinks you are hot and they want to know you ia "biblical way" then the "where" has already taken place in her head and you will get laid regardless.
You are trying too hard for the wrong thing.
dirtwood
--
05/08 |
decent lighting! no overheads, just a soft low light by the bed.
and decent pillows, enough so she feels encouraged to spend the night.
--nf
05/07 |
RE: Interior Fornicator
TIP: Get a maid service. The cheapest one you can find (you won't have to worry about having your shit stolen because you appear to have no stealworthy stuff). Nothing says "fuck me" like a clean living space.
--PO
05/07 |
for the interiors guy:
two words: indirect lighting! forget that your bedroom has a ceiling light all together. You want lamps around the room, maybe three to adjust to anyones 'lights on' comfort level, and they can be cool manly lamps as long as you find bulbs that give a fairly warm light, so as to flatter your guests complexion.
--n
05/07 |
I agree with CMT. Think of the nicest hotel you've ever stayed in (it should also be something of a match with your general style--don't pick victorian if you like modern). Then start with bedding and add a few other touches to make your bedroom feel like that hotel. Nice, crisp sheets and towels (I like white--you can bleach them and always have them look crisp, clean and spa-like). Multiple pillows (nice for, um, support). Decent lighting so you don't have to choose between operating room-bright or pitch black while you're getting down.
--JO
05/07 |
I'm with KJW. Black leather and chrome says "trying too hard" and also "sexually transmitted disease"
--LS
05/07 |
Extra toothbrushes. Extra clean towels - nice thick ones. Clean bedding. At least two pillows.
Spend a little time on the decor - generally, women aren't looking for a guy who has his place decorated like a woman. But in addition to basic cleanliness, most women appreciate a man who has made some efforts to make a place his own - a few pictures of family or friends or your childhood dog, some framed prints that you actually like, a piece or two of real furniture (buy second-hand - older stuff is cheaper and made better), at least four matching dishes/glass/silverware settings, and, if your lease will allow it, walls painted anything other than landlord white.
The most common bachelor-pad turnoffs, in my experience, are either extreme messiness (dirty dishes and so on), or extreme neatness combined with an obsessive, cold minimalism. Some women might like a room with all black leather, glass, chrome and walls of stero equipment, but most find it unnerving.
--kjw
05/07 |
You were correct about the sheets. The best thing he could spend his money on is NICE bedding - good pillows, quality sheets and best of all, a comforter/sham set. It doesn't make him look feminine, it looks grown up and put together. It makes a chick more inclined to stay over. That said, the room should also be clean and smell nice. No fuck-temple decor necessary. Horny man/clean room/nice bed = let the screwing begin!
--cmt
05/07 |
Antsy,
If you want your man to take care of you sexually, take care of him physically and emotionally. When he comes home bone-ass tired from work, greet him dolled up at the door with a smile, a kiss, and a hot meal. Bring him his beer. Cold. Let him watch his favorite TV show undisturbed. Now that he has had a chance to eat and unwind the way he likes (which took, what, all of 90 minutes?), he will be rested and hungry for you. Enjoy the ride.
--FYI
05/07 |
Always in the house - one bottle each of not-awful red and white wine; two actual wineglasses (no mugs!). Much classier than offering a date beer, romantic, all that. You can get the wine cheaply at Trader Joe's and the wineglasses at Target or Costco. Total: ~$10-$15.
Along the same lines, one bar of dark chocolate, in the cupboard at all times, to be served with the wine. I recommend 70% cocoa. Total: $3.
Get rid of the Scarface poster, and invest in some picture frames. Frames you can get extremely cheaply at IKEA. Then go to a thrift shop and buy some old magazines and frame interesting ads or images or covers. Total: $7-10 per frame.
--MRI
05/07 |
Most bachelors I've met make the mistake of too sloppy or too minimalist (furniture-wise). Mostly, women are going to want you to have a queen or bigger bed with sheets and some sort of comforter/blanket on it (not mattress on the floor, obviously sheets should be clean and normalish like white cotton not black satin to appeal to most people). Also have some sort of furniture otherwise - bedside tables and a dresser are a good start. Put lamps on the bedside tables. Put your clothes in the dresser and closet, not strewn all over the floor. Basic furniture, having your bed made and general cleanliness are really all you need. A lot of late 20s do the mattress on the floor with a sleeping bag for sheets thing, pizza boxes and beer cans, etc - mostly, have a normal room instead of what would be at home in a frat.
--MM
05/07 |
Additional hints for Interior Fornicator's boudoir makeover . . .
A tidy apartment. Nothing turns off a girl more than the smell of stinky socks and last week's pizza doubling as a centerpiece on the coffee table. Guys don't need to be neat freaks to keep yellow stains and stray 'hairs' off the toilet seat and bathroom floor. They just need a bottle of disinfectant and some paper towels and a few minutes once a week to keep us gals from running away screaming . . . .
--SJT
05/07 |
Extra toothbrushes, yes! Also food. Even if your fridge is all ketchup and beer, it's pretty easy to keep nonperishable basics on hand in case you and she work up an appetite.
--girl
05/07 |
Sorry, Antsy Artsy, Erin's wrong. If your boy is working a fourteen-hour day on the warehouse floor, it doesn't matter what techniques you use...wrung-out is wrung-out.
The real question is "how long is he going to stay in this job?" If it's all he's ever going to do, then you've got a problem. If this is just a stepping stone to something else that leaves him more energy, then hang on for the vacations.
--RST
05/07 |
Add spare toothbrushes to the list.
--MC
05/07 |
send feedback on "Miss Information"
back to "Miss Information" |
