The New York Yankees selected pitcher Sean Carley with the 422nd pick in the 2014 MLB Draft. We don’t know much about Carley, a right-hander out of West Virginia, but we’re already sure we love him: if only because he bears a striking resemblance to Kenny Powers, Danny McBride’s foul-mouthed, real-fuckin’-American antihero on HBO’s Eastbound & Down.
Unfortunately, Carley — who’s headed to the minors — will have to shave before he plays for New York, thanks to the team’s notorious facial hair policy. But in the meantime, do you, Sean. To paraphrase your mulleted doppelgänger, you’re a bulletproof tiger with an arm like a fucking cannon.