SPECIAL ISSUES

Reader Feedback on "Tell us what you think about same-sex marriage"

I think there are, unfortunately, issues at work beyond the "morality" or "rights of the individual" at stake with America finally allowing Homosexual Marriages. Ecomonically, the US just cannot afford to allow this. Our government, in much debt as always, cannot afford the extra Social Security, and other such benefits that are currently authorized for "spouses". Not that I agree with it, just another glitch that needs to be overcome. Unfortunately, our country is really about the money more than any other issue! As for marriage itself, I have a unique point of view. Though, I am a straight female, very much in love with my husband... I am also the daughter of a homosexual couple. My parents have been together for 26 years. That is longer than most hetrosexual couples by a long shot. In living in this envirnoment, just about my entire childhood, I didn't turn out gay as people would believe. Instead, because of the discrimination toward my parents, I have a much more open mind toward all things, people of different colors, people of different faiths, etc. Luckily for my parents, the state of Massachusetts has legalized homosexual marriage, and after 26 years, my parents are finally married as they should be. As for what happens in their bedroom... I don't believe it's much different than what happens in my bedroom. Sex is pleasure. Does it matter how that pleasure derives? I don't believe it does. I think that what happens in any bedroom is the privacy of the occupants. I don't agree with the sodomy laws. Locially, most hetrosexual relationships do violate these laws when you look at the pure meaning of sodomy {sod·om·y (sd-m) n. 1) Anal copulation of one male with another. 2) Anal or oral copulation with a member of the opposite sex. 3) Copulation with an animal.}. I don't know anyone that would give up oral sex. I know, I wouldn't!! Finally, the "morality" issue... The bible was written by a man! Why do people forget this? In older times, before Christianity, there were many cultures that had many homosexual contexts. The Greeks for example! I don't believe that same gender love making is wrong. I think it is natural in most ways. Otherwise, why would 95% of all men fantasize about being with 2 women? Why is it that a church, that condemns homosexuality more than any other, is now finding that its religious advisors to the people (priests, bishops, etc.) are actually committing the biggest sin? I don't condemn those that follow Christianity, however, I disagree with most of its practices. In closing, I do believe that all people were created equal. All should be able to appreciate the rights of marriage regardless of the gender of their spouse. And most importantly, that the country of "Freedom" will some day overcome its narrow-mindedness!
--tlla
10/06

Since marriage is a civil-union in the USA, it makes sense that gay couples should receive the same benefits, such as rights to health care plans, visiting each other in the hospital, etc. You can have your personal viewpoints, agree or disagree with the morality of it, but from a legal standpoint, it should be legalized as a civil union.
--MM
09/03

I really wish people would take the whole religious debate out of same-sex marriage. This is about basic human rights, not what some book says is right and wrong. It's totally cool if they believe in the Bible, but that doesn't mean that those beliefs should be imposed on the entire nation. Lots of people forget that America was founded on the basis of freedom, specifically religious. It's also historically accurate that King James himself was gay, and changed some of the words in the bible to "fornication" and "adultery" so that he could be gay without sinning. Who knows what else could have been tampered with? Let people be. Let people love. Everyone is given the ability to love, and love doesn't choose who it wants to bestow its gifts upon. Marriage is the connection of two people who love each other and want to be together for the rest of their lives. I wish the children debate would stop, too. Aren't there so many orphans that could benefit from a loving home provided by a married gay couple? Just how is the couple harming the child, any more than continuing to be in foster care would? How does their marriage in any way spoil or ruin the right to marry for heterosexuals? Let freedom ring, freedom and justice for all, not most. I send my love to all newlyweds, gay and straight.
--LR
08/03

Go for it. But why would you want to when you get a free pass. Gay people don't have to worry about the normal societal pressures of marriage and children. They're lucky in that sense. But if it makes them happy they should absolutely be free to marry and have that marriage be validated by the state, or whomever makes people feel they're love and commitment to each other is valid.
--Amy
08/03

I enjoyed this essay (if enjoyed is an appropos phrase here). As a person who is divorced (and never thought it would happen), I concur, I commiserate, and I still, truly hope for love.
--rjb
07/29

pussy
--
07/28

It's a must to allow same-sex marriage if America is truly interested in giving it's citizens the pursuit of happiness. Just because you don't understand why someone loves the same sex does'nt mean you can take away their rights. Leave sex in private, God in church and equal rights for all Americans
--DFR
07/19

Since when are gays considered outside or unworthy of basic rights every other citizen of a country has? I am also Canadian and was personally very disappointed when the gay marriage bill was not passed. I am bisexual and in a long term relationship with a man. I choose not to marry because I don't agree with the ownership of it I also find it ridiculous because of the religious aspects, however I do not feel that because that is my opinion I must press it on others. I would also like to think that had I fallen in love with a woman for good I could marry her if I wanted. All those shit on a dick comments? Get a grip yourself...why do you care what goes on in other peoples bedrooms? Many people end up in sexually explosive and exciting relationships gay OR straight and some talk of marriage, but those who do get married presumably are in love also. (Gay OR straight). Going by the high divorce rates, straight people are not taking marriage as seriously as some people would have you believe.
--CA
07/03

I think the decision to get married should be between the two people getting married. It's interesting to me that people who would have a fit if someone tried to take a 'right' away from them think nothing of taking rights away from someone else. I would love to ask Jerry Falwell if he spends as much time helping the needy or volunteering in soup kitchens as he does picking and choosing passages from the bible to suit his needs. Do you think I can stone my neighbor to death for working on the sabbath?
--JD
07/02

me being a gay man,we should be able to marry who ever we please. it's our life.
--js
06/30

they should be aloud to have there own sex pleasure and if they get there own orgasim hew which ever they please
--dm
06/25

