This week, Ashley Donald and Erik Rogers were taking their engagement photos in downtown Charleston when a stranger approached them. As photographer Raheel Gauba puts it, this man had “his shirt pulled up and belly proudly on display.” That person happened to be Bill Murray, because of course it was Bill Murray. The legendary actor and comedian graciously posed for a few shots with the happy couple.
Let me just say, respectfully: fuck you guys. Fuck you, Ashley. Fuck you, Erik. Fuck you too, Raheel. I live in New York City, and it feels like everyone I know has a Bill Murray story — except me. (Ashley, Erik, and Raheel, I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. You seem nice.)
Having Bill Murray crash your party is now so common that it’s actually kind of a boring, everyday thing to have happen to you. Remember when rumors of an apocryphal Murray party-crashing tour briefly swept the Internet? That was all the way back in 2012. I’d hate to think I’ve missed my window. To better our collective odds of finally — finally — seeing America’s most wonderfully weird celebrity, we’ve analyzed his past misadventures to come up with nine ways to have your very own close encounter of the Bill kind.
1. Visit Charleston.
Ideally, go to Charleston when you’re getting married. Bill’s two most recent surprise sightings were this engagement shoot and a rousing speech at a bachelor party last month, both of which took place in South Carolina’s second-largest city. That’s not a big surprise — Bill lives there.
2. Hang out in New York City. Like, anywhere in New York City.
Bill has been an intermittent fixture at Brooklyn house parties and NYC bars since his 2007 divorce. But a night of debauchery isn’t a prerequisite. One of my coworkers once spotted him sitting outside Murray’s Bagels — I know, right? — at 13th and 6th. Then again, like me, your mileage may vary.
3. Sing karaoke.
4. Summer on Martha’s Vineyard.
My editor once ran into Bill at a reggae concert on Martha’s Vineyard. Another fan reports meeting him there as he boarded a ferry.
5. Go to a baseball game.
6. Play kickball.
Bill spontaneously joined a game on NYC’s Roosevelt Island in 2012. (Think about it this way. Best case scenario, you start playing kickball and Bill Murray shows up. Worst case scenario, you start playing kickball and have a fun time playing kickball. It’s a win-win.)
7. Go to festivals.
Whether he’s indiscriminately serving tequila shots at SXSW with the Wu-Tang Clan or picking up three women at once at a Tribeca Film Festival afterparty, Bill is naturally drawn to cultural Bacchanalia.
8. Be a student, or at least a twentysomething hipster.
9. Don’t invite him to your party.
Rookie mistake. Murray thrives on entropy. He’s a little bit like a cat who refuses to sit in your lap when you call him, but gets all up in your business when you’re trying to use your computer. Be patient. Bill Murray will crash all our parties, eventually.