Pin it

If you’ve got a question for Bad send it to badbarrington@gmail.com.

Dear Bad,

I’m interested in pegging but I’m not sure my sexually conservative boyfriend’s going to be into it. What’s the best way to introduce something like this into our sex life?

— Peggy likes the Pegging

Dear PEGGY,

If I learned anything from the A-Team, it’s that incredible, improbable, almost impossible things can be accomplished using the element of surprise. Now, a lot of “reputable” advice columnists would say that preparation is the key to introducing something like this to the bedroom. Preparation in both the discussion of the act and in the act itself. This hesitant, wade-up-to-your-armpits approach is one of the many reasons why “reputable” advice columnists suck.

Quick story. When I was 17, I really wanted to go to Harvard. My GPA was a little low so I knew that the only way I’d get in is if I aced the SAT’s. For months I studied and studied. I dropped some serious cash on one of those SAT prep courses. I went to bed each night dreaming of filling in those little bubbles with lead. When test day came, I felt totally PREPARED and then crashed and burned. In one afternoon my dreams of Harvard disappeared. With my 1.9 GPA and miniscule SAT’s I had to settle for junior college instead. In that moment I knew that all that preparation had ruined me. If I had only gone in cold, I know I would have aced it.

Learn from my mistake PEGGY. Preparation is for the weak. Don’t talk to your boyfriend. Don’t use lube. Just try to sneak it in. If he doesn’t like it, just say that it was an accident or that you slipped. Then wait 5 minutes and try again. He’ll most likely be impressed with your persistence and change his mind.

That’s what the A-Team would do PEGGY. That’s what you should do, too.

Take Bad’s advice, you’ll never regret it —

Bad