I think it is good for gay men
--ML
06/25

I think people should be able to marry who ever they want to as long as they are happy. If marrying someone in the same sex makes someone happy then we can not deny them that love. Gays and lesbians are not hurting anyone, although many people religions say otherwise. May all gay and lesbian marriages be healthy and happy. God Bless!
--cb
06/25

Also about the whole Aids thing .... did you know that more Women in Africa have Aids then Men in America do...
--@-)-
06/25

This is bullshit. Everyone is right and everyone is wrong. In "God" and the "Church's" eyes us gays are going to hell in a hand basket... but acording to the bible we must live by the rules of man right? but Sodomy is legal in some states... And I personaly think that Gay mariage and sex is just gods way of cutting down on overpopulation :) and also.....a comment to the shit on a dick guy......If Anal Sex between 2 guys is so wrong then why do most hetero men have anal sex with women..(Or want to) does it make it right that the person reciving the dick up the ass has a "pussy" or a "dick" Think about that one the next time you make a jackass comment "PUNK"
--DC
06/25

i think is not meant to be but let them eat shit cause they will end up with bad breath. as for reproduction it is useless. as for among women they are so pretty that they can do what they please is ok by me. as for official recognition i think the state most have more important things to do. as for the church i think is a sin among men.
--memo
06/24

Hi, I'm Brazilian, and I thought USA were the country of freedom. Oh, Gosh, we from third world, have more freedom than you. See the São Paulo Gay Parade. Almost 2 million of people.
--mrb
06/22

I think is not to be judge. because if u put ten male on a row and ask how many have had some feeling towards a man at least once.99%of them will tell u that they had.
--
06/22

I'm Canadian, and while I'm all for 'civil unions' which give gay couples all the legal rights and entitlements of marriage, I'm not so certain that gay marriage is a good idea. Most of my gay friends seem to have those velcro-couple insta-relationships: add man and stir. It's love everlasting for a few months, and then it explodes as dramatically as it developed, and then they are on to the next soulmate-search. I'd hate to see how many gay divorces will clog up the courts. Some months ago, when the legalization was nearing completion, I read an article stuffed full of quotes from 'long-term' pro-marriage gay couples. None of them were still together at time of printing. I say go for common-law relationship rights. If you've put in the time, then you get the benefits.
--CM
06/19

Totally Retarded. But at least Aids is the final verdict for shit on a dick. How convenient. Hell, at least ducks have more morals. Guess we can at least point this out to the kids, that there is still lower animals that respect the rules of the planet. How one species can interact, and then totally ignore the opposite sex,,, and now they want respect too. As a Man, I can't imagine a more perfect creature than a women, even if given the option to alter the design. It's not possible.
--Phil
06/17

Totally Retarded Just Goes to show Ya, the very few who can, will exploit all means of the rights of others as it was always meant to be. At least Aids is the final verdict for shit on a dick. But then we have the other side of the universe, where how the hell can one deny making love to a women? Fuuking ducks have more morals.
--Phil
06/17

I think the most important part of any marriage is that all activities are consensula and that the marriage is healthy, after that who cares about the same-sex or not. Does it really make you a better person if you are in a hetro. marriage and unhappy?
--TD
06/17

Why is this even a question? Are we Americans? Gay marriage is a religous morality issue. Why does the Christian Right, or left, think that we should stay out of the business of the church but yet attempt to influence government? An American citizen, whether gay or straight, should have the same rights as everyone else. Would I have allowed the government, or the church, tell me I could not marry my wife because she is catholic and I am not? Equal rights for all, please. Then we can really be ... America.
--ML
06/16

I'm VERY straight, but to each his own.
--MW
06/16

Look I am not homo-phobic but lets look at realistictly,please!!! In the case of male -male partnerships At some point your relationship will come down to sex. Dont you realize that no matter how much cleaning you do one male will be putting his reproductive organ into another mans trash can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean really what is right about that?I have to say that as far as I am concerned there is something wrong about that.My cousin is gay and he is one of the best people in the world I would go to the ends of the earth for him. Please understand that I will ffight for your right to do whatever it is you want to do as it is your right!!!!!!!!! But get a grip!!!It is wrong not in my eyes but at least physically
--J.B
06/16

it's ONLY UP TO THE LORD TO JUDGE and THE LORD ALONE. if you don't like it then. YOUR NOT GOD.
--alo
06/16

If it is equated to marriage between a man and a women, it should be banned. Same-sex unions, partnerships, live togethers should have some standing, but not the legal stand of marriage. Other than religious grounds, I base my opinion on the welfare of children and ultimatly, society.
--RBM
06/15

To tell you the truth I'm all for the same-sex marriage if to people really love each other they get married and have a live together! And that is all there is to it and any one who gets in the way of that should get slapped in the fuck'n face! Thats my story and im sticking to it! later!
--MB
06/15

Marriage is about love & commitment. It's got nothing to do with church or a piece of paper. That our unions are sanctioned by the state or sanctified by a religious organization is more about control than anything else. In the land of the free my gender & who I love is nobody's business but mine & the others I am involved with.
--rt
06/15

ben türküm elma kafalı istiyorsanız türkiyeye geliniz.com
--elma
06/11

I think this sums thing up nicely. Excerpt from Larry the Cable Guy's Website: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS RUSSIA? Ok, let's set the record straight on all the turd burglars and lickolatipusses getting married the past few days. It all boils down to this. These sumbitches could care less about getting married. If they wanted to be together and adopt kids and finger bang one another over ice cream while watching queer eye for the straight guy and Friends than they can do it all day long. This aint about love or being together. If ya think it is than your heads so far up your ass you could poop facial features. This is about National acceptance. If they can be married like traditional marriages than they can say they have an acceptable lifestyle. It's as simple as breaking beer bottles over the heads of illegal immigrants at a border bar. Look, I could care less who's gay or not. I'd rather live next to queers than illegal Haitians cause at least they'd have a nice yard. But that aint the point. The point is this. My nuts itch! Here's the other point. The majority of people in this country could care less about who's humpin who, they also could care less that Whoopi Goldberg has a new show. (but that aint relevant here). But the majority of people don't agree that 2 men humping each other is right. However, we still need more research on 2 chicks humping each other. Ugly fat chicks humping is wrong, that's a given. It's the good looking ones I need more research on. Since the majority of people will always agree that this is a wrong lifestyle then the Elton Johns and the Rosie O'Donnell's of the world are going to the courts and hoping that brain dead judges will make laws to force people to accept something that morally they can't accept. It's as simple as yelling "Whoopi sucks." Like the pope said watching television, "Whoopi sucks."
--DPS
06/10

