If the idea of a man hypnotizing you and then making you have an orgasm intrigues you, read on. Neil the Erotic Hypnotist has been mixing the seemingly disparate worlds of hypnosis and sexuality for the past thirteen years to provide both therapeutic and pleasurable experiences. I talked to Neil about how he started, the ins-and-outs of hypno-orgasms, and the oddest fantasies a hypnotist can help create. If any brave souls want to try erotic hypnosis, you can book a session over on his personal site.
How’d you get into erotic hypnosis and how did you learn to do it?
I’ve always been interested in hypnosis. I remember taking out hypnosis books from the library when I was about 9-years-old. That interest fell by the wayside (I discovered computers), but was revived when about 13 years ago, I stumbled upon an online forum about hypnosis and sex. Besides rekindling the intellectual interest in hypnosis, I found myself extremely aroused at the possibilities.
In 2004, I took a hypnotherapy certification course, which both improved my technique and and taught me the basics of hypnotherapy. I continued doing hypnosis for fun and as my main sexual outlet for a few more years. Then in the summer of 2008, I quit my day job and took some time off to figure out what I wanted to do next. I decided to give hypnosis a try, and started doing it for a living the following spring. Now hypnosis has been my full time job for the last four and a half years.
Are clients at all nervous when they first come to you?
It’s very natural for clients to be nervous on the first session; they’re meeting a stranger at his apartment and are going to experience hypnosis, which the popular media equates with either brainwashing or being made to cluck like a chicken. That’s why I always start the session with some chit-chat, and then get to discussing what the client is looking to explore. I also take time to explain hypnosis in a scientific way in order to dispel all the misconceptions. For the record: I’ve never made anyone cluck like a chicken.
Do they have to be “in the mood” in order for it to work?
There is no specific mood someone needs to be in to be hypnotized. In rare instances, a particularly bad or distracted mood could prevent someone from going as deep as they would otherwise go, but I find the initial talk is able to overcome that for most people.
How is being hypnotized into believing you’re, for example, being sucked off, different from just imagining you are?
Everyone experiences hypnosis and hypnotically-generated sensations differently. For some, it can feel exactly like being sucked off; for others, it’s more like a pleasant, arousing sensation centered around the penis. Others might not be able to conjure a particular sensation at all. It depends on the person’s imagination. Basically, if they can imagine the sensation vividly, hypnosis can make it feel real.
What separates a hypnotic fantasy from a daydream?
A daydream is a trance. During a hypnosis session, I take clients into a deeper trance than a daydream, which is how the sensations can feel more real. However, the actual sensations are experienced when the client is awake, using what’s called “post-hypnotic suggestions”. I find that makes for a better experience, since not everyone remembers everything when they’re in a deep trance.
It is also possible for some people to experience a very vivid and elaborate scene while under hypnosis, as a sort of guided dream. Just like a regular dream, it can feel very real.
So, you’re bringing someone to climax through hypnosis. Do they have an actual orgasm?
I differentiate between what I like to call “hypno-orgasms” and regular orgasms. The former are just hypnotically-generated sensations and do not include ejaculation. To some guys, they can feel very real and intense; others just feel a pleasant sensation. Guys can have as many of them as they want. They often get more intense each time. I always make sure to end the session with one real orgasm, unless the client requests not to have one.
How? Explain as much as you can without giving away trade secrets.
Those usually require some physical manipulation, but using hypnosis I can make them far more intense than usual and have them last longer too. I have gotten some guys to experience a real orgasm just through hypnosis, but most guys aren’t capable of that depth of trance without a lot of practice.
And your site tells me you can make a man have multiple orgasms. Wow. How do you fight against biology and the sexual refractory period?
It is possible to use hypnosis to give men multiple real orgasms, and I’ve accomplished that a few times. My record so far has been three orgasms in about 20 minutes. The reason this is possible is that with hypnosis we’re getting direct access to the subconscious. The subconscious controls everything about the body, including functions that are part of the autonomic nervous system: heart beat, immune system, digestive system – and yes, ejaculation. However, overriding the refractory period requires a very deep trance that not everyone is able to attain on their first hypnosis session.
Right. So, what’s been the weirdest client request so far?
The funniest request was probably from a straight guy who wanted to be controlled in the most stereotypical cartoonish ways: being made to say “yes, master”, obey automatically like a robot and all the cheesy things you’d see on Saturday morning cartoons. I don’t usually enjoy the typical media portrayal of hypnosis, but I had a lot of fun in that session. I guess that 9-year-old hypno-curious me resurfaced.
Ha. That’s great.
I know you don’t have sex with clients, but in some fantasies, such as bondage, the hypnotist seems quite an active participant. Are you getting anything out of it?
Indeed, I don’t have sex with clients. That doesn’t mean I can’t touch them. One of the turn ons from bondage for a lot of guys is the feeling of vulnerability when they’re immobilized. My touch increases that feeling, because they’re unable to stop me from touching them.
I am only human. If I find a client attractive and the scenario is something that turns me on, I will be aroused; it’s only natural.
Have you ever been so aroused you ended up dating a client?
There have been a couple of clients that I was particularly attracted to. I requested they become sex partners instead of clients. I didn’t date any of them, but a fun time was had by all.
Is there any way that what happens in your sessions could have a permanent effect on someone’s sex life? Do triggers stay active, like, is anyone coming when they hear the word, “club soda”?
Most definitely. As I mentioned, I do hypnotherapy too, and I will do sessions that involve both therapy and erotic components. The point of therapy, of course, is to have long-lasting effects. Often the therapy I get asked to do deals with sexual issues. I’ve helped guys get over sexual hangups, learn to bottom during anal sex and lots more.
It is possible to leave certain triggers for clients to use on their own or with partners. However, it’s always hard to predict how long a hypnotic trigger will last for a particular person. In general, a trigger will last longer if it’s used regularly.
What’s the best or most creative fantasy you’ve created for someone?
I’ve had a couple of clients over the years who were microphiles: they’re turned on by the idea of being tiny and the rest of the world looking huge. Since the shrink ray has not yet been invented, hypnosis was the only way for them to be able to live out that fantasy. It was very cool for me to be able to give them that pleasure – in essence, make their dream come true.
Were you the giant, then?
We did a couple of different scenarios. One just had him imagine a scene in his mind with his eyes closed, kind of like a guided dream. Another scenario was done in something called a “waking trance”. This is a state where the person feels like he’s awake, but he’s actually still hypnotized. He had his eyes open, but saw the world (including me) as huge. In that scenario, I played the part of a giant.
Fascinating. Is there anything you won’t do?
I won’t do anything that I believe will cause long-term damage to the client. I also won’t take on clients who I feel are unstable or require psychiatric treatment.
And the question I’m most curious about: Do you use erotic hypnosis in your personal life?
Of course! That’s how I got started with hypnosis and I still do it as part of my sex life once in a while.
Do you feel like people fall harder for you because you can hypnotize them?
I’ve never done hypnosis with someone I was in a long-term relationship with, just with play partners. I do find that some guys want to experience it again and again, because it does make sex much more intense.
This article originally ran in 2013.