yacks
--
06/10

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Go back in your closet! I am SO sick of hearing about this over & over. I really could not care less. Just leave me alone. I do not have to accept it, like it or otherwise know about it.
--DPS
06/09

WE ALL SHOULD HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS!
--SM
06/07

Acceptance of same-sex marriage is essential for our social development. To cry freedom and democracy and values and then to subsequently deny a significant percentage (any percentage really) of people the benefits and recognition of marriage is a travesty. Marriage is a social contract and same-sex marriages are no different. Why is it that two people who want to share their lives with each other, set an example of what love and commitment can create, are denied this accessibility? Seems the rhetoric of values and such are wasted breath until we can give all people the same oppurtunities and respect.
--jbh
06/07

Hi- DWG again. I see I've been asked to extrapolate on an earlier posting, and will gladly do so. I am not suggesting, (nor will a re-reading of my earlier post suggest) that all earlier social norms were/are correct. What I AM suggesting is to be extremely careful when a group decides it's quite O.K. to overturn social norms willy-nilly. Homosexuality (in my opinion, a genetic aberration) has existed throughout history. All cultures have had homosexuals, and various sorts of homosexual liasions. In societies where it was fairly tolerated, the percentages (of homosexuals) seem to be similar to those societies where unspeakable horrors were inflicted upon homosexuals. Therefore, I don't think it is a "choice", any more than my heterosexuality is a choice. (Personally, I would like to see more homosexuals- for a very logical reason- it would leave more women for me! Without gays (or Jews, for that matter)there would essentially be no arts scene in this country as well. Yes,I know that's a stereotype. It happens that I consider it a valid one. Anyway- my point is that regardless of how tolerated homosexuals were in any particular culture, no culture has ever elevated gay unions to the same level as straight unions, In my opinion, the reason is obvious- survival of the culture/race. I think the explosion of illegitimacy we have witnessed over the past 40 years, and all the social ills that flow from it, make my point. It's not that some children can't be raised well by single mothers- it's just that a frighteningly high percentage of them are not ( or cannot). This wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Those readers old enough to remember the sixties remember how free love and a new open sexuality were supposed to lead to a better culture for everyone. Well, I'd like to point out that the reason most women are not able to walk the streets of our major cities after dark is largely due to the social/sexual freedoms enjoyed/abused by the generation of women before them.This also was an unintended and unexpected side effect of sexual freedom. Rights and liberties do not exist in a vacuum. When people start making major changes in social norms other changes occur. Gay marriage will, quite logically, lead to demands for polygamous marriage as well as the legitimization of any union by two or more people who desire to file a joint tax return.After all, of some 1500 cultures studied by anthropologists, approximately 1250 of them are polygamous. I can make a far, far stronger claim for polygamy than monogamy based on statistics and history. And why not incestual unions? The problems of consanguinity, you say? We don't do genetic testing now anyway - plus, whose business is it how my kids turn out? The government pays all the bills, right? The problem here is simple- have you ever noticed how women are treated in polygamous societies? Do you travel and look for yourselves? Is that what you want in our culture? I personally would find it deliciousy ironic if the social and sexual revolutions of the 60's lead us to the brave new polygamous world that exists in much of Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. Don't feel that because we are predominately Christian as opposed to Muslim that women would be that much better off- have you ever read about polygamy among renegade Mormons and how dificult it is for the women who try to escape from that life? I could go on , but I think I've made my point. I am not saying now, nor was I in my earlier post, that all traditional values should be kept. What I am saying is: Look carefully before you leap- the life you save may be your own.
--DWG
06/06

Why is so hard to believe that some gay and lesbian couples simply just want to be married without the whole political dialogue swirling around them? Why is so hard to believe that the couple in question just love each and just want to be married? Stating the obvious here, gays and lesbians are people and just like any other group of people they just want to get married without the whole damn community scrutinized them and turning their private relationship into a national debate. We don't do this to heterosexual couples, why do we do it to homosexual couples? Why make it so complicated? Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
--AW
06/06

The same people who are against same sex marriages are probably the same people who think that races should drink from seperate water fountains. We have come a long way in civil rights, but isn't this who gay marriage crisis another civil rights movement? And before anybody screams that this is different, tell me how so? My mother took a bottle in the face marching with Dr. King, who preached love and acceptance. People are people and if consenting adults love one another and want legal recognition of their partnership, why does it have to be under different titles depending on who you love? Gays and lesbians don't 'choose' to be homosexual any more than I choose to be straight. But, if a religious argument needs to be brought up, God doesn't make mistakes. He loves all of us. It's just too bad we can't all love and accept one another for WHO we are rather than WHAT we are.
--JLP
06/06

One argument about same sex marriage is that it's a religious ceremony and no church would condone this. Then why are judges and ship captains allowed to perform "marriages" and not just civil unions? Have everyone get a civil union which would give you certain privileges and rights, then if you want to get married by the church and have a big wedding, you can do so. Another argument is that the Bible prohibits it. Well instead of picking and choosing what we like from the bible, let's enact all the rules? Let's sell our daughters into slavery and stone disobedient kids, for starters.
--AD
06/06

In response to DWG's "Be careful what you do when you decide that the current generation knows more than thousands of years of accumulated human wisdom" perhaps DWG would care to explain the support of that ancient wisdom for slavery and other ills?
--Anon
06/05

Those who oppose same-sex marriage are clearly supporting discrimination against other human beings. It doesn't matter what logic/theology they use to bolster their arguments- those arguments have all been used in some form at various times to support slavery, racism, and the suppression of women's rights. Eventually it boils down to this: the power to control another person's life to make it conform to one's desires. Society, like marriage, is an alliance of compromises between human beings to make life better for everyone. But like a bad marriage, any society that *demands* compromise (through restrictive laws that prohibit same-sex marriage for example), rather being constructed on a foundation of compromises willingly made by the constituents equally, is a less-than-ideal society. -InterestedListener
--IL
06/05

I love the people who tried to sound intelligent in this arguement, and only came out to sound ignorant. I'm not going to confuse anyone with my opinion; here it is: Same-sex marriage should be legal. Why not? Gays and lesbians have been around since the beginning of time, believe it or not - and their relationships are often more sucessful than that of heterosexual people. Some argue that homosexuality isn't natural. Okay. Neither are birth control pills, polyester, and eyeglasses. Heterosexual marriages are valid because the produce children? So, infertile couples and older men and women shouldn't get be able to be legally married because they can't, right? Oh, and gay parents will only raise gay children..as straight parents only raise straight children? Straight marriages will be less meaningful, you say? Ahh..and Britney Spears's 55 hr just-for-fun marriage was REALLY meaningful, huh? And for the people that worry that the meaning of marriage will change for heterosexual couples.. it hasn't changed at all, is that what you're saying? Women are still property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal. Uh huh. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America..is that what you're saying? Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people makes you tall? Are you insisting that legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior? I agree..people may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage license, right? Children can never succeed without both male and female role models at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children, correct? Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars or longer lifespans..is that it? Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages will for gays and lesbians..is that right, also? (points taken from gatorgsa.org) - With those points stated, think and reflect on that. LOVE IS LOVE. No one can choose who they are attracted to, or I think that alot of gay/lesbian suicides would have changed their minds to make their lives alot easier. Don't try form opinions about things you don't understand...that may put things in perspective. Those of you who are against gay marriage probably haven't even TRIED to see it from the point of view of gay, lesbian, and bisexual people. Tolerance is the key.. and hopefully the world will apply that to this.
--bnc
06/05

Why not? It's two human beings who love one another!
--df
06/05

Gee! I've decided to marry my best friend so that I can claim all his credits as he's such a bum that He doesn't know the difference between a spousal tax credit and single tax credit. Accountant's perspective from an Accoutant looking for a thriving job to get equity into the hands of all human kind. For me marriage is that of the hearts and not of what the courts of law say. Sorry to be such a rebol. I thought that I would not be harming anybody by saying such facts. Whats the point of liberalization when liberalization has no limit. I am a fan of Mr. Bruce La Bruce. Very truly
--NA
06/05

Having been in a same sex relationship for four years I guess I can speak with some honesty that others may not have. our relationship was wonderful for thr first three years in the final on he became very abusive and cheated on me that ended the relationship. I had NO rights to any type of legal recourse such as divorce to gain alimony or proceeds from the eventual sale of the house and asscoiated property that we bought together. So yes I am in favor of GLBT marriages if foe nothing more then acess to the legal system in cases where the relationship fails.
--FJA
06/04

The government should not further compound its bureaucracy by regulating marriage. Nothing is more abhorrent than a government program named after a religious institution. Unfortunately, that government program is grounded in too many tax laws, which also need to be eliminated. Support a Fair Tax (www.fairtax.org) and you can get marriage out of the government forever.
--FSP
06/03

if gay couples wish to get married... let them!
--ae
06/03

I always find it amusing when I read the rantings of pseudo-libertarian cretins about gay marriage. In a world where I'm expected to support other peoples' children, watch entire races self-destruct through bastardry, watch entire cities relocate to avoid the feral offspring of such one-minute unions, I am nonetheless told "It's my life- and none of your business what I choose to do or live". Great- then PAY FOR THE CRAP YOU CAUSE YOURSELVES. The sexual revolution of the sixties had, and continues to have, an enormous impact on EVERYONE'S quality of life- some for better, many (if not most) for the worst. To say that I don't have a right to suggest that society has a legitimate interest in people's private unions is, quite simply, codswallop. Perhaps in a Hobbesian state of nature- but not in the world that most of us live in. While I have no problem with Civil Unions and the like, the whole "gay marriage" thing is yet another assault on "traditional" values by the left and their friends. Be careful what you do when you decide that the current generation knows more than thousands of years of accumulated human wisdom.
--DWG
06/03

In response to CAP and other conservative/religious/hypocritical types: If marriage is a religious term, then it should not be legal for states to give out marriage licenses- that would be a breach of separation of church and state, no? Or does the Constitution only apply when it is convenient for your moral viewpoint? Stop trying to legislate morality and focus on more important issues, people! Can't you see that this and other issues is only being waved in front of us to distract us from the real stuff? Are you aware that there's a fucking WAR going on? And that the economy is for shit?
--JB
06/03

not for me!
--drg
06/03

I don't understand the recurring phrase "gay and lesbian". Aren't lesbians gay? Or does "gay" mean something else than I think?
--aa
06/02

I believe that same sex marriage is great. I live in Australia and we have just had our Prime Minister, the bigoted John Howard, say that they are not right. He unlike many feels his wife and 2 children is the proper way. Marriage is supposed to before couples to express their love and devotion to each other it is not harming others. The politians should go back to doing what they do best creating messes.
--GR
06/02

As a straight man starting over from nothing after a failed marriage, I say if gays want the right to fuck up their break-ups by adding the law, let them. Seriously, the whole argument is stupid. I wish my marriage was a "civil union". As long as there are legal benefits to marriage, then to deny legal rights to gays based only on their sexuality is immoral. Religion does not rule our country, we do. And while we are ALL entitled to our personal views, here in Massachusetts, our state constitution prevents this discrimination. Period. I can trace my sexual development from when I was 8 years old. I've always been dead butch. It's not something I could control ... I suspect gays can't control it either, as you are wired however you are wired. Some AC, some DC, some AC/DC. Straight, not narrow ...
--JAE
06/02

As a straight man starting over from nothing after a failed marriage, I say if gays want the right to fuck up their break-ups by adding the law, let them. Seriously, the whole argument is stupid. I wish my marriage was a "civil union". As long as there are legal benefits to marriage, then to deny legal rights to gays based only on their sexuality is immoral. Religion does not rule our country, we do. And while we are ALL entitled to our personal views, here in Massachisetts, our state constitution prevents this discrimination. Period. I can trace my sexual development from when I was 8 years old. I've always been dead butch. It's not something I could control ... I suspect gays can't control it either, as you are wired however you are wired. Some AC, some DC, some AC/DC. Straight, not narrow ...
--JAE
06/02

I am an attractive , single 24 yr old city girl. I have unfortunatly been though hundreds of dates with your typical city guys. While I do not have the audacity to talk about marriage on the first date, I cant say the same for the guys. There is nothing more disenchating than to hear a guy ramble on and on about how absolutly horrified he is of marriage. The last time I heard this all I could do was sigh and say " I guess marriage has no future". I suppose there are some people out there who actually think that it is cool to be a 30-something bachelor hitting on women my age...that think they "still got it"...and most of all , will take quantity over quality. It is amazing that gay guys are dying to get married and straight guys would die to avoid it.
--J.B
06/01

Traditional "marriage" as we think of it in a Christian based society is the entire problem behinde this issue. As a person not concerned with any type of formal relgion at all, same-sex marriage is no longer a problem. The physical rite of "marriage" does not and can no longer exist as only the Christians see it, in such a fast-moving, ever evolving world. If the power-hungry hipocritic assholes running this country could for once let the constitution do it's job and separate church and state, then they would realize that love is love...and with Not enough love in the world as it is, love should be praised and openly accepted no matter what religion you are.
--K.H.
06/01

I just finally got married in April. I'm 37 and found out I was pregnant in January. I'd been with my partner for about a year living together for about 9 months. Actually the story goes that while we were waiting on the pregnancy test to turn pink, he told me that he had planned on asking me to marry him in March, but if I was pregnant (which he instinctively knew I was) he was going to ask now. When he told me that I was somewhat shocked because I didn't feel ready to get married yet. I've dated guys for longer than a year and broken up and moved on happily. If I wouldn't of been pregnant and he asked in March I don't how I would of felt. As it is I am glad he asked me. I'm also pleased that we got married right away. Being pregnant...that's great too (except for the fact that my allergies are out-of-control). I like the thought that he wanted to be married to me. Also knowing he is there for me when I need someone to lean on is comforting. I still find it strange to call him my husband, sometimes I still say partner. I haven't changed my name. I am considering adding his name to the end of my mine, I like the idea of having the same last name as my bambino.
--SI
06/01

If same-sex marriage makes a mockery of "our" religious values then what does divorce do?
--Kel
05/31

why the fuck not?
--smk
05/31

Love is a many splendoured thing. First comes love then comes marriage. Who knows what next. IF marriage is a religious issue, and religion based upon what? Love and acceptance..devotion to the sways of the world. Then why not? If marriage is a civil issue, then in our divided indifferent state, let there be the promise of a failing union, ie, divorce. Please don't close your eyes to your own poli-cultural myopia. Up with marriage! Up with love!
--LUV
05/31

I support gay marriage, because as the saying goes "anyone can make a mistake". Just kidding. There should be no reason why two consenting adults should have a compromised position in society, just because they're in a minority. Some people choose to love people of their own sex, and there is evidence to suggest that they are physiologically inclined to do so (I only add this for the people who somehow believe that this is all in a person's head and that they need to be "fixed", to be "normal". Man, all any of us need is someone who can convince us that there is a reason to stick around for yet another day, and perhaps a good piece of ass.) I support anyone who will commit to one another and be ready to face the challenges of union. I don't care if it's a man and a man, a black and a white, a blind and a deaf, or all of the above. I support indescriminant love over indescriminant hate, any day of the week. Living in a nation where one ought to embrace the freedom to live the way they choose, it saddens me that it's even an issue. If the church frowns on gay marriage, the answer is simple: Don't marry them; the church is a self-governing club and they have the right not to let you play their reindeer games. The government is not. The government (ideally) is the collected voice of the people. It's public. Hetero, homo, and transgendered, too, all of us have a right to live and be traditional in a way that feels right to us, as long as we don't infringe on the rights of others or cause harm. Gays don't threaten morality, especially gays that want to marry. They want to participate in moral, social act of announcing that they will be there for one another. Rich, white, balding men, sitting on high, looking pompous, they pay a 15-year-old girl for a blow job, before they give their big speech on morality and his trophy wife looks on in awe, from the front row. They think a man kissing another man is gross and unnatural, while watching a porno flick, featuring two chicks, fucking one another, up the ass with a strap-on dildo. Fuck the hypocrisy. We don't need another politician. We need a voice.
--SNS
05/31

I'm Canadian, which means my country has recently become a haven for same sex couples wishing to get married. Not that it makes it much easier in the eyes of many, I guess, but still, it's great knowing that if I were gay and wanted to get married, I would have to only hop the subway to get to the proper location, ie I would not have to leave my country like a fugitive in order to marry the one I love. Same sex marriage should be legal just like any marriage - I just do NOT understand the difficulty in accepting this! Good luck to all who pursue what they want, and here's to a happy long life together.
--JE
05/31

Love is love, whether between a man & a woman or between a man & a man or a woman & a woman. I'm a staunch republican and a conservative in most areas, but politics cannot dictate to the human heart and should not be involved in a personal choice for commitment. My gay friends are truly no different than any of my straight friends and should be allowed the same choices - marriage - with all the legal rights that come with it.
--JLT
05/31

I'm so tired of listening to the rant about gay marriage being bad for straight marriage. I fail to see the correlation. It's like saying that bowling is bad for birth control, as there's absolutely no connection. Straight people suck at marriage. If gay people want to join in on the marital misery train, let's make room for them.
--MLA
05/30

When it comes down to it, marriage is a spiritual version of a civil union. If two men or women who clearly want to spend the rest of their lives together, they should be allowed by the law to do so as a civil union. Whether a faith recognizes their union as a marriage is up to its followers.
--D
05/30

To those that argue that marriage is a religious based "institution, does that mean that I'm not really married if I don't believe in God? What business is it of yours if two women or two men want to marry? How does this effect you? I would live an anwer to all these questions. Disgusting? Sounds like a underlying comment regarding your own marriage. Go ahead and screw up your own marriage and leave everyone else alone. How many gay people do you know all up in your business? Talking about your sex life. Do you think they really care about your impotency, frigidity, secret porn stash, that one credit card you set aside for "expenses"....? Really, some maturity people. Please.
--MH
05/30

I am continuously amazed and/or disgusted with the pathetic arguments that same-gender marriage somehow diminishes my different-gender, straight marriage. I am far more diminished by couples (same gender or not) who want and get the same rights as actually married couples but do not make the emotional, legal, and financial investment to become married.
--dp
05/29

The lifeblood of homosexuality is absence of commitment. Thus, gay marriage will destroy homosexality.
--abs
05/29

By the way, to the person who wants a young republican view...that's me. I'm a neocon with a liberal heart. My moral viewpoint prevents me from being a democrat. But I'm a human rights activist, typical liberal territory. I believe in "live and let live" but I don't think same sex marriage will ever be marriage. Marriage is based in religion. A same sex union... I envision it more like a limited partnership. It would be a legal obligation and any other connotations would be left to the individuals who are a party to it.
--CAP
05/29

Marriage is for man and woman, period. Same sex couples can be partners and they can even create a different legal institution - pairage, for example. But it won't be marriage because marriage has a religious basis, not just a legal / civil one.
--CAP
05/29

Disgusting
--DCP
05/29

here's the deal: our distinguished panel of voice-boxers are all part of nerve's sexual revolution...they're all fairly young, urbanized, and, probably, demoocratic. so of COURSE they will all support gay marriage. so do iii. but, what i'd really love to hear from someone who's from the opposite end of the argument. i want to hear an anti-same-sex marriage person voice their box. THAT would be interesting.
--els
05/28

One thing that really pisses me off is when people say that gays can be "cured". Look. Gayness is innate. It's obvious! No one asked to be gay, just as no one asked to be hetero. Gayness goes far beyond sex, just as heterosexuality does. It's an EMOTION! Our emotions cannot be helped. The only thing we can do is hide them, supress them, not act on them...but they're still there. I never asked to like boys. A gay friend of mine never asked to like boys, either. But he does. People say that gayness is against the bible, that these heathens are going to hell, that these perverts need to find god. I say save the speech for the perverted priests who make a hobby out of molesting little boys and stop ragging on gays like you have nothing else better to do! If the hypocritical mass doesn't want to give the word "marriage" over for the association of gay unions, fine. Call it "Gayriage" or "Life Union", but give them the same rights. The EXACT same rights. There's no reason not to. There really isn't. Bigotry will never prevail. Well...maybe only while Bush is in office...
--ambr
05/28

Personally, I don't really care one way or the other about this, but I can't help but comment on all the "constitutional" arguments that people are making to support the idea of gay marriage. Marriage was originally a religous institution - I don't think anyone would argue about that. Over the years it has morphed into a quasi-governmental instituation, with certain legal associations being granted to it and, eventually, judges performing weddings. Given the history of this "institution" - or whatever you want to call it - 1.) I don't think anyone should be surprised that the conservative religous community sees this as hijacking something that is "theirs" and 2.) I don't understand why the gay marriage community is so dead-set on calling it "marriage" and rejecting the domestic partnership model (as was available in MA) if it provided equivalent legal rights. Let me restate - I don't really give a damn either way, but from the sidelines it seems like the extremes from both sides (the only-if-its-called-marriage crowd on the left and their antithesis keep-it-in-the-closet crowd on the right) are being pretty damn intolerant and unyielding. What are everyone else's thoughts about the domestic partnership laws?
--bz
05/28

I live in Vancouver BC, which has a large gay population, and it is legal to get married if you are a same sex couple. One thing I have learnt by being blessed to have some close friends who are gay is that their romantic lives are the same as anyone else’s. (OK, maybe gay men have more sex) Aside from that their relationships are full of the same issues, rewards and challenges as straight people. One of my gay friends is without a partner at the moment and he wants nothing more then to find someone, fall in love and live happily ever after. I think love is rare and that we should celebrate it whatever form it may take. I think the feelings are the same regardless of the sexes of the two people involved.
--TM
05/28

Gay men and lesbians CAN marry. But, there are restricitons. A gay man may marry a woman with the restriction that she be of a certain age, and not a blood relative. Therefore there are restrictins to straight as well as homosexuals. Should I not be permitted to marry my 16 year old niece or my sister if we really love each other? I find it ironic that in the year 2004 when the majority of heterosexuals DO NOT marry and choose to live together without a piece of paper that homosexuals are demanding marriage. Most gays are not monogamous and will be plugging up the divorce courts with their divorces. Get real, this is not a question of "rights" it is a question of pushing a gay agenda.
--bb
05/28

Oh why the hell not? I am an atheist, does that mean that I cannot be married? Most arguments seem to center on religion.
--
05/28

If marriage cannot accommodate or is prejudicial toward any person, then it shall be held in contempt of the spirit of our constitution, wherein it states that we, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility… promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessing of Liberty to ourselves. Wherein it might be argued that the sexual union between men, given the outset of AIDS, for example, or that the practice may be deemed unsavory, as in the promotion of the Constitution’s general Welfare clause, still the benefits afforded Marriage under the law cannot be exclusionary. The argument here is one of prejudice. It is rather not the case that one type of union is any better, but rather that a union of a particular type exists. One never thinks of marriage as the union solely of man and woman, but rather the public announcement of a dedication by two people toward each other for the course of their lives that involved at its stem sexual loyalty. When you qualify the kind of relationship two people share that emanates this principal of dedication toward each other, then you are prejudicial toward them. Similarly, the family unit cannot be described only as the paradigm of man, woman, and children, and need not be based on blood but time spent according to the loving relationships that form its boundaries. The family unit is a bond that grows out of a love toward its members, evidenced by dedication. We cannot allow a particular group to enjoy the benefits of marriage just because they are male and female. This does not accurately reflect the distribution of couples in our country and in the world for that matter. Approximately 20% of the population is gay. Now, while we may hold that the majority rules, the truth is all 100% of the population is capable of forming loving and lasting relationships that reflect the spirit of our constitution. Let us not be so limited in our thinking, as prejudicial in our minds as to hold that the definition of and benefits of marriage shall be limited to a man and a woman.
--MS
05/27

If they are committed to eachother, why not let them have insurance benefits. Marriage, legally, is a tangled up mess. You would think it would be hard to GIVE away.
--aaa
05/27

marriage as a whole, is just a paper preferece for health care and benefits anymore. where baseball is no longer what it once was (a game) marriage is but a shadow if what it used to represent, 2 people with the desire to go through life, with it's pluses and minuses, until the end. in this day and age it has been made far too easy to end a marriage by divorce. as for same sex marriage, throughout time there has been homosexuality, it is not conditioning, men and women are born with this preference. I see it no different than being born left handed or right handed, niether is correct nor wrong, it just is. how wonderful it would be, for those who so strongly interfere in others lives, to focus that energy on fixing whats wrong in their lives. those who would belive homosexuality to be wrong, would you be so adamant to chastise those born different than you such as the deaf or blind? we were all born different, I was born with a birth defect with my hands, heterosexual and can not change either. acceptance and knowledge are the key and in time i hope that as a nation we can focus on more important issues.
--bar
05/27

'Same-sex marriage' should by all means be legal. The whole question of the morality of gays is absurd. I've known more straight people than you can shake a stick at who're quite sick and treat marriage as an act of convenience. Love is love and that should be more than enough to enter into a union such as marriage. It should not matter if you have a penis or a vagina. The fact that sexuality/gender plays such a huge role in our nation's politics goes to show that for most of us we're still stuck mentally in kindergarten. One more thing: there is that odd notion that gays chose their lifestyle.... personally I don't know of anyone who'd willingly be persecuted and denied equal status to their peers.
--SM
05/27

It's absolutely fine. The climate of paranoia and religious zeal in the US is frightening. This is another trumped up issue to take peoples minds off of more pressing issues, such as this war in Iraq. Why Roe vs Wade is even still being talked about is a big irritation to me. An individual should be free to do anything he wants to, as long as it doesn't harm anybody else. The religious right would burning gays and pregnant teenagers at the stake if they could.
--BK
05/27

It's obvious: there is no reason for this to be treated any differently than marriage with persons of unlike genitalia. It's to silly to discuss, really.
--mstb
05/27

I feel that same-sex marriage should be legal in all 50 U.S. states. It is not detrimental to the institution of marriage, and it does not undermine the moral fabric of America in any way.
--ej
05/27

Same sex marriage is fine - just about anything you want to do with your life is fine as long as it does not violate the personal rights of others... marriage of any kind meaning a commitment as I see it, well it should be commended on any level.
--SH
05/27

K.H. - So taking your argument that marriage is about protecting children and offering them a stable environment implies that people who don't want or can't have kids shouldn't get married? The problem is that many gay and lesbian people only want the protections to their relationship that straight people enjoy (tax status, power of attorney etc). Currently marriage is the only institution that offers that ability.
--MIE
05/27

caly - hear hear! lj user: littlebill :)
--wb
05/27

I agree with "caly" below, but mostly because I know her and if I didnt agree she'd hit me.
--JC
05/26

People once only married whoever their parents personally chose for them. thats not the case today. People once married for money and social status, thats not the case today *for the most part*. People once married as many wives as they could afford, but that's not the case today. People once married at very young ages like 14 and 15, but thats not the case today, in fact thats a very good way to get arrested today. Sons and daughters are no longer bred like horses, and women are no longer considered property. The face of marriage has changed, its always changing and it always WILL change. Things change to survive. Same sex marriages wont HURT marriage, it will only help it to grow stronger. And this is just another one of those changes that the world will have to accept if it wants to grow.
--CM
05/26

i'm told that some other countries are truer about having a seperation of church and state than america is in some cases. like with marriage. They have "civil unions" not marriages for all, and marriages would be left up to the individual couples' religion. It's a shame we cant do the same here. However, i'm sure married couples, religious or not would argue against having their status refered to as a "civil union" instead of a marriage on paper, even if they had the exact same rights if it said marriage. If that happened they'd finally get a taste of what homosexual couples have been trying to point out to them all along. Marriage and civil unions might be ALMOST the same thing but would YOU like if you had to be in a civil union instead of a marriage? I dont think so. LJ name: calystomouse, OD name caly. Go ahead and tell me i'm wrong.
--
05/26

It is morally wrong. Marriage is a union between a man and a woman. No one else qualifies. However I rememmber the early 70's and all its permissiveness. Why be married ? If two people want to go to bed together, is their business, even if they are of the same sex. The absurdity of this act is that not even in Massachusetts there is guarantee that one of the two is entitled to the benefits of the other if he or she were to die. Frankly I believe it is all a charade. I hope legislators will ban it somehow. Thanks Tony M
--am
05/26

Marriage should be between two people because it adds stability for children. Who here can attest to a true love between more than two?At least not on earth.
--K.H.
05/26

Marriage is an artificial institution anyways, thus disqualifying the whole "it's not natural" argument going around, so I don't really see why homosexuals shouldn't marry each other. I am, however, opposed to metrosexual marriage and think it ought to be made illegal.
--NM
05/26

Government and religious folks need to get a life. Why can't they realize that their personal views are just that, "their personal views". Just because they don't agree with it does not give them the right to deny other adults the freedom to do what pleases them. As long as those adults are not harming anyone else, why do all of these religious folks care how someone else displays or lives love? C'mon, its really time to get the holier than thou heads out of the ultra tight asses. Life goes on, people love, be tolerant and let people live.
--NM
05/26

Get the government out of marriage and into civil union/domestic partnership. Over 18 and can consent let the state certify the union. If you want marriage find a church who will marry you and yours.
--rh
05/26

What's the problem? It's about time the gov't and its Bible-thumping cronies got its nose out of peoples private lives. What consenting adults do is entirely upto them.
--MIE
05/26

no such thing
--JDH
05/26

hilo how are you i also wana marry with some fentasting girl
--mike
05/26

Same-sex marriage is a simple matter of fairness a fundamental human right.
--gm
05/26

Well, it looks like the second-best solution will prevail, which is that same-sex marriages will have the same beurocratic status as traditional ones. The outcome I had hoped for was that legal `marriage' would be abandoned by all, in favor of contracts on whatever terms the parties chose, plain and simple. Fuck the state and its endless meddling in who can do what and with whom. Legality aside, marriage (by which I mean long term cohabitation by twos) as a desirable state is oversold. It's just the only way we know how to raise kids. It really takes at least two. Stable families of more than two adults would be nice...
--sbs
05/26

Marriage, as far as the government is concerned, has nothing to do with morality, children, love, or sex. A marriage is a civil union between two people that gives them certian rights and benefits -- i.e. should a breakup insue, the right to have the courts help divide the property; to be able to check "married" on one's tax form, etc. Questions that involve the "morality" of the choice, the importance of heterosexual love and fidelity, the "sanctity" of the even, or whether or not gays should have children, should be left to those who have too much bible thumping time on their hands to read that little line "separation of church and state," which was written, incidentally, by a room full of heterosexual religious white men! No one is asking the pope to ordain a gay couple's marriage. All we are asking is that the government gives them their equal protection under the law.
--ec
05/25

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with same sex marriage. It is no other person's right, especially not the government's, to decide whether or not a couple can get married based on their sex. Those who use God as an argument against same sex marriage and its legality need to remember that there is a seperation of church and state in this country. I know our President has forgotten, but it's up to all of us to wake up and remember what this country was founded for--FREEDOM!
--JT
05/25

I think that adults over the age of consent in their particular state should be able to marry the person(s) of their choice. Opposite sex, same sex, multiple people... it's really none of my business who they marry. It shouldn't be any of the governments business either.
--MK
05/25

Just plain "SICK."
--DT
05/25

Whoever made the idiotic comparison of children, animals, etc, seems to miss the point of CONSENTING ADULTS. If 8 adults of sound mind decide they want to enter into a marriage together, why shouldn't they be allowed to?
--GRB
05/25

There must be a divorce between religious marriage and civil marriage. One cannot force/legislate a religious group to accept the marriage of two individuals who are "out of bounds." Likewise the state should not rely on religious institutions to grant various perks, rights, etc. Unless there is no separation of church and state.
--SG
05/25

KLM asks what is next. What exactly would be the problem with more than two people entering into the legal agreement currently known as marriage? As for animals, children and comatose patients - they really don't have the ability to consent to marriage so that is a nonsense comaparison and not a result that would logically follow.
--VNY
05/25

Whats next? Three person marraige? Four? If a man can love another man and get married, why can't two women love a man and get married. We are discussing two people (any two) being able to marry. Why not more, or animals, or children, or siblings, or comatose patients? If love is the only qualifier, let's open the flood gates.
--KLM
05/25

SSM- please go away. Please leave the institution of marriage alone. Please "partner up", "commit", "bond" or whatever.....but don't marry. Ride the wave of acceptance, force SSM on the public, and then drown in the backlash. Then, sit with your peers and reminisce about what almost was. Vanish, back behind closed doors. You almost had it....but you forced it.
--jcr
05/25

As a (mostly) straight man who has been married for over 20 years, I do not need my marriage defended from same-sex couples. My marriage, and the rest of my life, needs to be defended from hypocritical bigots.
--RRA
05/24

They should have equal opportunity to be as miserable as the rest of us.
--CGH
05/24

Thanks for the enlightening sentence, WB. I feel scared of marriage because I don't want to get divorced! I like the idea of mariage but don't know of many that work. If I ever do get married, I want it to be forever, without the option of divorce. Marrying someone is like making them your family-you're stuck with them for life. I don't know that I'll ever find it, but I hope for it. My mom was very similar to the author's - stressing independance, particularly financial independance. It took her a long time to gain financial independance, and her second marriage isn't doing so well. My grandparents (both divorced before they married each other) have been together for over 30 years now. That's what I want. Someone to share life with, for the rest of our lives.
--MP
05/24

Omosexuality is existing,so should the possibility to marry your partner,no matter his/her sex
--gmf
05/24

I think lots of things.
--WB
05/24

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